Chapter Eleven

Crown of Glass

The next morning saw Patton with a great big smile, sitting on the edge of the bed, eating a breakfast that Virgil and Roman had prepared and brought in to him and Logan. Remy stopped by and brought Picani. Patton was overjoyed to see him, and Picani was just as excited. They hardly ever got to talk, even though they genuinely liked each other quite a lot. Picani was an imaginary figment that Roman had made a few years ago, but Remy had taken a shine to him and upgraded him to what he called a Sleepwalker. Basically an honorary side. The two of them stayed and chatted until Virgil came back in from doing whatever it was he had excused himself to do. It seemed that Remy was upset with him for one reason or another, because the second he came in, Remy pulled Picani away out the door. Calling good-bye as he stumbled over the threshold, Picani waved and smiled cheerily, Patton returning the gesture. Logan, surprisingly, invited Remus back over, who subsequently brought the rest of the dark sides. Patton smiled watching his family. Everything had changed so much, and yet everyone was still the same. Virgil and Nate were playing cards in the corner. Virgil would occasionally accuse Nate of breaking one rule or another and Nate would concede saying, yes he had broken the rule, because it was dumb, which would sometimes cause Virgil to throw a card at him. Roman was talking, telling a fantastic story about one of his adventures in Thomas's imagination, Judas and Remus practically hanging off of his every word. Occasionally, Logan would mumble something like, "Only in the land of fantasy would a plan like that work," or "How is he not dead yet?" Tom was sitting next to Logan, regarding him curiously.

"Logan," he asked. "How on Earth is this room even possible?" He looked up the walls, then back down. "My room is definitely different than anywhere you'll see on Earth, and so is Nate's, but why does your room not mirror where Thomas is?" He gave a fond, almost kind smile in Logan's direction.

"Thomas's taste and price range in both furniture and architecture proved too unsophisticated for myself, and I simply decided I no longer wished to mirror the real world. Aside from that, I find that it provides a more stimu-"

"How the hell did you just decide you didn't want to mirror the real world anymore? That's not how that works." Virgil snapped.

"Yes it is." Logan argued, nonchalantly.

"How?" Virgil demanded.

"Roman, care to explain? I assume you figured it out by now." Logan said, setting his tea cup down on the desk-which he had cleared off entirely while Patton was sleeping. Patton frowned, wondering if Logan was okay. He never wanted other people to do the explaining for him. Maybe the stress of being forced to care for him so closely was getting to him. He certainly hoped that wasn't what it was, but that was the most likely cause.

"Uhmmmm… I'm not sure I did it the same way you did." Roman said, having to cut off in the middle of his story to respond.

"Either way, how did you?" Logan snapped. Roman rolled his eyes.

"I simply told myself I could change it and imagined it to be that way, and it was changed." He said, crossing his arms. Judas shot Logan an annoyed look, then asked Roman to continue with his story, which he eagerly did.

"So how'd you do it Logan?" Virgil asked. He flicked Nate's hand away from the deck of cards without so much as looking over at him.

"Much the same way. In my studies to investigate what we are, I began experimenting with what abilities all of us may have. As I predicted, command over the structures of Thomas's mind is one thing all of us can do. Through sheer force of will alone we can change the way Thomas perceives things, and thus what exists to us." Roman's story was cut off again at Logan's words.

"Wait so my creation power is nothing? We can all do that?" He asked angrily.

"Not at all, actually." Logan corrected him calmly. "We only change Thomas's perception of pre existing things. We don't create something out of nothing, which is what you do. It's the difference between convincing someone that an apple is actually an orange and pulling an orange from thin air."

"Oh, weird. So if I tried hard enough, Thomas would see his house like a castle/mansion thing?" Roman asked.

"Most likely," Logan began, "however it is inadvisable. Changing Thomas's perception of the real world can damage his mental health, however, the closer our world mirrors the real one, the higher the chances of damaging our own and Thomas's mental health become through subconscious confusion."

"So the more fucked up I make things here, the better it is for Thomas?" Remus asked excitedly.

"No!" Logan cut in quickly. "The more unique we make things, not disturbing or dangerous. Filling Thomas's mind with something he fears or is repulsed by will also damage him." Virgil flinched noticeably, and looked down at his feet.

"Not you Kiddo." Patton assured him quietly. "You're different." Virgil didn't respond. He put his cards down on the table and stood up.

"I'll be back in a little while Patton." He said in a low voice, walking quickly out the door. He was gone before Patton could reply.

"Logan, I think you hurt Virgil's feelings." Patton said softly.

"What?" Logan replied. "How could I have done that? I hardly spoke to him. Is it because I hardly spoke to him?"

