Hi guys! Hoping everything's good with you. Once again, sorry for the long wait! Here's some Natalia and Sirius content for all of you to make up for it.
Also, a very special thank you to leleMichaelson, AnimeLover345643, MessyMindYou, TheQuincy, Lulu111 and Nana who reviewed my last chapter. Believe it or not, I forced myself to finish this one after reading Lulu's request for me to upload so I'm hoping you guys will like this one!
Next chapter will probably have most characters in it for those missing Regulus, Simon, Hippolytus, Jane and James -
Please review, you don't know how much it helps!
17th of April, 1977
Morning sunlight touched his face and a small smile made an appearance.
His left hand reached for his stomach and absentmindedly scratched the naked skin.
Warmness was all he could feel, since it seemed to be coming from everywhere, but more so on the right side of his body, the side towards where his torso was inclined, resting onto something soft and warm.
He turned to the right against the sunrays, rather inclined to spend a few more minutes in comfortable unconsciousness and he heard his back crack, causing a small frown which abandoned his face in a matter of seconds.
His left hand was now wrapped around a pillow, hugging it firmly and steadily. His right arm was now high over his head. Now his whole body faced the soft warm surface which moved itself on his direction, centimeters no longer dividing right cheek was resting over something almost unfamiliar which could've been silk or cotton but smelled much nicer than any of those - it was difficult for him in that moment to place the smell, but it was good and sweet – all together it added to his sense of morning wholesomeness.
A small groan escaped his mouth when the shoulder under his weight had to be moved in order to avoid numbness and he wondered why the surface upon which he was lying was so strangely uncomfortable – perhaps he had fallen asleep as a dog?
Odd, there were no recollections of ever going to the Shrieking Shack.
That thought was easily ignored and he soon started looking for a softer side of the mattress, arm and upper body overtaking most of the pillow and feeling it move under the added weight – that almost made him frown.
"-off"
Suddenly a smile rested on his face as the smell he had previously gotten a hint of invaded him and the mental pictures of warm pastries, hot chocolate and coziness by the fire caressed him back to sleep. It smelled of vanilla, but his drowsy brain wouldn't have allowed him to point it out with such precision.
"-Irius -et off"
The pillow moved some more and this time his face actually twisted into a frown, feeling the grogginess of sleep drifting away slowly as mundane thoughts invaded him, like what had he had for dinner the other night? His stomach growled.
Once again he felt discomfort, this time on his chest, as if something was pushing against it.
He tried adjusting his body once again, fully lying on his stomach and hoping he'd be granted with a few more minutes of sleep since it wasn't often he sleep more than six hours a night.
But Merlin must've been plastered with him that morning because the irritating pushing on his chest quickly went from possible to ignore to unbearable. He was about to turn on his back again and give up on his few extra minutes, no matter how uncomfortable the mattress was, but a protracted piercing pain on his right pectoral which possibly involved his nipple made him let out a sharp howl and a big angry 'fuck'.
His eyes flew open and the desire to keep on sleeping was long forgotten. He turned on his back while his elbow pushed harshly something away – he wasn't exactly sure why or how, but James or someone else must've put a gnome on his bed while he was sleeping. Good prank, wrong victim - he thought as ideas of revenge popped aggressively in his mind.
A high pitched shriek that sounded nothing like that of a gnome's was heard at the same time his cursing calmed down.
Putting his weight on both elbows, he raised his chest and turned to his right where his still unadjusted eyes saw blonde hair and a pair of pale hands hiding a face that he recognized as flashes of memories from the previous night invaded him, making his heartbeat rush and his body to shift so he was no longer on his back and legs but on his bottom.
With the newly acquired ample view of the room, now that he was sitting down he realized he was not at his chambers but at the requirement room. He looked down once and noticed they had been resting not on his mattress but on a pink wool quilt that had been brought to that room several weeks ago.
His frown abandoned his face as the memories continued to invade him. They had been eating chocolate before they fell asleep… she had said those were her last ones and so they could only have three each – he had given her two of his after she finished all of hers, and he recalled rolling his eyes when she hugged him and thanked him.
Then they had put some pillows down and laid there by the fire, side by side, as he read her edition of 'The princess bride' with folly and hyperbolical tone, and laughed and snorted and she hit him in the arm or chest while trying to conceal small smiles – he had mocked the book after he had seen it in her bag and she had confessed with jolly proudness that it was her favourite book of all times, for her papa used to read it to her before bed.
All those images were projected on his mind in a matter of seconds.
The vague memory of his voice turning mellow and slow and losing that frolic tone he had initially intended, as both wizards' eyelids moved slower and felt heavier– he would be right to assume they must've fallen asleep at some point right in the middle of chapter two.
A half cry put him out of his trance, and once again his attention was on her covered face as he tried to understand what had happened just then.
She sniffed as an unstable trembling squeal came out of her while her body shook slightly under the black leather jacket which covered her body. The jacket was his and he recalled throwing it her way when she whined about his reading being poor and silly, not doing any justice to the artistic story.
