Evaluation
I didn't stay on Hershel's team for long. How could I? It was obvious I didn't belong there. I worked hard to increase my numbers, made for *damn* sure I out performed everyone in my squadron. I *made* Section take a second look at me and correct their mistakes. By the time my six month review came up, I was more than ready to tell Hershel to kiss my ass. I stepped into Madeline's office with my head held high. I wanted her to know that I was more than prepared to tell my old team goodbye and for her to finally put me on the *right* team.She started off rattling off my performance record, one category at a time. When she got to the category that decides whether or not an operative could be used for Valentine missions, she paused and looked me over. I tried standing up as straight as I could. I really did not want to be considered a Valentine because I had heard of the horrors women went through when they were put on assignment as one. Most of them ended up raped by some fat man that smelled bad. Others often wound up on drugs just so they could get through the rigors of their missions.
Some drank.
A few committed suicide.
Only the truly depraved actually enjoyed their lot as a Valentine. I knew that if I were ever called to do one of those missions, I would probably opt to get the bullet instead of subjecting myself to such lascivious acts. I never judged the ones that did do the missions. In Section, you just do whatever it is that you have to do to stay alive. I just knew it wasn't something that I could live with myself for doing.
It didn't matter about it, anyway. Madeline took one look at me and decided I wasn't good enough to add to her "Rose Garden" . I didn't care much, only that I hoped that this one mark against me would not bar me from getting reassigned to Michael's team. It was the *only* reason why I wanted a higher mark than the one I got. The fact that I wasn't considered for Valentine missions also made me a bit more encouraged that Michael might consider me more.
I had always heard that most Valentine Ops almost never chose to become involved with other Valentine Ops based on the simple fact that they both knew exactly what the other did when they left for their missions. It was often better not to know if the person you were with was not also ordered to be with several other people at the same time.
I used to wonder how anyone knew what anyone else did as their primary function at Section. It was to my understanding every operative had the potential to be sent on any type of mission regardless of their station, but I quickly learned that was not always the case. Madeline had her picks and those whom she chose to do "special" missions, were most often those specifically trained for such missions. Really, the only ones that were known to be Valentine Ops were those that either got aired out as one early on in their careers, or managed to become trainers, in which case, they weren't sent on missions, but they advised others who were. It was always my understanding the only reason why anyone knew about Michael's status was because he started out like the rest of us, but got fast tracked into management by Jurgen with hopes of getting him out of being just another flower in Madeline's sex garden. Michael was talented in other areas and if left as just a lowly Valentine, his value would go undiscovered.
Of course, there was never anything lowly about Michael.
They should have known by looking at him when he first came that he was something special to consider. He had greatness written all over his well defined body. He was a revolutionary after all! How could they try and quarter all that power into a simple little candy box?
Madeline…
She was a foolish woman to ever think she could tie that man up with a red ribbon and a teddy bear and think that he would be satisfied. He was so much more than a Be Mine sticker. His very presence in a room commanded notice no matter where he went. Anyone with eyes almost always found him. He did not need big bows, tinsel, or streamers to announce him. Just his smile and the peaceful sweep of his eyes heralded his coming more loudly than any sounding bell could ever ring…
I will forever adore Michael...
She evaluated me and asked me a bunch of questions that I did try to answer without sounding unenthused. I tried to curb my natural smugness and disdain for the whole process. I really dove deep to find just the right kind of answers I knew that she would be looking for so that she could bullet pin me to the right team. She asked me what day was the most important day of the week, Tuesday or Wednesday?
I answered Tuesday.
That was when we ran diagnostics and playbacks for mission reviews. It was important because most often field intel came back on those days as well. She asked me if I had a choice to kill a cat or a monkey, which would I choose? I said the monkey because it had the capacity to learn and could in its own merit learn to kill me, eventually. It is better to eliminate a potential target before it becomes a target at all. She asked me of three colors, which one is the most alarming, Red, Blue, or White. I answered White because it is the only color that is not a color at all. Its nothingness is what makes it a threat because it cannot be predicted of which color it will eventually want to become.
