The instant Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Naruto passed the threshold, Naruto walked over to the couch and collapsed on it. Sasuke fetched the ashtray from the patio, moving to set it on the coffee table in front of the sofa.
"Take your shoes off first," Sasuke scolded him in a tone drenched with "you know better."
Naruto was feeling light on his feet, stumbling just slightly as he stood again. He was definitely experiencing the effects of the brownie he ate earlier, along with the modest amount of alcohol he'd drunk. Even the feeling of his own clothing against his body was different. The sensations blurred around the edges, yet they were at the same time distinct. It made him want to take Sasuke and burrow into their softest blanket, lying against each other.
It was nice to watch Sasuke liven up, as he so rarely did around anyone but Naruto. One unacquainted with Sasuke would have still found him taciturn that night, but it was enough of a contrast from his typical self that even Sakura noticed. She told him that Sasuke looked happier these days. Naruto was good for him, she said. Naruto answered that Sasuke was good for him too.
He also relished the opportunity to become more familiar with Sasuke's friends and brother. He sometimes wondered if he would always be Sasuke's plus one rather than a real member of their group. He'd never been one of the cool kids growing up, and Sasuke's friends were the epitome of cool in Naruto's eyes.
His staff and Kakashi were successful tattoo artists, Shikamaru was a verified genius, and Itachi was a doctor. It was an intimidating lineup, to be sure. Then again, the concept of not being "cool enough" was juvenile, he reminded himself, and no one gave a shit about his scars. Besides, he had a killer smile and, indisputably, the best puns in the world.
Meeting Sasuke's brother was a trip. He was almost as stunning as Sasuke. Naruto was still convinced that it was impossible to find anyone more gorgeous than Sasuke and had yet to be proven wrong. Itachi even proposed meeting him afterward and sharing some pictures. He hoped it wasn't just one of those things people say at parties and never follow up on, but Itachi didn't seem like the type to do that.
While he genuinely liked Itachi as a person, knowing Itachi better also meant knowing Sasuke better. He knew so little about Sasuke's childhood. It wasn't as though Naruto had any family of his own either. Sometimes he caught himself feeling jealous of Sasuke. At least he had someone. It was stupid to compare their situations, Naruto reminded himself. While Naruto's childhood was difficult by any standard, he could never fully grasp what Sasuke endured as a child.
Maybe, one day, he'd be able to call Itachi his brother too. He was getting carried away, wasn't he?
"Until you get on your feet."
That was the original premise for their arrangement when Naruto moved in after his injury, and neither revisited the topic since then. Sasuke wasn't necessarily his for good, and Itachi wasn't his brother-in-law.
At least not yet. Sasuke seemed more than a little hooked on him, if the moon tattoo on his wrist was any indication.
If it was up to him, he would never leave. He wanted more lazy mornings with Sasuke, his unconscious body clinging to Naruto and manifesting truths he so rarely articulated. He wanted to watch Sasuke paint on his balcony and feel Sasuke's tender, long kisses just before he fell asleep. Even if they disrupted each other's sleep with their nightmares, it was okay, because at least they were together when they woke up. Still, it'd be presumptuous to assume that Sasuke wanted him there indefinitely.
"Yes, Mother," Naruto sighed, kicking off each shoe with the opposite foot. He handed the pair to Sasuke, who put them by the shoe rack along with his own shoes. Shikamaru followed suit.
"Want anything to drink?" Sasuke asked, walking toward the kitchen.
That was good thinking. They'd probably need it when they smoked.
"Water's good," Naruto replied.
"Yeah, same."
Sasuke promptly brought three full cups of water back to the coffee table in front of his sofa. He sat between Naruto and Shikamaru. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, but Naruto certainly didn't mind the way his thigh pressed against Sasuke's, or the fact that he could smell Sasuke's shampoo. Sasuke had given Shikamaru a bit more breathing room, a sliver of space separating their bodies.
"You run a tight ship," Shikamaru said, the insides of his brows raising slightly.
"And you could run a tighter ship," Sasuke replied. "At least get rid of the pizza boxes."
"That's the thing," Shikamaru clarified. "It's always a new pizza box."
"Really?" Sasuke asked incredulously. "Always?"
Naruto had never actually been to Shikamaru's house, but Sasuke referred to it often as a "pigsty." Sasuke was one of the cleanest, most exacting people he knew. Given his high standards, Naruto couldn't entirely trust Sasuke's description.
"Always."
"Wait," Naruto interrupted, "There are always pizza boxes at Shikamaru's house? Do you mean always always?"
That said a lot, given that they'd known each other for decades. How much pizza could this guy eat?
"Any time I can remember."
"Damn…" Naruto said, his jaw slack. "You really like pizza, huh?"
"It's cheap and easy," Shikamaru shrugged. "Cooking is a pain in the ass, and eating out is so expensive."
"Do you ever cook?" Sasuke asked.
Naruto couldn't help but feel like he was being scolded indirectly. He wasn't what he'd call a great cook either, but he could brew some damned nice drinks thanks to his time as a barista.
"Uuuuhhh," Shikamaru mused for several long seconds. "I mean… I boil water for my mac n' cheese. Does that count?"
"Mnn," Sasuke said, resting his forehead against his palm and rubbing his temple. "No, it doesn't. What do you even eat?"
"I just buy TV dinners and chips and stuff."
"Oh god, that was my entire early twenties," Naruto laughed.
"Naruto, you were twenty-five when you were deployed. How do you define early twenties?"
