I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, cringe and grammar mistakes.
Chapter 105: SpongeRuby RosePants EP3&4
Let's see, how should I start? Okay. Let's go to Beacon, in team RWBY'S dorm room. Ruby and Yang were giggling about something. "Do you think it's going to work?" Ruby said.
"I don't know, let's try." Yang said.
"What are you two doing again?" Weiss said.
"Uh, a prank call. What else?". She called a pizzeria. "Okay, now everyone shut up."
"Only you're talking." Blake said.
"Hi, this is The Pizza Box, how can I help you?" the employee said. Yang had him on speaker.
"Yeah, hi. Can I get uhh... boneless pizza with a 2L of cola?" she said.
"What kind of pizza?"
"What do you mean? Look, I just want that pizza, boneless."
"Pizzas don't have bones on them."
"What did I just say then?"
"You said that you wanted it boneless, like that it has bones."
"So you put bones in them?"
"No."
"So, where's the problem?"
"Dickhead, name one pizza that has bone in it."
"Just don't put that shit on my pizza! How many do I have to say it?
"Explain to me, how can pizza be fucking boneless?"
"If you don't put bone in it, then it's boneless."
"What school did you go to?"
"Dude, I don't understand the problem. Just make that shit boneless. Deadass."
"Yeah, I'm deadass not making this pizza. Go prank call someone else.". He hung up. The sisters just laughed.
"Man, I didn't expect this to go like in the video."
"You went for the boneless pizza?" Nova said, who suddenly appeared and surprised everyone. "I would've gone with the chicken biscuit."
"Can you stop scaring us like that?!" Weiss said.
"No. Now, something more important. We had a bet. How did it go?"
"Oh. That... well..." Yang said.
"And a small reminder, I know when people lie, so there's no point."
"Well, we didn't have the energy to watch a stream so we had to resort to compilations." Blake said.
"What? Am I the only one that watched the streams?" Ruby said.
"Well, did you find your favourites?" Nova said.
"I'm can't choose between-"
"Not you. You already fell in the hole."
"Oh."
"Well, I watched all of them and I... didn't find any- oh, who am I kidding? Temma is so dreamy! He's like a knight in shining armor! But I wouldn't waste my time watching streams everyday, I have better things to do." Weiss said.
"Okay, you didn't fell. What about you two?" Nova said.
"Well, I didn't find anyone that I liked that much. Except maybe for Izuru. His voice is beautiful." Blake said.
"Or the cat ears on his hoodie." Yang said.
"No."
"Anyway, so far Roberu is my favourite. I mean, he's a bartender, he wants to sit and talk with viewers AND plays videogames."
"So, would you watch their streams all day?" Nova said.
"... No."
"Yeah, no." Blake said.
"Uh huh. It seems that I lost the bet. You were strong enough and didn't fall into the hole of vtubers."
"And that means that you must keep your promise." Yang said.
"Okay. Here's your stand.". He snapped his fingers. And a stand appeared in front of them.
"Wait, what's that? Where's my Stand?"
"Here it is. Your lemonade stand!"
"What?! No! We agreed on giving me a Stand!"
"Yes. But you didn't say what kind."
"That's not fair!"
"You got played there." Blake said.
"You should be more specific." Weiss said.
"Sorry, sis." Ruby said.
"Aw man... but I already found a good name for it. I would've named it [Teen Spirit]. What am I going to do with this now?"
"I don't know. You could blow it up if you want." Nova said.
"Yeah, can you get this out of our dorm? There's no space left." Weiss said.
"Sure.". He snapped his fingers again and it teleported it outside. But in the air. So it fell down and it got destroyed. "Sorry."
"Whatever. Can we just call the others, already? Yang said.
LATER
They all sat down and waited for Nova to start the cartoons.
"So, no Nova Force today?" Jaune said.
"No, we're skipping to the cartoons. Now, enjoy." Nova said.
JELLYFISHING
[Opens in on a bunch of jellyfish and one flying out of the field towards SpongeRuby's block.]
Narrator: Ah, ze early morning in Bikini Bottom, when ze jellyfish are buzzing about and making zeir jellyfish jelly.
"Jellyfish make jelly?" Ruby said.
"No. They're the jelly." Nova said.
"I wonder how it tastes." Nora said.
"Probably salty, sour and painful for humans."
[A jellyfish flies by SpongeRuby's house. Just then a giant periscope comes out of the porthole.]
Narrator: Oh, what is happening here? [SpongeRuby is looking through the periscope from inside, Nora waits behind her.] Collectors?
"So, they're both jellyfish... hunters?" Pyrrha said.
[SpongeRuby nods to Nora. They both run super seriously.]
"You're taking it a little too seriously." Blake said.
[They approach two vents and go down in them, with Nora having some difficulty at first. The two approach ropes and slide down them. At the bottom, they encounter a case of rope burn and jump around frantically.]
They laughed a little.
[They blow their hands to remove the burn. Once the burn is gone, the two get serious again and approach a closet. It houses three sets of poles and three sets of nets. SpongeRuby and Nora take one of each, connect them and test their mobility. SpongeRuby puts on her glasses and the two seriously step out ready for action.]
"I'm pretty sure they're going to ruin it somehow." Yang said.
[A jellyfish flies by and the two joyfully sing and follow it]
Half of them facepalmed.
SpongeRuby: [off-screen] I think I've got it! No... wait a minute... [we hear jellyfish stings and SpongeRuby and Nora screaming. The two run back the way they came, being chased by the jellyfish. They fall into a heap in front of Weiss's house. The jellyfish stings both of their backsides and flies off.]
"You're both useless. You can't even catch a small jellyfish." Weiss said.
"Also, I'm pretty sure jellyfish don't sting with electricity." Ren said.
"That's something I don't see everyday." Nora said.
"What?"
"Me being hurt by electricity."
"Huh... That is strange." Jaune said.
[Just then, Weiss comes out of his house with her bike.]
Weiss: Hm.
"Not surprised at all." Weiss said.
SpongeRuby: Hey, Weiss, we're jellyfishing.
Weiss: Of course you are. Bye now. [walks off]
SpongeRuby: Wait! We made a net especially for you! [holds it up] Do you want to come with us?
Weiss: [sarcastically] Really? Jellyfishing with you guys? Oh, that would be the best day ever in my book! I would love to go jellyfishing! I can't think of anything I'd like to do more on my day off than go jellyfishing with my two best friends: SpongeRuby and... uh...
Nora: Nora.
Weiss: Right. But I can't. Bye bye.
"And I thought that Blake was the sarcastic one." Yang said.
"To be honest, I don't think I can reach that level of sarcasm." Blake said.
SpongeRuby: Next time?
Weiss: Oh sure, right! Whatever. [bikes away; under breath] Like that'll ever happen.
SpongeRuby: You know, Nora? It always seems like Weiss never has time for fun.
"Gee, I wonder why?" Weiss said.
Nora: Maybe she doesn't like us.
SpongeRuby: No, are you kidding? We're her best friends.
"Who's the dumb one again?" Yang said.
[Weiss bikes down a path, chuckling to herself]
Weiss: Jellyfishing. [as she laughs, her ponytail bounces.] Oh, I'll go. [laughs] I sure had them going. [laughs]
Some of them laughed.
"I don't laugh like that!" Weiss said.
"Who cares? It's funny." Nova said.
"I just like how her ponytail bounces." Pyrrha said while still giggling.
[But, she doesn't see a jellyfish which is going in the opposite direction. She keeps on laughing. The scenes go back and forth, until the jellyfish ends up swimming in Weiss's mouth. She spits it out]
"Well, what did you expect? You shouldn't have your eyes closed." Ruby said.
"Wow, really? Thanks, I didn't know." Weiss said.
"Do you want to be the sarcastic one? I don't mind." Blake said.
"Quiet."
Weiss: Stupid jellyfish! Beat it! [She hits it, and the jellyfish goes up her shirt and starts zapping her, causing Weiss to veer out of control. Her tentacles get tangled on the pedals and she trips on a rock. She bounces down a hill and then falls down a jagged rocky cliff. She reaches the bottom of the cliff and immediately an atomic explosion appears.] Ow...