Once again, he noticed her hands were still over her face.
"What's wrong?" he asked on a light voice, hunching slightly over her with a frown as she continued to weep, hands still on the same place and he realized she was actually just trying to cover it, but not actually touch it .
His frown deepened and his worry glance became more prominent, the clear memory of his elbow hitting something unknown coming as a possible answer for her behavior now that he was more awake.
"Let me see"
With one nimble movement he was no longer sitting by her side, but in front of her, delicately wrapping his hands over her wrists, carefully removing them from her face, aware that she was fighting against it and not wanting to cause even more damage.
"Come on, Natalia, please let me take a look" he begged, his voice soft but firm.
Slowly her arms stopped fighting against his hands and he was able to uncover her face, only to let out a profanity when he saw the state it was in.
Her usual sun kissed skin was now of a pallor deeper than his own and blood covered the entirety of her trembling upper lip, nose trills and bridge of the nose – her hands had spread it around in such a way it was difficult to tell from which nostril the blood was coming from.Her eyes are squished shut and tears are falling off her cheeks. Mouth was open as she tried to breath, twitching in disgust every second, likely from the metallic taste of blood.
"I'm so sorry… shit… Merlin… I'm so bloody stupid" he looked around, trying to find his wand, anything to make it better "Here, come on"
Grabbing the pillow he had used and running his other free hand under her spine he softly tried shifting her up.
"Let's sit you up"
Among cries, she slowly did as told and he managed to set the pillow behind her over the one she had been using so she could lean forward and get some of the still upcoming blood out of her face.
"It hurts!" her almost drowned voice quacked, and he flinched at that.
When she was finally seated one of his hands was delicately placed on her right cheek, afraid to touch anything that might inflict more pain, while his other rested over her shoulder.
He was now kneeling with his face slightly crooked and lowered so it'd be directly in front of hers – a troubled frown staining his features. "How bad does it hurt?"
"A lot" she cried and he watched as blood continued to flow, noticing it came from the left nostril "-ou're -uch a brute"
"I know" he mouthed, looking down "I swear I didn't remember you were there" he was looking at her again, trying to catch her eyes for just a second so she could confirm the honesty of his words – luckily for him, he was able to for about three seconds and then she flinched again in pain closing them
"Here, use this" she frowned slightly as he handed her the jacket, putting the interior, the softer side of it around her wounded area "Hold this"
With a swish movement he was on his feet, turning around and walking towards his bag, where he started searching for something in urgency.
She, on the other hand, stayed there with little change to her position, trying to lift her head up in spite of the pain and blood, still holding onto the piece of clothing which was slowly soaking up the red liquids.
"Is it broken?" she asked, her voice more nasal than ever, this time raising her face up, with her head against her neck, trying to get a look of what he was doing.
"Yeah, I reckon" he said bitterly, and soon returned with his hand in hand as he lowered himself to be on the same level as she was.
If her widened eyes weren't enough proof of her dread, her voice surely made it clear: "What are you doing?!"
"I'm gonna fix it! Now remove the jacket" he tried taking hold of it, but she nimbly flipped her face, so his fingers merely managed to brush the jacket.
"Have you gone mental?! You're not touching my nose. That could cause temporal damage"
"Calm down, I've done it for James once or twice"
"No! It's right in front of my face. You're not doing anything to it. I forbid you"
He started at her and sighed, recognizing the stubbornness which characterized them both and ruled their lives and current arrangement between the two of them.
A few tears abandoned her eyes again and he flinched, hiding his face once again. How could he have been so careless? The idea of him being to blame for that pain was just as unbearable as the pain itself.
"Can I at least take you to Madam Pomfrey?"
She looked at him with distrust, unsure if he was trying to trick her.
Once, when they were ten, Simon had convinced her to play some Quidditch after a whole week of asking her to – it had been two weeks since Sebastian had left for Hogwarts, which left the little boy without anyone to practice with – and ever since the previous year when his brother had gotten into the Slytherin Quidditch team and he decided he wanted the same fate for when he got into Hogwarts, all he wanted to do was practice
When they were up in the air she had mocked him about something she couldn't quite recall and as a response he tried shoving her, forgetting that his little sister didn't quite have the same stability over a broom that his brother, or even his cousins did.
Long story short, Natalia fell down and her ankle snapped with a loud and ugly sound which was soon drowned by her cries. Simon's little eyes couldn't have been wider. He ran to the house to get his parents but on the way remembered he was already in trouble for skipping his lessons to fly around the field – all he needed to add now was the fact he had injured his sister. Instead of breaking into his father's study or looking around for his mother, he went straight up to Sebastian's room and snatching his brother's old wand (which was partly fried during a visit to Romania by one of their grandparent's baby dragon) and an textbook from first or second year he ran back to where he had left his twin.
When she saw the dark ghastly wand on her brother's hand and the book under his armpit she felt the pain fade into the background and panic become the only thing she could feel. Upon seeing her reaction he made up this strangely convincing lie about a unicorn passing over their lavender field just then, which of course she believed and took interest on. Taking advantage of her naiveness, he raised the wand and repeated the spell he had memorized in under five minutes back in the mannor.
