Chapter 180
Laetitia just stared at the person in front of her in horror.
She was a tall figure with colorless white hair. The skin was pale gray. All those combinations with fiery yellow eyes made her look very scary. That, and the sound of the breather on her nose. That sound shook Leah down to her spine. It was exactly like Darth Vader's.
But the most scary thing was that ... she looked exactly like her. No, she was her! Her hair was colorless white and her eyes were burning yellow. But it was her. She could see and feel that the person in front of her was her ... sort of.
"How ...? Who are you?!" Leah demanded, her voice shaking in shock and fear.
"I think I've already answered that." That person simply replied.
"Cut the crap! Who the hell are you?!" She snapped as that person sighed in irritation.
"If you must know, my name is Darth Xela." She simply replied.
Leah took a minute to think. 'Xela' ... In Sith language, that meant 'pain'. Thexan had taught her how to speak that language, much to his disagreement. She figured she might need it some day.
But Darth Xela ... She had never, in her whole life, ever heard of a Sith with that name. Who was she? Why did she look like her? Was she using the Force to make illusions? To rattle Leah, like she was now? Was this another trick from Palpatine or Vader? What was happening?!
"Why are we here? Why are you here?" Leah asked. She wanted to leave as soon as possible. She had a bad feeling about this. She was ... scared.
"So many questions! You keep asking them like I have to answer them." Xela muttered, wining.
"If you're not gonna answer my questions, then I have no reason to be here. Have fun being alone for the eternity." Leah bluffed as she started walking away.
"You have no patience! I thought that was the virtue of a Jedi ... Then again, you are no Jedi." Xela mused to herself to stop her.
Leah turned around in alarm. How did she know that? Just who the hell was she?
"It's a difficult question. You see, right now, in this place, where we are and where we appear to be are two very different things. Take you, for example. You're standing physically in a cave in Dagobah, while I am floating in the Force and in you." She vaguely explained.
"I am here because you are here, Laetitia." She simply said.
Leah grabbed her lightsabers harder in alarm. She had a bad feeling about this ... very, very ... very bad.
"How do you know my name?" She demanded.
"It's easy. I am you."
Leah frowned in confusion. She was completely clueless what she was talking about.
"What?"
"Oh, you don't know? Of course you don't! The Jedi kept me a secret for a reason."
"What are you talking about?"
"I am you ... Or rather a version of you. One that is stronger than you are. One that is not in denial. One that knows the truth." Xela said.
Leah took a step back in numbness. She was sure she was two seconds away from passing out. She wasn't sure if it was because of her pregnancy or just the shock. This was her?! How? Why? Where? When? What? Again, how?!
"How is that possible? I'm not you."
"You're not me, but I am you. Like I said, I am a version of you. I do not exist in this timeline because of someone!" Xela muttered angrily.
Leah frowned in confusion. What the hell was she talking about? Who was that someone?
"I am merely Darth Xela, the most powerful and deadly Sith Lady in the history of the Force. And you are the Hero With No Fear's daughter ... But you're not without fear, are you?" She stated.
"Your fear is stronger than you want anyone to know. The fear of losing ... It haunts you and keeps you up at night. You let go of the people you love, but you're still afraid of losing them. You have visions and dreams of those you love dying right in front of you. You know about it, but you can't do a damn thing about it. Your fear has influenced every decision you have ever made. And that 'Skywalker fear' is what sent you away from your destiny." She said in riddles to taunt her.
"What are you talking about? What's my 'destiny'? Why am I here?!" Leah asked in anger.
"You are here because the Jedi decided it was time for you to know the whole truth."
"Exactly, what are the Jedi hiding?"
"Exactly what you're trying to find."
"Why are they hiding it?" Leah changed the question, hoping to get some answer.
"It's all 'for Laetitia'. It's to protect you, and the people you care about." Xela vaguely answered.
"What the hell ARE you talking about? Why would I need protection? Who are these people you're talking about?!" She shouted in frustration.
"Think about it. Why would you need protection? Who are the people you want to protect the most? Who would do ANYTHING to save you?" She stated.