They all laughed.
"She just exploded!" Yang said while laughing.
"The writers are geniuses!" Jaune said.
[Cut to SpongeRuby sitting at her house. She looks out the window. But, no one is there. She sits down again. She notices a photo of her and an unhappy Weiss that reads, "Friends."]
"Aww, you're so happy together." Nora said.
[She puts it down and looks out the window again. Weiss, who's in a wheelchair and all bandaged up rolls down the path.]
They all started laughing again.
"Stop laughing!" Weiss said, while laughing.
SpongeRuby: Weiss's back! [She phones Nora, which causes the screen to split diagonally, revealing Nora on the bottom]
Nora: Yello?
SpongeRuby: Hey, Nora, Weiss's home! And we're gonna make sure she's greeted by her two best friends!
Nora: Oh, great! Who are they? [it's revealed that the two are phoning each other from across the room, just with different wallpapers]
SpongeRuby: Us! [the two hang up] Let's go!
"What was the point of that?" Blake said.
"But then again, it's really nice of us." Ruby said.
"Yeah. She's lucky we're so blind to see reality." Nora said.
[Weiss wheels herself into her house. The lights suddenly turn on, and party horns can be heard. SpongeRuby and Nora are inside his house with a banner that says "Welcome Home"]
SpongeRuby: Welcome home, Weiss!
Nora: Merry Christmas!
"This is a great start." Weiss sais.
"At least she has the spirit." Jaune said.
SpongeRuby: We're gonna make this your best day ever! [Weiss turns around and wheels out.]
"Yeah, just go." Yang said.
[SpongeRuby rolls her back in]
SpongeRuby: Well, your best day's sure not gonna be out there. [SpongeRuby wheels Weiss to a table where Nora stands by a bowl of soup]
Nora: How about some soup on your best day ever? [Weiss looks at the soup and sees condensed Alphabet Soup letters spelling out, "Best Day Ever".]
"Fricking alphabet soup." Yang said and started laughing.
"What better than food with a message?" Nora said.
[Nora holds up a spoon]
Nora: Here we go! [She scoops some up, but Weisss makes some grunting noises in refusal] Oh, it's a little hot. [She blows on the spoon, sending steaming hot soup splashing all over Weiss's bandaged face. Nora notices her spoon is empty and refills it to blow on, covering Weiss in more hot soup.]
They couldn't stop laughing.
"This must be torture." Jaune said.
[This continues for three times until SpongeRuby pulls the soup bowl away and laughs nervously]
SpongeRuby: I don't think soup is the best thing for her on her best day ever. [walks near a music stand and Weiss's clarinet] How about some music on your best day ever? Played on your very own clarinet. [She blows into it, but wind comes out causing Weiss to groan] Sorry, my lips are a little dry. [She wets her lips exaggeratedly loooong and weeeeet.]
"That's just gross." Weiss said.
[Just when she prepares to blow, a disgusted Nora snatches the clarinet away]
Nora: Music isn't best either!
SpongeRuby: But what is best is what we saved for last. The one sure-fire thing to make your best day ever the best day ever!
"Is it jellyfishing?" Ruby said.
[cut to SpongeRuby, Nora and Weiss in Jellyfish Fields. SpongeRuby and Nora hold nets]
SpongeRuby and Nora: [chanting] Jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing!
"Your day couldn't get any worse." Yang said.
SpongeRuby: This is Jellyfish Fields, where wild jellyfish roam just waiting to be captured. [Weiss rides away, but SpongeRuby catches her]
"Run while you can." Blake said.
SpongeRuby: No, no, Weiss! Over here! I know you're eager, but you don't even have your net. Nora, fix her up while I find her a good specimen.
Nora: Firmly grasp it in your hand. [She places the pole end on Weiss's bandaged hand, but it falls because she can't grab, Nora picks it up] Firmly grasp it. [She does it again and the results are the same.]
"In the end you're gonna pierce my hand, or tentacle, or whatever." Weiss said.
[Nora gets frustrated]
Nora: FIRMLY GRASP IT! [she forcefully jabs the net through Weiss's bandaged hand. Weiss lets out a muffled pained scream] That oughta do it.
They all laughed.
"What did I do to deserve this?"
[SpongeRuby spots a jellyfish]
SpongeRuby: There's one in position. Ready... set... go! [the two yell out words of encouragement to Weiss and jump up and down, but Weiss isn't budging. The two eventually notice Weiss isn't going anywhere. They again encourage her, but still nothing happens.]
Nora: I think we gotta show him how it's done. [in the tune of "The Beautiful Blue Danube," SpongeRuby and Nora dance along next to the jellyfish and try to catch it.]
"This is sooo cringe." Blake said.
[SpongeRuby and Nora sing, and even the jellyfish hums out some music. After several attempts, they get into a big fight with stinging and such.]
"Okay, you officially suck at this." Weiss said.
"At least we're having fun and that's all that matters." Ruby said.
[The jellyfish escapes the squabbles and swims by Weiss and stings her on the nose. Weiss, mad, goes after the jellyfish.]
"Oh my gosh, she's doing it!" Nora said.
"It was about time." Yang said.
[SpongeRuby and Nora, still getting stung by jellyfish, notice]
SpongeRuby: Hey, look! Weiss's doing it! [as Weiss chases, SpongeRuby and Nora cheer her on. Her wheelchair is stopped by a rock, but she eventually gets back on track. The jellyfish lands on a pink "rock" and Weiss catches it.]
"She did it! She caught one!" Ruby said.
[She laughs triumphantly, but muffled due to the bandages and whacks the net against the "rock".]
"You would act like that." Yang said.
"No, I wouldn't!" Weiss said.
"Yeah, you totally would." Blake said.
"Uhh, that doesn't look like a rock." Jaune said.
[The "rock" surfaces, revealing to be a really huge jellyfish-the Queen Jellyfish. She now floats above Weiss. Weiss gulps. SpongeRuby and Nora look on.]
"That thing's huuuuge!" Nora said.
"I won't survive this, will I?" Weiss said.
Nora: This girl's good.
SpongeRuby: She's a natural!
[SpongeRuby and Nora start simultaneously cheering Weiss on as she tries to get away from the Queen Jellyfish.]
Nora: Yeah, you got it, Weiss!
SpongeRuby: Yeah, you're doing great! Go, Weiss, go!
Nora: Yeah, you're doing it, Weiss! See what you've been missing?!
SpongeRuby: Yeah, you got, Weiss!
Nora: You got what you wanted, Weiss! You can go that distance! Use that net!
SpongeRuby: Be the net!
Nora: Yeah! You're feeling it, Weiss! That's it, all the way! The last 6 miles, make that, Weiss! Go, go, go!
SpongeRuby: Yeah, go by the eye of the tiger, by the eye of the tiger, by the eye of the tiger! Better, better, better! Yeah, yeah, yeah! You've got it now!
Nora: It's in the bag!
SpongeRuby: This is really your best day ever, isn't it?
[The Queen Jellyfish gives Weiss an extremely powerful sting. SpongeRuby and Nora stop cheering.]
Everyone winced. Mostly Weiss.
Both: Oooh...
[Cut to the next day where SpongeRuby and Nora walking in front of Weiss's place covered in bandages.]
SpongeRuby: Hey, Nora. Well... [sighs] Thought yesterday went... [hesitates] pretty well, don't you think?
Nora: I had fun.
SpongeRuby: Me too.
"And Weiss probably had the most." Yang said.
[some whirring is heard in the background]
Nora: Here comes Weiss!
SpongeRuby: Oh, great. [Weiss approaches in a stretcher]
They all laughed.
"I'm surprised she's still alive after that!" Pyrrha said while laughing.
"It's not funny!" Weiss said, also laughing.
SpongeRuby: Hey, Weiss! How about that... [Weiss rolls down the front walk in a wheeled medical bed with a container of life-saving fluid and in a full body cast.] ...best day ever?
