Not alone

They drove for around an hour; looping around to avoid forgotten cars, blocked down roads and finally reaching the highway. The ruckus of the city had attracted some walkers that roamed around the peripheries, but they didn't stop the movement of the ban. So, in conclusion, the trip back to camp was relatively easy.

Still, the faces inside the vehicle were anything but appeased.

Eleanor looked out at the window, the pilot was constantly clenching his jaw, the image of defeat printed on his face as much as they people they just met. She couldn't talk to him about it, she wanted to, but she chickened out in the presence of people she still couldn't trust completely.

Reaching the woods, they took on a dirt road to a hillside, and finally, they made their way to what seemed a camping site next to a lake. Eleanor bit down a smile at being right in her predictions. She didn't comment on it, the mood was beyond sour. The rest of the group were fast to get out, with a last invitation of Morales to join them for presentations, he left the newcomers inside the truck. She took a breath and looked around her. There was an RV in front of them, and some other vehicles; a couple of tents were visible and she raised her eyebrows.

"Whoa... there are indeed a lot of people here," she commented and turned to Rick with a little smile, "Are you ready to go meet the rest?" But rick didn't answer her, instead, he kept the steering wheel in a vice-like hold, and his gaze was lost in between the window of the car and the control panel. "Rick, I know this is not what you wanted... or what anyone wanted. But I'll repeat myself, I don't think this would have gone any different if you didn't cuff Merle Dixon to that pipe,"

Rick turned to look at her, the disbelieve and exhaustion present in his bright blue eyes, Eleanor let out a sigh, "that would only mean that T-dog would be dead, and who knows if the rest of us. Just... I now what you might be feeling but; for now, why don't we just concentrate on meeting people, asking around about your wife and son, and then we'll figure out what to do... together, okay?"

She put a hand over one of his, slowly, his hold on the wheel loosened, Eleanor could feel the muscles relaxing. "We are in this together, Rick," She repeated, rick turned to give him a little smirk, that she answered with a wide grin "And you know I'm right, I'm always right" she said with a smug attitude.

"Yeah... kind of getting used to it" he teased, Ellie chuckled and patted his shoulder, opening her side of the vehicle. Rick did the same. They walked out when Glenn was talking to the people around, talking about them, specifically. Eleanor saw a woman kneeling in front of a little boy who looked as if he was about to cry. Eleanor mused that if she were to meet the Grimes, they would probably look like them.

That was, until she turned to look at Rick. She wide-eyed, the stern and guarded attitude was washed away, his eyes watered, and his smile couldn't form right because of the conflicted emotions.

She turned back to the woman and child, who also turned to look at Rick... they looked at him as if they had seen a ghost. The child screamed and ran to meet Rick, who was now staggering to the front. They reached each other and Rick kneeled, hugging him with all he's got. He stood then, carrying the child into his arms and walking to meet the disbelieving woman. As if a spell was broken, she hugged his husband overwhelmed. Eleanor scratched her eyes and smiled. She felt so relieved that they were reunited. She bit her lip, trying to cling onto that relieved feeling and to not let the sensation of fear overtake her.

Her promise was already fulfilled. Rick had found her family, there was no need for him to put himself in danger. Eleanor looked around at the smiling families and friends. Glenn hanged around beside Jackie, Andrea hugged a younger woman that looked just like her. Morales had a wife and two children.

There was no real reason for her to hang around now. The plaguing sensation of loneliness that haunted her back at Atlanta was surging again, and she hugged herself. Maybe if she turned around now, they wouldn't notice she had left.

"And who might you be?"

She visibly jumped, and looked to her right. Her scared expression met the surprised one of the old man. He was raising an eyebrow, the sniper rifle he possessed pointing up and behind him like a fishing rod. Fishing rod because he looked as if he had gone out on a fishing holiday.

"Am... I, I mean..." Eleanor mumbled, and she tried to restrain the giggle that was forming on her mouth. She extended her arm straight, the guy took some steps behind, and looked at Eleanor confused, "I'm Eleanor Sherry, the real newcomer, nice to meet you,"

She smiled, and the old man slowly mirrored it, taking the hand and shaking.

"Dale Horvath, young lady," he raised his eyebrows and said with conviction, "the pleasure is all mine!"

She couldn't help it any longer, she laughed. That made all other eyes turn to stare at her. Rick turned, the biggest grin she has ever seen on his face. She giggled a little longer, raising her eyebrows at the welcome expression. The sheriff stretched his arm and walking forward, he looped it around Eleanor's shoulders. She let herself be guided, barely sparing a befuddled look at the old man Dale. This one smirked at the exchange.

"Eleanor, I want you to meet somebody," She looked up front. The little child that had ran after his father now remained nailed on the ground. He wasn't hiding behind his mother, but might just have. She smiled, and Rick stood on the side as mediator.