"Ummm… Up to the age of twenty-four?" Naruto asked, his voice squeaking as his tone rose at the end of his question.
"So basically the entire time you lived on your own," Sasuke replied, rolling his eyes. "You're no better than Shika."
"Hey!" Naruto protested. "At least I'm learning now!"
Naruto actually made a decent chicken parmesan for them the other day. He knew Italian food tended to put Sasuke in a good mood; it reminded him of his mother. Sasuke's mom always had a weakness for Italian food, and Sasuke gladly ate the results of it throughout his childhood. He'd had a long day at work.
"Better than I can say," Shikamaru shrugged.
"Would it kill you to be a little less lazy?" Sasuke sighed.
"Would it kill you to slack off once in a while?" Shikamaru countered.
"Oh!" Naruto said, laughing and pointing at Sasuke. "He's got you there!"
"Please," Sasuke said, sighing. "This whole party was me slacking off."
"And how are you liking it?" Shikamaru asked.
"Mn, it's not bad."
"So…" Shikamaru said, taking a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. "Let's continue that trend, hm?"
Three joints rested on the left side, with eight cigarettes on the right. He handed one to Sasuke, along with a silver Zippo lighter.
"Green hit for the birthday boy," Shikamaru said. "Then pass it to Naruto. My thanks for hosting this whole thing."
He was already familiar with Sasuke's behavior when he was drunk, but what would he be like high? The last time Sasuke smoked was nearly a decade ago. He hoped he would laugh. The sound of Sasuke's laughter could probably cure cancer, Naruto thought. Even after over two years, the most he'd ever gotten from him was a modest chuckle.
"Aw," Naruto said. "You're too sweet, Shika."
He'd never called Shikamaru that, and he hadn't meant to. He'd just heard Sasuke use the nickname so often that it left his lips naturally. Maybe it was the liquor or the weed already in his system making his lips looser. Whatever the case, Shikamaru didn't seem to mind.
As Shikamaru handed the joint to Sasuke, he caught a good whiff of the pungent dried plant inside. It was strong - herbal with sweet undertones. It reminded him of blueberries and forests, alongside the unmistakable scent of marijuana.
"What strain is this?" Sasuke asked.
"Some Blue Dream from Humboldt. I've had other batches from this farm, but this one takes the cake," Shikamaru replied. Humboldt was a coastal, sparsely populated area in northern California infamous for its place in the Emerald Triangle, which produced the most weed of anywhere in the United States. "It's a sativa-dominant hybrid, if that means anything to you."
"Sativa?" Naruto asked, tilting his head.
"Yeah. Sativas are known for being energizing and euphoric, while indicas are more relaxing."
Naruto had smoked weed a few times abroad and even more often during his later years of high school, back when he lived in the group home out in Buttfuck Nowhere, Texas. Every few weeks, they'd sneak a joint out on the trail by Sakura's house. Given how remote they were, the best they could come by was just a smidge better than shake.
What he'd smoked in Afghanistan was mind blowing to him. It was just him, Tenten, and Neji; Lee was too well-behaved to participate in such debauchery. Yet here Lee was, stoned out of his skull and passed out in Sasuke's office. Poor guy never saw it coming, but Naruto would ensure he was cared for.
Sasuke flipped back the lighter's cap, not yet igniting it.
"Sativas sound like the fun ones!"
Shikamaru shrugged.
"It's a simplification. Strains don't hit everyone the same way, and there are hundreds of strains of indica and sativa."
"Wow! There's more to it than I-"
When he heard Sasuke light the Zippo, he couldn't help but stare at him, his mouth slightly ajar. He'd never seen Sasuke do this before. Sasuke held the fire to the very tip of the joint, rotating it clockwise so that it would burn evenly. He took several baby tokes back to back, inhaling hardly any smoke but ensuring that the cherry would stay lit. For someone who never smoked, he sure seemed to know what he was doing. Maybe he'd watched Shikamaru. And why did Sasuke look so damned hot when he did this?
Sasuke held the joint between his thumb and middle finger and took a deep hit. He held it in his lungs for a couple seconds, waiting for it to absorb before tilting his head back and exhaling an enormous plume of smoke. The posture accentuated his collarbone and Adam's apple, which moved just slightly. Naruto felt a growing warmth down south, his hands working up the slightest bit of a sweat. Dammit, Shikamaru was here! Now was not the time!
But could he help it? The light coming in from the kitchen illuminated the smoke, which wafted and whirled around itself. The image of glimmering smoke around Sasuke's flawless features and the works of art on his skin was almost ethereal to him. He felt a bit silly when he felt goosebumps form over his arms and legs.
Even still, it sometimes blew his mind that Sasuke was actually his boyfriend. He could've walked right out of a magazine.
Sasuke righted his head, clearing his throat as he passed Naruto the joint.
"Here, Naru."
The way the light hit Sasuke's face did things to him that he couldn't ignore. Weed always did tend to make him horny. When would tomorrow come, already? They'd discussed their scene in just enough detail to keep Naruto guessing. If Sasuke ripped him off of this couch and chained him down on the bed at this very moment, Naruto wouldn't complain.
"Thanks, babe."
"Well shit, that was a rip," Shikamaru said with his brows raised.
"It's smooth," Sasuke replied with a shrug.
Naruto took a deep drag off of the joint, waited a second, and exhaled. It tasted much like how it smelled - slightly sweet with floral and piney after tastes. Sasuke was right. It was smooth. He was determined to smoke no less than Sasuke, because he couldn't be the only one to show off.