She smiled at me. I wasn't sure if that meant she enjoyed my answers, if I had passed her test, or had failed it miserably and she was just amused by my inept responses. She excused me painlessly and told me she would review my results with Operations and my future team leader and that I would know the outcome in a few days. I stood to my feet, feeling like I had been robbed of my birthright, but determined to maintain myself. I nodded and walked out of her office, stiff but composed. I detoured slightly just so that I could walk past Michael's office. As I did, I saw him seated at his desk, typing away as always, dutifully working. His nimble fingers paced his keyboard, tapping at the keys in such a way that seemed like a dance. His face was placid, peaceful like a still lake. Only the light from the monitor showed across his lovely face and made the opaque color of his eyes blaze a myriad of blues and greens.
There was always that affect playing in his gaze.
Some swore Michael had light green eyes, others said they were blue. I was always of the thought that his eyes changed colors depending on who was looking at him and what type of light he happened to be standing in. It really did not matter to me if his eyes were blue, green, purple, or some odd cross between all three. They were lovely eyes, attached to an even dreamier face, belonging to the most precious being on this earth. I moved on from his office, not wanting to disturb him from his work, as I was sure he probably knew I was looking at him, or if not me, then someone.
I waited for what seemed like eons for my evaluation to return. The anticipation of its inevitable correction nearly drove me insane. Hershel was getting on my nerves every day, acting like I was the problem for the reason the team couldn't get in sync with mission profiles. I kept telling Hershel that it wasn't me that was screwing up the missions, but his buddies he always ran with that were stinking up the place. I always did my job. I was always in my place, ready for whatever. It was never a question whether or not I did what I was supposed to do. It wouldn't be long before Section saw this and knew where to put me. Finally, when my results came back, I ran towards a secluded place in Section and tore open the white envelope. I read through the useless nonsense that was written about my evaluation and skipped to the bottom line where my determination would be revealed.
OPERATIVE: Vizcano, Jessica.
CLASS: Level 1 Recruit/Field Operative.
FIELD PERCENTAGE: 88/100.
TEAM ASSIGNMENT: Red Team/C-Squad
SUPERVISING LEAD: Hershel,David
OPERATIVE REVIEW: 6 Month...Satisfactory (L7; Sand, Madeline)
TEAM ASSIGNMENT: Yellow Team/Sterling Squad
SUPERVISING LEAD: Beckett, Louis
I think I stared at the words on the white paper for an hour. I couldn't believe the betrayal! I had answered every question that woman asked me with the most impeccable responses I knew anyone could have ever given her in all her years she had spent at Section. There was no one that could have been so brilliant! I was *made* to be on Michael's Alpha team! I was *born* to be! Yet none of them could see this!
It was a long while before I was calm enough to even say anything to anyone. I spent much of the day seething. When it came time to report to my new superior, I did not try and hide the sneer on my face, nor did I stop rolling my eyes when he spoke.
Beckett was a red-headed Irish idiot that thought himself equal to Michael. He even had the nerve to say that we were *all* the same in the eyes of Section. No one operative was valued less or more than the other, that we were all important and needed to work together to get the mission done. I had to suppress a laugh at that one. Did he really think that he was the same as Michael? He could barely run a full klick without doubling over gasping. The only good thing that I could hang on to being on the Sterling Squad was the fact that, at times, we were asked to provide backup support to the Alpha Team. So that meant, I could still be with Michael, even if I was positioned further back from where he was and often rolled in long after his team had left.
It was a small consolation.
As we waited in our positions, I could hear his voice over Beckett's comm unit. Whenever he called in for our team, I did not delay. I was always first at my post, first to be ready to call in my position, and first to let him know that I was always and *would* always be where he needed me to be.
