Again, thank you! You have all been so kind.

Chapter 8

4 and a Half Years Ago

As their life stood still, the world moved on. Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day were all celebrated. Next would be Easter. It had been one of Anna's favorite holidays, dressing Emmy up in a brand new dress and letting her search for the eggs.

Then after Easter would be Emmy's birthday. She was nearly 4 years old. Anna had already begun planning the theme for Emmy's birthday after her last one. Though she knew it would likely change as her daughter showed interest in new things, but then that never happened. Because her daughter was gone.

And now, Anna stood in front of the birthday aisle at the market, just starring at all the decorations. Her plan had been purple and silver. Emmy loved purple. If there were color choices, it was always what she would choose. It was why Rapunzel had been her favorite princess. She had a purple dress.

Anna inhaled sharply. She grasped onto the cart and pushed it forward. There was a list in her hands of what she needed to buy. This was what her therapist recommended so that she didn't end up doing what she was doing now. It kept her from having fits, as her therapist and John called them, in the store. It was to keep her focused, her eyes on the task at hand.

Glancing over the list in her hand, she saw she needed cheese. She didn't know why. She didn't cook anymore. John took care of that now. Anna could barely focus on that. Her focus was elsewhere and nowhere at the same time.

She turned right and headed toward where the cheese was. Her eyes scanning over John's handwriting to see if there was anything else needed in the same section. Twisting her lips, she saw that there was not. She stepped away from her cart and grabbed a package of cheddar cheese. Turning back to place it in her buggy, a flash of blonde curly hair caught her attention. The cheese dropped out of her hand, plopping into the steel cart, and her legs began to move in the direction of the little girl.

She followed her down one aisle. When she reached her, she placed her hand on her shoulder and turned her toward her.

"Emmy!" She cried out. The little girl stared back at her, blinking harshly. She quickly let go.

"Amanda!" A woman called, running forward and grasping at her daughter's hand. She pulled her closer to her and looked angrily at Anna. "Why are you touching my child?"

"I….I….I'm sorry," Anna sputtered, her stomach twisting and turning. She brought her hands up in front of her chest. "I thought…."

"Don't come near my child again!" The woman warned, before quickly taking her child away from Anna.

Tears bubbled up behind her eyes and she could feel her body shaking. For a moment, she forgot where she was, panic consuming her. Her hands came up to her head and she struggled to gather herself.

The buzz of her phone made her jump, but also brought her back to reality. She took the phone from her pocket and answered it.

"Hello?" She tried to say normally, but there was a tremor in her voice.

"What's wrong?" John asked on the other end. He knew her so well. She shook her head, not sure what to tell him.

"N…nothing," Anna shakily replied. "There was just a little girl…."

"Anna," John lightly scolded. "You can't keep doing that. I thought…." He paused. "Just come on home. I'll do the shopping."

"I can grocery shop, John!" Anna yelled into the phone.

"No," he disagreed. "You can't. Just come home, Anna."

Anna hung up the phone, livid. But she did as he asked. She left her buggy by the cheese and walked back out to her car, driving home. Her body was trembling with anger. When she pulled up to the house, she could see that John was standing by the garage door with his hands crossed over his chest. She pulled up next to him and climbed out of the car.

"Tell me exactly what happened," John started in, not even giving her a chance to breathe. Anna exhaled loudly.

"Nothing happened, John. I was fine," she lied. She sidestepped him, walking into their house and setting her purse on the kitchen table.

She went into the kitchen and grabbed a drink from the refrigerator, not wanting to argue anymore with her husband. It seemed it was all they did anymore. He was worried she was losing herself and she was angry at him for not understanding why she couldn't just give up. Then there were the papers. Though the story wasn't showing up as often, there would still be a story every now and then. With summer steadily approaching in a few months, they saw a piece on the perils of children drowning with their daughter's picture up front and center. John had been angry. He hated the press more than she did. He wanted them out of their lives. He couldn't handle the judgements or the constant lack of privacy.