Nora: There's always tomorrow! [Weiss's bed bangs on the door, trying to get in]
SpongeRuby Um, we're really sorry about what happened yesterday, Weiss. [She bangs the door again] Um, we got you a present! [it's the jellyfish that caused Weiss to encounter the Queen Jellyfish in a jar] It's the jellyfish. [Weiss scowls]
"Can I have a happy ending?"
Nora: You know, from yesterday!
SpongeRuby: You're not still mad, are you? [Weiss opens the jar in SpongeRuby and Nora's direction]
Nora: Yup, she's still mad. [The jellyfish chases after SpongeRuby and Nora and stings them repeatedly as they run into the distance.]
"Well that was satisfying."
[Weiss laughs to herself, her ponytail bouncing again. The Queen Jellyfish returns and zaps her again.]
"You can't be serious." Blake said.
[Now she's burnt to a crisp. The cast cracks off in pieces, leaving a completely blackened Weiss.]
Weiss: Ow.
"Sorry." Ruby said.
"Whatever. Show the next one." Weiss said.
PLANKTON!
"Plankton? That was his first appearance?" Ruby said.
[View of the Krusty Krab]
Weiss: [from inside] One Krabby Patty for table two. SpongeRuby, I don't have the whole day. [cut to inside of the kitchen]
SpongeRuby: [speaking in French accent] Oui, oui. Un Krabby Patty, mademoiselle. First, les patty. [flips it up in the air and it falls into one of her holes. She holds up the other ingredients.]
"Huh?"
Weiss: Come on, SpongeRuby!
SpongeRuby: Next, les ingredients. [throws them in the air] Ah, oui! [She catches them in her holes and her pants]
"People eat that?!" Weiss said.
"It's going to take a long time 'til I eat a burger again." Jaune said.
"How is this place not shut down yet?" Blake said.
"Still, it's kinda impressive." Nora said.
SpongeRuby: Les mustard. [She squirts some mustard out and it lands in her eye]
"How did that not hurt me?" Ruby said.
Weiss: Les quit fooling around, where's my Krabby Patty?
SpongeRuby: Les hold on a second! [SpongeRuby takes her head and shakes it all up. When she puts it back on her body, her eyes roll around]
"... I give up, that's it." Weiss said.
SpongeRuby: And voila! [She goes up to Weiss and pulls a Krabby Patty from under her ponytail; speaking in normal voice] It's under your ponytail! [Laughs and puts it on a plate. Weiss pretends to laugh]
Weiss: You're killing me, SpongeRuby! Ha ha ha... you really are.
"Why haven't I quit this job yet?"
[Close-up on the patty]
SpongeRuby: Look at it, Weiss. Mr. Krabs' gift to all of Bikini Bottom - the Krabby Patty...
"I won't lie, it looks tasty." Yang said.
"Especially with the scent of Ruby's insides." Blake said.
"Pretty funny."
Weiss: Okay, give it to me. [The Krabby Patty flies off of the plate and starts bouncing all over the place] Come on SpongeRuby, stop it!
SpongeRuby: I swear I'm not doing anything. Mr. Krabs! The Krabby Patty is haunted! [The patty slithers out the door and heads for the exit. Mr. Krabs spears it with his leg. A tiny thing comes out from it and Krabs inspects it with a magnifying glass.]
Mr. Krabs: Avast, ye patty pirate! This is no ghost. This is... [view of in the magnifying glass, of a tiny jelly bean-shaped green creature with one eye] Plankton! Stealing me booty!
Yang started laughing like crazy.
"Stealing me booty!" she said while laughing. Everyone was waiting for her to calm down.
"Are you done?" Weiss said.
"*sigh* Yeah, I'm done."
Plankton: Hear me, Krabs! When I discover your formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business! I went to college! [Krabs picks up the puny pest] Hey! Let me go!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'll let you go, squirt. On a flying saucer! [laughs. He splats Plankton on a plate and spins him back across the street, to the Chum Bucket] Back to the Chum Bucket with you!
Plankton: You'll pay for this, Krabs! [slams through the doors]
SpongeRuby: Uh... Plankton, sir?
Mr. Krabs: Aye, he's been trying to steal me secret formula for years, but you haven't got it yet, have ye, bug? [laughs. SpongeRuby joins in, braying with laughter. Krabs stops, but SpongeRuby keeps laughing]
"Ugh, why do I laugh like that?" Ruby said.
"It's not even funny. Just... annoying." Jaune said.
Mr. Krabs: Okay. [SpongeRuby keeps laughing] Enough, lass, it wasn't that funny. [SpongeRuby keeps laughing] Get back to work! [SpongeRuby stops laughing.]
[Cut to nighttime at the Krusty Krab]
SpongeRuby: [from inside] Okay, Mr. Krabs, see you tomorrow!
Mr. Krabs: Good night, me girl! [SpongeRuby walks out and walks past the Chum Bucket contently.]
Plankton: [unseen] Psst... young lady. [SpongeRuby looks around to see where this voice came from]
"Uhh... stranger danger?" Ruby said.
Plankton: Yes, over here. Come on, girl, a little closer. [SpongeRuby walks forward] Closer... [SpongeRuby walks] Not that close! [a crunching sound is heard. SpongeRuby lifts up his shoe revealing a squished Plankton] You blasted barnacle head! I mean... hi.
They laughed a little.
[SpongeRuby peels Plankton off her shoe and onto her hand]
SpongeRuby: Plankton? What do you want?
Plankton: I just want to talk. You could say we're friends, right?
"I don't even know you."
SpongeRuby: Um... no.
Plankton: Acquaintances?
SpongeRuby: No.
Plankton: Well, we're both invertebrates, aren't we?
SpongeRuby: I... guess so.
Plankton: You see? Everything works out. I have something for you. I've been keeping it in my secret compartment.
"His cock!" Nora said, making half of them laugh.
"Stop making this weird!"
Plankton: [rummages through his back pocket and takes out a golden spatula] Ching! [in unison with the sparkling of the spatula] Sparkle, sparkle.
SpongeRuby: Wow! A golden spatula! And it's even got my name on it.
Plankton: It's a gift! A gift from a friend. [hugs SpongeRuby's thumb] Friends give each other gifts, and tomorrow is my birthday. [puts a birthday hat on his head and SpongeRuby's thumb and then blows a noisemaker. He then takes out a cake] And you know what I'd like more than anything in the whole wide world? [blows out the candles].
"Coochie?" Yang said.
"STOP!"
SpongeRuby: A booster seat? [Plankton takes off the hat and throws out the cake]
Plankton: Booster seat? Hot dog! I mean, no. What I want for my birthday from you, my friend, is one of those [starts to drool] tender... delicious... Krabby Patties! [SpongeRuby drops Plankton and gasps]
SpongeRuby: You just want to be friends so you can get your hands on a Krabby Patty! And I bet it's not even your birthday tomorrow!
Plankton: Gee, and I thought you were stupid.
SpongeRuby: You'll never get a Krabby Patty from me! [walks off, then stops] Even if we are friends! [runs off] Never, never, never, never!
Plankton: Oh, I'll get a Krabby Patty and you're gonna hand-deliver it to me personally! You weak-minded fool! [takes out a gramophone that plays evil music and laughs evilly to it.]
"So evil! He has his own evil song!" Nora said.
[Cut to SpongeRuby's bedroom, where SpongeRuby goes to sleep]
SpongeRuby: Good night, Blake.
Blake: Meow.
"Oh, no, I forgot I was the snail..." Blake said.
"We haven't seen you in an episode for a while." Pyrrha said.
"And I was fine with that."
[SpongeRuby goes to sleep. Just then, one of the flowers on SpongeRuby's bed pattern pops up. It's Plankton in disguise, wearing a backpack that looks more like an antenna-like machine.]
Plankton: [chuckling] SpongeRuby, you will be mine! [pulls out the record player and laughs evilly to it, but it actually plays a children's song of the A-B-C's.]
Woman in the recording: Letters of the alphabet, A-B-C...
They laughed a little.
[Plankton immediately realizes this and flips the record around on the other side. It plays the evil music like last time and he laughs.]
"Why is a kid's song on the same record as an evil song?" Ren said.
"And where did he get a... what's-its-name that small?" Nora said.