Leah's mind immediately went to one person. Her father, Anakin Skywalker. She knew a lot of people loved her, but he was the only one would have done anything to protect the people he loved.
To protect her.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Leah frowned as she tried to shrug it off.
"You really don't get it, do you?" Xela asked in irritation. Why was she so stupid?
"See? I know all of it. I know everything about you, Laetitia." She calmly tried to give some answers.
"About Ahsoka. About Thexan. About Luke ... And your daddy!" Her calmness turned into rage.
Why did she hate Anakin so much? What had he done to her?
"I know your strengths. I know your fears. I know how much you love the people around you, how much you're afraid to lose them. But unlike you, I know how to use that love against all of you!" She stated.
"Honestly, when I look at you, I feel like I'm looking at a mirror."
"Not quite." Leah sarcastically muttered.
"Ah, that's right. You don't have the ... scars that I have." Xela said as she chuckled bitterly.
"What happened to you? Didn't your dad tell you about the side effects of the dark side when he seduced you on his side?" Leah asked.
She wanted to know more about her ... herself. Why would she ever turn to the dark side? What did Darth Vader do that made her accept it? She, the Laetitia, could never think fo any reason why she would ever turn to the dark side ... for any reason.
"No, he conveniently left that part out. But he wasn't the one who turned me." She replied, which caused Leah to blink in surprise.
"He wasn't?"
"No. It was my Master, Darth Sidious."
Leah was shocked and mortified to hear that. She didn't accept the dark side because of her father ... but she did for Palpatine?! Was Darth Xela even Laetitia Skywalker? She loathed Sidious to the bone!
"Your Master? Are you really that pathetic?" She spat.
"Well, when you're abandoned by parents and the Jedi, you're bound to follow the next person who says 'hi'. Fortunately or unfortunately for me, that was the Chancellor." Xela said.
Leah frowned in confusion. She was saying nonsense. Was she living in the past? How could she call Palpatine as the Chancellor? Did she not know that he was the Emperor now?
"'Chancellor'? What are you talking about? He hasn't been the Chancellor in 2 decades!"
"That's for you." She calmly said to finally tell her story.
Leah could swear that she was a bit surprised. For a Sith Lord or Lady, she was very calm and focused. She seemed calmer even than Leah, which was more surprising. She was supposed to be the Gray Jedi and Xela the Sith Lord. Why were their personality so different?
"Right before Luke was born, the Jedi Council suddenly received this 'anonymous tip' that Laetitia Naberrie is actually Laetitia Skywalker. Imagine that! Mace Windu, Yoda, Obi-wan. They were all shocked to see that I actually had a father. They didn't want that, of course. They wanted to protect their precious 'Code'." Xela bitterly stated.
Leah knew all about that. The Jedi would want to protect their Code more than they wanted to protect anything. They were willing to do anything to not break it. An hour ago, she ripped Yoda's head with her words about how wrong their Code was. And he apologized for that.
"So they expelled me. Took away my Battalion, and left me out on the street with nothing to have. Even my own 'father' abandoned me the second he found out. He didn't even defend me." She said with disappointed tears in her eyes.
"No, he would have ..." Leah tried to defend her dad, but Xela stopped her.
"He wouldn't have what?! You weren't there! I was in the hallway when he said 'Padme, it's not her destiny to become a Jedi. It's mine'! He said that! He was jealous of ME! HIS OWN DAUGHTER!" Xela shouted in absolute rage.
Leah didn't say anything and just took a moment. It didn't look like Xela was lying. And that was the scary part ... That her father, not Darth Vader, but Anakin Skywalker ... was capable of saying that for any reason.
He should never say that when he knew how much being a Jedi meant to her back then. But she also knew what being a Jedi meant to him. It was enough to basically disown his own daughter, or so Leah believed.
"So I left home. I didn't wanna be with the parents who were jealous of their own kid ... Chancellor Palpatine found me. I was broken and alone. I just wanted the pain to end. so I went with him. He told me who he was, and accepted me. He showed me a way where I could use the Force and have emotions."
"There were other ways." Leah argued. She could have become a Gray Jedi, like this Leah.
