PART 4
THE DAY OF THE WEDDING
1. Int. Maya and Jay´s Apartment. Morning.
Maya is on the phone with Katie. She looks worried.
Maya:
He didn´t come home last night and his phone is either turned off or out of power. I´m really worried about him.
2. Int. Katie´s Bedroom. Morning.
Katie is in bed, almost naked with covers over her.
Katie:
He´ll get in contact with you, as soon as he can.
Maya (voice over):
We´re getting married in six hours! He´d better do it soon!
Katie:
Panicking isn´t gonna help. We´ll figure this out.
Maya (voice over):
Can you come over?
We see Tiny, only wearing boxer shorts come in. Him and Katie smile at each other.
Katie:
I´ll be there as soon as I can.
Maya (voice over):
Great! Bye!
Katie:
Bye.
She hangs up and puts her phone away. Tiny gets on top of her and they start kissing.
Tiny:
You´re not in that much of a hurry, are you?
Katie:
I can always say, that I just missed the train.
They go back to kissing.
3. Ext. Lake. Morning.
Jay is trying to get a signal, to no avail.
Jay:
This can´t be happening on my wedding day!
We see Zig wiping his eyes and trying to clear his head.
Zig:
Sorry, bro. It´s happening.
Jay looks frustrated.
OPENING CREDITS
4. Ext. Lake. Morning.
We´re back with Zig and Jay.
Zig:
How did we end up out here?
Jay:
You don´t remember?
Zig:
Jay, I was hammered last night. Refresh my memory.
Jay shakes his head at how he got himself into this mess.
5. Montage - Music "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba
We start on Jay coming out from Above the Dot the night before and run right into a drunk Zig. Zig makes a drinking motion with his hand and Jay is up for it.
We see the two of them at a bar, where Jay is drinking heavily to try to catch up with Zig. They do the old "Hand to your nose with your eyes closed" check to see when they´re drunk enough. Zig is first to reach the mark and by the time Jay is there, he can barely lift his arms anymore.
We then see them during the happy and energetic phase, where they´re dancing and trying their best not to fall over their own feet.
We see Zig waiting in a taxi with a cab driver, who would clearly rather be rid of them. Jay comes in with two fishing rods and tells the driver to hit it.
We see the driver drive off and they´ve been dropped off at the lake.
We finally see Jay trying to set up a fishing rod, but he´s too drunk to. Zig is fast asleep and Jay soon gives up too.
6. Ext. Lake. Morning.
We´re back with Zig and Jay.
Zig:
I remember it, now that you told me. What now?
Jay:
That´s what I´d like to know!
Zig:
I´m pretty sure the main road is that way.
Jay:
I think you´re right. Let´s get a move on.
They head toward the main road.
7. Int. Maya and Jay´s Apartment. Morning.
Lola is trying to calm Maya, who´s on the verge of hyperventilating, down.
Lola:
Sweetie, it´s gonna be okay.
Maya:
He sounded like it was over. What if he doesn´t show up?
Lola:
Then I´ll get a shotgun and drag him there. We´ll have a good old fashioned "Shotgun Wedding"!
Her joke cheers Maya up a little.
Maya:
I don´t know what I would do without him. Every time these past five years, where I´ve felt down or like I didn´t have any control over my life, he´s been there for me. In a situation like this, he´s the one I´d turn to. I´m lost without him.
Lola:
He´ll come back to you. How could he not? He loves you.
Maya:
Not to mention our guests for the wedding, that might not happen! What am I gonna say to them?
Lola:
You can´t think that way. Keep thinking positive thoughts or about something worse, that could happen to you. Like being sent back to jail!
Maya:
How would that help?
Lola:
It makes this seem less bad in comparison, doesn´t it?
We hear the front door being opened and Katie comes in.
Maya:
Hi, Katie. Thanks for coming.
Katie:
Don´t mention it. What do we have here?
Lola:
Major crisis.
