Took me long enough, right? Well, hope you guys enjoy this one, I know I enjoyed writing it. Please do leave a comment if you want me to upload faster. I won't lie, and the lack of reviews for the last chapter sort of pulled me off a bit... but don't worry, you'll still get this, I'm planning on finishing it, but as most of you know, it's easier to write when you get reviews. Anyway, I did have two lovely reviews for chap. 22, and I thank you guys for those!
I hope everyone's staying helthy!
Of course Harry Potter doesn't belong to me.
11th of April, 1977
"Ugh"
A page was flicked
Tsk
He had to re-read the same line.
"Aaarg"
Finally, he sighed and pulled the notes away.
"Are you making all of those sounds because you want me to ask what's wrong?"
"Look at this!" The blonde cried in outrage as she stood up from the chair and made her way towards where Sirius laid on the couch. She gestured for him to move his head so she could sit next to him.
With a groan, he did just as asked, and she handed him the letter
"There. Second paragraph, look at what she wrote"
Sirius rolled his eyes one last time, but did as instructed, trying to get done with it as quickly as humanly possible so he could resume what he was doing earlier, which he considered to be far more important and interesting than what Natalia was showing him – which was saying something, since those were notes from James, for the next Quidditch practice which wasn't due to happen for at least another month and which he totally didn't need, since he had heard James go over them at least a dozen times before he had actually written them down.
"Regarding your suggestion to use jonquilles instead of roses, I'm afraid that won't be possible since mother is allergic to jonquille" he read under his breath. Then, looked up to her and asked: "What's a jonquille?"
"Daffodils, my favourite flowers. She's so dumb she doesn't even know how to say it in English. Never mind, keep reading" she commanded, pointing with her chin towards the letter.
He sighed and read on: "Besides, you should focus on your studies. Petra told me you struggled a lot. I have my cousin, who will be my maid of honour and she can help while you study at that school of yours until-
"There! Can you believe her?" She exclaimed, pointing indignantly towards the piece of parchment, and looking at him as if she expected him to agree with her and come up with a thousand different ways to refer to whoever that letter was written by.
"Your daffodils suggestion has been declined?"
"No! Well, yes it has, which is a shame because at the end of the day, it'll be her wedding the one that'll be ruined. Everyone knows roses have been out of fashion for decades now and that the smell becomes unbearable after a while when in great quantities. She should be grateful I even presented her with the idea of daffodils, which is my favourite flower-
"You already said that"
She ignored him and continued as if nothing.
"and one would think I'd rather keep the idea of using daffodils for my own wedding, since those are my favourites and not hers; not to mention she's such a detestable woman that doesn't deserve to have such pretty flowers, but I did it because I like doing nice things and because I want Sebastian's wedding not to be a complete failure. Is bad enough that the bride looks like a gremlin"
Sirius sat up, seeing as the conversation wasn't going to end as soon as he'd have preferred. Then again, he should know by now, that any conversation that was being held with the blonde, no matter what subject, tended to last the same as old Binns' classes.
"But that's not what I'm most upset about. The last part, did you see?"
Sirius looked down at his hands, to re-read what could be so upsetting, for he did not remember noticing anything that was worth the drama. However, she didn't wait, and snatched the letter from his hands and lightened him with the information.
"I have my cousin, who will be my maid of honor" she read, putting on a terrible French accent and spitting the words out "How dare she!"
He was quiet for a few seconds.
"Honestly can't see what's wrong with it"
Her head twisted to his side, and as they were only a few centimeters away from each other he was able to see the anger that was being sent his way. Apparently, he had said the wrong thing.
"What's wrong? What's wrong? I'm the groom's sister! His only sister and since she doesn't have any, It's only natural I should be the only option for maid of honor. Believe me; I've seen pictures of her cousins and they're as plain and simple as they come. I always assumed I was going to be maid of honor!"
The boy decided to stand up, not wanting to be near her in case she decided to squeeze some stuff. He had recently discovered she tended to do that when she was upset about something; she'd simply grab on pillows and thrust her nails into it. Once, when she was complaining about how annoying it was to have to share Jane's attention with Potter, she hadn't found any stuffed unanimated objects near, and the victim had been his arm. He had called her a lunatic after and she had made out with him as an apology.
Walking towards where his bag had been thrown a few hours before, he put the papers bag inside, deciding it could be continued the following day, since it was already pretty late.
"I really don't' see what's to dislike in your situation. You hate her, why do you even want to be maid of honor? It's stupid" he said, kneeling over his bag.
"Stupid?! It does not matter if I hate or adore her; it's about what's appropriate! Besides, I love weddings and the planning that comes with it and finally I have one in my family, and she thinks I'm supposed to just sit on the sidelines and let some tasteless French witches spoil everything? She's very mistaken, and I'll tell her so"
"So tell her" he sighed, still thinking the whole thing was not worth the struggle, but giving up at arguing about it. Merlin was he glad not to have any sisters or sisters in law.