Of course anything performed by an inexperienced ten year old with a wand at such a state could only be disastrous and the whole morning ended with a doctor coming to their house to regenerate Natalia's now missing bone; Simon's broom being locked at the attic for the next three months and Bruno Yaxley cooing over his daughter even more than usual.
But then, looking at Sirius she saw no signs of him trying to trick her, no matter how odd it sounded that he'd want to do things her way even if it meant people seeing them together.
"But –
"You can't go by yourself"
He stood up and offered his arm, which after some doubting she took.
They were an odd pair walking around the corridors of the castle, him bending over her as his hands rested on top of her smaller ones which were on her face, helping her to hold the jacket steady so no blood should be spilled on the floor and breathing could be a little easier. Their clothes remained unchanged from the previous day and clearly wrinkled; their heads weren't much better, as they could've rivaled James' usual hairstyle.
She'd let out moans of complain every couple steps, but her crying had ceased. Still, he'd send her preoccupied looks more often than not, while at the same time looking around, hoping no one should see them in such situation.
To their luck, it was still quite early and since it was the last day before the rest of the student returned from their homes putting an end to their Easter Holidays, the corridors were what could be called deserted.
However, no matter the time or date, the paintings were witnesses and all frowned as they saw them walk pass by, a few asking what the matter was, only to be ignored.
Although being extremely familiar with the hospital wing due to Quidditch, Remus' condition and Peter's clumsiness; Sirius had never seen it so empty as that morning – a fact that made him let out a sigh of relief, probably the first time he had felt feeling anything like it in the whole day.
Every single bed was empty and they passed several of them before the sound of their clumsy steps and complains alerted Madam Pomfrey, the only person in the whole castle that seemed to care little about the fact that was the last day of holidays, since she was still in uniform when she met them with wide eyes.
Her face lit in worry when the leather jacket was removed an Natalia's bloody face was open for the view.
"Is that blood coming off your nose, Miss. Yaxley?" her stern and alarmed voice asked as she approached the two of them at considerable speed.
When she reached the injured girl, her eyes ran over Sirius Black's frame, who almost felt ashamed as he confirmed what he already knew: her preoccupation wasn't so much due to the injury itself. After over fifty years working as matron at a magical school Poppy Pomfrey had seen her fair share of serious and rare conditions and hexes, broken noses did very little for her now. No, her worry lied on the fact that this girl, who she recognized as a Slytherin, was bleeding quite badly while in company of a known Gryffindor who happened to be a bit of a mischievous young man.
"I tripped while going up for breakfast" Natalia, whose voice was now reaching the extremes of nasality said as the older woman sat her down on one of the beds and began to examine her with steady but quick hands as she watched the young witch's face, looking for any signs that'd tell her if she was lying "Black found me on my way here"
Madam Pomfrey threw one last over the shoulder glance over Sirius' way as she searched for any trace of anger or mockery that would give away the girl was simply covering for him, but she ended up giving one brief nod after finding none.
Then, she returned her attention to the girl.
"You did well in coming to me straight away" she applied pleasure to the tip of her nose, making Natalia let out a cry. "You wouldn't believe how many times broken noses are attempted to be healed by kids' inexpert wands" she complained.
Sirius didn't miss the sharp glance Natalia shot his way upon that comment.
"You just wait here for a second. I'll get my wand"
Now that the matron's confidence on who she called,'misbehaved but altogether a good boy'Sirius Black was restored, she left the room without even turning back, leaving both teenagers by themselves.
He shot a few over the shoulder looks her way, looking down at the ground with shame each time and being grateful Natalia was too busy keeping her head up high to even know he was looking her way.
He had never before physically hit any girl, except for some hair pulling to his cousins back when he was a child and even then, they had hit them first. Although he knew it was best if he just kept silent, since she was in all her rights to tell him off (and she enjoyed doing so without having any reasons to), he knew that his previous apologizewhich came off among all the frenzy should be repeated.
"I'mvery sorry" he spoke clearly, but kept his tone low due to shame and precaution in case Madam Pomfrey decided to come back "I'm such an and idiot" he muttered, as he buried his face among both palms.
Natalia glanced at him, doing her best not to drop any blood over the white sheets.
There wasn't a single ounce of her body that could feel anger at him in that moment. All she could see now that the shock from the pain was slowly soothing down and she wasallowed to think of something else but, the images of him giving away his precious leather jacket, which he hadn't allowed her to wear even once before because he loved it so; how he walked her to the hospital, despite the fact they could be seen and he'd probably get more in trouble than she would; how sorry and miserable he looked right then even when he hadn't even seen her in the bed and couldn't have known he'd be hitting her.
Long short story, in that moment, Natalia Yaxley was being reminded of how she really loved him, how doomed she was and how stupid she had been for letting things unfold this way.
