Thank you all so much for your sweet and kind reviews! Enjoy!
Chapter 6
Two weeks before they lost Emmy, Anna suffered a miscarriage. They had been trying for two years for another baby. Much like before they had Emmy, they struggled. It was her second loss in those two years, but it had hurt much worse than the first one. Anna had given up hope that they would ever have Emmy a sibling. For nearly a week after the loss, she had stayed in bed, depressed.
John had been her rock. He took time off work to allow her this time to grieve, bringing Emmy and food into the bedroom in hopes of cheering her up. By the end of the week, Anna finally found her smile again. She, John, and Emmy had a picnic by the fireplace and Anna thanked John for not pushing her through her grief and allowing her the time she needed.
After Emmy's disappearance, Anna worried she was being punished. That there was something so wrong with her that said she shouldn't be a mother. And what made that worse were there were people who were saying that very thing.
As the news circulated over all different platforms, people shared their opinions on the matter. She and John were called negligent parents for turning their backs on their child for a split second. Sure there were the people who felt sorry for them and even backed them up, but it didn't matter. The cruel comments were the ones that they both internalized, because they, too, blamed themselves.
The comments were relentless. It was Mary who closed Anna's laptop on her telling her not to listen to the keyboard warriors and that all parents turn their backs every once in a while. She, her parents, and their close friends, all told them over and over again that it was not their fault. But they didn't believe them. Did any parent when it came to their child?
A knock on the door pulled Anna from her thoughts. She had been standing in the doorway of Emmy's room where her father and John were trying to put the new bed that Anna ordered together. She turned and left them to it, going downstairs to open the door.
When she reached downstairs, she found that her mother had already opened it and that Mary was there. Immediately, Anna rushed to her friend and wrapped her arms around her. As they pulled apart, Mary placed her hands on Anna's shoulders and gave her a crooked smile.
"I can't believe it," Mary said, her head shaking. Anna had called her the day before after she had told her parents, but she hadn't seen her friend in person since then. "Your mother said they wouldn't let her come home with you?"
"No, they…there is apparently a lot of red tape."
"Well, I'm calling Matthew and having him deal with it," Mary, who was quick to want to solve things, stated. "He'll remind them who the Crawleys are."
Anna nodded. She had never wanted to use her connection to the biggest name in town except for twice in her life. Once when her daughter went missing in hopes of it helping and now when it could mean her daughter could come home sooner.
"How are you?" Mary's voice was full of genuine concern.
"She needs to sleep," Elsie broke in, pursing her lips.
"I can't sleep," Anna replied. And how could she? Her daughter was nearby, but she wasn't home. Anna wondered if she'd really ever be able to sleep again. Would she always want to keep one eye open to make sure her daughter wasn't stolen from her once more?
"Is he here?" Mary's voice was quieter this time.
"He's upstairs with Dad putting her bed together," Anna answered. "We have an hour until we leave to see Emmy again. We're meeting her at a therapist's office. They think it may help with the transition. She hasn't seen John, yet. Perhaps seeing him will spark some memories."
"I'm sure she'll remember soon," Mary tried to assure. But Anna knew there was a good chance her daughter wouldn't remember them. Anna tried to recall when she was three. There were some very vague memories, but nothing that brought back any important feelings. They would basically be starting all over with their daughter.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
The bed was made. John thought about how large it looked and how that meant his daughter had grown without him. That his little girl had hit milestones he would never get to relive.
His throat felt dry and he tried to push back those thoughts. It would do him no good with his daughter to be angry right now. He was angry and he was sure he would always be angry, but right now, he needed to focus on getting to know his little girl again.
He wondered what she liked and disliked. Was purple still her favorite color? Was she still a bit of a sweet tooth? Had she learned to like her vegetables?
Charlie, clearing his throat, made John glance up. The two had managed to remain civil while putting the bed together. Charlie had never been too fond of John, but he was sure it wouldn't have mattered who married Anna, no one would have been good enough for him. They had gotten along fine enough before Emmy's disappearance; there had been a mutual respect. He had never thought they would be best buddies, but there was a shift now. And John knew it was because he left. He wondered how much Charlie knew about the weeks that lead up to him leaving. He assumed he didn't know and he wouldn't tell him. He was fine being the bad guy to Anna's father if that's what Anna needed him to be.