"Oh, I will. But she won't listen to me, no, she hates me. I'll have to write Sebastian. In fact, that's what I'm going to do right now" and as she said that, she stood up and walked towards her slippers, stepping into them.
Sirius frowned, and shouted, while getting closer to where she was: "Wait, wait, wait! Are you leaving now? It's midnight!"
"Well, yes, sorry" she apologized, adjusting her bathrobe tightly around her waist "I want to write it now that I see what I have to say so clearly in my head, if I wait until tomorrow then the words won't be half as convincing as the ones I'm thinking of right now; and I don't have any of my papers in here"
"But we didn't get to do anything!" he complained, throwing his arms up in the air, an aura of disappointment visible on his frame.
"And whose fault is that? You were the one that said to wait"
"Yes, wait until I was finishing reading my notes! No wait forever!"
"Well" she shrugged, a small smile on her lips that pushed away the fervent feeling of indignation she felt towards her soon to be sister in law "You should've thought about it before. Anyway, we'll do something. Tomorrow, I promise"
He coughed, looking away: "I can't tomorrow"
"What? Why?!"
"I just can't. I have some stuff to do"
"What stuff?" Suspicion was clear on her face now and she had stopped dressing up or doing other things, putting all her attention on the boy's face instead, trying to catch anything that could provide her with information.
"I can't tell you"
"Why!"
"I just can't. It's something with the rest of the boys"
She stood there looking at him, both her arms crossed in front of her chest.
"Fine, you're telling the truth. But I still want to know, you know it kills me to be left out of information!"
He frowned, almost as if he had been insulted "How do you know I'm telling the truth?"
And as she packed the last things inside her back, she threw him a distracted look over the shoulder "Well because of you brows!"
The frown deepened.
"What do my eyebrows have to do with anything?"
"Well, I should not be telling you anything, since you're not telling me your secrets, but every time you lie about something you lift the right one and lower your left. It's all very funny" she explained casually, unaware of the look of surprise Sirius was wearing "Anyway, come on, off we go"
With half his things still inside the room, he could've told her to go by herself, but he didn't, since he found it hard to think of anything at the moment. She was noticing things he wasn't even aware of. Could it be that perhaps things were getting a bit out of hand?
Well, he could pounder about it after he got rid of Natalia Yaxley's impatient eyes.
Sirius had acted weird as he walked her to the point where they always split up, she noticed. He hadn't made any jokes nor had he demanded for his sweater back (a thing he always threatened her about, saying he'd ruin one of hers if she were not to return it by the next time they saw each other, but he never followed through). Well, she was sure his weirdness could be blamed on whatever it was he was doing the next day and refused to tell her about.
There was no doubt she would have to get more information about whatever that was; the fact that she believed him that it was indeed something that implied his male friends didn't mean she was satisfied with knowing just that.
Still, there was no time for her to think too much about it right then, since she had many other things to worry about. For once, everything concerning Eponine Delgrange, whom from the little corresponded that the two exchanged, proved not to have changed anything from the terrible attitude she held during Christmas break – she must've simply had a terrible personality, and there was nothing to be done about that.
Eponine was the main reason why Natalia had decided to decline the possibility of leaving the castle for Easter Break, and found herself mostly by herself while most of her friends were away having fun. Now, she wouldn't have minded that much going and seeing the French twat everyday if at least that could be done in her own manor, with her own elves and her own bed, but her parents had arranged for the family to spend the totality of Easter in France, at her mannor. The thought of being under a roof in which not only could she not rule, but her worst enemy was In power to command over her was simply too terrible, hence why, for the first time in her life, she had decided to stay at Hogwarts when on Holidays.
The castle could get boring during the day, and that was mostly due to the fact that the list of people to whom she could talk to in public was significantly shorter and much less interesting than when all the students were there. Simon had left towards England, as he was staying at Hippolytus', since they needed to be near the main quarters for everything concerning the Dark Lord, and Hippolytus lived in a busy neighborhood in London, quite chic; Jane had also abandoned her, and went away with her family after by correspondence mistake they had found out about her relationship with Potter and demanded to see them both in person to congratulate them – still, during her five days of absence she had written Natalia twice already, so she made up for her lack of physical presence; everyone else who she may have wanted to have a conversation with had also left, and from her year there were only the Notts and Severus Snape left in Slytherin. The only people with whom she spent time with were Amelia Avery, who had stayed to study; Remus Lupin, from time to time; and of course, Sirius Black.
Not that it had to do with the reason why she had stayed, but being able to pretty much have the castle for themselves had worked wonders between the two of them. They were able to see each other for much longer periods of time; seriously, on Monday they made out inside a brooms closet in the middle of the day. Besides, none of them had to worry too much about people seeing them. Yes, things were getting hotter and heavier – like the weather.
Anyway, going back to insufferable Eponine; the thought of seeing her again almost spoiled Natalia's treasuring of the soon approaching summer holidays, which came with the promise of a wedding. From what she was informed, the ceremony would take place on the last week of June, the same in which they would arrive from Hogwarts. She still had to find a suitable dress for it, one that would hopefully be prettier than Eponine's.