"Phonogram." Weiss said.
"That thing. I want one!"
[Then he walks through one of SpongeRuby's holes and begins his journey.(That sounds a little weird.) Plankton reads a map that looks like a regular road map, except with a giant brain in the middle of it.]
Plankton: It should be in here... but where? [pan out to reveal he's standing on the brain] Where? Oh... [takes off the antenna thing on his back] This will be the beginning of the end! [outside, SpongeBob rolls to her left in her sleep. The brain falls to the right inside and Plankton falls off] Ouch! Stupid brain...
"It just rolls around? What if it gets out of her head?" Pyrrha said.
"We wouldn't see the difference." Weiss said.
"Hey!" Ruby said.
Plankton: [gives chase] Come back here, you swine! [SpongeRuby then rolls to her right. Inside, the brain squishes Plankton. SpongeRuby then sleeps on her back and the brain stops rolling. Plankton holds up a roll of duct tape] That's it, brain, you're going down! [Plankton uses tape to hold it down] Yes, yes, that's grand.
"He came prepared for everything." Yang said.
Plankton: [takes out blueprints] And now, for my very elaborate and college-educated plan. [the blueprints reveal a picture of the antenna thing labeled "Control" and an arrow pointing to a picture of a brain labeled "Brain."]
"I'm sure I wouldn't come up with that." Nora said.
[Plankton follows these instructions by jamming the control in the brain] And now, it's time for a little wakey-uppy. [his hands on the control levers, he uses his foot to press the "Total Control" button. Outside, SpongeRuby wakes up]
SpongeRuby: Morning already? [Plankton jams the controls causing SpongeRubh's legs to jam out to her side. She rumbles and falls down. Plankton laughs evilly] I... I feel a little funny today. [using the controls, he makes SpongeRuby walk. Plankton laughs]
Plankton: I have you now! [outside, SpongeRuby keeps walking towards the kitchen]
SpongeRuby: Time for a well-balanced breakfast. [She rams through the wall and through her refrigerator, emerging with bread, a bottle of milk, and an egg carton on her head] This isn't what I had in mind. [She walks towards the straps with herclothes attached] Let me just grab my clothes. [She walks toward them and they spring her. She eventually gives free and keeps walking] I guess I'm not wearing any pants today.
"And you were sleeping with your shoes." Weiss said.
SpongeRuby: [she crashes through the side of the wall] I guess I'm not using the door either. See you later, Blake! ...I guess.
Blake: Meow.
SpongeRuby: You're right, Blake! There is something wrong with me!
"She can understand her?" Ren said.
"Yep." Nova said.
SpongeRuby: Weiss! Weiss! Wake up! I need some help! [inside Weiss's house, she tries to sleep. Off-screen] Weiss! Help!
"Why me?" Weiss said.
"Obviously you're so friendly with her and you'd be glad to help her." Yang said.
Weiss: Be quiet, SpongeRuby! [SpongeRuby bursts through the wall of Weiss's bedroom]
SpongeRuby: Help!
They all laughed.
"Was that really necessary?!" Weiss said.
Weiss: SpongeRuby! What are you doing? I'm talking to you! SpongeRuby. SpongeRuby, are you mad?! [SpongeRuby crashes through the opposite wall. She stops walking and her head turns around 180 degrees]
Plankton: [through SpongeRuby] Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player.
Everyone was surprised by this, with mouths wide-open.
Weiss: Mediocre? [from inside, Plankton speaks through a microphone]
Plankton: You pretentious, little insignificant artist. Your snivelly creations are worth less than a protozoan's waste!
"Holy shit..." Yang said.
"I know It's just a cartoon, but... I think that actually hurt me..." Weiss said.
[SpongeRuby snaps out of it]
SpongeRuby: Something must be wrong with my brain! [SpongeRuby's eyes roll into the back of her head and she sees Plankton. Gasps] Plankton! [Plankton raises his eyebrow] What kind of friend are you?
Plankton: Nonsense. You never liked me, anyway. You wouldn't even come to my birthday party!
"Well, I can't blame him, that was rude." Ruby said.
[from outside]
SpongeRuby: Get out of my head! LEAVE MY BRAIN ALONE!
Plankton: Never! Never! [laughs and SpongeRuby walks out backwards. Weiss turns pale and faints.SpongeRuby crashes through Nora's rock and reemerges with Nora sleeping on her head. SpongeRuby throws her off and she's pinned into the ground, still sleeping.]
They laughed a little.
"And I thought I was a heavy sleeper." Yang said.
Plankton: [SpongeRuby walks toward the Krusty Krab. Inside SpongeRuby] Toot toot! How about a little take-out?
SpongeRuby: No! No, never! [She crashes through it, reemerging with a Krabby Patty. Plankton laughs evilly] You can't fool me, Plankton! You want the Krabby Patty formula! [SpongeRuby walks into the Chum Bucket]
Plankton: You are going to hand-deliver it to me personally!
SpongeRuby: No, NO, NOOOO! [they're inside and walk through a door] There's no one here.
Plankton: Don't remind me.
"Probably because across the street is the competition." Weiss said.
Plankton: Brace yourself, SpongeRuby. This is my lab! [the room he's walked into has a screen with a live-action Labrador Retriever. The dog barks.]
"Aww, he's really cute." Ruby said.
Plankton: [They walk into the next room, a real lab] And this is my laboratory! And did I ever show you my record player? [He pulls it out again and it plays dramatic music. Plankton laughs]
"Okay, this joke got old." Blake said.
SpongeRuby: I must fight! [She mumbles nonsensically, stretches her head out, and bites against the side of the door. Her body keeps trying to walk.]
"Fight back!" Ruby said.
Plankton: No, no, no, no. [He pushes the levers forward, which causes SpongeRuby to lose grip and slam against the wall and wobble over to a giant funnel thing] There, you see how much easier it is when you help, friend? How do you like my analyzer? It tells the ingredients of whatever I put into it. [A robot arm clenching some seaweed comes in and drops it in the giant funnel analyzer. It has zapped and some beeping is heard from the giant computer screen. The screen, then reads what the computer says.]
Karen: Seaweed: 50% Sea, 50% Weed. [a picture of the seaweed appears]
Plankton: Impressed? Now let's reveal that secret formula. [laughs. pulls the lever forward, letting two of SpongeRuby's fingers off the patty. She's holding it with both hands, so one finger from each hand] And this little piggy brought home a Krabby Patty. [two more fingers loose grip] This little piggy will help me drop it in. Any last words, SpongeRuby SecretPants? [SpongeRuby tries to resist, but stops]
SpongeRuby: I just have to say I'm sorry I let Mr. Krabs down. [Her eyes fill up with tears and leak down her cheeks] I let all of Bikini Bottom down. But worst of all, I let you down, [One of her teary eyes twinkle] you delicate little Krabby Patty.
"It's just a burger. You'll just get fired." Weiss said.
"Shhhh!"
Plankton: Mmm...
SpongeRuby: [tearing up even more] With your tasty, juicy, scrumptious, warm, steamy goodness. [inside, Plankton starts to get hungry]
Plankton: Steamy... [a live-action patty gets assembled on screen as SpongeRuby states the ingredients]
"Is he having an orgasm?" Yang said.
SpongeRuby: I'll never forget your 100% all-secret patty, secretly assembled with undersea cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion, all secretly steamed between two fluffy seaweed-sea buns. [inside, Plankton starts to drool excessively]
"You're treating it like a god." Ren said.
Plankton: Yes... yes... YES! [he jumps out of one of SpongeRuby's holes to the patty] COME TO PAPA! [he bounces off the patty and lands in the analyzer] Oh, boy... [he is zapped and the computer reads out the analysis]
Weiss just facepalmed.
"Idiot." she said.
Karen: Plankton: 1% evil, 99% hot gas. [Plankton appears on the screen]
Plankton: Well, this stinks.
SpongeRuby: Well, patty, I guess we can go home now. [walks out]
Plankton: SpongeRuby, that's my Krabby Patty! [SpongeRuby walks out the swivel doors and they go back and forth] Give it back, you porous freak! I COMMAND YOU! MY PATTY! [the doors come to a close] NOOOOOO! I'll settle for some fries!