"You're not fine," John said, closing the door behind him and following her into the kitchen. "You can't just grab random kids thinking they are Emmy! You'll end up arrested!"

Anna took a sip of her drink, her eyes resting on his.

"What if it had been her?" Her voice broke slightly and the lines on John's face softened. He stepped forward.

"It won't be, Anna. She's gone," he gently said. "Our daughter is gone."

Anna tightened her grip on the drink in her hand and strongly shook her head.

"She's not. Someone stole her….."

"Anna, they found her wellies in the river. All the signs…."

"I don't care about the signs! They've given up on Emmy and you've given up on her too!"

"That's not fair!" John yelled back. "Emmy meant everything to me! Everything!"

Anna turned away from him, throwing her drink into the sink. It made a loud crashing sound and she watched as the liquid dripped from the back wall onto the countertops.

"Then fight for them to keep looking for her," Anna said, her eyes still on the dark liquid. It dripped down and down making a puddle behind the sink.

"Anna, we can't live like this. We've spoken to the police. We hired an investigator. Mary hired a second investigator. They have all agreed that she's gone. We can't keep living here in this purgatory."

"I can't stop searching for her, John," Anna now cried, her chest tightening. "I know she's out there. I can feel it deep within my soul. Don't you trust me?" She asked, turning back to face him.

John's hand came up to cup her cheek and she leaned into it, missing his touch. It was rare they touched nowadays. Her eyes closed and she brought her hand over his.

"I do," he whispered. "I do. But I don't know what else you want me to do, Anna. This isn't a way to live. Why don't we try one more private investigator? But if he or she says the same thing, we have to start to move forward."

"Alright," Anna promised, opening her eyes and meeting his. "One more try."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Now

They had tried one more time and he also said the same thing, everything pointed to Emmy drowning in the river. John sighed, holding tightly to the warm cup in his hands. Emmy had woken up and asked immediately to play with Butler. He was watching her now outside and sipping on his cup of coffee.

He hated himself. How could he have given up? Anna never did.

The door opened behind him and he turned to see Anna stepping out. It was a chilly morning, so Anna was wearing her thick robe over her small frame. She was also wearing her glasses, which made a small smile play on his lips. It had been so long since he had seen her in glasses. She only needed them for reading and when she drove at night. It was then that he noticed the paper within her hands.

She took a seat on one of the chairs, her eyes glancing over to Emmy, and then opened the paper. John went to sit next to her. He placed his hand over and onto her knee and she looked up.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Anna narrowed her eyes.

"For what?"

He inhaled sharply, "For not looking harder. You were right. She's here and alive."

Anna's lips pursed into a thin line and John wondered what she was going to say. He prepared himself for her to go off on him, or at least say yes, he was wrong and he failed her. But instead, she shook her head.

"John, all the signs indicated that she was dead," Anna simply stated. "And you were right, I was too far gone. I couldn't see clearly. I wasn't well. Now, we just need to focus on her."

Emmy threw a ball and Butler ran to fetch it, eliciting a giggle from their daughter. John felt his heart swell. It was the most wonderful sound.

He heard as Anna opened the newspaper, falling into the words on the page. His eyes never left Emmy. She seemed happy; he just hoped she would remain happy with them. There were so many details that needed to be worked out. How would they tell her they were getting a divorce? Was it wrong of them to be lying to her now? Though was it really a lie or just withholding the truth?

Anna gasped.

"What is it?"

Anna's face had screwed up and John could tell she was angry.

"Anna?"

She just turned the paper around so that he could see a young Emmy staring back at him. The headline read: Yorkshire Daughter Back from the Dead.

"We should have known that this would happen," Anna said, though she sounded upset. "They're relentless. And Emmy's disappearance is still used yearly as a PSA on child drownings."

John frowned. He hadn't known that. Of course, he tried to keep away from all of the news from Yorkshire. And well, news in general. After being the focus of it for so long, he now felt bad for those in the papers. It didn't seem right to read about their issues all the time.