The next morning, holding onto her freshly written letter, Natalia made her way through the Hogwarts corridors, ready to deliver that letter to Juno so it would soon reach her brother, who would surely put some sense into his fiancée's head. The people who she found were whispering at the owllery, she was not expecting to see: Marlene McKinnon and Lily Evans.
Natalia was aware of the presence of both witches in Hogwarts. The reasons why the two had decided to stay remained unknown to her and she wished to keep it that way, for she held no desire to fill her head with unnecessary information about people whose existence she cared so little about; still the fact that she caught his name escaping her lips just the second she was about to climb that one last step made her stop right away and instead, remain unspotted and listen to what they had to say.
"I swear he has never been like this" a worried McKinnon let out, as she tied a closed envelope to a white, big, owl "He doesn't even look at me anymore! And I keep wondering if maybe I did something wrong, but honestly I've got no clue what it could be" the distress on her tone and the words that she spoke made it impossible for Natalia not to smile.
It wasn't that she had any doubts about the fact that Sirius was not toying around with the Gryffindor blonde, since she had made sure of that by keeping a hippogriff-like look over him for a while now and had been sneakily stealing information that Jane was able to obtain from Potter, but it was indeed nice to have a confirmation of it coming straight from the source.
"Oh Mar!" Evans whispered sweetly, passing a pale hand over McKinnon's arm "He's an idiot, that's what's wrong with him"
"I think I'm losing him, Lils" she let out after a few seconds of silence.
"Well good! That's a good thing, Marlene. You deserve better than him, I have always told you so. In fact, you don't even need a man to be happy you just-
"I love him, thought!" the girl cried, and Natalia simply knew by her tone, despite not being able to see her, that her eyes had watered "And I think he has someone else, I've been thinking about it for months and just now I'm brave enough to say it out loud. How pathetic"
The redhead frowned: "Are you sure?"
"Yes! Tell me you haven't noticed how weird he's been acting. Even weirder than normal, I mean. Not flirting with every walking thing anymore; when he goes to parties he stays with the rest of the boys…"
"Oh my God, I think you're right!"
"My God?"
"I mean Merlin" she quickly corrected herself "Who do you think it is?"
"I don't know!" the other girl cried, putting her palms on her cheeks "I don't even know I want to know"
"Well… whoever it is… it must be serious. I mean, for Black, if it's lasting longer than two weeks then it's very serious"
That gained her a not so friendly look from the blonde standing next to her. The expression on Natalia's face, however, happened to be very different.
"Thanks so much, Lils. You really know how to cheer a witch up"
"I'm sorry! I'm just trying to figure the whole thing out. Maybe there's no even a girl at all, you know? He's a strange person, that's what strange people do; they behave strangely without any reasoning behind it"
"I just know I have to do something to get him back"
And sensing their voices approaching the staircase, the Slytherin knew that she had overstayed her peeping and that it was better for her to come out at that very second, if she didn't want those Gryffindors thinking she cared for anything they had to say. So forcing herself to erase whatever trace of the impact of their information that may have been lingering on her face, she climbed the last couple of steps to the owlery.
When they crossed looks with each other, they gave each a look of disgust, but at the end, Natalia smiled – it made her glad, despite the Gryffindor not being aware of it, the two had been at war, and Natalia had won – there was nothing that made her quite so happy as winning.
"She's so creepy"
She heard Evans murmur her friend as they started descending, and not even that managed to wash Natalia's smile away. How was she supposed to feel regarding the possibility that those witches were right, and she was indeed, important to Sirius Black – she had no idea about; despite the fact of admitting she could, maybe, fancy the boy a little bit, that didn't mean she held any hopes for him liking her that way back; because, as she had explained to herself many times before, this 'relationship' the two shared, was not meant to last and soon, when she was to be married to a good hearted, hardworking wizard who believed in the power and importance of matrimony just as she did, she'd learn to forget whatever feeling she may've held for him.
So instead of pondering about something that was prone to give her a headache, she pushed the thought aside and instead focused on something she was very sure of how to feel about, and that was beating Marlene McKinnon in something that was wanted by her but on Natalia's power. In fact, she was not only defeating McKinnon, but many other girls who would've given anything to be on her position (not only economical, of class and beauty – for Natalia had always thought it to be so) but now, she was getting something hundreds of other witches desired, but only she had: Sirius Black's attention. The feeling was thrilling, and filled her chest with joy.
However, such thing, keeping Sirius Black, was not going to last if tall, smart, athletic looking Marlene McKinnon, who never complained to him nor squeeze his arms when she was nervous, did whatever she had in mind when she told her mudblood friend about 'doing something to get him back'. Yes that was thought enough to make Natalia stop smiling, tie the letter to Juno's leg and walk down the stairs with a frown on her face.
If McKinnon was doing something, then Natalia should do twice as much – and that's a thought that stuck on her head for the rest of the day.
