Book 2
Chapter 5
Stacked and Broken Promises
Mars rolled the truck silently into the driveway. She took a deep breath, gathered her things and got out, taking care to shut the door as quiet as possible. Despite being completely ready to walk back to the Stilinski's, the Jeep waited across the street. She smiled to herself. He actually came.
She pulled the handle, but the door didn't budge. He leaned across the passenger's seat and unlocked it… it was the closest he came to acknowledging her presence.
The silence was deafening.
Now, he waited like a warden outside the bathroom door while she brushed her teeth. And when she exited, he escorted her back to her bedroom. Still silent.
She now fully grasped why he hated it so much when she fell back into her role as 'Mars the mute'.
The anxiety of it was retching.
He sat on the floor. She changed into an oversized tee. As she did, she glanced over her shoulder, she looked to him. He stared dead in front of him, not at her as she thought he would be.
"I can sit on the ground." She offered him the seat on the bed.
"It's fine."
God, she'd missed his voice. She shut her eyes and savored those 2 little syllables.
She sat beside him, her hands gripped together to stop her from reaching out for his. "It wasn't what you think."
"Yeah, well, I think it was what I think." He snapped, perhaps a little immature. He still wouldn't look at her.
Mars understood the optics were bad- laughing with Don, the familiarity of it all- but Stiles was over reacting… wasn't he?
She had to know better than that. Stiles had every right to be angry with her.
She scanned his face, searching for an indication this was a facade.
It didn't come.
He sucked in his lips. "Are you back together?"
Mars shook her head, curt and aggressive. Like she'd been waiting for the question.
"Are you going to be?" He licked his lips and stared at his hands. Mars looked down.
"No." She said, soft, returning her eyes to him. "He's a good friend. That's it. Promise"
"You have kind of a track record of breaking promises."
She shut her eyes and inhaled sharply. It was deserved, yes, but it didn't give the blow less force. "I'm- I'm sorry." Her voice was broken and she knew it. It cracked as it did when she went days without using it. He heard it, too. His eyes flicked to her so brief, she almost missed it.
"You're always sorry. Nothing changes."
He dug his metaphorical nails even deeper into her chest, but she was able to hide her difficulty breathing. She didn't know if it was a reaction that he wanted, or if he was merely speaking his mind. She didn't want to make his pain about her. So, she buried her own. "You can't trust him, Mars."
"Did he not just prove that we could tonight?" The words came in his defense before she could stop them.
"How can I be sure? I mean, it's not like I don't know someone with the ability to control guys thoughts and actions." He scoffed, sarcasm dripping from every word. She bit the inside of her cheek, heat rising through her body.
"I wouldn't do that, Stiles."
He gave a wry, vindictive laugh. "You said the same thing to me before. Swore it, actually."
She mulled over his words. He did want a reaction. He was trying to hurt her. It was so rare he got like this, like he had when Scott kissed Lydia. She'd never been on the receiving end of his anger. She wouldn't let herself lash out. All the words she could say danced on the tip of her tongue, but they were not enough. Nothing would ever be enough to atone for her betraying him like she did the night of the dance. Or her lies since.
"You're right." At this admittance, he finally looked to her. "You're right, and sorry isn't ever going to be enough. It won't fix anything. I just- I thought it was the right thing to do and it wasn't." His hard eyes softened, only for a second. Mars wiped her eyes. "Please. Tell me what I can do. Tell me what it's going to take for you to love me again."
It felt like she was suffocating. He cupped her cheek before realizing what he was doing, and as soon as he did it, he took it back. "I can't do this." He stood, reaching out for the door. It didn't escape her that he wouldn't make eye contact. What she didn't know was if it was because he didn't trust her, or because he didn't trust himself.
"Wait. Please." Mars stood too, he hesitated, but kept his hand on the knob. "What you saw… it- it was just about closing a chapter for me and Don. Okay?" Her hands were shaking. It was such a weak thing to say. Even if it was true.
"You can do what you want, Mars. It's not my business."
"But I want it to be your business." She took a step forward and reached out to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and turned back to her.
"I can't keep up! I can't keep up with all these mixed signals. And I am sure as hell not willing to mess this up any more than we already have." He snapped at her, but his face was not angry, it was sorrow filled. She didn't want to look at it. Couldn't look at it, at the pain she was the source of. "Can we just agree to not talk about it and go back to normal until we both eventually forget."
He doesn't love you. The cruelest version of her own voice whispered to her. No one can love a monster. Not even him. Mars wrapped her arms around herself and walked to her bed, laying down and facing the wall. If we leave now, he'll forget all about you.
The floor creaked, pulling Mars back into herself. She realized the door never opened and that Stiles had taken his seat back on the floor. "You don't have to stay." Mars whispered.
"I do, though. Remember? Full moon." She'd nearly forgotten, honestly.
"Oh." She whispered again, not trusting her voice. She moved the covers over for him.
"I can keep watch from here." Mars nodded, pulling the covers back over her shoulders.
"If that's what you want."
"It is."
Minutes passed. Sleep was creeping over her slowly.
"M ray sum, S." Mars whispered an I love you, not thinking he could hear her.
A minute passed before he replied. "S ray sum, M."
She savored the made-up words, her chest light from the relief. She couldn't sleep now if she wanted. And it seemed like he couldn't either, because he asked: "Is it really over? With you and Don?"
"Yes." She assured him. "But he's a good person to have in your corner. I think you could be friends."
"I have all the friends I need." Mars didn't know what she'd expected him to say, but it was a very predictable response.
"Am I still counted in that?" Mars tried her luck.
Stiles gave her a small, half smile. "Always."