"I'll make up the bed," John stated. Charlie nodded and left the room. John placed the new sheets and pillows on the bed. He scanned the bedroom, searching for Emmy's favorite stuffed bear. It was pink, purple, and white with sparkles all over it. They had always rubbed off, causing him to find sparkles on his shirts when he got to work.
Finally, he spotted it by the doorway. It was slightly worn and John wondered if Anna hadn't hugged on to it many times in the past several years. He sighed, before picking it up and setting it on the bed. He hoped Emmy remembered it.
Once he was sure everything was prepared for his daughter, he grabbed the box full of rubbish and began to take it downstairs to throw it in the bin. As he made it to the bottom of the stairs, he could hear Mary speaking with Anna. He hadn't spoken to Mary in years. She was the last person, outside of Anna, that he had seen the day before he left. She had been crying. It had been odd, seeing Mary cry. But to be fair, he had been crying too.
His foot landed on the wooden floor and Anna and Mary glanced up from where they were speaking in the living room. Mary eyed him carefully and John shifted uncomfortably in his spot.
"Bates," she then warmly said, standing from the couch. "It's good to see you."
"Mary's called Matthew," Anna added, standing as well. Her hands were anxiously turning in front of her. "He's going over the laws and seeing what he can do about getting Emmy home sooner."
"Oh, thank you," John sincerely stated. Mary just gave a tight nod.
"Not a problem. I should probably get going, let you get ready for your visit with Emmy." She bent over and kissed Anna's cheek. "Call me after you see her, alright?"
"Alright."
Mary told the rest of them goodbye and exited the house. Anna remained frozen in her spot, her eyes meeting John's. They both just stared at one another for a few moments. John knew there was so much he needed to say, but he found that all the words were stuck within his throat. In many ways, nothing had changed. But in others, everything had. He and Anna were not John and Anna anymore. He had moved away, met someone new, and tried to move forward with his life. But standing here with Anna, he wished that life could be like it had been before when they had been happy.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
As they pulled into the parking lot of the therapist's office, John let out a loud breath. He glanced at his reflection in the rearview mirror. There were bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep the night before. He hoped Emmy wouldn't notice.
He stepped out of the car and then walked over to open Anna's door. However, by the time he had made it to her, she was already out and back at ringing her hands nervously. He watched as she bit down on her lower lip and eyed the building in front of them with trepidation.
"Alright," she pushed out a moment later. "Let's go."
The two of them walked into the building. Upon entering, there was a desk with a woman typing on her computer.
"May I help you?"
"Yes," Anna started for them. "We're here to see Emmy Bates."
A look of recognition covered the woman's face, making John uncomfortable. It was a look they had seen many times before. People in this town knew the tragic story of Emmeline Bates, who drowned in the river right before Halloween. And now, John had no doubt, that Emmy's face and theirs would flood the papers again. There would be no escaping it.
"Right," the woman quickly fixed her face. She stood. "Follow me."
They followed her down a narrow hallway. Then she knocked on a stark white door. It opened and a kind looking woman answered.
"Mr. and Mrs. Bates," she calmly said. "I'm Dr. Latham. Come on inside. Emmy arrived just a few minutes before you did. She's drawing a picture."
They came inside the room. It was very different than the boring hallway. This room was full of color and toys. It seemed welcoming. He didn't have time to finish assessing the room, because his eyes fell on the little girl sitting at the table. Her back was to them. Her blonde locks fell just past her shoulders, which were hunched over as she worked hard on her picture she was making.
"Emmeline," Dr. Latham brightly stated. "Your parents are here."
Emmy paused what she was doing. John could see her placing a crayon back into its box and then she slowly turned to face them. John's breath hitched in his throat. She looked so much like Anna.
He curled his lips up into a smile and clasped his hands together in front of him.
"Emmy," he breathlessly said. "You've gotten so big."
The girl seemed to think on what he said, knitting her brows and twisting her lips.
"I suppose that's how it works," she finally replied, causing him and Anna to giggle slightly. But the girl pursed her lips and they stopped. They had thought she was trying to be funny, but it appeared they were wrong.
"Let's come over here and sit on the couches. Emmeline, why don't you choose where you sit first?"
Emmy stood from the chair at the desk and went over to sit on one of the chairs by the couch. Taking her lead, Anna and John sat down in the couch across from the chair and the therapist took a seat in another chair on the side.