"Eleanor, this is my Wife Lori, and my son Carl,"

"Nice to meet you," Lori said with a strained smile. Eleanor received the greeting with a little less awkwardness, thinking that her son was taking after her shyness.

At least, she thought that until she looked down and was met with another pair of bright blue eyes. He was really pale, not too short, and his hair had a shade of brown lighter than his mother. The kid looked around 11 or 12 years old, his gaze a mixture of mistrust and confusion.

Eleanor flashed a wide grin at him. She just could't help it; his factions might have been gentle like his mother's, but she could recognize that scrutinizing gaze anywhere.

"Hello Carl, I'm Eleanor, nice to meet you," she said extending her hand. The little man looked at it, but didn't take it. Instead he raised his defiant eyes.

"Were you saved by dad?"

"Carl, greet her properly," his mother said under her breath. Eleanor turned to Rick and both broke in laughter. She looked back at Carl, who was now blushing.

"What's so funny?" His mother asked confused. Eleanor vended over and took Carl's hand by surprise, this one jumped, but before he could yank it away, Eleanor shook it.

"Actually, your dad was saved by me," She said and he wide-eyed. He turned to Rick and he raised his hands.

"She's not lying. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have made it alive, or found Glenn and the others," he explained.

"Then she must be a wonder woman"

Eleanor rose and turned, but all that she could see was a male torso. She jumped and backed away, looking up... searching for a face. It was a tall man, Eleanor recognized the plates on his neck before she met a pair of dark brown eyes like hers. "Shane Walsh, you did this family a great service,"

She shook his hand, certainly feeling impressed. "Don't say it like that, it was not that big of a deal," She said with a little smile and a blush, "Rick is a great shot, and he's fearless,"

"I didn't know you had a fan Rick," he joked, "And you... are you passing by or..."

The merry disposition dissipated. Eleanor could feel Rick walking to stand behind her. Eleanor grew nervous, remembering what she just felt before.

"I was actually hoping if i could stay for a little while," she giggled, "at least until-"

"I owe her my life, and she was alone before I met her," Rick put a hand in her shoulder. "We could ask the others if there's space for her to stay. She knows of weapons and the walkers, she could be a great asset-"

"Y-you don't have to go out of your way to welcome me," Eleanor added with a side glance to Rick. She feared the situation would be even more awkward until Dale walked to them.

"We have a a spare tent, so she could fit in just fine," he assured with an enthusiastic nod.

Shane appeared to look past her, but Eleanor didn't dare to look behind her. He let out a sigh and she looked at him.

"Alright, you'll be staying," Eleanor beamed, "but first, I need you to give me all your weapons,"

And the awkward silence returned. Eleanor turned to look around her. So they didn't hang around with guns? Wasn't that a bit dangerous on itself? It was true that children were around and they could play with them and cause an accident; but if they were to grow up then... wasn't it better for them to understand the reality?

"Eleanor?" Rick said behind her, she jumped and looked around.

"Sorry, I spaced out for a while. Do you have a shelf or... a box?"

"You can hand them to me," Shane said, his posture stern and now bored.

"Um, okay... do you keep a registration form or something?" She asked and Dale gave her an odd look. "I have special weapons with me, kind of a personal object more than a weapon. If I risk to loose them, then I'd rather keep them with me,"

Shane pinched his nose, "Let's start with the ones that you don't hold dear then," he extended his hand.

What followed was comical and absolutely embarrassing. One by one, Eleanor left in the open her weapons. First, her two handguns. Then the assortment of pocket knives, her karambit, and a small drop point. By this point she hear snickers behind her and she shot a glare at Rick. Shane proceeded to hand the weapons to Dale, who left the rifle against the RV. Eleanor wasn't finished, and with a blush on her cheeks, she moved to open her bag and pull out at least 30 rounds for the handguns, and a couple of flares.

She stopped moving. Silence was made, and she meekly lifted her eyes. Shane raised an eyebrow.

"Are you done?" Eleanor nodded, "Damn young lady!" He said and Lori protested at the curse, Eleanor huffed a giggle. "So what are the weapons that you 'hold dear'?"

Eleanor proceeded to lift her cream white pullover and she heard two things... an outraged gasp and a 'wow'. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. She decided to show her hip. She pulled the large Bowie knife out of it's carved holster, but only an inch.

"My hunting knives," she explained, letting the blade fall back into the holster, then buttoning the protector. "You can have everything else if you like, but the blades stay with me,"

"You don't need to do that, right Shane," Rick stepped in, a hand on her shoulder. "I've seen her fight, she knows they are not toys,"

The man scratched his chin and looked behind him. Eleanor turned, Lori was resting her hands on the whips, also troubled.

"I guess.. as long as she doesn't show them to the children," she suggested. Eleanor turned and raised her hands.