After the night when she finally found out about her newly discovered feelings she had hoped and expected they'd die out in a matter of days, weeks at worst: he'd do or say something stupid and she'd be laughing at her own foolishness and crazy delusional ideas of love, but so far he had been the closest thing to sweet a guy like him could get to.
As days got warmer and sunnier, winter slowly fading away, spending time around the castle's grounds became a common activity among the remaining witches and wizards at the school. The older students of course usually managed to get the nicest spots, right where the warm sun hit the hardest, but of course there were those few younger students who saw past that archaic status quo rule.
Two days after Natalia's evening revelation, she had made plans with Remus to spend their afternoon on the grounds along with her pets and some warm hot cocoa and sweet pastries and fruits. Since it was perhaps the nicest it had been all week, most of the remaining population was out as well.
They had chosen a most congenial spot under a tree which allowed them for space where to rest their backs if they ever got tired, some shadow in case the sun got too hot, but enough sunny patches for it to be warm. As they were walking towards it, both with their hands filled with all sort of things, from Matilda to a basket of freshly baked pastries (courtesy of the kitchen's elves after Remus paid them a visit) they saw how a bunch of third and second years from Ravenclaw ran towards that very same spot, with their books under their armpits and bewildered smiles on their faces.
Both sixth years stood in their place, around eight feet away from the tree, looking at the younger students with annoyance .While Remus, who held Matilda on one arm and a blanket and termus on the other was quick to sigh and shrug as he looked around for another available spot, Natalia's outrage couldn't do another thing but to escalate.
"Here" she said, handing Remus the little wicker basket where Peaches slept."Hold him, please"
"Uhm… what are you gonna do?" he asked with nervousness, as he dropped the things on his right hand to grab the animal.
Upon receiving no answer, he called after her again, this time by her nickname, as she walked towards the group of boys. Once again, he was ignored.
Natalia thought the day to be most perfect – all in climate, company and humour, and there was no way on earth she'd allow some little Ravenclaw mongrels interfere with her plans.
Some of the boys noticed her approaching and lift their heads up, but worry was never visible on their faces. If anything, most kept their smug smiles on and even giggled as they secretly shared comments. When she was standing right in front of the lot, one arm on her waist and a look of pure indignation, they all kept quiet and stared at her waiting for words to come out of her mouth, infuriating the blonde even further.
"My friend and I were going to sit here" she stated, running her eyes across the whole group, trying to find the leader of such pathetic friendship gang in order to address him only. "You saw us coming here"
"Drag" said one of them, as a smile appeared on his face.
"Excuse me?"
"He said drag" said another one, laughing "You know? Downer; sad, disappointing; bad for you and your friend"
Now all of them were laughing and chuckling to some degree, even those who seemed the nerdiest and who would've crossed ways if walking into an older, somehow attractive girl such a Natalia Yaxley on the hallways.
Remus Lupin, who had a perfect view of the scene, cringed and took good hold of all the animals that had been trusted on his care, since it was clear he'd have to jump in to help his friend – his prefect badge meant little during holidays time but he supposed he could at least try to reason with them, since he knew Natalia well enough to know she wouldn't be leaving without the spot she wanted.
"Oh good" she said, turning his way when he finally reached her right side. She looked bewildered and for a second, Remus feared for the safety of those very annoying but quite young group of Ravenclaws "Can you please tell these to move so we can enjoy our day?" as it always did when she was angry, her RP accent became more prominent, which meant words came out clearer, angrier and when she finished she flipped the hair off her shoulder.
Remus' eyes went from his friend to the group of teenage boys, who if anything seemed more stimulated on their petulance by the arrival of the older boy.
Although Remus could've been worthy of respect by himself, since he was known to be a good guy and friends with quite popular individuals, while on the company of a Slytherin girl, carrying a sleeping giant rabbit on one hand and a cat on the other he appeared like nothing but an amusement to the third years.
"Would you boys mind moving your things to another spot? This place is quite small for all of you anyway" he asked, feeling Natalia's approving glance and smile over him.
The responses didn't vary much, as many of them rolled their eyes as they snickered. The one who talked the most, a Scottish boy who took the title of the James Potter of the group, eyed Peaches first and then Matilda and proceeded to poke those near them with his elbows, making sure none of his mates would miss such an amusing sight.
Remus' cheeks lit up slightly, not by the clear teasing itself but rather because of the fact that he allowed the teasing of thirteen years old to affect him.
Natalia's face followed his example – her redness owed to the annoyance she felt towards those little disrespectful nobodies: not only were they younger and nerds, but she was sure she couldn't recognize the last name of any of them – if that were the case, they'd have recognized hers, and even if her age wasn't reason enough for them to respect her, her ancient heritage surely would've.
"Is that your bunny?"Asked one of them, his chest shaking with laughter.
"No, it's mine." Natalia's slowly elevating voice answered "Now leave"
The Scottish one looked down, pretending to be pondering about her words, only to look up again in a matter of seconds with a smug smile, as he made himself more comfortable on the spot by resting on his elbows.
"Think not. You're most welcome to join us tho" he said, giving her a wink and making the whole of his party burst into a fist of laughter.