"I didn't know that then. But what he really gave me was a chance to get revenge. He gave me a chance to destroy the Jedi who abandoned me. He came to the Temple with me. Together, we wiped out all the Jedi! They were no more." Xela said as she smiled in pure happiness and relief.
"You're a monster." Leah gasped in shock.
She ... wasn't capable of that. She wasn't ... him. She couldn't be that monster. She wasn't the thing she hated. How could she be? How was that possible?
"Oof! Judge-y. Like you're the one to talk." Xela shot back as she gave Leah a look. Whatever that meant.
"Besides, believe it or not, I was just fulfilling my destiny."
"How is it your destiny to kill all the Jedi?"
"We are the 'end', remember?" She simply replied, which left Leah numb and confused.
Was that really her destiny? But what was 'the end'? She kept saying that. What the hell did it mean? What did that have anything to do with Laetitia? She felt like it was important, but she didn't know a thing about any 'end'.
"We'll get to that. Anyway! ... After I killed all the Jedi in the Temple, I tried to find mom. She was the one person in the Galaxy that hadn't betrayed me ... yet."
"'Yet'?" Leah asked.
She knew that Anakin was a bit capable and known for betraying the people he loved, but Padme ... She was nothing like him. She would never betray her. Abandon her. Her mother was the most honorable and kindest person she knew. There was no way that she ...
"'Yet'." Xela repeated.
"When I found her, she was holding her new kid. The perfect kid. She was so happy that she forgot she had a kid before that thing came along."
"What did you do?" She asked when she knew she had done something to them. It was obvious.
"Oh, I killed her. And him. I wanted to keep him as a gift and reminder, but he whined a lot. He was just ... annoying! So I sliced his small weak heart with my lightsaber." Xela coldly said.
"Oh, my God." Leah moaned in horror and shock. She was no longer powerful to stop the tears. It was just too much!
"Oh, come on! After being with the big version for a decade, you can agree that he can be annoying sometimes." She defended herself as if it was something that was debatable.
"Yeah, sometimes! And it's not enough for me to kill my own brother! I love him!" She shouted in shock.
"Don't you get tired? You're always acting like something you're not. Someone you're not. Don't you get tired of yourself? Of acting like a hypocrite?"
"I'm not the one with wrinkles on my face when I'm only 20." Leah shot sarcastically.
"Ouch! And totally true. But that's actually another gift from daddy dearest."
"What do you mean?"
"After he found out what I did to his precious 'Angel' and little kid, he, Obi-wan and Ahsoka tracked me down on Mustafar. I killed Ahsoka immediately with a simple strike, and knocked Obi-wan out eventually. It was just us. We fought, but when the push came, I couldn't kill him. At the end of the day, he was still my father." She quietly said, feeling actually sad.
Leah didn't even hear that. She was still processing the fact that she killed Ahsoka! What the hell kind of monster was that? Her? Herself?! She was confused what to call her! Was that really her? Was she really capable of being a monster like Darth Xela?
"I thought he felt the same way. But he obviously didn't." Xela chuckled wryly as she pointed at her body. It was completely burned and scarred.
"He did that to you?"
"Mm-hmm. I hesitated for a second, but he Mou Kei'd me in a heartbeat. Cut off all my 4 limbs, and left me to burn in the lava! HE DID THIS TO ME!" She shouted in rage.
"I'm sure it was shocking, given everything you did." Leah sarcastically shot back.
Was she really surprised? After what she had done, after she killed everyone in the Order, Padme, little Luke, Ahsoka ... Did she really expect her father would treat her as the same innocent girl she used to be?
"Funny! You're actually funny." Xela said, laughing in mock.
"But you won't be. Not after you hear the truth. In fact, when you hear what happened in your life that changed everything, you'd wanna die. Trust me."
"Pray tell, Grandma. What miracle happened in my life that stopped me from becoming a pale bitch?" Leah asked sarcastically.
She was not interested in hearing what that monster had to say. She killed everyone she ever loved. She hated her, if that made sense. She wanted to be away from her as soon as possible and as far as possible.
"You still don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?"
"What do you think happened?" Xela asked.