However, she decided she could worry about what to do later, because first, she needed to find out what exactly was Sirius Black doing during the afternoon. Not only because she was of curious nature and felt she was ought to know, but mostly because she was terribly bored.
So, she went looking for the only person who could supply her with that sort of information, and that was her now not as new friend, Remus Lupin.
To say she was grateful she had such a kind person as Remus in her life would be an euphemism. How had she survived so many years of school without him by her side? Barely paying any attention to him? She was clueless about that. It wasn't a secret that Natalia Yaxley loved having friends, but failed miserably at obtaining them – the reason of that pretty obvious to her, jealousy. He was always sweet to her, and while her brother wasn't charmed about the idea of her spending time with a boy he knew almost nothing about, after being assured of his good name, he hadn't say much about it; and the best part was how it annoyed Sirius terribly when he'd see the two of them together – not out of jealousy, she was sure of that, but because it simply bothered him that she'd get along so easily with one of his friends.
Hoping he'd be at his common room, she made it there without catching anyone's attention, which was understandable, because there wasn't many people around and also, desirable, since despite the fact that it was known by most people who paid attention that she was friends with Remus she still wasn't comfortable with people watching her go straight to the lion's mouth just because.
"Oh, it's you again" the fat lady said, a curious look on her eyes "I have never seen one of your kind come here so many times, you must really like him
Still, he didn't look at her, but with a clenched jaw and looking as if he'd rather be anywhere else but there, he nodded and started walking her way, gesturing with his lips for Snape not to move, if he knew what was good for him and assuring Remus that whatever was going on, he'd end it soon.
Once he was close enough to the blonde and sure that no one else but her would be able to see his face, he allowed everything he was thinking to translate on his expression while whispering dangerously: "What on earth are you doing here?"
Natalia rolled her eyes, and whatever feeling of embarrassment she was feeling before vanished and felt her chest get filled with annoyance. There she was, trying to help him out and giving up on doing something that interested her, which was picking up information from other people, and the idiot dared treat her like that. Did he think she was there calling out for him just because she felt like it?
Either way, seeing the curious looks they were getting from the other three and not wanting for a second having people associating her to such a rude boy like Sirius Black, she said what she had to say.
"He's lying" she muttered back, throwing one quick glance at Snape. Sirius' frown told her he hadn't completely understood her, so she rolled her eyes and continued explaining "Snape has been waiting over ten minutes for all of you to come out and then he started following you"
His face went from confused to full of extreme anger, one she had grown unused to seeing after the last couple of months.
"That little son of a-
"Sirius!"
Pettigrew's shriek made him jump on his place and turn back to where his friends stood. One glance at Remus and he knew that his conversation could not last any longer. Asking her how she had gotten such information would have to wait.
Swallowing and giving her a nod of gratefulness, he asked: "Can you keep him entertained?"
"Huh?"
"Keep him busy for a few minutes. Please. Until we get out of the castle"
She wanted badly to ask where outside the castle was they were going, especially now that she had been given such an unpleasant task, but Sirius looked desperate and knowing he wasn't much of a fun of questions at times as such, she nodded.
"Fine" then, when he nodded again and seemed ready to turn away and leave, she cried for him to wait "Tell your friends I wanted to talk about my brother's wedding, since you're going."
One more time, looking at her as if she had done him the biggest favour on earth, he nodded and this time left for good, not without leaving a few words of warning to the other wizard. Natalia thought that whatever it was those 3 were up to it had to be very important.
Although disgusting, unappealing and extremely useless, talking to Severus Snape didn't prove to be of any difficulty for Natalia. It was talking to a dementor who every now and then would try to hurt his feelings without succeeding at it, since she'd have to be very stupid to care what a half blood like him thought of her.
Despite everything, it was clear that the boy didn't suspect a thing about why she was suddenly so interesting on keeping a conversation with him. He seemed to be unaware of the fact that she had been observing him while he waited for the Gryffindors and also, that she had informed Sirius about it, and that suited the witch right.
That done and all, she had the rest of the day for and by herself.
Among the many things she did, was to write to her best friend. How much she missed Jane! Not only because she was mostly all by herself in the castle, oh no, if she had been surrounded by a thousand pleasant and likeable people, she'd have still missed her dearly. So she made sure to transcribe those feelings in paper, deciding she'd owl it that very same day, so she could soon hear back from her and get updates on how her family reacted to her 'relationship' with James Potter; how effective was that new beauty potion she had bought before leaving that was supposed to vanish simples in 1 minute; how good was that turkey she and her family had for Easter every year?
Her letter took a long time to write because there was a lot to be said, but true to her wishes, she managed to attach it to Juno before the day was over. To say the owl was happy to finally get some job to do was a euphemism, since she was a work loving little creature who did well in Natalia's company because the witch tended to make extensive use of her services, but those last couple of days things had been different.