"No." Patton shook his head. "At least, I don't think so, but you did mention fear being bad for Thomas. You didn't say excluding Virgil, you said fear and I think he started questioning himself again." Logan gave a short nod and furrowed his brows.

"Virgil's lack of confidence in himself is definitely something we should work on with him." He replied.

"Am I okay enough to go find him?" Patton asked.

"Not so fast compadre." Roman said, standing up. "I'll go check up on Virgil. You stay here and get better." He walked towards the door, opening it.

"Okay kiddo, if you're sure." Patton said, laying back into the pillows again.

"I'm so glad everything's working out the way it is." Patton admitted. "There are a few rough spots, but all of us are starting to get along, and it really makes me happy."

"You're right about that, Pat."

"Thomas!" Patton squealed as he crossed through the door. "How are you kiddo?"

"I'm feeling great actually!" He said brightly. "Where's Virgil and Roman?"

"Just missed them." Judas said with an annoyed tone.

"So they left a while ago?" Thomas asked confused.

"Oh right, you don't know." Nate said. "Shit's changed while Pat was out."

"Yeah like what?" Thomas asked curiously, sitting in the chair Virgil had vacated earlier.

"Well, for one, the dark sides are under new management." Logan replied, gesturing to the black crown upon Remus's head.

"And we are working alongside each other better than we have since that one time in fifth grade." Nate pointed out. Remus snickered and Judas smirked.

"Please don't bring that up again. Are you all just trying to do Virgil's job now?" Thomas asked. Judas laughed.

"Sure, Thomas."

"Right, you still haven't explained what happened with him. " He remembered.

"Roman defeated Lucius, that's how Remus became king, and he freed Judas and Nate from their figurative ferric prisons." Logan informed him.

"So they can choose to tell the truth or follow the rules if they want to?" Thomas asked.

"Yes, exactly." Logan replied.

"He's amazing isn't he?" Judas sighed. Thomas visibly held back a laugh but said,

"Yeah, yeah he is." Patton giggled. He felt a little bad for him, seeing as he was so clearly taken with Roman and he and Virgil were very clearly together, but he knew he'd get over it and move on. Logan and Tom had struck up a conversation, Patton noting that Tom was very calm for the embodiment of chaos.

"So Pat, when do you think-" Thomas was cut off by Princey's voice from the other side of the door saying,

"Mother f-" And a loud 'thump'. Everyone in the room was dead, silent, watching the door. It slowly began to creak open, and on the other side was Roman and Virgil. Virgil's face was arranged into a slightly confused expression, while Roman was glaring at him ever so slightly. His glare disappeared, however, and he smiled brightly at everyone. "Brought Virgil back guys!"

"Woo!" Thomas cheered.

"Yay! Hi, Virgil!" Patton gushed, though he was definitely confused at their actions. Logan cut off from his conversation with Tom, and rose to greet them.

"It was brought to my attention that I may have caused you slight emotional pain." He said to Virgil, guiding him back in. "I would like to offer an apology as it was not my intention to do so. You do your job well, and I did not aim to 'throw shade' with my comment." Virgil snorted at Logan's attempt to use one of his flashcard vocabulary words and smiled slightly.

"It's fine." He said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I overreacted, I should've known you weren't talking about me.

"Hey Teach, is Pat good enough to move to the commons yet?" Roman asked, raising up two DVD cases and smiling brightly.

"If Patton can stand without feeling ill, then I see no reason he cannot transition to the common area. So long as we do not apply too much stress to him, that means be calm and try not to yell." Here, Logan looked sharply at both Remus and Roman. Patton giggled again, and sat up on the edge of the bed, swinging his legs over the side. He waited for a moment to see if the dizzy feeling from the day before would come back, but it didn't. He beamed up at Logan.

"I think I'm good to go!" He said cheerily. "But… if someone could throw me a shirt, I'd definitely appreciate it." He blushed again.

"I got you, Compadre." Roman said fondly. He traced out the basic shape of a shirt and suddenly was holding one. It was a white T-shirt with a blue heart on the front. He tossed it to Patton, who nearly dropped it twice, then pulled it on over his head.

"Thanks kiddo!" He said happily.

"No problem, Patton." Roman said gently. He put his hand on the underside of Patton's arm in order to help him stand, but when he did, Patton felt the whole world shift beneath his feet. It wasn't the dizzy feeling again, this was what it felt like to fly very quickly upward, and then stop immediately, but he wasn't moving. Roman's smile seemed to be more fake the longer he looked at it. And the color around him seemed to fizzle and pop, and Patton realized. He was so stupid! This was another layer of wherever it was that he had gotten himself into. And the real Roman was here to save him again. This time, Patton swore to himself, he would not leave Roman's side. Roman locked eyes with him meaningfully. "You ready Pat?" He asked. Patton nodded firmly.