Unfortunately, it resulted in a short fit of coughing. He was glad Sasuke had the foresight to serve them all water. He passed the joint to Shikamaru before taking a few swallows.
"Still, I wish I could hit it like that."
"If you'd stop smoking like a chimney, maybe you could."
Sasuke had done well cutting back on his smoking. He'd only bought two packs of cigarettes since Naruto returned four months ago. Sasuke told Naruto about Shikamaru's smoking habits - two packs a day in normal times, three if he felt especially stressed. Sasuke had also told him that Shikamaru's father passed away from stomach cancer, possibly meaning that Shikamaru had a genetic predisposition for cancer.
"Ah, couldn't pass up the opportunity, huh?" Shikamaru replied. "I told you. I'll try to quit."
He knew that this was Sasuke's way of showing concern. He was the same way when Naruto defied doctors' orders in the hospital. Naruto kept trying to push the limits of what he could do, medical advice be damned, and Sasuke reeled him in. Shikamaru took a long hit, coughing deeply.
He handed the joint to Sasuke before he was finished coughing, likely knowing it would take a few seconds to right himself. After a few deep swallows of water, he was back in business. Naruto supposed this was exactly what Sasuke was worried about.
"Try harder. You're getting a smoker's cough."
He held the joint up again, this time keeping his head upright as he took a hit. A similarly sized plume of smoke left his lips yet again, and Sasuke didn't make a sound. He passed the joint to Naruto, who took a more modest hit this time. Shikamaru was right; this was some strong shit.
"You could do with better food too," Sasuke added as Naruto handed Shikamaru the joint. "If every one of those pizza boxes was new, you need help. Honestly, every time I'm there, you're saying you'd just recently finished eating pizza?"
"I mean," Shikamaru searched, dragging off of the joint and coughing for several seconds. "Yeah. Recently."
He passed the joint to Sasuke.
"Shika…" Sasuke said, accepting the joint and taking a hit.
"Yeah?"
Sasuke held his breath in, passing the joint to Naruto as he slowly exhaled yet another puff.
"How do you define 'recently?'"
Naruto took another toke off of the joint. Whatever feelings he had before were amplifying, and that smile on his lips grew. He knew that it'd take a good fifteen minutes for this to kick in. Maybe he was nearing his limit.
"I don't know," Shikamaru said, his chin resting in his palm. "A day or two?"
"That's not new anymore, Shika!" Sasuke said, angrily gesturing with his arm.
Maybe part of it was that Sasuke was a wee bit intoxicated, but he'd never seen Sasuke get so animated with anyone else. Naruto wasn't even aware he'd started laughing until he heard a chuckle leave his lips, handing the joint to Shikamaru.
"I mean, 'new' is such a relative word, dontcha think?" Naruto asked as he passed the joint to Shikamaru.
Naruto had to admit that he couldn't see a two-day old pizza box as "new," but so rarely did he find opportunities to ruffle Sasuke's feathers. He cherished them as they came.
"Exactly," Shikamaru validated. "New, recently, clean, dirty… All subjective."
Shikamaru took a hit off of the joint, coughing as he handed it over to Sasuke.
"Fuck you guys," Sasuke said, shaking his head and taking a long drag.
Shikamaru snickered, and Naruto couldn't help but laugh.
"I knew you were the type to nag from the very beginning," Naruto said, pursing his lips. "You act so stoic, but you worry about people."
"Yeah, I can see why you'd think that," Sasuke said, turning to face Naruto as he passed him the joint. "I did get on you a lot for skipping meals."
Holy fuck was that ever a loaded sentence! Sasuke's face may have appeared flat, the left corner of his lips ever so slightly risen. It was a knowing, impish smirk that Naruto knew very well. The only reason Sasuke nagged him for this was because Naruto fainted in his chair during his first session after he'd skipped breakfast that morning.
"Uh… Yeah!" Naruto said, laughing nervously. "Yeah, it was stuff like that."
His cheeks felt so hot. God, was he seriously blushing right now? Keep it together! Being stoned wasn't exactly helping.
They were nearing the end of their joint, his hand now feeling the warmth from the burning cherry. He took a modest hit and handed it over to Shikamaru.
"Oh, Sasuke," Shikamaru sighed, shaking his head in disapproval. "Don't be so cruel."
Shikamaru coughed a little less this time as he hit the joint.
"Wha- Wait, what did you tell him?!" Naruto almost shouted, sputtering incredulously.
The utter betrayal! How dare he?
"He kept you anonymous," Shikamaru interceded as he handed the joint to Sasuke. "Then, next time we talked, he was dating you. That was...quite the recovery, by the way."
Sasuke leaned back into the sofa, placing his right hand behind his head. Sasuke casually leaned against Naruto. Sasuke likely hadn't even noticed, but Naruto was acutely aware of every point of contact between their bodies.
"I like to think that I'm very resilient, yes," Naruto grinned, puffing out his chest.
Sasuke dragged another heavy hit. Naruto and Shikamaru ate over twice as much brownie as he had, and it was still in their systems. Of the three of them, Sasuke was definitely the most sober, but it wouldn't stay that way for long with hits like that. Naruto still couldn't get over how good Sasuke looked, and the euphoric blur of marijuana and alcohol in his system certainly wasn't helping. They made eye contact again as Sasuke offered him the joint.
"I'm tapping out," Naruto said. "Pass it to Shika."