How so? One may ask. Well, it is safe to say that Natalia's reluctance to spend the Holidays with the rest of the family at the Delgrange's household had something to do with it. Petra Yaxley had referred to her attitude regarding the matter as absolutely despicable and stated that it'd leave the family on a state beyond embarrassment if she were to refuse to attend – and then, she added, and this is a literal quote from the harsh letter she dispatched to reach her daughter two weeks and a half ago: "Please, stop bringing this subject up, since there's no use on doing so, for you will be attending because your father and I won't have it other way"
Natalia didn't know what possessed her, but when she read those words, which very clearly implied that her opinion was as valuable as that of a squibs, she felt the greatest rage overcome her. Too bad at that moment she had paper and a quill at her reach, because she that lead her to write back, and not quite as respectfully nor loving as she had done before when asking for permission. No, on her second letter regarding the Easter Holidays matter, Natalia Yaxley was ruthless and left no room for doubt that she would not be spending a second in French territory during those two weeks.
Two more letters came from England after that one; one from her mother, who was clearly outraged, and another from her father asking her to reconsider, imploring her to put on a good attitude and demanding for her to apologize. She did none of those things her dear papa asked. In fact, she didn't even reply to that letter. All she sent back was a piece of parchment with the words 'I'll be spending Easter festivities in Scotland. Enjoy France" She had yet to hear from her parents after that.
It all could've been avoided, really, if her mother wasn't such a insensitive, tyrannical and cruel woman – yes, that's exactly how she'd describe her, and so had she told Sirius a week ago when she was telling him all about the matter; he had been, in fact, the one to come up with the word tyrannical, which she thought much appropriate and very fitting for a woman with Petra Yaxley's character. All Natalia had initially done was asking, in the most loving manner she found possible to articulate, to spend Easter with her brother, Simon, who was arranged to stay in England for those two weeks – had Petra denied with respect, she'd have never reacted the way she did.
No choice in the matter! Regarding where she spent her own Easter Holidays? Rubbish. She was sixteen years old! And if her brother, who was the exact same age as herself, only older for a few minutes, was trusted to decide where he wanted to spend two free weeks of his life, she should as well.
Of course the fact that she had initially counted with the support of Jane and the promise she'd be staying in the castle as well, accompanying her, played a big part on her choice of rebelling against her parents for perhaps the first time in her life – still, despite Jane not being able to stay, she had stood by her decision – Sirius had mentioned how surprised he was by her behavior, and he had seemed pleased as well. And she had learnt to be happy with her choices as well.
It was all very strange… to think that a few months ago she'd have rather died than challenging her parents in such way but after seeing how free (too free, if one asked her) Sirius Black walked through life, she guessed she wanted to try a bit of that too.
So long story short, letters stopped coming after that final update (because it would be too generous to call that a letter). It had surprised her greatly her father wouldn't have tried harder to convince her to go, in fact, she was angry at him for it – but it was for the best, she knew that; if he had dared beg a little bit too much, she'd have ended up giving in and what boring, terrible, sad Easter Holidays she'd have had. She guessed Sebastian would've written if he had the time for it, but he was working far too much, and although she had made Simon promise he'd at least send her a few words, she knew he'd be too busy as well.
Anyway, instead of crying over spilled potion, she decided to do another of her favourite things in the castle, and that was visiting Harvey.
Her visit proved to be fruitful, since she spent at least four hours of her time and ended up leaving with her robes filled with white short hair which she'd have to get rid off before she encountered Matilda, since her darling pet was indeed very jealous.
There had been just one unpleasant thing about her visit, besides those awful biscuits.
"You do know your creatures" he had stated, as he settled the kettle on to make some more tea.
Such allegation came from their previous conversation, when they had been discussing if it was possible to find Occamy eggs in Great Britain, a question she had claimed to be positive, since she had the most gorgeous set of Occamy egg shell's eggs and she knew for a fact that those had been found just outside Northshire.
"Well, it's interesting" she shrugged, breaking the biscuit into small parts and grabbing one bit with the tip of her fingers and putting it on her mouth "And quite easy to remember"
"So are you thinking of a career?"
Natalia almost choked on the food and once she recovered her face was as red as it could get. Was that what people thought when she said she enjoyed learning and interacting with animals and other creatures? That she'd make a career out of that? Perhaps her mother was right and she should stop talking about it so openly.
"Of course not!" she cried.
The half giant rose one big bushy eyebrow at such a response. He had gotten used to putting his foot in his mouth, but he didn't think he had said anything improper at that given time.
"Why not?"
The girl looked at him as if he were stupid.
"Are you honestly asking that?" she asked, truly confused "What'd make you think I'd need to follow a career? Are you implying I won't find a good husband before I graduate?"
Hagrid felt himself go speechless, something unusual on him, since he loved talking almost as much as he loved meeting monsters. How did she get such implications from his simple question? Well, instead of arguing with her over it, he decided to change the subject and pour the tea.
"Not at all" he smiled gently, handing her a cup "Wouldn't you like giving him his bottle?"
That was good enough of a distraction, and soon she had forgotten all her previous shown afflictions, allowing poor Hagrid to let out a sigh filled with relief.