"Lead the way." He said. And suddenly his feet weren't on the ground anymore. He was in Roman's arms, who had revealed his grey, faded exterior once more and took off, out of the room. Someone yelled out his name, but Roman didn't stop running, and Patton chose to trust him. He tightened his grip on his shoulders and squeezed his eyes shut. Wherever Roman was taking them, he had to trust that it was where he needed to go. Roman would never lie to him in his right mind, that he was sure of. It was a few minutes before Roman stopped moving, and Patton opened his eyes again. They were in a very small, dark room and Roman was breathing heavily. He gently placed Patton back on his own two feet. He took a final deep breath, then straightened up, breathing normally again.

"I'm sorry Patton." He apologised with a sad look. "All of this is my fault."

"It's okay kiddo." Patton forgave him easily. "You couldn't really control yourself."

"Even so." Roman argued, If I had saved you on the first level, we wouldn't have to go through all of this."

"What do you mean?" Patton asked, suddenly feeling like he was missing something.

"Now that we've gotten a second level deep, we can't just leave through the mirror again. We have to go all the way down. All the way to the afterwards." He said.

"What? But the afterwards can't be real. We don't die." Patton pointed out.

"No, but we fade. Remember, Logan believes the afterwards is true… we figured out this layer thing together one night when neither of us could sleep. Remy even tested it out, said it was true, it was the only thing that made sense to us, and we're convinced it's the truth."

"So… do you know what it will look like all the way down, or even how far that is?" He asked nervously.

"No." Roman admitted. "But we have to try, it's the only way we'll get back to the others." Patton nodded.

"How?"

"I have an idea." Roman said after a second. "There is one thing we know will be down there. Your crown. So if I hold on to you, and you follow your own feeling, we should be able to find it. You should be able to take us right to it, and I can get us back from there."

"Are you sure?" Patton asked.

"No." Roman replied. "But it's the only chance we have." Patton nodded again. They had to do this.

"Breath in slowly." Logan instructed. He was sitting cross legged, with the straightest posture possible. Thomas and Virgil were facing him, also cross legged with good posture, their hands in their laps. They did as they were instructed and slowly inhaled. "Good." He waited for a second longer. "Exhale." They did, slowly letting out their breath. "Keep in mind, that breathing should actually come mostly from the diaphragm. Your stomach should be rising and falling more than your chest." Anya walked into the room they were practicing breathing exercises in with a plate of fruit and cheese slices.

"Hey guys!" She said brightly. Logan opened one eye.

"Hello, again." He acknowledged her with a slight smile. He closed his eye again and continued his deep breathing. Thomas gave a half-hearted smile to her.

"They still haven't gotten back, huh?" She asked. Virgil opened his eyes.

"No." He grumbled. "They're probably not coming back at all." He scuffed his shoe into the carpet a few times, scowling at it like it had done him a personal injustice.

'Oh for the love of all things Crofters, will you stop saying that?" Logan snapped. Virgil flinched and Logan sighed. "I'm sorry, but them being gone is hard on me too, okay?" Virgil nodded.

"I'm sorry too, I just can't help but always think worse case scenario." He said quietly. "I just want them back." Anya frowned.

"So… you guys are Thomas's emotions, right?" She asked. Logan nodded. "Yes we are, though I am less of an emotion and more of a cognitive function."

"Right, so… if we could somehow get Thomas to feel an emotion, would it draw them back?"

"Thomas can't feel those things, that's the entire issue. It will never work." Virgil huffed.

"Never say never, we must try!" Logan declared, shooting to his feet. Virgil gave him a shocked look.

"Since when do you think like that?" He asked suspiciously.

"It's a long story, but it involves; Remy, Caesar, a jar of mislabeled Crofters jam, and a room made out of black and white checkered tiles." He responded seriously. "It's a thrilling tale and I wish to do it justice."

"Did you just quote Albus Dumbledore?" Virgil asked blankly.

"Yes." Logan nodded. "Thomas, we need to inspire you!" He said. Thomas looked at him with a doubtful expression. "We need to get you thinking. An idea. Something, practically anything."

"Acid brain sex zombies." Remus popped up behind him.

"Ah." Logan said, unamused. "It's the Duke."

"Boo."

"Who the fuck?" Anya asked.

"I'll fuck just about anyone." Remus replied, wiggling his shoulders. Logan blinked, looked down at the floor, raised his hand up above his head, then looked back up again. He snapped his fingers and a thick cord shot up around Remus and wrapped around his mouth.

"Usually, I wouldn't want Thomas repressing anything, but having the duke as his only source of inspiration is not safe for anyone." He said crossly. "I apologise, Anya, I should have warned you, but I didn't think any of them would be irresponsible enough to do this." He explained.