"We'll have to watch out as we leave the house," Anna went on to say. "They'll probably try to grab pictures of Emmy and us. I can't believe we have to go through this again."

"Me either," John agreed. Though he did know that at least this time they had their daughter.

"I'm going to go inside and start breakfast," Anna then said, standing from her chair. "I hope Emmy likes bacon and eggs. I'll add waffles, just in case. Every child likes waffles, right?" There was a sliver of fear covering her features, worry that Emmy wouldn't be happy with Anna as a mother. John understood those fears, because he had them as a father.

"Yes," he stated with a wink. "I've never met a child who doesn't like waffles."

"Good."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John and Emmy had just come in from outside. Emmy was chattering to Butler, her little voice barely pausing to take a breath. The dog made a happy sound, as she scratched him right behind the ears. Anna's eyes fell to her daughter and she gave her a small smile.

"Why don't you go and wash your hands, Emmy? I made breakfast."

Emmy glanced up, her own smile fading from her lips. With the blank stare looking back at her, Anna swallowed hard. Then Emmy nodded, got up, and walked to the bathroom to wash her hands. Butler whined, losing his companion, and curled up on his bed by the door.

"You should wash your hands too," Anna told John.

"Right," John replied. He walked up to the sink and washed his hands. Anna stepped aside, feeling awkward with him near her. She found that it was hard to talk to him now. They could speak about Emmy, of course, but everything else seemed out of reach.

To busy herself, Anna brought the food to the table, making sure she had syrup and fruit. There was too much food for three people, but she didn't know what Emmy liked to eat, not anymore. Five years ago, she could have made a meal with all of her favorites. The evening before, she ordered them pizza for dinner after asking Emmy if she liked pizza. She hoped she liked breakfast.

John grabbed some plates to help set the table. They avoided one another, so they didn't accidently touch. And then stood until Emmy came back into the kitchen.

"Let's sit. I hope you like waffles!" Anna brightly said, her voice still feeling strange to her. "I tried to make lots of options. You can have whatever you'd like. Would you like some milk to drink?"

Emmy eyed the food on the table and then sat down in the chair across from Anna. She nodded.

"Yes, please," she quietly replied. Anna quickly rushed into the kitchen to pour her a glass of milk. Then she walked back in and placed it in front of Emmy.

John was already sitting at the head of the table. He was back in his seat, a seat he hadn't sat in for over five years. The night before, they had eaten in the living room on TV trays and watched a movie. It felt strange with him sitting there, familiar, but painful. It reminded Anna of a time when things were simpler.

"So," Anna started, breaking herself out of her own thoughts. "I was thinking that we could go shopping today. You need new clothes, shoes, and a nice jacket for the winter. Also, we could go to the toy store. All the toys we have are from when you were three. I don't know what types of toys you like now and we have five years of birthdays and Christmases to make up for." Anna realized she was rambling and she paused to allow Emmy a chance to speak. Emmy cut into her waffle and took a small bite, looking as though she thinking it over. Her hair was down and there was a slight knot on the side. "I could braid your hair," Anna offered. "You used to love it when I'd braid your hair."

Emmy met her eyes. "I like it down."

"Right," Anna inhaled. "Right, you have long hair. It's very pretty."

She caught John eyeing her, as though he was willing her to stop talking. In the past, before, he would have placed his hand on her knee and given it a loving squeeze to tell her she was rambling. But now things were different. She clamped her lips together and tried to allow Emmy time to process all that she had said.

"Where are my grandparents?" Emmy then asked, looking around behind her.

"They volunteer at the local library a few days a week. We could go by and see them, if you'd like."

Emmy nodded. "I like them. They're fun. Grandpapa taught me a magic trick last night."

"Oh really?" Anna said with a smile. "Which one?"

But Emmy didn't answer. Her attention went back to her food. Anna tried not to show the disappointment on her face. She and Emmy had only been around one another for a few days. She had to give her time, even though it had already been five years without her daughter.

To be continued...

Thank you for reading :) More soon!