"That was a... surprising episode." Jaune said.
"Yeah, we learned that Ice Queen has emotions." Yang said.
"Fuck you." Weiss said.
"Okay, next episode." Nova said.
Naughty Nautical Neighbors
Weiss: Wow. Weiss, this is the best soufflé you have ever created. [blows kiss] Congratulations, chef! [gets dressed, takes a shower, gargles, and brushes her teeth. She re-enters the scene in a dress and sits down at the table.]
"All that for soufflé?" Pyrrha said.
[She hears laughter from outside. She ignores it and starts eating. She hears laughter again. She goes to the window and notices that SpongeRuby and Nora are playing with bubbles. SpongeRuby whispers into a bubble and it floats over to Nora and pops.]
SpongeRuby Bubble: Hi, Nora.
[Nora giggles and blushes.]
"Messages through bubbles?" Ren said.
"Aww, that's sweet." Ruby said?
"Why are you so immature?" Weiss said.
[She was about to blow a bubble. She eats the bubble and whispers into another bubble, sending it over to SpongeRuby where it pops.]
Nora Bubble: Hi, SpongeRuby.
[SpongeRuby giggles and Weiss gets annoyed. She notices a liquid coming from her soufflé, pours it into a bowl and starts rapidly stirring the liquid with a fork until it becomes bubbly.]
"What are you planning?" Blake said.
"I bet something hilarious." Yang said.
[Meanwhile, outside, SpongeRuby whispers into another bubble]
SpongeRuby: [whispering into bubble] Nora, you're my best friend in the whole neighborhood.
"Aww, thanks!" Nora said.
[The scene cuts to Weiss's back window as she finishes stirring the liquid, and blows a bubble with it through the fork. Weiss's bubble is approached by SpongeRuby's bubble, grows a leg, and kicks SpongeRubys's bubble, thus popping it. Weiss's bubble floats over to Nora and pops.]
Weiss Bubble: [mimicking SpongeRuby] Nora, you are the dumbest idiot it has ever been my misfortune to know.
Weiss started laughing.
"*gasp* How could you?! And I don't even sound like that!" Ruby said.
"You do." Nova said.
"I don't!"
"You do."
"I don't!"
"You do."
"I don't!"
"You do."
"I don't!"
"You don't."
"I do!"
"You don't."
"I do!"
"You don't."
"I do!"
"You don't."
"I do!"
"Okay, you do."
"Ha! Wait...". They all laughed.
[Nora frowns and blows a bubble, sending it over to SpongeRuby]
Nora Bubble: Do you really think that, SpongeRuby?
SpongeRuby: [whispering into the bubble] Of course, Nora. Anyone with eyes can see that. [the bubble floats over to Patrick and pops, followed by another bubble floating back over to SpongeRuby]
"Oh, they're going to insult each other now?" Yang said.
Nora Bubble: Yeah? Well, I think you're ugly. [another bubble comes over and pops] Red is ugly! [two other bubbles, but smaller, float over and pops, both containing raspberry noises for SpongeRuby]
Some of them laughed a little.
"She won't come back after that."
SpongeRuby: [talks into the bubble, puzzled] Nora, what are you talking about?
[The bubble floats over to Nora. Another bubble of Weiss's bubbles floats over to SpongeRuby and pops]
Weiss Bubble: [mimicking Nora] SpongeRuby, I no longer wish to know you. [SpongeRuby gasps] You give bottom dwellers a bad name.
Weiss started laughing again.
[Weiss creates several other bubbles and they float over to both of them.]
"Are you trying to ruin a friendship?" Pyrrha said.
Weiss Bubble: [mimicking Nora] If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar!
Some of them laughed, but Weiss even more.
[Weiss laughs. Another bubble floats over to Nora]
Weiss Bubble: [mimicking SpongeRuby] Hey, Nora, I heard there was a job opening down at the pet shop... as some newspaper!
She couldn't stop laughing.
"Bruh!" Nora said.
"Ice Queen freezing people for breakfast." Yang said.
"And you ruined it." Blake said.
Nora: [stands up and yells at SpongeRuby] Well, that makes you a big dummy, you dummy!
SpongeRuby: [stands up and yells at Nora] Yeah, well, that means that, uhh... so are you!
Nora: Right, you're a turkey!
"What?" Blake said.
SpongeRuby: What's that? [Weiss arrives outside with a lawn chair and her soufflé]
Nora: It's what you are!
[Weiss begins to eat her soufflé and laughing while watching SpongeRuby and Nora's arguing.]
"Meanwhile I'm just enjoying the show." Weiss said.
SpongeRuby: Well, you're a bigger one!
Nora: Well, you're still red! And you know what else is red?
SpongeRuby: What?
Nora: You are!
"Okay, you must have stolen these insults. They're too good." Yang said.
SpongeRuby: Oh, yeah? Well, it doesn't matter what you call me, 'cause I never wanna see you again anyway! [She goes inside through the back door and turns around] Aww, tartar sauce! [shuts door]
"Oh man, I'm a genius!" Weiss said, now that she relaxed.
"Are you happy? You ruined their friendship." Blake said.
[Nora angrily opens her rock, which closes and comes up sounding like an accordion.]
They all laughed.
Weiss: [Laughs at Nora. Puts the soufflé and fork in her mouth. She continues laughing. But she accidentally swallows the fork and chokes on it. Chokes on the fork repeatedly and her skin turns to a deep shade of blue as the letters "K" and "O" appear in her right eye and left eye respectively and flashes appear. Weiss passes out and drools]
Everyone was shocked.
"Whoa... Karma's a bitch." Yang said.
Nora: Wow, Weiss, you're choking!
"No shit." Blake said.
Nora: [runs over to Weiss] Uhh... uhh, I know what to do, but I should wash my hands first. Oh, well.
"Gross." Ruby said.
"Eh, she can bitch about it after I save her life." Nora said.
Nora: [she takes a deep breath and performs CPR on Weiss. As she is doing this, Weiss starts inflating. And each one of Weiss's tentacles suction cups pops up. Eventually, the fork comes out and Nora catches it] I win!
They all laughed.
Weiss: Wow! Nora, you saved me!
Nora: I did?
Weiss: Yup! You're a real lifesaver, friend! [shakes Nora's hands]
Nora: Friend? [holds Weiss] Friend...
"Hey, you know what that reminds me? 'Did you call me a friend?'" Yang said.
"Huh?" Ruby said.
"Oh, yeah, Penny." Weiss said.
"Exactly." Yang said.
"Nah, she was more like, 'You called me your friend, right?'" Blake said, making an impression. Yang started laughing.
"Come on, girls, don't be like that." Ruby said.
"Do you think she has a syndrome?" Yang said.
"Is there a syndrome that makes you act like a robot?" Weiss said.
"I-it's not funny! You're being mean." Ruby said.
"Ruby, it was just a joke, relax." Yang said.
"I think it must be the one that Zuckerberg has." Nova said.
Weiss: [uneasily] Yeah, Nora, we're friends... [steps back] just friends. [they both notice SpongeRuby is gazing from her window with a blank stare]
Some of them laughed.
Nora: So what are we gonna do tonight, best friend? [walks with Weiss over to the Easter Island head]
Weiss: Well, I was going to practice my clarinet solo.
Nora: Clarinet? I love music!
"Oh, that's a low blow." Nora said.
[inside the pineapple, SpongeRuby watches the two go inside Weiss's house]
SpongeRuby: Ahh, who needs them? They're no fun anyway, right, Blake? [Blake is sleeping inside her shell] Blake? [knocks on her shell]
"Perfectly timed." Yang said.
[cut to Weiss's]
Weiss: Weiss will be performing his version of Solitude in E minor.
Nora: [sitting on a bench while clapping] Yeah! E minor! All right! Yeah! [Weiss takes a deep breath and plays a note, and Nora immediately falls asleep, to the annoyance of Weiss.]
They all laughed.
"That's what boomer music does to you." Nora said.