Sasuke nodded, handing Shikamaru the joint. Yes, Naruto was competitive, but he knew his limits. Besides, he didn't want to make an idiot out of himself in front of Shikamaru, whom he was still secretly impressed by despite his questionable eating habits.
Shikamaru reached into his pocket and pulled out a roach clip - a small metal alligator clamp attached to a thin metal rod. The clamp was adorned by a pea-sized glass eightball on the tip of one of the handles.
Shikamaru opened the clamp and closed it where their fingers had previously held the joint. He grasped the rod attached to the clamp and held the joint up to this mouth, taking another hit off of it. He quickly handed it to Sasuke, immediately afterward turning in the other direction and coughing. Naruto had to admit that he could see why Sasuke worried about him sometimes.
"Scared the shit out of the other customers," Sasuke said, a fond smile on his face. "This musclehead falls flat on the floor. It was so loud. All I could think was, 'Damn, he must be heavy.'"
Naruto couldn't help but laugh. Shikamaru snickered, passing Sasuke the joint. It was almost finished, Sasuke taking another hit.
"Oh god. How long was I out?"
He'd never heard this story from Sasuke's perspective, after all. He'd been too flustered at the time to ask, and he preferred it to slip to the back of his mind after the fact.
"Maybe ten minutes?" Sasuke guessed, handing the joint over to Shikamaru. "You were sprawled out on your back."
"Jesus…" Naruto said, shaking his head.
"At least you weren't bad to look at," Sasuke shrugged. "Could've definitely been worse."
Knowing Sasuke as he did now, he could see that Sasuke was into him from the start, even if only casually.
"God, that had to have been one of the top five most humiliating moments of my life," Naruto huffed.
"You've had worse?" Shikamaru asked.
"Shh! I'm blocking that out!" Naruto laughed. "Was it staring at my manly visage for ten minutes that made you crush on me, Sasuke?"
"A crush?" Sasuke asked, tilting his brow. "You're deluded."
Sasuke sighed.
"It was very odd," Shikamaru acknowledged. "Sasuke messed around with people, but never once a customer. He'd been in the business for over a decade at that point, and always kept work and play separate."
Naruto's eyes widened. Naruto always felt like he was the one advancing the relationship back then. Sasuke did flirt with him the third time they met. Naruto remembered it well, because he relayed all of their interactions back to Sakura and Kiba in excruciating detail. He thought that Sasuke was into him, but other perspectives were always welcome. His friends nearly boycotted the topic.
"Don't put ideas in his head, Shika."
"Is it putting an idea in someone's head if I'm just stating a fact?"
Shikamaru certainly had him there.
"Hm…" Sasuke sighed. "I don't know what it was. Maybe you're just my type."
"And what type is that, exactly?" Naruto asked, grinning mischievously.
"Someone who doesn't give up."
Sasuke hit the joint as if he'd said something of little consequence. Out of Sasuke's view, Shikamaru's brows rose for just a moment. Naruto felt so happy he might cry, and being royally faded certainly wasn't helping.
Naruto didn't know if Sasuke would've said this if he weren't high, but he did know that Sasuke meant it. No wonder this was what drew Sasuke to him. Sasuke was never one to give up, the defiant words "nemini cedimus" etched across his collarbone - yield to none.
Sasuke got that tattoo shortly after leaving his father's house for Brooklyn. He wanted to start life over as someone who would yield to no one, Sasuke explained. In fact, it had been this very tattoo that was being touched up the day they met.
"Finish it off, Sasuke," Shikamaru said when Sasuke offered him the joint. "Not much left in it."
Sasuke nodded.
"You're right," Sasuke said, hitting it again. "This is some strong shit."
Shikamaru laughed.
"Welcome to weed in the twenty-first century, Sasuke. Told 'ya it's stronger these days."
Sasuke shook his head, finishing off the joint and clearing his throat.
"You weren't kidding."
"You're feelin' it, huh?" Shikamaru asked.
At least Naruto wasn't the only one. He leaned against Sasuke, resting his head on Sasuke's shoulder.
"Mhm. Has a nice euphoric buzz about it."
Well, Naruto thought, it wasn't as though he could've described it better. The effects were compounding quickly as the minutes passed, and Sasuke was probably in a similar situation.
"So, Mr. World Explorer, how does it compare to Afghanistan?" Shikamaru asked.
Naruto tilted his head. They'd both been superb, but they carried different feelings and tastes. This stuff made him giggly, which he didn't necessarily mind.
"I dunno. They're both bomb," Naruto said, swinging his shins. "Apples and oranges, ya know? The stuff I had was more skunky. But as a personal preference? This shit right here."
"Well, glad you're enjoying it," Shikamaru replied.
Sasuke placed his left arm out, the inside of his forearm facing the ceiling. Sasuke's entire left lower arm was unmarked, other than the moon tattooed by his wrist. Naruto absently found himself wondering if it'd always be this way. Probably not, especially if the opposing arm was any prediction, covered in a sleeve of serpents and purple and blue chrysanthemums. Sasuke tended to favor large pieces above smaller ones; he'd talked about getting a second sleeve before.
Sasuke pulled back his fingers, stretching his wrist and the inside of his forearm. This was an exercise Naruto saw him do often; it protected his wrist and forearms during his long days at work. He'd never understood how hard being a tattoo artist was on the body until he met Sasuke.
"Hey, is that new?" Shikamaru asked.
"Huh?" Sasuke asked.
"That moon on your wrist."