Maya:
I couldn´t have said it better!
Maya sulks.
8. Ext. Parking Lot. Day.
Zig and Jay reach a small parking lot for hunters, where three cars are parked.
Zig:
We could see if any of these people are nearby. Maybe we´ll get lucky and they´ll give us a ride.
Jay:
If we don´t get shot first! I don´t feel like rumbling through the bushes, when there´s people with fingers on triggers roaming around, looking for something to shoot!
Zig:
Do you want to get to the wedding or not?
Jay:
Maybe we can steal one of them.
Zig:
Stealing cars isn´t as easy, as it used to be.
Jay shoots him a look.
Zig:
Or so I´m told.
Jay:
By who? Friends, who steal cars?
Zig:
I´ve bragged about stealing them, but I´ve never actually done it. Do you know how?
Jay:
I used to, but that was before the invention of smart cars. The only way we´re driving out of here in one of these babies is with a key.
Zig:
It is morally wrong. Then again, I´m sure they can fit into two cars. What´s the plan?
Jay tries to come up with something.
9. Ext. Forest. Day.
Two hunters, Johnny DiMarco and Bruce the Moose come walking through the forest. Jay and Zig watch them from afar.
Jay:
Those two look REAL dumb! This should be easy. I just need to rely on my pickpocketing skills. They´re a bit rusty, but I can pull it off.
Zig:
We get them talking and then what?
Jay:
Make sure that their attention is on you, so they won´t notice.
Zig:
You´re the boss, I suppose!
They walk over towards Bruce and Johnny.
We cut to Bruce and Johnny.
Bruce:
I was thinking of getting into cock fighting.
Johnny:
I don´t think there´s much money in it these days, Brucey.
Bruce:
There´s those Japanese Battle Fish. I could get people to pay to see them fight.
Johnny:
Bruce, that´s from an episode of "The Simpsons". They´re not real! Why do all your plans involve people paying you to see something fight against something else?
Bruce:
I don´t know. That´s just the first thing that comes to mind!
Johnny:
You really haven´t changed much, have you?
Bruce:
Why fix something, that´s never been broken?
Johnny shakes his head at him. They´re startled by Jay and Zig and Bruce instinctively points his rifle at Jay and Zig, who put their hands up.
Jay:
We come in peace!
Johnny:
Lower it, Bruce!
Bruce does and they calm down.
Johnny:
Are you two dumbasses trying to get yourself shot?
Zig:
We came out here to go fishing ...
Bruce:
Dressed like that?
Jay:
The decision was made under the influence of a LOT of alcohol!
Johnny and Bruce nod in understanding.
Zig:
We just need to find our way back to the main road and we can get a ride from there. Can you point us in the right direction?
Johnny:
Yeah, It´s that way!
He points in one of the directions and Zig pretends not to get it. Jay slyly stand next to Bruce and lets his hand slip down his back pack.
Zig:
Are you sure, because I think, we´ve already been that way?
Johnny:
I guarantee you, that you haven´t!
Zig:
Show me again.
Johnny:
Look, see that path up there?
Zig:
Ahh, that one?
Johnny:
No, that one! What kind of an idiot are you?
Zig:
A hungover one.
Johnny and Bruce nod in understanding. Jay is having trouble finding the hey, but at least Bruce hasn´t noticed. He gets lucky and finds it. He then quickly sneaks it down his pocket.
Jay:
Zig, he means the other one.
Zig:
Oh, that one! Thanks a lot, guys.
Johnny:
You´re welcome. You Jabroni´s should get out of here, before you get yourself shot.
Jay:
We´ll keep that in mind.
Jay and Zig leave them.
Bruce:
What a pair of morons!
Johnny:
They say that there´s one born every minute, Brucey. Sometimes, I think it´s more than that.
Bruce:
Screw all that! Let´s shoot something!
Johnny:
That is what we´re here for, isn´t it?
Bruce:
What´s with the answering with a question thing?