By the end of the night Natalia had managed to ignore all homework and assignments that she was supposed to be working in so they'd be finished by the end of Easter; finish, instead, four chapters of a love novel Jane had left behind and that she rather liked and wasn't too trying to read; and most importantly, she knew what she'd do about Sirius Black.
Liked it or not, truth was that Black was popular, charming, rich, smart, handsome, pureblood, and if one didn't take into account his reckless and at time rude personality, he could be catalogued as the perfect wizard, and, liked it or not, she knew that she fancied him, perhaps, even more – she cared about him.
Now, those two things combined lead to the fact that many other witches, Marlene McKinnon especially included, wanted to gain his favour as well and they'd try many things in order for that to happen and Sirius Black had proved to be somehow loyal to his word of not seeing anyone else when he was with her, but for how long would that last? He was a boy, and boy's his age, especially a boy as popular and with a reputation as his… they had needs and until then, all she had ever done with him was making out and some touching, so she wondered, when would he get tired of that? When would he decide to give in, get bored, and fly away to McKinnon's or any other witches' arms?
It was pathetic, worrying about that, she knew that. All her life, she had stood by the idea that she was the closest thing to perfection and that it should be others the ones imploring to be in her life, not the other way around but now she seemed desperate to keep Sirius Black by her side and not only so she could feel victorious and comfirm her superiority to other witches for having something they did not, but because she needed him – he understood her like few others, always amused her and no matter how many things he did to annoy her, to contradict her and her believes, she couldn't seem to want him gone.
How stupid had she been, all those months ago, agreeing to that deal he had presented her, thinking it would not have repercussions. If she could go back she'd tell herself to deny his offer, to curse his guts and never to look at his direction again; although, that may have not been enough. No, going back to that night at her manor when they had danced and drunken firewhisky and kissed or even to the Hufflepuff party wouldn't have been enough.
She was now completely at his mercy.
And how could she not? He always listened to her when she had a problem, and he had no obligations to do so – Jane and her brother did, because they were family and friends, but Sirius was none of them, Merlin, sometimes he didn't even like her but he still listened to her, still cared and for some reason, was the only one who understood her – no matter how little sense it made, it felt as if the two were the same person, as if their souls were made of the same matter. Not only that, he made her see things differently and got her to stand up for herself to her parents, she would even go as far as saying he inspired her somehow: the way he didn't care what his parents would do or say while he stood for his ideals (which she still thought were terrible and needed to be changed) made her think why shouldn't she do the same? Why should she be a little Imperious puppet to her mother?
Most importantly, Sirius Black made her feel wanted; made her feel smarter, prettier and way more interesting that how other people made her feel.
She was screwed, because if what the two had going on didn't stop soon, she knew he'd do something or say something that'd made her finally do that thing she had always dreamed of and now feared, and that was falling in love. It was a matter of time really, if one thought how quickly her simple 'Interest' for the boy had escalated into 'fancying' him. She feared that day and knew it was on her power to stop it, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
So instead, indulging herself, she was going to do whatever was on her power to keep him around, next to her. If she was lucky, she'd either fall out of his bewitchment or he'd change all those dangerous, rebellious and nasty habits he had, like sticking up for people beneath them. On the worst of cases, she'd fall in love and he'd stay the way he was, providing her life with a lot of problems – and even that didn't seem as bad as losing him did.
Her plan was simple and humiliating, desperate, but most likely effective. She'd give herself, all of her, to Sirius Black. She was, in a way, betraying all her values and most precious ideas: waiting to marriage and more importantly, for the man who would be her husband; all the romance she expected should be implied, and many others, but at least, she'd have him.
For the whole following day, she felt sick. For the first time in her life she could not even have a bite without feeling like she'd throw up. She looked so pale and quiet, that at lunch, Amelia Avery pointed it out.
"Is it because of your brother?"
To that, Natalia frowned in confusion. As far as she knew, there wasn't a reason to worry about any of them. Still, she appreciated the distraction.
"Because of his training, silly" Amelia said as she sipped on her water.
"What about it?"
This time, it was the other blonde the one who looked confused.
"Well, because of the things they're trying out" she stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Upon seeing Natalia's face, she added "Didn't Simon tell you about it?"
"He hasn't been writing" the girl replied with a shrill of a voice, her worry certainly escalating.
She was also feeling quite stupid as well, because how on Merlin's beard had she not seen It as a possibility.
It was clear Amelia agreed with her, on thinking she was rather stupid, judging by the way in which she said her next words: "Of course not. Can't imagine they have the time" she laughed, as if the younger girl had said the most ridiculous thing "Albert showed me their itinerary before leaving. I'll be surprised if they even manage to lift up a quill" then, grabbing another piece of bread she asked, as if she still couldn't wrap her finger around it "Are you sure your brother didn't even mention it?"
That question, as obnoxious as it was, helped her focus on another thing that wasn't worry for a second and clenching her jaw, Natalia answered: "He's not much of a talker"
"Well, that you're right" the girl agreed, taking a spoonful of rice. She had tried making conversation with him a few times, after all he was handsome and athletic, but talking to a wooden broom and him equaled the same thing "Are you sure you're not hungry?"