"I brought you some pictures," Anna began. She was pulling a picture album out of her bag. "It has pictures of you when you were younger and of your dad and me and Gran and Grandpapa." Her voice was slightly frantic. John had to keep himself from putting his hand on her knee, as he would have before, to calm her down. "Would you like to see?"
Emmy didn't speak, but she did nod. Anna stood and handed it to Emmy.
"It's just one of the many books I have. This one was made after your 3rd birthday party, so you'll see a lot of birthday pictures."
Emmy opened the book and slowly glanced through the photos. John could tell that Anna was trying to peer up and over so that she could see what pictures she was on. He couldn't blame her, he wanted to see them too.
"Who's this boy?" Emmy asked a moment later.
"Who?" John questioned.
"Do I have a brother?" Emmy lifted up the album and there was a photo of Emmy with a little boy who was a few years older than her and with blonde hair.
"No," John answered.
"No," Anna repeated. "That's George. He was one of your friends. He is three years older than you. He's your Aunt Mary's little boy. Though he's not so little now. He's eleven."
"Do I have any siblings?"
John could see Anna's face falter. She had always wanted to have three children. They had spoken about it for years. Then they had Emmy. After her last miscarriage, Anna had said that Emmy was enough. And she was. But it didn't take away the hurt of their dreams not coming true.
"No," Anna answered, forcing a smile upon her lips. "We only had you. But we do have a dog. Do you like dogs?"
For the first time, Emmy smiled. It made John's heart flutter.
"What's his name? Or is it a girl?"
"His name is Butler," Anna went on to explain. "It's technically your Gran and Grandpapa's dog, but they live with us now. They can't wait to see you."
"Do you have a picture of the dog?"
Emmy's interest in Butler seemed to have made Anna feel more at ease. It was giving her some connection with their daughter, something Emmy was excited about. Anna pulled her phone out of her pocket and quickly searched for a photo of the dog. Then she walked over to Emmy and showed it to her. Emmy's smile grew.
"He's cute."
"He's a lot of fun."
"Do you like him?" Emmy's question was to John. He inhaled sharply. He didn't know the dog, not well. He had only met him the day before, but he and Anna had said they would go into this as though they hadn't been apart for five years.
"I love him," John lied. Emmy seemed pleased.
"I think I'll like having a dog," she said. "Mum would never let me have one. Said we moved too much."
John's heart sank as he saw Anna's face fall and noticed her eyes fill with tears. He could tell she was trying to cover up the hurt with how she ducked her head and quickly walked back over toward the couch.
"Emmeline," Dr. Latham interrupted. John had almost forgotten she was there. "Why don't you go and color or play a game. I'm going to go and talk to your parents next door."
Dr. Latham took them to a room with a window where they could look in on Emmy. She was still looking through the book that Anna had brought. John watched as Anna walked to the window and observed Emmy.
"She's a bright girl," Dr. Latham told the two of them. Anna turned to face her and Dr. Latham pointed to the chairs for them to sit.
"She's our girl," John said. He knew it the moment he saw her. It was his Emmy. There was no doubt about that.
"We just…we want to take her home with us. She's already been away from us for five years."
"I know," Dr. Latham agreed. "I am doing everything on my end to speed the process. I know this must be difficult for you both, but we want the best transition for Emmeline."
"Has she told you anything about her life in the past five years?" John asked, though he was scared to know what she might say. Dr. Latham nodded.
"Yes, there's not much more that we have learned than we already knew. Maggie and Emmeline moved a lot. Emmy didn't go to school. She was happy, though. Or at least, content. Emmy didn't know that her life was so different than others. It seemed Maggie tried to shield her from the darkness that came with her drug dealing."
John let out an air of relief.
"That's something," Anna murmured.
"Mrs. Bates, I know it is difficult for you to hear Emmeline calling Maggie, Mum. You're handling it very well, though. It's good that you don't correct her. Instead, let her see that you are her mother. She will learn over time."
"Right," Anna quietly replied. John's jaw tightened. It was in this moment that he realized how much harder this would be on Anna. He had not been replaced; she had.
"Alright, I will give you both a little while longer with Emmeline. Just be patient. And I will do everything I can to help with this transition."
To be continued...
I will try to make sure I update daily, but weekends are for family time. I have two small children, so I'll do the best I can to have the chapters edited and posted over the weekends. But it may not always happen. Thank you so much for reading :)