[Scene cuts to SpongeRuby]
SpongeRuby: Ah, what am I worried about? I got plenty of friends! I can name three right off the bat! [She holds up three fingers] Uhh... [She draws faces on each finger with a broken smile] The gang's all here... [She looks at the faces on his fingers, and his eyes well with tears] Ohhh!
"Is that what you're dressed like a goth queen?" Nova said.
"No!" Ruby said.
[Weiss is dragging Nora, who is still asleep, outside. Suddenly, after a few feet, his back gives out]
Weiss: Ow! Oh! My back! I threw out my back!
"Should I be offended?" Nora said.
"Nah, Weiss is just not strong enough." Yang said.
"I'm next to you, you know." Weiss said.
SpongeRuby: [sees Weiss in pain] Oh, boy, now's my chance! [jumps out of the window]
Weiss: SpongeRuby? No, no, stay back!
SpongeRuby: [running] Don't worry, Weiss! I'm coming!
Weiss: No, no, no, get away from me!
SpongeRuby: Hang on! I'll save you! [rips off her suit revealing a swimsuit underneath]
"Wait, what? What are you doing?!" Pyrrha said.
Weiss: [tries to get to hee door] No, no! Get away from me! No, no!
SpongeRuby: [jumps off a diving board] Hold on!
"You're going to break it!" Weiss said.
Weiss: No, no! Get away! [screams as SpongeRuby dives into her back cracking it back into place] OHHHH! I'm ruined! I'm... I'm... I'm... I-I feel great!
"Really?" Ruby said.
Weiss: Thanks, SpongeRuby! You're a real friend! [SpongeRubynsmiles big]
SpongeRuby: Friend...
"Not her too." Weiss said.
"You should've seen that coming." Ren said.
Weiss: N-no, no, no, I didn't mean that, no-no.
SpongeRuby: Don't worry, Weissy, old gal. That's what friends are for. [Weiss and SpongeRuby walk into the Easter Island head] So dumb Nora fell asleep on ya, huh? Some friend. A real friend would perform for you!
Weiss: You play?
SpongeRuby: Are you kidding? I've been playing bassinet for years! [she takes one from the wall] Give me an A, buddy! [Weiss plays a note and SpongeRuby sings]
Weiss is my best friend in the world. [grates strings with bow]
Weiss is my best friend in the sea...
[The bow flies into what looks like Weiss's head and she screams. Fortunately, it turns out it's just a painting; the real Weiss pulls the bow out and growls as she snaps it in half with her knee]
They all laughed.
SpongeRuby: [now playing with her fingers like a guitar] Weiss...
Nora: [pops in through the window] Likes Nora more than SpongeRuby. [SpongeRuby slams the window in Nora's face] Oh!
They laughed even harder.
SpongeBob: [strums harder before slamming the bass to the floor] And Nora is a DIRTY, STINKY, ROTTEN FRIEND STEALER! [smashes the bass] Umm, I can fix this. [Weiss is steaming red in fury. She kicks SpongeRuby out]
They couldn't stop laughing.
SpongeRuby: ...So, uhh, I'll see you tomorrow, Weiss! Call me!
Squidward: Yech! That was disgusting! I feel like I need to scrub myself. [opens up the curtain and screams after she sees Nora in her tub]
Nora: Hey, buddy. I warmed it up for ya. [shows her a brush and soap]
"Whoa!" Ruby said. Yang immediately covered her eyes.
"Hold on!" Nora said.
"At least her nipples are not drawn in." Pyrrha said.
Weiss: Nora! Get out! And put some clothes on! [SpongeRuby peeks in through the upstairs window]
SpongeRuby: What's the matter, Weiss, old buddy? [notices Nora in the bath-tub] *gasp* Oh, ho-ho! So this is what I find, huh?! My best friend and my ex-best friend and... [shown bath toys] ...rubber bath toys!
"Not rubber bath toys!" Ruby said.
Nora: [simultaneously] Oh, yeah?! Well, she was my friend first!
SpongeRuby: [simultaneously] You're just a backbiting, backstabbing silly blob of...
Weiss: [screams] THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME! [She runs away. SpongeRuby and Nora stop their arguing as they notice Weiss's gone and start looking for her and yelling her name.]
"This has gone too far." Jaune said.
"Even when the hate each other, they still annoy me." Weiss said.
Weiss: [hiding in a trash can] Oh, this is nuts! I need a plan to get those two back together and outta my hair!
SpongeRuby: [In the next scene, she's reading a magazine as the doorbell rings a letter is pushed under the door. Then she smells it] Weiss. [opens it] A dinner party? I'd love to! [SpongeRubybknocks on Weiss's door and Weiss opens it] Did you miss me?
Weiss: Come on in! You look stunning. [shuts door]
SpongeRuby: I'd much rather dine with you than that lousy... [gasps when she sees Nora] Say, what gives?! I'm not sitting near that maniac!
Nora: Me neither! This was a setup!
Weiss: I thought you two were my best friends.
SpongeRuby and Nora: I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND!
Weiss: [takes out a bottle of soda] Well, how about some soda, guys? [SpongeRuby shows her her glass]
SpongeRuby: Yes, please! [Weiss gives her some soda] Thanks, friend. [flicks Weiss's ponytail] [drinks]
Nora: How about some for your best friend? [SpongeRuby puts her glass in front of Nora's, so she gets the soda instead of Nora]
SpongeRuby: Thanks, best friend! [drinks]
"That was a dirty trick." Yang said.
Nora: Can I have some now, buddy?
SpongeRuby: Wait, I need some more! [pours SpongeRuby another glass]
Nora: I still didn't get any! [SpongeRuby gives Nora her soda]
SpongeRuby: There ya go. More please! [Weiss fills her glass as SpongeRuby drinks it really fast]
"It's not water to drink it that fast, it's soda!" Pyrrha said.
Nora: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
SpongeRuby: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
Nora: [shows Weiss her glass] Hey, Weiss!
SpongeRuby: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
Nora: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss! [shows Weiss her glass again, but it's still full] Weiss!
Weiss: Nora! Your glass is full!
Nora: Oh, yeah...
SpongeRuby: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
Nora: [shows Weiss her glass] Hey, Weiss!
SpongeRuby: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
Nora: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
SpongeRuby: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
Nora: [shows Weiss her glass] Hey, Weiss!
SpongeRuby: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
Nora: [shows Weiss her glass] Hey, Weiss!
SpongeRuby: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
Nora: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
SpongeRuby: [shows Weiss her glass] Weiss!
Nora: [shows Weiss her glass] Hey, Weiss!
SpongeRuby and Nora: [both show Weiss their glasses] Weiss!
Weiss: [The girls became extremely fat] Sorry, girls, I'm all out of pop.
They were laughing all that time.
"You are both unbelievable." Blake said.
"That's why people love us." Nora said.
Weiss: I'm gonna go get some more. [walks away] Why don't you just stay here and chat? [closes door. SpongeRuby and Nora. They are trying not to look at each other. Then SpongeRuby hiccups and a bubble floats up and pops that sounds like a burp. Both of them laugh and the entire house is full of bubbles as Weiss walks up to her door with a grocery bag.]
"Why is the house inflating?" Jaune said.
"It's gonna blow up!" Ruby said.
Weiss: [Then an explosion and crashing sounds are heard] I should just walk away right now. [opens door to find her house destroyed] What a surprise... I invited them in, and I left them alone. Well, Weiss, what have we learned today? [pieces around the door break]
"That I should've given them alcohol instead of cola." Weiss said.
"That would be hilarious." Yang said.
"It's for the better not to." Ren said.
"Come on, I'm not that bad with alcohol." Nora said.
"You almost burned down an entire forest."
"Really?!" Jaune said.
"We were lucky that I put out the fire before it would spread."
SpongeRuby: Guess what, Weiss? [both hug]
Nora: Me and SpongeRuby are friends again!
"Yay, happy ending!" Ruby said.
Weiss: Great, now go be friends somewhere else.
SpongeRuby: Don't you want us to help you clean this up a little?
Weiss: NOOO! OUT! [both walk out]
SpongeRuby: Psst, I think she's jealous.