After denying once more, their conversation died and Amelia soon was immersed on a conversation with Justin Greengrass, another wizard from her year, leaving Natalia alone with her thoughts which went from profound worry for her stubborn but loved brother who refused to tell her anything of importance; fear of whatever it was going to happen that night with Sirius Black and annoyance towards the other Slytherin who had so obviously implied with her gestures and the way she'd look at her every now and then, that she considered Natalia to be a naïve girl who had no idea of her surroundings - and what was worst, she was probably right.
Anyway, focusing on a problem at the time she had decided she'd try giving Sirius some sort of sign, so they could meet later, before she got too afraid and made up some sort of long term illness and managed to avoid him until she stopped needing him every two bloody seconds. She had tried getting his attention during breakfast but neither he nor the rest of his friends were there, and she knew she should've taken that as a sign but…
Turned up, she didn't even have to worry about finding a way to steal his attention, since the minute she stood up she felt a tiny parchment dove fly straight into her hair. It barely hurt and because of her curls it didn't fall to the ground and she was able to carefully take it off. After frenetically flipping her head from side to side to make sure no one had seen it, she decided to direct her vision toward where she was sure had come from.
And there he was, staring right at her as he continued to talk and joke with his friends who of course were too focused on his jokes and whatever it was he was saying to even notice his eyes were meters away. With their eyes locked she knew then that any backing up was not even an option – she wanted him to always look at her that way and if she had to ensure it by doing what she was planning on doing, so be it.
Flipping her head over her shoulder, acting as natural as possible, she broke visual contact and walked towards the door. He followed her with his eyes for some time, but of course she wasn't able to notice that.
Outside, she broke the little dove open, and saw what was written in that pretty yet careless handwriting of his. It was short, and some might've thought coarse, but it made her smile: "8pm? Bring food"
So she walked to her room, one part of her wishing 8pm would never come, and another that couldn't wait for it to be already done and forgotten and that was she was planning on doing did its hoped effect.
How would she spend those eternal seven hours until their meeting, she had no idea, but she was sure of one thing: for her own sake, she should keep herself busy, unless she wanted to go crazy.
So she did exactly that, keep herself occupied: she wrote to her brother, Simon, this time, and demanded explanations why he had decided not to tell her about such important information regarding his Easter weeks – the scolding also included Hippolytus, and she had made sure her twin would mention him about it. In her extended letter, however, she also made sure to express her concern for his safety and risking making the boy sick, she told him how much she loved and worried about him, and how proud he made her.
After making sure that letter would be delivered, she decided changing her nails and toes colors over three times was appropriate and worth her time, so she went from pale pink – which she had on since the past week, to purple and then to a soft baby blue one. She'd have liked to have a pretty pink one considering the bigs events of the night, but she had ran out of potion for that one.
Then she went over all of her clothes, searching for something appropriate to wear and despite owning more clothes than the regular witch, nothing seemed to be able to convince her. Once three outfits were put aside for further inspection later, she allowed herself to worry about… a different sort outfit. While all of her underwear pieces were what could be called pretty and quite expensive, she wouldn't dare to call it anything but that – on the other hand, Marlene McKinnon's lacey one she had gotten to see that that one time she had walked on her and Sirius making out… well, that one could be given plenty more adjectives. Why hadn't it crossed her mind to buy sexier underwear? Of course there hadn't been any need… but she could've done it anyway… a lot of girls did it. All she had was white and pink.
With a sigh she settled by a pretty white cotton one, with a small rose in the middle. Besides… she wasn't supposed to keep them on for long, after all. Pushing the shiver said thought gave her; she kept on doing other things.
Grabbing Peaches and a romantic novel she had been reading since the past year and fully protected against the still present winter with her scarf and gloves, she went out to the grounds. Her almost desperate need not to think about… that, forced her to actually read the whole thing, which wasn't too bad. Had she not received it as a present from her grandmother Elena about four Christmases ago, she'd have actually written to inform her that it was rather enjoyable.
When she heard the bells informing her it was 7:00pm, she posed a sad pair of eyes over her rabbit, who rested next to her over the blanket she had brought, chewing some carrots.
"I guess it's time, isn't it, Peaches?"
The rabbit only blinked.
With a sight, Natalia grabbed her stuff, pet included, and put them inside her tiny basket. It was inevitable, and the fact that she didn't exactly want it didn't mean she shouldn't put effort into looking good.
She spent the rest of the hour in her chambers, doing her hair as slowly as possible and singing to any tune she could think of – in fact, more than once her mind drove her to those David Bowie's songs she used to adore, but as soon as she realized what it was she was singing she'd automatically change it to something actually appropriate.
It was both a good and a bad thing that Dolores Nott seemed to be absent from their dormitory, but that happened most nights, since she preferred to spend the time with her cousin, in his room – for some reason, Snape's presence seemed not to bother them, Merlin knew why. The positive side of it was that there would be no question asked about her getting ready, the negative was… there would be no questions, meaning no talking, meaning she could start thinking.