Johnny:
It´s called a retorical ... just forget about it! Let´s shoot something.
Bruce:
LET´S SHOOT SOMETHING!
Bruce yelling has just scared everything away. Johnny looks ready to give up on him, but knows that he´ll never be able to. Bruce is just Bruce, take it or leave it.
10. Ext. Parking Lot. Day.
Zig and Jay come back to the parking lot.
Jay:
Let´s see what we´re getting.
He tries the key and the lights on one of the cars flickers.
Jay:
Yes!
Zig:
You´re still gonna marry her?
Jay:
I only wanted her to feel bad, so she wouldn´t do anything like it again.
Zig:
Yeah, me too. I can look at it this way. Who would benefit from me cutting her out of my life? No one. Would I be worse off, if she wasn´t in my life? Yes. Is there a better chance that I will get to see my son, if I stay friends with her? Absolutely! All signs point to "Forgive Maya".
Jay:
Same here.
Jay looks at his phone.
Jay:
We have a little under two hours.
Zig:
I think this is what the Blues Brothers called "Time to hit it"!
Jay:
You´re driving.
He throws the key to Zig. They smile at each other and get in the car.
11. Ext. Church. Day.
People are waiting outside the church to get in. Among them is Katie and Tiny. Katie sneaks her way into holding Tony´s hand.
Katie:
You don´t mind, do you?
Tiny:
Not if you don´t.
Katie:
If you want yesterday to be a one time thing, I understand. I´m not expecting anything.
Tiny:
I´m not the kind of guy, who jumps in bed with any girl I meet, Katie. I wouldn´t have done it, if I didn´t have a feeling, that we could become more.
Katie practically radiates with joy.
Tiny:
Do you see Zig here? I didn´t think, he´d actually boycott the wedding.
Katie:
He´s not the only one, who isn´t here.
Tiny:
Jay? Isn´t it time, he got a move on?
Katie:
You don´t need to tell me! Maya must be on the verge on panic!
She looks sure of it.
12. Int. Back Room. Day.
Maya is looking defiant. Lola isn´t buying it.
Maya:
Who´s he to stand me up on our wedding day? He should be thanking his lucky starts every day of the week, that he found me!
Lola:
He could still get here on time. We don´t know where he is.
Maya:
If he doesn´t get here on time, then I can tell you where he´s going! Straight to hell, after I tear his throat out! What I did was wrong, but it was a human mistake made in a tough situation. What he´s doing is mean!
Lola:
You don´t know, if he´s doing anything! He could be trying his best to get here.
Maya:
Stop defending him! Didn´t you switch to girls, because you didn´t like guys anymore?
Lola:
Not really. It was just that I didn´t find them attractive.
Maya:
Then pretend and do some hating with me!
Lola:
Down with all men!
She tries to look like she means it, but it´s easy to see through her.
13. Int. Car. Day.
Jay is trying to call Maya, but his phone runs of of power the second he tries to ring her up.
Jay:
Great! My phone is dead.
Zig:
I don´t have a clue where mine is. I must have dropped it somewhere.
The engine beging to sputter a little and Jay looks worried.
Jay:
Don´t tell me ...
Zig:
We´re in luck. There´s a gas station up ahead.
Jay:
Let´s hope this baby makes it all the way! Say it with me Zig! You can do it! You can do it!
Zig/Jay:
You can do it! You can do it!
They look confident, that the car will make it that far.
14. Ext. Gas Station. Day.
We see them pushing the car up to one of the stands. They catch their breaths, when they get it in position.
Jay:
Not even close!
Zig:
Why did it have to be uphill the entire way?
Jay:
At least we got it here!
Zig:
We´re both gonna smell like crap at that wedding!
Jay:
Put some gas on it and I´ll see, if they have a phone.
Zig does as he´s told and Jay heads inside.
15. Int. Gas Station. Day.
Jay comes up to the counter, where an elderly man is sitting on a chair and watching TV,
Jay:
Hi. Is there a phone here, I can use? I need to call my fiancee. We´re getting married today.