"I'll take full responsibility,"

Shane let out a sigh and Eleanor beamed. She turned to Dale and Rick with a bright smile. The old man urged her to accompany him to meet the rest, but before she could leave she felt a tug on her wrist. She turned, Rick was the one holding her back.

"No matter what others tell you, you are staying;"

"Rick, it's okay. The mistrust is actually relieving. That means they are well protected by your partner," she said with a smile. Rick did a double take and Eleanor's smile turned to a grin, "He's also a cop right? He was your partner back at home wasn't he?"

"Don't change the subject," he admonished, his posture still stern. "I mean it. If they make you leave, you'll tell me,"

She let out a resigned sigh, and patted his shoulder as answer. "Relax cowboy, I just gave away my karambit! Where the hell am I getting another one? Huh? I ain't going nowhere,"

He smirked and nodded. Some steps further away, Carl was waiting for him alongside his mother. Eleanor gave the little man a look and he answered the curious stare with the same mistrustful one. Eleanor caught up to Dale and they went in the other direction.

Eleanor reached soon the conclusion that Dale was your average grumpy-but-sweet grandpa. He presented her to almost everyone on the camp. That's how she met Morales's family, Jimmy who was a mechanic, and the Peletier family. This was people she had no previous information of, it was the father... Ed, his wife Carol and a little girl called Sophia. Finally Eleanor met Amy, the younger version of Andrea, and who was indeed her sister.

Once she reached Glenn this one joked about the weapons and Shane and Eleanor blushed once again. T-Dog said that she was loaded for war and alongside Morales, they joked about it. It appeared that she was right, Shane was pretty much the leader around and he dictated the rules to follow and took care of the security measures around the camp. Capable guy, Ellie thought, if not intimidating.

It also seemed there was a sense of gratitude around the people of the camp, and the fact that Eleanor had lost her weapons somehow moved them to give her things. As Dale promised, there was a singular tent they had but nobody used. Jackie moved to give her batteries for her flashlight, and Carol offered a black hoodie and a quilt, in case it got too cold at night.

Soon, Eleanor forgot that unwelcome feeling of not belonging, and she opened up to the people she know most. Rick played around with Carl and she watched Lori from afar. The night came fast in the forest and everyone moved to raise their tents and prepare the bonfires. Andrea offered to help her with her tent and, despite perfectly knowing how to raise a tent by herself, Eleanor let the woman help her. This one took the chance to thank Eleanor for the ideas and that she was also happy that a capable person was now inside the camp. In return, Eleanor suggested if some day Andrea wished to learn to use her gun. The blond woman smiled, saying that someday she might take upon the offer.

This is how the hectic day Eleanor has had finished with warm tea, canned soup and a cozy bonfire. She remained with the group where Rick and most of the people she knew were, including Dale, Shane and Andrea.

"Mom said you died" said Carl suddenly, looking at Rick, who caressed his face.

"She had all the right to believe that" he began " the hospital was overrun when I woke up,"

"I tried to get all the people I could man..., " said Shane looking down in guilt.

"I don't have words to thank you for taking care of my family," said Rick with an emotional face.

"There go words... falling short again," commented Dale trying to lift up the mood. Ellie couldn't help but to notice the concerned yet nervous stares Lori and Shane shared from time to time, and she wondered if there was something they were hiding from Rick.

Still, it was not her business; so she decided to forget about it.

"When words are not enough, we need to repay kindness with kindness," began Eleanor "After all, actions speak louder than words... right?" she said with a smile

"Ha! We are going to have great conversations here" said Dale animated, while Amy complained. Ellie chuckled, the young woman asked how old was Eleanor anyway... but before she could answer, her attention was pulled to Shane. His expression suddenly turned somber, and he was looking beyond their group, to the other bonfire. There, Ed Peletier had taken a large log and had tossed to their respective fire.

"Care to rethink that log... Ed?" began Shane

"It's cold man" he retorted, Shane looked serious at him

"The cold don't change the rules, does it?... We keep our fires low so we can't be seen from a distance, right?" Shane continued with caution.

"I said it's cold" he said stubbornly.

Ellie let out a sigh, there had to be at least one douche-bag, if not two... That always got their way around to keep living. And the way he was always looming over his wife... Eleanor hated it. Shane stood and moved to walk to that group. Lori spared some words to stop him; Shane returned... but just because Ed was too coward to confront him, he put the log away himself.

"Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon... What will he say when he finds out his brother was left behind,"

"I'll tell him... I dropped the key, It's on me" began T-dog

"I cuffed him... That makes him mine," began Rick

"Guys, this is not a competition" said Glenn "I hate to bring race into this... but it might sound better coming from a white guy,"

"Might sound better?" said Ellie with a cringe, "Nothing about what happened will sound right. Merle Dixon was handcuffed to that roof because he almost beat T-dog to death, after saying that not even this apocalypse could bring him to obey a black man," Dale gave her a surprised look "He had been firing and making noise, putting everyone in danger. To top it all off, Rick found pot on him. It's hard to say... but he had this coming,"

"She's right, we all saw it" Added Andrea "he was out of control, Eleanor is not exaggerating, your husband did what was necessary" she concluded, giving her last gaze to Lori "this whole thing is on Merle and Merle only,"

"And that's what we are going to tell Daryl?" asked Dale "I don't see a rational discussion out of this,"

"Because there isn't," cut Ellie with a resigned sigh, "Decisions were taken. His brother might be enraged after the fact and he's on his right. But if he knew Merle... he'll eventually come to terms with what kind of situation his brother brought on everybody," she said looking down "None of us is proud of it... a man died today,"

"... he might not be dead," continued T-dog, and they looked at him "I stopped long enough to chain that door. Stair case is narrow, maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it... it's not enough to break through that-"

"so... what you're saying is that he is still alive?" No one answered, the atmosphere heavy.

This is how they finished dinner, and everyone stood to walk to their tents. With a lazy stretch, Eleanor stood and walked to her tent. She wasn't particularly beside anyone and she welcomed the privacy. Unzipping the entrance, she moved to sit inside the plastic material and she spared a moment to gaze at the sky. The stars shone so bright, after the outbreak... almost no cars or planes were active, there was no contamination, the sky was as clear in the city as if the woods. She smiled, thinking that those past weeks she hadn't even bothered to look up at the sky any longer.

Her poisonous mind plagued her, thinking if Merle Dixon was shivering on that roof, and if he was also looking at the stars.

The sound of a cough made her return to reality. Eleanor looked to her left, and she wide-eyed. Standing straight, a couple of steps away, was Carl Grimes himself. Eleanor blinked, and looked to her sides, expecting to also find Rick or Lori.

"I came alone," the child announced. Eleanor centered her gaze in his face, and he started fidgeting. She smiled.

"You came alone? Then you must have something important to tell me,"

"I do," he took a deep breath, his expression serious and even solemn, "I wanted to apologize, for not greeting you right. And also to thank you, for saving dad,"

"Okay," Eleanor said with a smile, and she moved to stand again. Startled, Carl took some steps back, and Eleanor extended her hand. "Let's do this again. My name is Eleanor Sherry, but you can call me Ellie. My friends call me Ellie,"

This time around, Carl took her hand and shook it with purpose. "I'm Carl Grimes, nice to meet you too. Though, I won't call you Ellie,"

"What? Why!"

"My dad calls you Eleanor," He puffed his chest in pride. Eleanor resisted a squeal, and pouted instead.

"Right..., Why am I even surprised," The little man smirked, "Anyway... you are welcome. Your father might not say it, but he also helped me by getting me out of that city," she said while moving to sit at the border of her tent once again.

"Were you alone?"

Carl bit his lip, he looked unsure. This was a kid full of surprises, Eleanor thought; he was defiant and confident, but also had his moments of doubt... he recognized boundaries. She was curious, and Eleanor thought that It wouldn't hurt to talk for a while... right?

She smiled, and scooted to the side. Then, she patted the space beside her. Carl looked at the spot and then back at Eleanor. Finally, he looked behind him, and moved to sit beside her.

"Yup, I was alone. Not that I was complaining, mind you. But, I was so bored..." she joked. Still, Carl didn't smile. She pouted, "You don't believe me?"

"Dad said that you knew how to fight," he began, and frowned. "But you are a girl-"

"Excuse me!" she said with a snicker, "This girl could beat your dad's butt any day,"

"I'll believe it when I see it," he answered defiant and Eleanor barked a laugh.

"Definitely, you take after your dad more than your mom," she concluded. At that, Carl smiled again. "He was eager to find you, you know... you were the only thing in his mind. Probably, his determination to be beside you was what made him return from his coma and come find you,"

She wouldn't know for sure, but that wasn't important. Carl's smile turned brighter. Were it daylight, she would have seen a blush. Contented, Eleanor patted her legs. "I think you should return to your tent. It's late, and your parents will wonder where you are. It's never safe in the woods at night,"

"Shane also says that,"

"That's because it's the truth! So you better obey," She added, and Carl stood.

"Good night, Eleanor," he took care to pronounce her name carefully. The brat.

"Good night Carl," she said with a smile, and moved to enter her tent and close it behind her.

With care, she used her flashlight to inspect if there were holes or small insects managed to enter. When she found none, she moved to leave her blades beside her and change into her new hoodie. Wrapping herself with her quilt, she let her eyes drift into the moving shadows of the trees.

Finally, and after more days that she could count, she dozed off into a deep sleep.