"I have a matching one!" Naruto interrupted before Sasuke could speak, reaching over him to show Shikamaru the sun on his wrist.
Shikamaru immediately looked over at Sasuke.
"Damn, you have gone soft."
Sasuke simply shrugged.
"I like physical reminders of things that have changed me."
Sasuke was so honest when he was like this. He finished stretching his left hand, now transitioning to his right. He pulled his hand back, wincing immediately afterward.
"You do something to yourself, babe?" Naruto asked.
Sasuke did have some vocation-specific aches and pains. His right wrist tended to bother him, as he had to hold his tattoo machine upright for hours almost every day. He so rarely complained.
"It's just been cramping up at work."
A specific area between his shoulder and the start of Sasuke's neck also tended to get sore. Naruto always remembered the spot when he rubbed Sasuke's back, because it was right on the tip of one of the brilliant red, orange, and yellow feathers tattooed on Sasuke's shoulder. It was likely from craning his neck downward so often.
The scar tissue on his left shoulder bothered Sasuke from time to time as well. Sasuke never said as much, but Naruto could tell by the way the muscles on Sasuke's back reacted when he rubbed it. He'd almost lean into him, but Naruto noticed that other times he'd flinch if Naruto touched it without warning.
"You should ask me for hand rubs," Naruto said.
"I will some time. It has to be-"
Sasuke continued to stretch his neck as if he hadn't just been speaking.
"It has to be what?" Naruto asked.
"Huh?" Sasuke replied, confused.
Shikamaru laughed harder than he had all night.
"Oh god, is it happening again?" Sasuke asked, rolling his eyes.
"Yup," Shikamaru said with a nod.
"Goddammit," Sasuke huffed, a hint of laughter in his tone.
"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Naruto asked.
"When Sasuke's stoned, he keeps forgetting what he's about to say mid-sentence. He could be faded off his ass and hide it if not for that," Shikamaru said, snickering. "It's his tell."
When Naruto started laughing, he couldn't stop. It was honestly so endearing. He could tell that whatever they were smoking was strong as hell, even stronger than the brownie. While Sasuke had barely touched the brownie, he smoked twice what Naruto did. It was more than enough for Sasuke to catch up to him.
"It's not that funny," Sasuke sighed.
And it wasn't, really. But Naruto just couldn't stop laughing. It flowed out of him and overpowered him.
"So you admit it's funny?" Shikamaru said.
"I admit to nothing, which is what anyone should do in this state, really."
Sasuke took a long gulp of water.
"But that's no fun, is it?" Naruto asked.
"Maybe not for you," Sasuke replied.
They were silent for several seconds.
"I like it, by the way," Shikamaru said, pointing to his neck.
Sasuke raised his brows, soon after processing that Shikamaru was referring to the raven freshly tattooed on his neck.
"Oh, right," he said. "Thanks."
Naruto still hadn't gotten used to it. When he woke up next to Sasuke, sometimes the sight of it still surprised him.
"His name is Poe," Naruto intercepted.
"Is it in memory of Poe then?" Shikamaru asked, referring to the raven that frequented Sasuke's bedroom windowsill when he was younger.
So, Shikamaru knew Poe as well?
"No. Naruto feels the need to name everything, so I figured Poe would be better than anything he could-"
Sasuke lapsed into silence yet again.
"Uh… Earth to Sasuke?" Naruto asked.
"I did it again, didn't I?" he sighed.
"Yes," Naruto said, laughing, he leaned over and wrapped his arms around Sasuke, shaking him back and forth. "Oh my god, you're so cute."
Sasuke pouted, which made the situation even worse.
"Who gave you the right to be so adorable? Again?" Naruto whined, latching his fingers together in a death grip. "It's not fair! I can't handle it!"
"Stop manhandling me, dumbass!" Sasuke answered.
"Woah! This porcupine has quills!" Naruto said, eyes widened.
He reached forward, ruffling the back of Sasuke's hair.
"Enough with the hair!"
"Fuck you and your hair!" Naruto giggled, standing up now and leaning over Sasuke.
He sat in front of Sasuke now, one knee on each side of his body as he leaned over him. Shikamaru edged toward them just slightly as space opened up between him and Sasuke. Without hesitation, Sasuke jerked Naruto into him by his collar, kissed him, and bit into his lip hard enough that a smidge of blood came to the surface. That was his punishment.
"So, Sasuke is a biter?" Shikamaru asked, shaking his head. "Why does this not surprise me?"
"Tch. I have to find some way to keep him in line, don't I?"
"Mn, it's okay," Naruto said, grinning. "I like it rough."
Generally, he would've never had such a conversation in front of Shikamaru, but Shikamaru was entirely unfazed. He wondered how much Sasuke had told him about his sex life prior to this.
"I'd imagine so, if you want to keep up with this one," he said, gesturing to Sasuke with his thumb.
Naruto nodded emphatically.
"He is an ass destroyer."
Sasuke rolled his eyes but didn't seem put off either. Naruto reached around him, grabbing Sasuke's cup and drinking his water. He spilled just a bit, and it dripped on Sasuke's chest.
"You know, if you want him to destroy your ass right now, I don't mind leaving. I can read a mood."
Naruto did a spit take, water spewing out of his mouth and landing on Sasuke. His face was burning; he must've been a brilliant red. Shikamaru was cracking up now.
"Nasty," Sasuke griped.
"I'm sorry, Snookums!" Naruto replied, offering him some tissues.
So much for the mood. Still, even if Shikamaru left, Lee was in their office, and they had plenty planned for tomorrow.