Man:
What are you doing here then?
Jay:
That´s a long story. Do you have a phone?
Man:
Sorry. I never bring it here.
Jay:
I know what you mean. My old boss was a hard-ass when it comes to "personal calls on company time" or whatever they call it.
Man:
Where are you headed?
Jay:
Toronto. The church on Gordon Street.
The old man smiles to himself.
Man:
Gordon Street. I once knew a girl, who lived on Gordon Street, A long time ago, when I was a young man. Not a day passes, where I don´t think of her and the promise I made to her, that I will always keep. That one perfect day on Gordon Street.
Jay can see that the old man is getting emotional and is about to cry, when his grand-son (Derek from season 5 to 8) comes in from the back room.
Derek:
Grand-dad, what did say about telling that story to the customers? You´ll have to excuse him, he´s a bit senile.
Jay:
It was beautiful!
Derek:
It should be. It was written by an Oscar winning screen-writer.
Jay looks confused.
Derek:
It´s from the movie "The Graduate" and they re-used it in "Wayne´s World 2". That´s probably where he remember it from. He imagines, that things he´s seen happen in movies happened to himself.
Man:
Would you like to know about my time as agent 007? I got tons of tail back then! It was very dangerous work, though. One time, I had to go half-way to the moon to take down a super villain!
Jay:
I´ll take your word for it! Do you have a phone, I can use?
Derek:
Yeah. You can use mine.
He hands the phone to Jay.
Jay:
Please pick up, Maya!
He´s looking anxious.
16. Int. Church Back Room. Day.
Maya is in her wedding dress, having her make-up done by Lola and is ready to get married, except for her groom being missing. She hears her phone ring and looks hopeful.
Lola:
Don´t move. I´ll get it.
She picks the phone up and looks at it.
Lola:
Unknown number.
Maya:
It´s probably someone trying to sell me something.
Lola:
Do you feel like hearing about their amazing offer for you, that´s sure to turn out to be less than amazing?
Maya:
I´ll pass! Let it ring itself out, or they´ll know I have it with me and try again later.
Lola puts the phone away.
17. Int. Gas Station. Day.
Jay hands the phone back to the son.
Jay:
She´s probably busy. I gotta go. Thanks and good luck with your grand-dad.
Derek:
You´re welcome.
Jay leaves them.
Man:
Derek, have I told you about the time, me and my rebel friends blew up the Death Star? Or should I say "Death Stars"?
Derek just shakes his head to himself.
18. Int. Church. Day.
All the guest are seated and ready for the marriage to start. Tristan and Tori are entertaining them.
Tristan:
Who´s on second.
Tori:
What?
Tristan:
No, what is on 3rd!
Tori:
Who?
Tristan:
I already told you. Who is on second.
Tori:
Who´s on first?
Tristan:
No silly! Who´s on second!
Katie has peeked in and comes back out to Maya, who´s waiting with Lola and Katie.
Katie:
If they try to keep that joke up for much longer, we could have a riot on our hands!
Maya:
There´s nothing for it. I´ll have to tell everyone, that I´ve been stood up at the altar.
Lola:
I can´t believe, he would do this to you.
Maya:
I might as well get it over with.
She looks sad, but resolved.
19. Int. Car. Day.
Zig is driving as fast as he can legally.
Jay:
Faster!
Zig:
This damn thing records how fast you drove. I don´t want a speeding ticket on top our Grand Theft Auto charges!
Jay:
I´ll talk to them and pay them off. Run the red light.
Zig:
No!
Jay:
The church is right over there!
Zig pulls up at the red light and stops. Jay opens the passenger door.
Jay:
I´m making a run for it!
Zig:
Good luck.
Jay gets out and slams the door. Zig can see him making his way through crossing traffic to get there as fast as he can.
Zig:
That´s what I call love!
He smiles to himself.