Both older kids were surprised by the witty response and their mouths opened to say something at about the same time but no sound came from either, thus incrementing the laughter of those under the tree.
It'd have been quite an embarrassing scene for the sixth years, especially considering they had slowly gained the attention of a few other students nearby.
Yes, it'd have been humiliating, hadn't it been for the presence of Sirius Black, who appeared next to the tree without any of those involved in the feisty conversation noticing until his right arm was fully stretched and supporting his relaxed body against the tree.
"So we're sitting here?" he asked absentmindedly, looking with little interest at the witch and wizard in front of him and fully ignoring those sitting beneath.
Remus shot him a surprised look since Sirius had informed him he'd be spending the day practicing after he told him of his plans with Natalia Yaxley, who he knew his friend was little fond of, as it was the case with Slytherins.
Natalia, who had not seen him ever since the night when she felt a bit more for him than simple fancy, although just as puzzled by Sirius' choice of been seen willingly interacting with her at a public space was glad her cheeks were already blushed, if not, she'd have turned red upon his arrival.
She felt as if she was making her feelings very obvious, since she was always told she wore her heart on her sleeve and had found that to be quite true. How embarrassing it would be if he were to notice, if anyone were to notice, like Remus or those stupid boys.And how angry he'd be! He'd probably never want to see her again if he ever found about her feelings, and she didn't want to stop seeing him, it'd put her in such despair not to have him for herself most nights.
After what to her felt like an eternity but was only about half a minute of silence, she cleared her throat and looked down at her second enemies, after her feelings.
Accusingly, with an almost unsteady voice, she said: "Yes, if only they would move"
Sirius looked down lazily, smiling with similar manner at the Ravenclaw boys, whose own smiles had long disappeared and instead, frowns and alerted eyes were in its place "Really?"
His hand now was on his pocket and the silhouette of a wand could be noticed through the pants.
Such sight, along with the knowledge of the numerous pranks Sirius Black and his friends liked to pull on people, besides the fact he was largely liked by most of Hogwarts population – especially the girls – and that being disliked by him promised nothing good, got the third year Ravenclaws on their feet in less than a second.
"We were just leaving" one of them almost shouted.
He, as the rest of his friends, was staring at Sirius only, completely ignoring the annoyed cross-armed girl and the slightly pestered boy next to her with the brow up.
"Yes, Sirius" said eagerly another one. His name was Steve Oakie and played Quidditch and knew messing with a beater was not wise "You and your friends can sit here if you want"
Between Sirius' arrival and the Ravenclaws leaving only a minute and a half had passed, which presented a great contrast between the amount of time Natalia and Remus had been trying to convince the boys to move elsewhere.
Natalia followed them all with her gaze until she saw them sit down about two hundred meters away from them, and even then she kept looking just in case as she grabbed the blanket and unfolded it open on the ground.
"Well, thank you, I guess" Remus humored voice said, turning to Sirius with a diverted smile.
He simply shrugged, as he smiled as well and let go off the three, walking closer to the pair with a carefree pace, both of his hands now on his pocket.
"Were we that annoying?"
"You still are" said Natalia, now turning so she could face him.
She regretted it almost immediately, looking down once she noticed her cheeks lighting up again. Forcing her hands to get busy with something, so she could calm down, she grabbed the pieces of food and warm beverages and started placing them over the blanket.
To the surprise of everyone there gathered, even his own, instead of coming up with a witty remark of his own for Natalia, he actually chuckled. Truth was he found himself laughing more at the things she said rather than starting arguments from them.
Natalia and Remus sat down with their legs crossed, while Sirius let himself fall sloppily, resting slightly over his back and elbows as he ate bits here and there of their food, which gained him a slap on the hand from the witch.
"Your hands are dirty"
"Wouldn't you like to know how so" he said with a cocky smile, grabbing a strawberry and throwing it inside his mouth with little troub
Natalia's face was once again on what seemed to be her natural colour that afternoon, pink, while Remus rolled his eyes, assuming his friend was just doing it to infuriate his female friend.
However, about five minutes later, while Sirius and Natalia discussed whereas Ravenclaws were worse than Slytherins or not, something made Remus eyes grow a little wider and follow the action with full attention.
Natalia's gigantic rabbit jumped off its disproportioned basket towards the end where Sirius laid, placing itself next to his bended arm and torso, as if to steal some corporal warmth.
Sirius, instead of pushing it away or commenting on it simply carried on with his conversation as if nothing, stating that with Ravenclaws' at leastyou don't have to look over your shoulder every other minute just in case they decide to throw some cruciatious at you'
When Remus was decided not to keep looking at it, and instead join the argument (he, as a neutral party wanted to light up Slytherin situation just a bit, since Ravenclaws were not, as they had recently experienced, the nicest of people to have around) saw something that made it impossible for him to look away.
Grabbing a small raspberry, Sirius fed it to the animal.
It was such a strange scene that Remus's neck actually crooked slightly, so he could get a better look of it.