"Snookums?" Shikamaru asked.
"No."
"You let him call you Snookums?" Shikamaru asked again.
"No, I don't," Sasuke said, wiping his face with the tissues. "But he does it anyway. Would you knock it off already, dumbass?"
Naruto hummed.
"How about this… I stop calling you Snookums all night, but only if you do my dare."
"What's that?" Sasuke inquired hesitantly.
"You and Shika have to kiss for five seconds."
He really only asked this to see them fluster.
"Ugh!" Shikamaru answered without a second's hesitation, as if he'd sniffed curdled milk.
"Fucking disgusting!" Sasuke replied, the weed obviously hitting him harder now.
Mission accomplished.
"Why?" Naruto shrugged. "You're both attractive enough."
"It'd be like if you asked me to kiss Itachi. It feels wrong on every level."
Shikamaru nodded emphatically.
"And if you're so set on your stupid dares, why don't you kiss Shikamaru?"
Naruto hadn't expected Sasuke to turn this around on him. He shouldn't be surprised. He knew Sasuke liked to see him fluster.
"What do I get if I do it?" Naruto asked, regarding Shikamaru now.
"The fuck? Don't I get a say in this?" Shikamaru intercepted.
"You prove that you don't dare people to do things you can't handle yourself."
"Hmm…"
Well, his pride was at stake.
"Okay, I'm down."
"What do I get out of this?" Shikamaru asked.
"I'll go to your house next time we meet up," Sasuke answered quickly.
"Sounds fair."
It would save Shikamaru the thirty-minute transport between their apartments. Was that really all it took? Whatever the case, Naruto was left with no choice now. He stood, walked a couple steps, and fell back onto the sofa, between Sasuke and Shikamaru. He faced Shikamaru. He'd never been so close to Shikamaru's face before. The small beard on Shikamaru's chin was surprisingly well-groomed given the laziness of its owner.
"So, what do we-" Shikamaru began.
"On three!" Naruto said.
His blood was pumping now, adrenaline coursing through his body. He couldn't meet Shikamaru's eyes without laughing.
"Three-"
"Wait," Shikamaru interrupted, flinching away from Naruto. "The hell? Don't start with three when you say 'on three'!"
"Oh, right," Naruto said, scratching the back of his neck with a sheepish laugh. "Sorry, I was thinking of a countdown. Countdowns are cooler than normal counting, you know? Reminds me of a rocket launch or some-"
"So, are we doing a countdown then?" Shikamaru interrupted with a sigh.
"Yeah. Three, two, one, kiss, okay?"
"Got it," Shikamaru confirmed.
Sasuke was watching them curiously. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. How could he not be curious?
"T minus three, two…"
Naruto swallowed. He couldn't believe he was going to do this.
"One…"
Naruto went in for the kill, Shikamaru's lips twitching against his own. Naruto placed his hand on Shikamaru's cheek, and they opened their mouths. Their tongues brushed together for just seconds as their lips parted.
It was likely a bit more than what Sasuke expected, who sat there with a dumbfounded expression on his face. He would've done a better job of hiding it if he were sober. It was absolutely hilarious to Naruto.
"That's it," Shikamaru said, pointing at Sasuke. "That was Sasuke's 'oh shit' face when we were kids."
He wished he could've known Sasuke when he was young. From what he'd heard, he was probably adorable.
"Oh my god, so cute!" Naruto said, turning to Sasuke and giving him a massive hug.
He was laughing so hard that it was difficult to breathe. It wouldn't be a bad way to go.
"Get off of me, dumbass," Sasuke griped, resisting Naruto's advances.
Naruto stuck his tongue out at Sasuke, turning to face Shikamaru.
"You're not a bad kisser, Shika!"
"You know, that was my first time ever kissing a guy."
"Really?" Naruto asked. "How'd you like it?"
"I expected it to feel strange, but it was pretty much the same as kissing a girl."
Naruto now sat between Sasuke and Shikamaru.
"So, did I manage to turn you?" Naruto asked, winking.
Shikamaru simply shrugged.
"There's only one person I've ever been interested in. That's all I know."
"Ooh!" Naruto said, a devilish glint in his eye. "Who's that?"
"Her name's Temari. She was in high school with Sasuke and me, and we've been friends ever since."
"So you guys have known each other…"
"Almost twenty years."
Naruto's eyes widened.
"Holy fuck. So are you guys together, or…"
"No," Shikamaru replied. "She knows how I feel, but neither of us has made a move. We don't want it to fuck up our friendship."
Sasuke shook his head.
"It's nauseating, seeing them together."
"Yeah, kind of like you two," Shikamaru countered.
"Dude, if you've only ever been interested in one person in your life, like… Maybe it's worth the risk?"
Shikamaru sighed.
"I don't know. I've never had a relationship before. I'm worried I'd fuck it up."
"You sound a lot like someone else I know," Naruto teased.
"To be honest, seeing how well things worked with you and Sasuke is encouraging. I mean, if even this guy can do it, I'm sure I can too."
"So, does this mean you're finally going for it then?" Sasuke asked. "Or do I have to listen to your pining for another twenty years?"
Shikamaru leaned back into the couch, placing his hand on his forehead.
"That's a question for sober Shika."
"Fair."
They paused for a few seconds.
"Someone once told me that life is too short to spend it afraid of love," Sasuke muttered. "He was right."
Naruto found himself wondering who that person was. He'd ask Sasuke later.