20. Int. Church. Day.
Maya is addressing the crowd, flanked by Lola and Katie.
Maya:
I´m really sorry, but it looks like the wedding is off. Jay is nowhere to be found and ...
They hear a huge ruckus and Jay comes running in.
Jay:
Am I too late?
Maya smiles, as he runs up to her.
Maya:
Just in the nick of time. Where have you been?
Jay:
You wouldn´t believe me, if Zig wasn´t there to witness all of it.
Maya:
Zig? What does he have to do with it?
Jay:
I´ll explain later. Maya, you´re the light of my life and I love you. Can we get married now?
Maya:
Yes, we can!
They kiss to the applause of the crowd.
21. Int. Above The Dot. Evening.
Maya, Jenna and their backing band (consisting of Eddy on lead guitar and Spinner on drums) are on stage finishing up a song.
We cut to Tori, who´s dancing with Zig.
Tori:
I´m glad you showered before the party. I didn´t want o say anything, but you were smelling kind of rank.
Zig:
If we´re gonna be a couple, then you have to get used to being open about these things.
Tori:
Are we a couple now? You live in Calgary, remember?
Zig:
Not for much longer. All of my best friends are here anyway, so why not give it a try? Now that I have you, the last piece of the puzzle has fallen into place.
Tori looks happy and they kiss. Katie and Tiny come dancing over to them. Katie wasn´t lying about how horrible her dance moves are, by the way.
Tiny:
Do we need to tell you two to get a room?
Zig:
We´re celebrating our new relationship and me moving here.
Tiny:
That´s funny. So were we.
The two old friends fist bump.
We cut to the stage, where Maya is ready to introduce the next song.
Maya:
Almost six years ago, I landed at Toronto Airport. When I did, I had no idea what I was coming back to. Life had taken it´s tough twists and turns and part of me felt like, all my dreams were broken and maybe life wasn´t worth living anymore. That I´d messed mine up so bad, that there was no going back and I was destined to stay miserable for however long was left of it. Then something amazing happened. First I found friendships, the likes of which I didn´t think, I would experience again. Then something even better happened and I met Jay. It´s in large part thanks to him that the clouds that seemed to be constantly hanging over me have all evaporated. A long time ago I sang this song at a bar called Tarrello´s on a night, where I had no way of knowing, if it would be my last night of freedom. So on that night I belted it out, like it was the last time, I would ever get to sing it. Tonight I sing it knowing, that the worst is behind me and whatever the future holds, I know I can get through it, because of the love that my life has been filled with. The song is about finding the courage to change your life, when it isn´t going the way you want it to. The lyrics in the old version were representative of the old me. These represent me looking to the future.
She starts playing "Change" by Blind Melon.
Maya (singing):
Verse:
I´m feeling the sun coming out today
To shine on me, to help me find the way
And as I stand here at my wedding
I don´t think, that´s ever gonna change
Chorus:
Oh, as the past fades away
They all look at me and say
"Hey, look at her. She´s found happy days"
The reason why, is because I changed
The rest of the band kick in and the song is now really rocking!
Maya (singing):
When I felt life wasn´t worth living
I stood up and took a look around and looked way up to the sky
And when my deepest thoughts were broken
I kept on dreaming, yeah.
Cuz when you stop, you know it´s time to die!
Jenna/Maya (singing):
As we all play parts of tomorrow
Some ways we´ll work and other ways we´ll play
But I know we can´t all stay here forever
Maya (singing)
So I wanna write my words on the face of today.
And then I´ll play, yeah ...
Eddy kicks in with a killer guitar solo. The very last image of the series is Maya smiling and finally at complete peace with herself.
CLOSING CREDITS (WHILE THE MUSIC KEEPS PLAYING)
TO FINISH OFF, THERE´S ONE FINAL ROUND OF EXPLANATION, WITH PLENTY OF OTHER FUN STUFF FOR YOU TO GET STUCK INTO!