"Oh, so it's irresponsible to talk to real people if you're a dark side, but just fine if you're a light side?" Nate challenged, rising up from the floor. "I see how it is. We're not perfect enough to fit into your little world huh? None of us are good enough for others to know about."

"I didn't say that." Logan said. "I meant irresponsible enough to try and tip the balance more than it has been already. Is it not clear that Thomas is suffering?" He gestured to Thomas who was currently sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest. There was a small 'pop' sound, and Kohan was sitting at his side.

"Panda, whas wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, it's fine Kohan." Virgil replied instantly, and Deceit rose up behind him.

"How many of these fuckers are there?" Anya asked Thomas. "No offence." She added hastily to Logan, who happened to be closest to her.

"Some taken." He admitted neutrally. "There are quite a few. For however many emotions people feel, there is one of us, and a few others like myself, the Duke, or Deceit that are not emotions, but are cognitive functions. "Of the sides that have specifically made themselves known, there are 13 including the one responsible for Thomas's sleep cycle. However, it is typically accepted that there are quite a few more." Anya blinked.

"Wow, really?" She asked. Logan nodded.

"Why is it that Thomas has given us permission to show ourselves?" Judas asked.

"He needs his friends to understand what is going on right now." Logan answered.

"Hold on, hold on, hold on." Virgil said suddenly. "Did you just say friends? As in plural? You told other people? Have you lost it?"

"Virgil-" Logan began, but Virgil was murmuring to himself, clearly unable to hear him.

"What's up with him?" Anya asked, concerned.

"He's afraid." Chaos appeared suddenly by Logan's side.

"This is true." Logan conceded, inclining his head. "Things are getting a little out of hand." He added, watching with concern as Thomas dissolved into a panic attack.

"Everyone's going to hate me." He choked. And that's when Logan realized. He was sad. There was only one side that could make Thomas switch between happy and sad.

Patton was near.

"Wait!" Patton cried, stopping dead in his tracks.

"What is it?" Roman asked immediately. Gazing around as though worried they may be being followed.

"Thomas! I can feel him, he's here somewhere." He said joyfully.

"That's not po- wait! Patton we're getting closer, this is the last layer." He said, smiling brightly.

"Roman, we made it!" He exclaimed, hugging the fanciful side and smiling just as big. But then he stopped, and he realised. "If we go back, won't you lose all your color again?" He asked.

"It'll be worth it." Roman said bravely. "Logan said he may be able to fix me, and Thomas will be at least mostly okay again anyway. Besides, we both promised Virgil, didn't we?" Patton nodded. "Let's find that crown and get the fuck out of this hell hole." Roman growled.

"Language." Patton chided. "What's so special about the crown?" He asked.

"Well, if Lucius's is anything to go by, then it holds power over Thomas's mind. It's our way out of here, and it's the way to restore balance. You might even be able to give me my color and feelings back." He replied.

"Then we need to find it." Patton agreed. The looked around. The layer they were on was dark and echoey, just like the others after the second layer were. Roman thought that it may have been because Patton went into them, knowing that they were fake, because that's how Roman had seen the first two, as well. There was almost nothing. Just darkness. No feeling of a floor or ground. It was like hanging off of the monkey bars and being just not quite able to reach the ground with your feet, but it was very off putting without the feeling of holding on to something to keep you there. They held onto each others' sleeves so they wouldn't get separated, and walked around the vast, empty nothingness until… they saw a light. Two actually. Gently glowing,soft blue, and dimly pulsating indigo. They picked up pace, speeding toward them, they were so close.

There were two crowns. One was clearly meant for Patton. Pastel green vines, flowering with delicate-looking blue blossoms shaped as hearts, glowing with a sparkling, shimmering aura, and rustling as though a gentle breeze was passing over it. The other was actually incredibly basic. Just a silver crown with a bird etched into it. Nothing special.

"Logan." Patton said, looking at it. "We should bring it to him. It's his." He was sure of it. It was supposed to go to him.

"Okay." Roman conceded. "You take yours, I'll bring this one with us, we'll give it over to him then." Patton picked up his crown and placed it on his head. Roman picked up the silver crown in both hands, extending his elbow for Patton to grab hold of. Patton grasped his arm.

"How am I supposed to work this?" He asked.

"I don't know!" Roman wined. "I don't know how this is supposed to work, we only even thought it would be down here. I didn't even know!"

"Well, we're going to have to find some way to get home." Patton said. Just as the words left his mouth, the silver crown in Roman's hands began to buzz and hum, vibrating and glowing brighter. The ground began to shake, everything began to spin, shifting. Patton clung closer to Roman, and it started to feel as though they were sinking through the ground.