"That's good advice. I'm shocked it came from you."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, asshole."
Shikamaru snickered, losing himself in thought for a moment.
"You may have a point. I'll mull it over."
Sasuke nodded, several seconds comfortably passing. Now feeling bored, Naruto began to tickle Sasuke.
"You know it's futile," Sasuke sighed, not even flinching. "I shouldn't even humor you."
"You know, Sasuke might or might not have…" Shikamaru said, leaning into Naruto and whispering. "A ticklish spot."
No. Fucking. Way.
"No," Sasuke shut down.
"Really?!" Naruto said, his jaw gaping. "I've looked everywhere! Where the hell is it?"
"No," Sasuke restated.
"Hmmm, it's…" Shikamaru said, trailing off. "Hmmm… I don't know whether or not I should tell you now."
That evil ghost of a smile on Shikamaru's lips reminded him much of Sasuke's when he'd mess with him.
"Would it help if I kissed you again?"
"Eh…" Shikamaru shrugged. "Only if it got me out of more time stuck in transit."
"Do you really feel nothing for me, Shikamaru?" Naruto jested, dramatically clutching at his chest.
"Don't get your hopes up," Sasuke said, speaking to Naruto but holding unflinching eye contact with Shikamaru. "He's not going to tell you because he knows what I'd do to him if he did."
"So, there is a ticklish spot!" Naruto said.
Naruto thought his life's ambition was to become a teacher. He could've never been prepared for this greater purpose. If he found Sasuke's ticklish spot, he would die happy.
"Smooth, Sasuke," Shikamaru smirked.
"He's still not going to figure out where it is," Sasuke shrugged.
"Oh," Naruto said, "You are vastly underestimating my persistence."
"Sasuke has a ticklish spot?!" Lee shouted from the office.
The three startled upright at the sudden sound. He was awake?
"Oh my God, Lee!" Naruto shouted. "How long have you been awake?"
He left Sasuke and Shikamaru on the couch, returning to the office. He'd set Lee on the bed earlier with a note explaining the circumstances should he forget the earlier hours of the night. Sure enough, Lee was already up in his wheelchair, fixing his hair in the mirror.
"Just long enough to hear the juicy bits!"
What juicy bits were those, exactly? He'd just referenced kissing Shikamaru a couple minutes ago. Naruto met Lee at the doorway, Lee joined Naruto at the doorway, opening the door for Lee as he left the office.
"Welcome back," Shikamaru said, cocking his head at Lee.
"Okay, so what is this I hear about Sasuke having a ticklish spot?" Lee asked, wheeling a bit closer to the sofa.
Sasuke shook his head.
"Jesus Christ, you too?"
"I just think it'd be really fun to see you laugh!" Lee beamed.
"I'm not stoned enough to give away that dirt," Sasuke said. "And anyone who tries something gets a fist to the jaw, no exceptions."
"Boo, you whore," Naruto said with pursed lips, quoting one of his favorite movies that had come out during his deployment. Naruto stood in front of the couch with his arms crossed, his weight falling onto his right hip. "Are you still high, Lee?"
"Oh dear god, yes."
Lee was nothing if not honest.
"Please tell me you don't have to be anywhere tomorrow morning," Sasuke replied.
"I don't."
"Do me a favor and crash here until you have your wits about you."
"Awww," Naruto said, swinging his shins. "You're so thoughtful sometimes, Snookums."
Sasuke cast Naruto a steely glare before addressing Lee.
"Edibles stay in your body forever. You may still be high tomorrow morning."
"Very possible," Shikamaru agreed.
"I'm so, so sorry I ate that whole brownie. It didn't know it wasn't made for one person!" Lee said, his guilt clearly expressed on his face.
"We know you didn't, Lee," Naruto said. "You're good."
"I just thought… You know..." Lee said, gesturing toward Shikamaru. "This poor guy worked so hard to make brownies for his best friend's birthday party, and people were barely eating them! Sasuke didn't even touch it! I thought it was 'cuz they tasted funny. So I tried to eat one real quick so Shikamaru wouldn't be sad."
Naruto choked on his water as Lee said this, and Sasuke sighed and exhaustedly shook his head. It was somewhat endearing, actually. Shikamaru was silently laughing, shaking his head as he put his hand over his face. It was kind of Lee to think of Shikamaru, however misguided his concern might have been.
"Naruto found me and said, 'Lee, you're not supposed to eat a whole one,'" Lee parroted, his body leaning to the left as he did his best impression of his friend. It actually wasn't half bad.
Naruto burst into laughter, unable to stop now that he'd started. He otherwise would've told Lee that both Sasuke and Shikamaru had witnessed that conversation.
"And then I was like," Lee began again, tilting his body to the right, 'Uh oh. Why not?'"
Lee spoke quickly, leaving little room for a response. Naruto was currently incapable of one, and Shikamaru and Sasuke were lying back.
"And he went," Lee shifted his body back to the left, imitating Naruto, "'Those aren't regular brownies. You're gonna get high now.' And I was like, 'Really?' And he went, 'Yeah, that's how it is.' So I go, 'Oh, okay.'"
Shikamaru chuckled, shaking his head.
"And then I got high. And then I fell asleep in the office, and then I made dinner for everyone."
"Dinner?" Shikamaru asked.
"Yeah, is it ready?"
"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked, tilting his head.
"Dinner. It's in the microwave."