Laetitia frowned in confusion and puzzlement. What the hell was she talking about? Why did she assume that Leah would have the answer? What was different than Darth Xela's life? What had changed to stop that from happening?
Before Leah even tried to figure out what she was talking about, took a step back in numbness and shock. She already did figure out the whole truth. It hurt more than Sith-lightning. She felt like she was being Force-choked. She couldn't breathe out of shock.
That was impossible!
Why would Anakin do that?!
"No." She moaned in pain, begging for it to not be true.
"Yes." Xela corrected her as she smiled in satisfaction.
"You know. Deep down, you've always known. But you wanted to deny it, because it'd be easier for you to deny the truth than to accept it!" She hissed to taunt her.
"That's impossible." Leah cried out in denial and pain.
"What is? That your father did what he did to save you? That everything that has gone wrong in his life is your fault? That all the blood of the people that have been killed in the last 17 years is on you?!" Xela stated to make her feel guilty. And she was doing a splendid job.
"Let me ask you something. Did you even bother to ask your dad why he did what he did? What his nightmares were about? Or did you even think that you might be the only thing for whom he's willing to cross any line to have?!" She shouted in anger and disappointment.
Leah was so weak compared to her. She hated her, because she was weak. She stayed in the light when her father betrayed the Jedi to have her. She had no idea how much Xela wanted that to happen for her.
"Why would he do that? How did he even know? What does that have to do with anything?!" Leah asked, crying in frustration, guilt and sadness.
"It may sound ironic, given who I'm talking to. But I'll keep that one to myself. You have to figure it out by yourself." Xela smirked. She liked torturing her.
"You know all the facts now. What the Jedi want you do. Go on! Be their puppet again!"
"You're crazy!" Leah shouted back.
"And you're not? You can change your name, but you can't change who you are ... I guess none of us can change who we are. I mean, we pretend to be someone else. Someone who's doing all these bad things for the 'right reasons' ... But the truth is, we couldn't care less about right or wrong." Xela stated.
"Maybe ... But no matter what you say, you still killed the entire Jedi Order. Every Youngling, every Padawan, Knights and Masters with help. You killed your family, for God's sake. We are nothing alike!" Leah loudly defended herself.
How dared she compare herself to Leah?
"So did you! Didn't you kill Thexan?" Xela shouted back in rage.
"You chose everyone else over your own husband! You left him to die. Arcann may have struck him down, but you practically handed him the lightsaber."
Now, Leah was completely paralyzed from pain. She knew that ... and that's why it hurt. Because it was the truth. She had killed her own husband. Widowed herself on her wedding day, and orphaned her child before she was even born.
"I didn't have a choice." She quietly said.
"Tell yourself whatever you need to, Laetitia. We both know why you did it, and it wasn't to save everyone." Xela coldly said in tiredness.
"You know, you are just like him. you didn't want to have to depend on a man for the rest of your life, so you left him. You wanna be loved by everyone, but you don't wanna belong to anyone, a husband or a father." She stated.
"Say another word, and I will rip your throat out!" Leah screamed at her.
"Oh, did I strike a nerve? You know, right now, you are more like our dad more than you have ever been. This is about you and what you want ... So how does that feel? To have spent your whole life trying to get away from someone you hate ... only to turn into them?" She hissed to break her.
"You really are a bitch." Leah whispered back to her.
"I'm not the one who turned my dad to the dark side." Xela defended herself quietly.
Leah couldn't deny that. She had no idea what to do or what to think. She didn't even know how to breathe.
"You really are the end of us, Laetitia Skywalker. I hope those brown eyes are worth it. A great price was paid for it to stay that way." Darth Xela's voice echoed in the cave as she disappeared and left Leah alone, trembling in horror.
"I will see you again."
Done :(
Pooof! This was an intense chapter. What did you guys think of it?
I hope this chapter made things a bit clearer, about why the Jedi trained Laetitia this fast and why she was treated the way she was. But wait for it. The whole truth isn't out yet! In about 10 chapters, when Laetitia goes to Dagobah after saving Han, we will know why Anakin had to turn to the dark side.
Stay tuned for the next chapters! They will be very interesting (or at least, I hope)