She was over with it five minutes after eight. Standing in front of her full sized mirror, she dared to look only once, before running off to get her things, which of course included a box of chocolates (one of her last ones, since her father hadn't sent any and would likely not send for a while, after her behavior).
One part of her wished to get caught by a teacher; to get the rush of almost getting caught, at least. But nothing. She didn't even run into ghost or loud, noisy pictures, which were everywhere.
She made it to the requirement room around eight twenty.
Her legs were shaking when she made inside the room.
There, Sirius Black waiting laying on the couch, throwing a Quidditch ball – she wasn't even sure which one at the time – up and down. When he heard her come in, he let out a sigh.
"I swear to Godric, next time you're this late, I'll just leave"
"Sorry" she simply said, her voice merely a whisper, unable to move from her stop.
He had already stopped playing with the ball, a Quaffle she then noticed, and was now sitting and shrugging, and looking at her: "Nah, forget about it. I was only messing with you"
She tried smiling at him, for she guessed that was quite a nice thing to say, but there was no change on her facial expression.
Sirius frowned.
"I brought some wine" he informed, standing up and walking closer to the table, where a new full bottle of a fairly good brand of alcohol waited for him "Thought we could give ourselves a little celebration?" he let out playfully, turning his head over his shoulder to look at her as he grabbed two glasses of wine with his index and middle finger, and swayed them around "These used to be rats, by the way, so we have McGonagall to thank"
All he got back was a nod, a nervous one. Realizing whatever was eating her wasn't going away and that it looked rather serious, he put the two glasses back on the table, and turned fully to face her.
"What's going on?"
She opened her mouth once, but no sound came out.
He was about to ask again, as he walked closer, when she finally said something: "I...I have something to tell you"
Knowing nothing good could come from that phrase, Sirius nodded and waited for the punch. He had no idea whatever it could be about, and in fact, he didn't even want to think about it.
"I… I want to make love"
Well, that wasn't it.
He stood quiet, with a poker face on, waiting for her to clarify what she had just said, because he had obviously misheard that; but she never did, so he had to ask.
"What?"
This time, her voice, although still a bit shaky, came out stronger, at least on the first half of the sentence: "I want to have sex with you"
Sirius frowned, unable to believe what he was just hearing. How could that be possible? As far as they had gone was touching themselves over the clothes. Merlin, she didn't even want to take off her shirt, and now she wanted to have sex? Hadn't she gone mental months ago after they kissed because she wanted to save that for her future husband or something along those lines?
For the first time in his life, after those lines, he found himself asking: "why?"
"I just do" she said, lifting one shoulder as if to rest importance to it.
With legs that felt made from jelly, she walked closer to him knowing that if she didn't do that her next move would be getting out of the room and running to her chambers to never go out again and demand to be transferred to Durmstrang herself. Wanting to get over with it, she started kissing him, resting one hand over his cheek and while it took him a few seconds, soon he responded… only to pull apart a few seconds after.
She frowned.
"Natalia… what's going on?"
"Nothing" she almost shrieked "I already told you. How many more times do you want me to say it?"
He frowned.
"I don't know… it's weird. Why do you even want to do that?"
"I just told you! I just do. Do you ask every girl you sleep with why they want to do it?" her close to the tears voice let out, desperately.
"Every girl is not you" he said loudly, and after less than a minute, his eyes grew big, realizing he might've not been very bright when choosing his words "I mean…you're different"
"So you don't want to do it with me?" Natalia's offended voice asked, crossing her arms in front of her.
"What? Of course I do. You're bloody hot, I'm a guy, clearly I want to do it"
"Then why won't you?"
"Because it looks like you don't want to do it"
"But I already said-
"I know what you said... "He tried explaining, letting out a sigh "But I know you. You'll regret this… and it's not something you should regret"
He didn't get an answer after that.
Instead, he stared down at the ground; he hadn't meant for it to come out like a sweet thing… he just wanted her to come out of whatever trance she was on. When he looked up again, a sea of tears were coming off her drowned eyes.
"Natalia wh-why are you crying?" he said, distressed, running a hand through his hair. He still hated seeing girls cry "Don't… I really do want to have sex with you, I promise. You're one of the hottest girls I know of, it's just –
He never got to finish his explanation either. Her lips had caught his, but this time they felt alive, nothing like they have felt before. She had run both her arms around his neck, and was leaning against him. Tears were still streaming down her face, and some even reached his own lips, but he didn't mind. This time, she was laughing as she kissed him, and Sirius could feel how warm she was.
She pulled away after a few minutes of the strangest and yet most perfect kiss both had ever had (not that they would admit that to anyone), and the two of them stared at each other for a few minutes – both their cheeks were flushed and their hair a bit messy.
She smiled at him: "Do you want some chocolate?"
It had happened, what she feared so. It felt good, and it had happened. She would regret it later, there was no doubt of that, but at that time she felt the happiest she had… ever felt. She was in love with Sirius Black... and there was no going back.