Natalia's eyes diverted from Sirius to Remus, looking to seek approval for something she said but caught on her friend's strange expression. Following the course of Remus' gaze she almost choking on her biscuit when she noticed what had caught his attention.
She slapped the mat softly, catching the rabbit's attention. As instructed, the little thing hooped away from Sirius and back into her arms.
He left a bit after that, smirking as he claimed the company of the two of them was beyond boring, and stealing a handful of biscuits and sweets to have on the way.
Natalia feared Remus would rise up any questions about the oddly familiar behavior Sirius had displayed with her pet. Not only would she get nervous from not knowing what answer to give, but now there was also the fact that if she messed whatever she and Sirius had going on, she'd feel the most desperate despair.
However, worrying about it was in itself dumb. Remus wasn't only a person who didn't pray in business which weren't meant for him to know about, but Sirius' acting wasn't suspicious enough to rise up questions by itself.
Then, her mind drifted to another memory of the week, back to dinner on Easter Sunday when her face couldn't have been any sourer as she sat next to Amelia Avery and a bit further away, on her left, Dolores Nott.
After waiting around the room for the whole day she came in terms with the fact that the only person outside of Hogwarts to send anything would be Jane. The entirety of her family chose to ignore her, spoiling her festive mood.
Had the conversation at her table been of her liking or at least one in which she could integrate herself perhaps her expression wouldn't have been in such perfect synchrony with her mood, but considering most of those who had stayed for the holiday were boys, it was only natural their conversation drifted to Quidditch most of the times.
To make matters worse, the closest thing to a friend she had in the whole table, the only person who could've changed the subject to one more of her liking, understanding or interest, was Amelia Avery, a girl who got up at five in the morning every day to fly around the field, just for fun. She didn't even look at Natalia's face once.
Dolores Nott, who also took little care for Quidditch, was immersed in a conversation with her cousin. Having the pair stated in more than one occasion they'd rather spend a night with a banshee rather than a second with Natalia Yaxley it was to be expected they would not make good entertainment for the miserable witch.
So Natalia sat there with one cheek resting on her hand and her arm resting over the table. As her eyes roomed the room in search for something interesting to look at to distract herself from the bitter thoughts that didn't match the mood of the festivities, she naturally landed on the Gryffindor table, where he sat.
He was, as usual, surrounded by people, none of them further than a few centimeters from him and everyone listened to every word that came out of his mouth. There was no pair of eyes not on him. Unlike her own table, the people there from first year to the last seemed to all be involved in one same conversation; when someone else took charge of the conversation in the two or three minutes in which she hadn't looked away, most of the Gryffindors shifted their attention to this other person, but Natalia didn't.
Instead, she never stopped looking at him – which was good, because he then looked her way too. After staring at each other's eyes for a few seconds, he gave a lazy crooked smile. She tried her best to conceive the immediate response that had in her own face by moving her hands from her cheek slightly over her mouth – that was her first smile of the day.
In an attempt to get distracted so she wouldn't keep on looking his way, especially since it appeared she was prone to start giggling and turning pink like a little girl every time he'd notice, she turned to Amelia and in complete disregard of her ongoing conversation with the boys, Natalia asked about her fiancée, a subject that could get Amelia to talk for hours.
After dinner a few of the elder Slytherins were keen on drinking some booze at the common room and although her only reason to get invited to those sort of affairs, that meaning her brother, was gone, since the castle was less than half its population during holidays time even people like Natalia Yaxley got asked to attend.Still, she refused the invitation because Jane wasn't there and neither were her brother or Hippolytus, the people with whom she used to hang at parties; the only person with whom she could spend time with was Amelia but she would be surely spending her night with her roommates, since the whole lot of seventh year had decided to stay.
Besides, she and Sirius had plans.
Getting out afterhours was easier than most days since everyone was so absorbed in their own drinks and conversations that they simply thought she was just part of the party, only going out to get some fresh air or who knows.
They didn't even see the bottle of fire whisky held tightly against her chest, which they made sure of start drinking quickly.
"What's bothering you?" he asked as he opened the bottle, looking over his shoulder.
"Huh?"
"You were looking miserable at dinner"
"Well… they didn't send me anything."
"Not even a letter?"
"Nope"
"Welcome to the club" he smiled brightly, wiggling his eyebrows just slightly to emphasize his mood.
When she didn't return the smile due to the comment being of little consolation for her situation, he sighed, standing up from one swift jump.
"Come on, cheer up. Parents are arses when they discover we have minds of our own." He was behind her now, placing his head forwards so it could be next to hers while his hands grabbed her shoulders for a minute. She could feel his warm breath next to her cheek "You can eat my chocolate egg if you want. It's in the bag" he pointed towards the leather bag that had been thrown on the ground with his chin.
Despite the fact that he was no longer touching her and that he had gone back to the sofa, Natalia could still feel the spots were his fingers had been in contact with her skin, even warmer than her cheeks.
"Thought you said your parents didn't send you anything" her voice came out slightly on defensive, a desperate attempt to keep her mind out of the fact he was being extremely lovely when she needed it the most.
