***** SET JUST AFTER MEXICO AND SOMEWHERE IN SERIES 21******

The local pharmacy she was stood in was beginning to feel too small as the eyes on her increased the longer she stood staring. Something in her wouldn't let her get this over and done with, instead she found herself glued to the spot wondering how she'd gotten herself into this mess. She knew the result without buying the test that she was staring at, but that hadn't prevented her making her way to the shop, desperate to prove herself wrong.

"Can I help you?" A young woman asked, prompting Nikki to jump slightly as she was pulled from her thoughts.

"Oh yeah, sorry, no I'm fine." Nikki finally spoke as she reached for the pregnancy test she'd been staring at and headed for the checkout, wanting nothing more to escape from the shop without attracting anymore attention or receiving any more pitiful glances.

"Do you need a bag?" The cashier asked cautiously as he looked up at Nikki, noting the fear that was so clearly present in her eyes.

"No thanks." She replied quietly, unsure of where her mask of confidence had disappeared to.

"Receipt?"

"No thanks." She smiled slightly before grabbing the item she'd just purchased and shoving it in her handbag.

Finding herself back in the safety of her car, she allowed her mind to wander again. In the aftermath of Mexico she'd found herself frequently visiting bars, drinking more than she'd care to remember and waking in the bed of a stranger; all in the hope that maybe it would stop the numbness, that maybe the next guy would help to her feel something again. She knew she'd been careful enough to use protection in each case of meaningless sex and it was for that reason that she knew exactly who the father was of the baby she was potentially carrying.

"How would you know? You haven't seen me in months." The words were out of her mouth so quickly, before she had had a chance to think over the consequences of them, but all of a sudden Jack was admitting that he felt he'd let her down. She couldn't quite figure out how they were suddenly so close, she was almost certain she hadn't moved, at least not consciously, but now she could feel Jack's breath on her face. It was only seconds before their lips met for the first time, and in that moment all of the numbness was gone, the feeling she'd been searching for was back and hitting harder than she'd expected. She was just Nikki again, not the lost soul that feared her own shadow, not the woman who so desperately craved the attention of her best friend.

"Get a room." Came the call of their fellow pathologist, the man whom Nikki was meant to be watching, but right now all she wanted to do was exactly what David had only somewhat jokingly suggested. Jack walked away, following David, but not before turning to steal another glance of Nikki before she too followed.

The next thing she knew they were done with the crime scene and she was back in her car, the sound of the passenger side door opening spooked her slightly, but the panic calmed when she saw Jack sitting next to her.

"I'm sorry about earlier." Nikki spoke whilst not meaning a word, she was determined not to damage their fragile friendship with what he would inevitably consider a mistake. She'd always thought that perhaps there was something more than just friendship between them, but the previous few months had made her doubt that.

"Sorry?" He asked cautiously, but anxiety was clear across his features, causing Nikki, who once again would claim she wasn't thinking, to lean back over and kiss him once again. "I was going to suggest that we could maybe head back to yours."

Sleeping with Jack was the one thing she'd done in recent months that she wouldn't consider a mistake, what filled her with fear over her current predicament was Jack's reaction. It had been just under a month since the night they'd spent together and in that time their friendship had soured again. Jack had slipped out of her house before Nikki had awoken and between her waking up and getting to work, it was clear something had changed again. She'd expected a smile and maybe a kiss when she got to work that morning, instead Jack's was pushing her further away as he went further out of his way to ignore her.

Nikki hadn't realised she'd done it until the sound of the ringing filled her car, looking towards her phone she'd noticed she'd rung Jack. She expected him to decline her call and waited for the inevitable pain she always felt when that happened, the feeling of her fragile heart breaking over again. She was unsure of when it'd happened, but she'd never been so sure of something when she'd realised she was in love with Jack. It took nearly being buried alive for her to admit to herself that she was in love with her best friend, that whilst she was in that box all she wanted to hear was his voice. Since she'd admitted it to herself, bar one night, all she'd felt is pain when it came to the object of her feelings, which is why she was surprised when Jack's voice filled her car.

"Nikki?" He spoke. "Are you there?" His tone got angrier as Nikki didn't speak, but that all changed when she finally got a word out.

"Jack, I need you." Her voice was so quiet and needy, so out of character for the normally head strong and independent pathologist.

"I'll be there in 5." He told her, the helplessness in her voice seemed to have gone someway towards thawing the frostiness in their relationship. All Nikki knew was that she needed to get home before Jack arrived, and figure out how to tell him about the mess they may have gotten themselves into.

The knock on her car window made her jump slightly, she'd made it back to her house but hadn't quite brought herself to leave the relative safety of her car.

"Nikki?" Jack spoke, the way he spoke her name asking all the questions he couldn't quite voice.

"Let's go inside, yeah?" From somewhere deep inside of her she found some strength, or maybe it was Jack who provided her strength, but she found herself able to leave the car and head towards her house. "Coffee?" She asked as she threw her bag down into the corner, cursing slightly when the contents spilled over her kitchen floor, but tensing when she saw the test now sat in open view.

"Is that…?" Jack trailed off as he saw the box on the floor surrounded by Nikki's make up and various pieces of paper that had probably been in her bag for far too long to still be relevant. Nikki reached for the box as she nodded, unable to meet Jack's gaze. "Have you done it?" Logically he knew that she couldn't have, the box was clearly sealed but he couldn't quite pull himself together enough to form a coherent thought.

"No, I'm scared." She admitted, pulling out a chair from under her dining table and sitting, not bothering to lift her head as she felt Jack copy her actions before he placed a hand over hers.

"I assume it would be mine?" He asked, knowing that they didn't use protection that night.

"Yes." She sighed. "Jack I'm pretty sure I know the result already, so I need to know what you want." She sighed, she'd always wanted children, but she'd thought her chance was long gone when she'd failed to settle down.

"What you want is more important." He stated, as his thumb began to caress the back of her hand. She looked up at him frowning slightly when she didn't receive a proper answer. "Okay, fine. If it's positive and if you want it, then I also want it. I'd love to have a child and I can't think of anyone I'd rather share a child with than you." He admitted.

"But you've barely spoken to me in the last four months. Jack, you've wanted nothing to do with me, you hardly bother to acknowledge my existence most days." She spoke sadly.

For a moment he was quiet whilst he tried to figure out how to voice his thoughts and feelings. "I was scared. I couldn't protect you in Mexico and I was scared I'd continue to fail you. After the night we spent together I was so scared that it was the start of something between us and that I'd hurt you. Leaving you that morning was so hard, I had everything I wanted, and I chose to leave rather than screw it up."

"You wanted to stay?" Nikki asked, her eyes lighting up slightly as he spoke.

"Of course I did, how could I not? If you'll let me, I hope you'll give me a second chance, and this time I promise not to leave you or our potential child." Without another word he gently untangled his hand from Nikki's and made his way across her kitchen, returning seconds later and setting a glass of water down in front of his best friend. "Drink up and we'll do this together. I'll be just outside the door."

Her hand was less shaky as she reached out and grabbed the glass in front of her and swallowed the liquid it held. By the time she put the glass down and reached for the pregnancy test box, the fear in her had largely subsided, something which was only helped by the hand of her favourite Irishman grabbing her spare hand..

"No matter what this says, I'm not letting you go again."

THE END

I hope you enjoyed this, I haven't written anything in years so go easy on me. The result of the pregnancy test can be whatever you want it to be.

Reviews and favourites are always welcome.

Beth