Nora: How pathetic.
[Weiss shuts door hard and when she turns around as a bubble comes and pops on the door which causes the door to fall on her back]
Weiss: Ohhhhh, my back.
Some of them laughed.
"Oh, come on!" Weiss said.
"Okay, next one!" Nova said.
Boating School
[SpongeRuby's foghorn alarm goes off]
SpongeRuby: This is it, Blake!
Blake: Meow. [SpongeRuby's bed bounces up and flings SpongeRuby onto the calendar, where she lands on March 3rd with the words "boating exam today!" on it then drops to the floor]
SpongeRuby: The big boating exam is today! I've never felt so CAPABLEEEEEEEEE! [A door opens from underneath her.]
"Boating exam?" Pyrrha said.
"Driving exam." Nova said.
SpongeRuby: [She comes out of her house riding a unicycle] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. Weiss! Weiss!
"A unicycle?" Ruby said.
Weiss: What?
SpongeRuby: I'm ready, Weiss! [SpongeRuby rides her unicycle around Weiss's house]
Weiss: Ready to move?
SpongeRuby: No, I'm ready to pass my boating test. [Rides her unicycle towards the school] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready... [stops her unicycle near a dumpster and jumps off of it] I'm ready-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-ready. Well, pal, I won't be needing you anymore. [throws the unicycle into the dumpster] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! Oh, yeah! I'm ready!
"That's not a reason to throw your unicycle in the trash." Jaune said.
Gus: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! Hey, I just got my license!
SpongeRuby: [snaps fingers] Hey, I'm getting mine next!
Gus: [snaps fingers] Hey, I doubt it! [walks off]
Some of them laughed.
"I remember when I got my motorcycle license. It was trickier than a car but I got it." Yang said.
"Trickier? Remember when dad tried to prepare you? You were like, Shut up, dad, I'm trying to! Let me just do it!" Ruby said.
"Imagine how it's gonna be with you."
SpongeRuby: Okay, see you on the road. I'm ready! Here I come, Mrs. Puff! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. [jumps around the boardwalk. Camera goes inside the school, as a female pufferfish looks out the window and sees SpongeRuby jumping around.]
Mrs. Puff: [sighs] I'm not ready. [opens the door]
"Something tells me that you failed before. Multiple times." Weiss said.
SpongeRuby: Hi, Mrs. Puff! Today is the day I'm going to pass my boating exam!
Mrs. Puff: [with clipboard and pen in hand] We'll see about that, SpongeRuby. First we must...
SpongeRuby: First I must pass the oral exam. I am confident in my abilities to successfully succeed.
Mrs. Puff: I know. Okay, #1: What is the front of the boat?
SpongeRuby: The bow. [Mrs. Puff writes down her answer]
Mrs. Puff: What is the back?
SpongeRuby: Stern. [Mrs. Puff writes down her answer]
Mrs. Puff: #3: Right is...
SpongeRuby: Starboard. [answers the remaining questions] Port. Skipper. Deck. Cabin. Galley. Keel. 1924. [Mrs. Puff writes down her answers]
Mrs. Puff: You've passed the oral test. What a surprise.
"If you were like that with classes."
"Hey, I'm doing okay! I get a B. That's okay." Ruby said.
"And that's what angers me."
Mrs. Puff: [gets in the boat and secures herself tightly] Now it's time to once again take the driving portion of the exam. Okay, SpongeRuby. Get in the boat.
SpongeRuby: Oh, in this boat? Right here? [looks at her watch] Is it time already?
Mrs. Puff: Get in the boat, SpongeRuby.
SpongeRuby: Oh yeah, absolutely. [gets in and closes eyes with a smile]
Mrs. Puff: All you have to do is get on the track.
[SpongeRuby's eyes spring open in awe; he looks ahead to the track that gets longer and longer in delusion]
"For someone who's taken the test multiple times, you think that she wouldn't be afraid." Pyrrha said.
Mrs. Puff: Okay, SpongeRuby, what's the first thing you do?
SpongeRuby: 1924...?
Mrs. Puff: No, no. First thing is to start the boat. [Mrs. Puff turns the engine on and SpongeRuby goes crazy] SpongeRuby? SpongeRuby? Relax, it's only the boat.
SpongeRuby: The boat?!
Mrs. Puff: Okay, now what do you do next?
SpongeRuby: Floor it?
"Floor it?" Blake said.
Mrs. Puff: Yes... no, no! Don't floor it.
SpongeRuby: Floor it?!
Mrs. Puff: No, no, don't, don't floor it!
SpongeRuby: Okay, floor it!
Mrs. Puff: No! NO! NOOOO! [SpongeRuby pushes the accelerator down and starts driving backwards really fast by some spectators and drives into a lighthouse. After crashing, Mrs. Puff inflates and becomes big and round with a deep voice] Oh, SpongeRuby, why?
Fred: My leg! My leg!
They all laughed.
"My leg!" Nora repeated.
"You failed miserably." Weiss said.
"Why were there spectators?" Yang said.
SpongeRuby: [in his bed at night] I don't know why, Blake. I don't know. I'm tired of failing that boating test. I've already taken it thirty-seven times.
"37?!" Pyrrha said.
Blake: Meow.
SpongeRuby: Okay, thirty-eight. [puts her pillow on her head]
Blake: [puts on boots] Meow.
SpongeRuby: No, Blake, I'm not walking.
"I mean... you could take a bus." Jaune said.
Nora: [over walkie-talkie in SpongeRuby's bed] SpongeRuby, this is star ranger, over.
SpongeRuby: [through walkie-talkie] What is it, Nora?
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] I got a surprise for you.
SpongeRuby: [through walkie-talkie] Oh, Patrick, I'm not in the mood.
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] Get out of bed. [SpongeRuby gets out of bed]
SpongeRuby: [through walkie-talkie] Okay, now what, Nora?
Patrick: [through walkie-talkie] Go to your closet for a surprise.
"I already don't like the surprise." Yang said.
[SpongeRuby slides down a room and stands up in front of her closet door]
"Nice library." Blake said.
"Why is your closet in your library?" Pyrrha said.
SpongeRuby: [through walkie-talkie] Okay, I'm at the closet.
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] Listen carefully. What's pink and and wears your clothes at the same time?
SpongeRuby: [through walkie-talkie] I don't know, Nora. [SpongeRuby opens the closet door and Nora has SpongeRuby's clothes on]
Nora: NoraRosePants!
Everyone facepalmed.
"Go to the corner. Five minutes. Now." Nova said.
"Okay..." Nora said. She went to a corner and sat down sadly.
SpongeRuby: [deadpan] Nora, don't do that. [sits in a chair] I've got too much to worry about.
Nora: What's the problem?
SpongeRuby: I can't pass my boating exam. I've taken it thirty-seven...
Blake: Meow.
SpongeRuby: ...uhh, thirty-eight times.
"And I still can't believe that number." Pyrrha said.
SpongeRuby: I know all the answers... [Nora's pants rip off] ...until I get behind the wheel. I just need something to help me think straight.
"Fatty." Yang said.
"I heard that!" Nora said.
"Corner!" Nova said.
"Aww..."
Nora: Thinking straight is what I do. You drive and I'll do all the thinking for you. [takes SpongeRuby's walkie-talkie]
SpongeRuby: How are we going to do that? [Nora puts a walkie-talkie into SpongeRuby's head with the antenna coming out of the top]
Nora: Come in, SpongeRuby. Hello? Hello?
SpongeRuby: Hey! I can hear you in my head! This is great! While I'm taking the test, you can give me all the answers.
"But that's cheating." Ruby said.
"Besides, everyone will see that big-ass antenna." Yang said.
SpongeRuby: [SpongeRuby notices the antenna sticking out] Wait a minute, Nora. Won't I look silly with this antenna coming out of my head? [Nora puts a tall hat over the antenna.]
"Not because it's cheating?" Jaune said.
"I don't think she realises." Blake said.