"Do you honestly think my parents would send chocolate?"He smiled with amusement, his feet now over the armchair of the sofa and taking a gulp out of the bottle "The Potters did. Think Mrs. Potter makes it herself or something"
Mrs. Potter homemade chocolate egg was exquisite and Natalia almost considered the possibility of asking James Potter to ask his mother for the recipe. However, sweeter than the chocolate was the fact that Sirius had been willing to share it with her just because she was upset about not receiving anything from her own family.
So despite the current situation which was literally bloody and all, she couldn't help but feel perhaps her feelings weren't prone to change as quickly as she had thought: after all, they didn't change when he was being nice and they were still the same when he did something as stupid as forgetting she was sleeping next to him and elbowing her to the point of breaking her nose.
"It's fine"
"Aren't you angry?" he frowned
"You didn't mean it" her voice was so highly nasal that it would put her regular nasal voice to shame.
Madame Pomfrey made her way back with a long wand on her hand, one to which Sirius Black was very familiar to thanks to Quidditch and his special talent for getting himself injured while putting into practice the marauders reckless pranks.
As the healer pointed her wand to Natalia's face, Sirius stood by the side, looking at anything but Natalia Yaxley and her blood dripping nose.
Although not completely, her words did erase some of the guilt he was feeling. He remembered how angry he had felt when he saw the marks Rosier had left on her arms so many months ago and back then the two of them had been nothing but people who disliked each other and were forced to spend time together, now things were much different and the damage had been produced by his own hand – well, elbow. Of course there was also the fact that he hadn't actually meant to do anything to her unlike that git, but still he felt guilt.
What was worse, the incident although only recent was starting to make him think about things he didn't actually want to think about, such as what exactly did he feel towards Natalia Yaxley.
He had been so sure of it before: she was just a girl he wanted to fool around with because she represented something he couldn't have. All the other girls in the castle would've been charmed with the idea of getting into anything with him, they were all available to him – Natalia was the only person who before everything developed the way it did, would've never been caught anywhere near him by will.
Then, when weeks passed and what he thought would end in just a matter of days kept going on, with more frequency if anything. He managed to admit perhaps he liked her personality even if slightly – hadn't her blonde head been filled with blood supremacist bullshit, he could've even called her a friend.
But now? Did he really just care about her? Had it been Marlene or someone else instead of her, would've have done half the things he did with her when it had all been an accident? Of course he'd have apologized and felt bad for a while, but what about the rest? Would he have sacrificed his beloved leather jacket he was now staring at as it laid over the bed stained with dark spots all over?
He tried pushing those thoughts aside but the sound of her nasal cry when the healer pronounced the words: "brakium emendo" brought them all back, confirming what he already knew, which was that even if he ignored that sort of ideas for a while, they'd eventually come back.
The same thing had happened back in December when he had really tried to push away the memory of how she had behaved with him when he was morphed into his animal form, how caring and likeable she had acted that day. He tried not to think about the fact she was pretty despite her then despicable personality, and that was difficult not to think about when he saw her on the Christmas party gown. But the thoughts kept coming back, and during that night of her brother's engagement party he had thrown all that effort away by deciding to allow himself to think of her and do a bit more than that.
So yes, he admitted he was to a degree attached to her, so what? Perhaps without wanting to, they had become very good friends on the last couple of months.He got along with his cousin Andy just fine and she also was a Slytherin – true, not half as prejudiced or spoiled as Natalia, proof of that was the fact she had abandoned everything she knew to be with a muggle born and have his child… but perhaps Natalia could change, and if she did…
If she did, then what? He asked himself almost angry.
He damned himself, as all the past months they spent in each other's company rushed into his memory, giving him a perfect and desperation inducing view of how badly he had managed everything. For being such a smart boy, he surely felt stupid that moment.
Hadn't he seen all the signs? Why hadn't he put a stop to it much sooner? He had admitted to himself he cared about her weeks ago, shouldn't that have been reason enough to end everything and each go their way? Why had he insisted on keeping things marching?
The next step from caring was love and he had never felt it for any girl and he'd be dammed if he allowed things to flow in a way that he'd end up being in love with a purist whose whole family supported an organization that plannedon exterminating half the population of Hogwarts and their families.
Back when he had proposed they started seeing each other, never in a million years he'd have thought of the possibility of him ever falling in love with her – Merlin, at the time he doubted he would ever feel that emotion for anyone at all. He could love friends, causes and alcohol, but romantically love someone? The idea at the time had appeared to him as simply ridiculous but now it was a dangerous possibility, and it had to be stopped before it was too late and it became a reality.
Without really seeing anything, he began walking away – long gone from his mind was the accident, the witch he had made it into the nursery with and everything else. All he knew was that he had to get away from that possibility of a future which he loathed, one that had been planned for him since before birth; a prospect from which he had tried to run far away from ever since he started at Hogwarts and began to have a mind of his own, perhaps even before that.