Naruto walked toward the kitchen, Shikamaru and Sasuke watching as they leaned back on the couch. Naruto pulled back the microwave door, revealing what looked to be a towering peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was nuked earlier. It had to be room temperature by now.
"Is that a nine-layer peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" Naruto asked, his eyes wide.
Now that was ingenuity. When did Lee even find the time to do this? He must've gotten out of bed soon after Naruto returned to the party.
"Yes!" Lee said, nodding exuberantly.
Sasuke raised his brows and shook his head.
"Wow," Naruto said. "That's at least eight more layers than I'd expect one to have!"
"Damn," Shikamaru snickered. "That's a stoner dish if I've ever seen one."
Shikamaru was right. Naruto had been guilty of far worse, though. Only Sakura knew the full extent.
"Is it hot enough?" Lee asked.
Any type of heat seemed like too much for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Given that Lee had eaten an entire brownie himself, it was no wonder he was still high.
"I dunno. How hot do you want it?" Naruto asked.
"Like a burger," Lee said. "One peanut butter and jelly burger with no meat, please."
"If a food could be a crime…" Shikamaru muttered.
"Would you like fries with that?" Naruto asked, putting thirty seconds on the microwave. Maybe Lee would actually like this abomination if his taste in food was anything like his taste in perfume.
"We have fries?" Lee asked, his brows scrunching together as he tilted his head. "Fried peanut butter fries?"
What would fried peanut butter look like, anyway? Naruto tried to imagine it as best he could. What would it even taste like? And why did it sound so bad yet so good?
"Sorry, we're out of fries," Sasuke replied. "That'll be $4.20. Please pull forward and pay at the window."
Naruto just had to be swallowing water at the moment. He snorted, unable to stop himself. Even Shikamaru was laughing. Jokes from Sasuke were rare, so they carried an extra punch.
Shikamaru, Naruto, and Sasuke all politely turned down Lee's peanut butter and jelly burger with no meat, as Lee called it every time he referred to it. Lee was more than glad to eat the entirety of his creation. It bordered on disturbing, but at least they wouldn't have to worry about feeding him now.
Minutes became hours, time shrinking and swelling. They laughed and bantered until they were all spent. Shikamaru left just after midnight, and Sasuke retired to the bedroom soon after. Lee, nowhere near sober enough to return to his hotel room, fell asleep on the living room couch. Naruto covered him with a blanket while he slept and joined Sasuke in the bedroom.
They lay on their sides, facing each other. Naruto still couldn't stop smiling.
"You're still pretty buzzed," Sasuke stated.
"Yeah," Naruto said. "You too?"
"Mhm."
Naruto estimated that it would be at least a couple hours until he completely sobered up. He'd probably fall asleep before then.
"You've been wanting to touch me all night, haven't you?" Sasuke said after a few seconds of silence.
Naruto's jaw dropped.
"Was I that obvious?"
"You could hardly keep your eyes off of me," Sasuke replied.
His cheeks were flushing now. Naruto rested his hand on Naruto's injured cheek. Naruto instinctively nuzzled into it. He was still quite horny, actually, but he was also exhausted. It'd been a long day.
"Do you think Shika could tell?"
"He alluded to it directly, remember? 'I can read a mood.'"
Naruto felt his cheeks flush bright red. That's right...
"It's not news to him that you're smitten. Shika isn't an easy person to rattle either. "
Naruto could definitely attest to the latter sentiment. He barely batted an eye when they kissed. As perceptive as Shikamaru was, he supposed it'd be delusional to think he hadn't noticed.
Oh well. Who could blame him? Sasuke was a veritable feast.
"And you're not?" Naruto grinned.
"Call it what you will," Sasuke said, eyes lidded.
Naruto leaned forward, kissing Sasuke close-lipped and holding himself still, their lips pressing against each other's. Maybe he should've waited for a better time, but he wanted to feel closer to Sasuke now. As he felt Sasuke's mouth open, Naruto joined him, their tongues swirling around each other.
Naruto's soft moans and the occasional sound of their tongue studs clacking against each other punctuated the silence. He reached out to hold Sasuke's hand with his dominant arm. Four months were nowhere near enough to override that habit. When he held Sasuke's hand with that arm, he could see the sun and moon on their wrists.
It made his heart flitter for a second. The day his cast was removed, Sasuke tattooed this moon on his arm. He'd only had it there for a few months, and it was still new to him. Despite the fact that his entire back was covered, this was his first tattoo he frequently saw. It made him realize that he wanted more, and that was an itch that no one could scratch like Sasuke did.
About half of his hand had dulled sensation or a tingly pins and needles sensation. A quarter of his hand was numb entirely, but that area was still shrinking. His penmanship was worlds better, and he could shave his face without missing a spot now. He easily felt the chill of Sasuke's fingers against his palm. Their lips parted, their foreheads almost touching as they caught each other's eyes.
"Your hands are cold. Here," Naruto said as he pulled Sasuke's hand underneath his shirt and placed it on his ribs, between Naruto's upper arm and trunk. "I'm super warm here."
Sasuke licked his lips as he rested his hand against Naruto's muscular side. Sasuke wanted to touch more of him. Sasuke closed his eyes and inhaled, shutting his eyes.
"Fuck, what I'd do to you if I had the energy…" Sasuke smirked. "Tomorrow."
As exhausted as he was, Naruto felt like he could bundle his energy together if it meant getting fucked by this gorgeous being lying across from him. Yet tomorrow was definitely worth waiting for.
"Fine," Naruto sighed, burrowing under the covers. "Tomorrow."