[Next, we see a big telescope peeking out SpongeRuby's upstairs window]
Nota: [through walkie-talkie] Nora to Sponge, Nora to Sponge, testing, testing. [looking through the telescope at SpongeRuby] Testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing [loudly] TESTING! [screams] TEST! DO YOU READ?!
Some of them laughed.
"Can I return now? Please?" Nora said.
"Okay, fine." Nova said. Nora happily gets up and sits with the rest.
SpongeRuby: Sponge to Nora, I read you loud and clear, over.
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] Got your apple ready? [SpongeRuby shows an apple] Lucky undergarments? Hold on. Hold on. [Nora focuses in on the underwear with the telescope to reveal the word lucky on the top of it]Bingo!
"She's ready for everything now." Yang said.
Nora: Underwear, apple, and me. You're ready to get that license. Uh-oh, here comes Mrs. Puff! Act natural. [SpongeRuby jumps out of the boat and on the ground on all fours and starts chewing grass like a cow]
They all laughed.
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] No, no, get in the boat! [SpongeRuby jumps in the boat. A siren is heard as Mrs. Puff comes out an ambulance and into the boat] Give her the apple. [SpongeRuby gives her the apple]
SpongeRuby: Here you go, ma'am. [Mrs. Puff eats the apple in one go.]
Mrs. Puff: Let's get this over with. [takes a deep breath] What's the first thing you do? [puts hands and arms over head for protection]
SpongeRuby: Uhh...
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] Start the boat. [SpongeRuby pushes a button that starts the boat causing Mrs. Puff to go crazy]
They laughed a little.
"It must've been a big surprise." Yang said.
SpongeRuby: Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff!
Mrs. Puff: Whoa-ho! Huh? What?
SpongeRuby: It's okay, it's only the boat.
Mrs. Puff: The boat? You started the boat?
SpongeRuby: I... I think so.
Mrs. Puff: Oh. Well... what's the second thing you do?
SpongeRuby: 1924?
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] No, no, put it in drive.
SpongeRuby: Put it in drive?
Mrs. Puff: Yes, yes, yes! [SpongeRuby pushes lever down to drive] Put it in drive. Then what?
SpongeRuby: [lifts leg up] Floor it?
Mrs. Puff: No! [screams] NOOOOOOO!
"Yes!"
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] Freeze, missy! [SpongeRuby stops] Big toe. [SpongeRuby's big toe pops out of her shoe and gently pushes the accelerator down]
"I'm doing it... I'm doing it!" Ruby said.
Mrs. Puff: Oh, gracious. Oh, gracious! Oh-oh. Ha-ha! Ah, we haven't crashed yet.
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] Okay, you're coming to your first turn. [giant wall with the word wall on it is shown and a left curve]
Mrs. Puff: Oh no, the first turn. Please, tell me you know what to do at the first turn!
"... You turn." Weiss said, confused.
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] Left! [SpongeRuby turns left]
Mrs. Puff: Oh!
Nora: [through walkie-talkie] Right! [SpongeRuby turns right]
Mrs. Puff: Oh! Oh my, this is splendid, SpongeRuby. You're doing fine.
[Montage time! SpongeRuby stops at a stop sign and looks both ways before starting to drive again. Then drives around with his left arm out making a signal. Nora still talking to SpongeRuby through the walkie-talkie as SpongeRuby drives over a big hill in the road. As Mrs. Puff writes a couple things on her clipboard, Nora is putting on SpongeRuby's clothes again.]
"Why do you want to wear my clothes?!" Ruby said.
"Don't ask me!" Nora said.
[SpongeRuby pulls back on the boat and the boat jumps in the air over a big anchor. Nora finds SpongeRuby's diary and begins to read and laugh at it as SpongeRuby jumps off a ramp through a ring of fire.]
"Uhh..." Pyrrha could say.
"Don't bother asking. It's better when you don't think about it." Blake said.
[Fred is walking across the course but SpongeRuby stops the boat and helps him walk across. She gets back in the boat as Nora is eating out of SpongeRuby's fridge. SpongeRuby is sitting back and driving with her feet and driving upside down.]
Mrs. Puff: Splendid! Wonderful! [sign that reads finish line is just ahead] There's the finish line.
"One step closer from getting my licence!" Ruby said.
"Which you don't deserve because you're cheating!" Weiss said.
Mrs. Puff: It's unbelievable. You've shown the most spectacular improvement of any student I've ever seen. What's your secret? A little radio in your head? [everyone laughs] Oh, and under that hat is some kind of, uhh, antenna? [everyone laughs] And some guy miles away from here is giving you all the answers? [everyone laughs] Oh, yes, but that would be cheating. [SpongeRuby opens her eyes wide realizing she is cheating]
Nora: CHEATING! [laughing hysterically]
"So she didn't know that it's considered cheating." Jaune said.
"That was obvious." Ren said.
SpongeRuby: I'm cheating?! Mrs Puff!
Mrs. Puff: Yes, my star pupil?
SpongeRuby: I think I'm cheating.
Mrs. Puff: What's that, dear? [SpongeRuby takes a hold of Mrs. Puff]
SpongeBob: I think I am cheating!
"Your hands on the wheel." Yang sais.
Mrs. Puff: You've... you've let go of the wheel.
SpongeRuby: I do have an antenna under my hat! [shows antennae under hat] THERE IS SOMEONE GIVING ME ALL THE ANSWERS! IT'S TRUE! [crying] I'm cheating! I'm cheating! I'm cheating!
Nora: What?! [Nora runs out of SpongeRuby's house and back under her rock, crying]
Some of them laughed.
"Not even I knew!" Nora said.
SpongeRuby: I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff! I'm sorry!
Mrs. Puff: [panicking] The wheel, SpongeRuby! The wheel...
SpongeRuby: Cheating... I'm a cheater! Cheater... [The car goes offroad before crossing the finish line]
Mrs. Puff: No, no, no! It's quite alright! You can cheat that way!
"You can cheat that way?!" Weiss said.
"Tell me that if you had a student that always fails, you wouldn't do anything to get rid of him." Blake said.
"I see your point..."
SpongeRuby: No... I'm cheating...!
Mrs. Puff: At least, SpongeRuby...
SpongeRuby: Cheating!
Mrs. Puff: Cheat that way!
SpongeRuby: I'm a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater!
Mrs. Puff: It's okay to cheat today!
SpongeRuby: No...!
Mrs. Puff: That way! Cheat that way!
SpongeRuby: CHEATEEEEEER...! [crashes off screen into the lighthouse again, Mrs. Puff inflates again]
Mrs. Puff: [deep voice] Oh, SpongeRuby, why?
SpongeRuby: Mrs. Puff, I think I cheated.
Fred: My leg!
Some of them laughed.
"I love that gag." Nora said.
SpongeRuby: Uhh, I'm sorry for letting you down again, Mrs. Puff.
Mrs. Puff: It's okay, SpongeRuby, you didn't mean it. Okay, boys, take me away. [EMTs shove Mrs. Puff into the ambulance]
SpongeRuby: Don't worry, Mrs. Puff. I'll try harder next semester. [Mrs. Puff cries as she is taken away by the ambulance]
They all laughed.
"Can't wait to see that." Yang said.
SpongeRuby: It'll be great! [walks away] Only now I don't even have my bike.
Blake: [with SpongeRuby's bike] Meow.
"*gasp* You can ride unicycles?! You're the best pet ever!" Nora said.
"Nora!" Ren said.
"What? Oh...". She saw Blake who seemed really angry. "Blake, I'm-"
"It's okay... Excuse me for a bit." Blake said. She got up and left the dorm. Everyone else then heard a scream and a loud thump. A small crack on the wall appeared. Blake entered the dorm again. They all noticed her hand bleeding. She sat down again.
"Uhh..." Yang said.
"Don't talk."
"Okay."
SpongeRuby: Blake! My bike! You found it! This sponge is still mobile! [rides away on her bike with Blake on her head] Alright, let's go surprise someone at the hospital!
"Are you trying to give her a heart attack?" Weiss said.
"Okay, let's leave SpongeBob for now and go to Disney before we have more episodes." Nova said.
"That would be for the best." Blake said.
And done! Like, follow, leave a review and not a request, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!