To imagine himself with a wife straight after school, a wife which would satisfy his mother's expectations beyond reason, placing him into her good views – the clearest sign of a degradation of his persona. Moving back into the family home, as he was ought to as the eldest son, a married man; having to put up with his parents until they were death.Then what was next? An heir, of course! Pure as they come, the offspring of two of the purest specimens who would then in eighteen years marry another one like them. He'd try to raise it right, the way he'd have liked to be raised but then there would also be his mother and why not, his wife, they'd make everything in their hands to raise another Regulus, or another Bellatrix.
Who knew, perhaps his own views would be deformed by the strength those archaic minds of his wife and parents, perhaps he'd become what they all always expected him to – a person not even his closest friends could feel safe when around.
Madam Pomfrey calling his last name was what brought him back from that terrifying and yet so well pictured world he had just immersed himself in. He raised his head with a stupid expression on his face, like he had just been woken up from a nap: "Uh?"
Yes, a nap in which he saw his inevitable future if he didn't' get as far away from that situation while he still could. Perhaps that'd be the first time he'd do something so un-Gryffindor like, but it was in order to preserve his own identity.
"I asked if you could walk Miss Yaxley to her common room." The matron repeated, unaltered by Sirius' initial lack of attention, accustomed of dealing with teenagers for years now "She might feel a bit disorientedand since you were considerate enough to bring her here and wait with her I assume you'll pay her this favour."
He stood motionless, unaware of the expecting pairs of airs that were set on him.
Each word that left the old woman's mouth reasonated a thousand times in his head, stinging. Why had he stayed after bringing her there? Not only was he at risk of allowing feelings stronger to those of liking arise, but he was also playing with his luck and making it very easy for others to see something was going on.
Upon the lack of response after a minute passed, Natalia was the one to reply as she sighed: "I'm sure he can do that, Madam Pomfrey. He's not that much of an uncivilized dorcus"
Then, putting both hands on the verge of the bed, she jumped off – the sound her feet made as they touched the cold ground happened to take place at the exact same time Sirius flinched as a result of her words.
For him, desperation was starting to rise; he had to get away from her quickly and for good. The words she had just said didn't have an ounce of annoyance in her voice nor real malice – since when had they gotten to the point where they joked with each other in public? Things must've been worse than feared.
Her answer seemed to have satisfied Madam Pomfrey, who nodded and repeated the instructions she gave to plenty of students who left in the same conditions as Natalia Yaxley, putting especial emphasis on the possibilities of definitive crooking of the bone if she didn't follow her words strictly.Of course that possibility was almost ephemeral, but it always worked to keep students engaged on a fine recovery, and by wide open eyes this particular one got when told only confirmed her theory.
When they started marching towards the dungeons she began talking about how she was going to follow Madam Pomfrey's instructions thoughtfully, no matter how annoying spending the whole of her last day of holidays in bed.
"A nose is the most visible part of your face, not something I can afford to mess up even further. Maybe you haven't noticed but it's always been my worst feature" she confided, crooking her neck to the right so she could look at him and see his reaction to the statement.
If he confirmed he had noticed, she was planning on getting annoyed; if he said he hadn't realized, she was also going to get annoyed, since to her it seemed obvious all he should say was 'Your nose doesn't look bad'.
However, his face was emotionless, as were his eyes.
Still, it was difficult to get a good look out of his face, since he was walking faster than she was, making her shorter legs have to go through twice the effort to be walking slightly behind him. So she didn't pay much mind to her lack of expression.
"Well, yes. I got it from my grandfather from my mother's side. His own parents, so my great grandparents, were Ugandans and I don't know if you knew this but Ugandans are known for having quite large noses." She explained "It's quite unfair because neither my mother nor my aunt got the nose from him but I did. Simon did too, his is bigger… but still it doesn't look as bad in a boy as it does in a girl, don't you think?"
The vague sense of having to give an answer to avoid more attention being put on him pulled him to give an even vaguer nod, his mind miles away.
Of the things she said he hadn't heard any, he had been wondering whether he should start talking again to Marlene of it that would seem too odd to the Gryffindor girl – well, if not her, it should be another one since that was all it would take to get himself to be Sirius again. Yes, all it would take was to spend time around some normal girls again. Girls who weren't proudly and heavily linked to death eaters; then after a few days of normality he'd look back on the time willingly spent with Natalia Yaxley and think of it to be utterly ridiculous.
She continued on talking about her nose for most of the walk – or so he guessed, since he was busy plans on his head on top of compressing the feeling of guilt that was uprising– why should he care? He was doing her a favour too; her parents had plenty of money, they could land her a good husband who she'd surely tire to death with her demanding nasal voice.
They were now standing in front of the doors of her house quarters and she had raised her head to look up at him, knowing they wouldn't be spending as much time with each other now that the rest of the people were coming back, a dreading realization for her.
"Well, I'll see you later I guess"
There wasn't an answer. In fact, there wasn't a boy anymore by the time she blinked once – she could see him walking away, absentmindedly and fast. And she stood there, not knowing exactly what to make out of his odd acting.
