His face was so sharp and clear, illuminated by the warm yellow light that lit up the room in the early morning. His cheeks were pinks and his skin was no longer that yellowish-green colour it had been. His hair was fuller and messed up from sleep, still flecked with grey, but it didn't look limp and dead. His face was still and unmoving, his blue eyes hidden behind their lids, still purple and sunken in. He looked tired, but considerably more alive than she expected. Tonks had woken up beside that face for over nineteen years know and she knew damn well each and every freckle and scar on his face and down his neck.

Her eyes wouldn't shut. She wanted to lean over and kiss him, but her whole body felt frozen. A hand that didn't feel like her own reached out and stroked the side of his face. Even in his sleep, he nuzzled up against her. His hand lazily reached up and entertained their fingers, his lips pressing against her hand. Tonks felt her heart race with excitement. It was the most real thing she had felt in ages. He was so alive and whole, and he was right there with her, yet he seemed to be laying a million miles across the bed. She was giddy thinking about all of the things she wanted to say and do. It was all over. Things were going to be okay now.

Remus yawned. She felt herself making a conscious effort to quell her excitement. "Someone must be in a good mood." He told her. "You're hair's pink again."

"Oh... thanks." The words coming out of her mouth didn't feel like her own but at the exact same time, she felt herself making an overly conscious effort to speak, as if her cheeks were filled with cotton.

"It looks good on you."

Tonks wanted to say a million different things to him. Time didn't feel real. It felt like an eternity had passed, yet only a few seconds had ticked by. "I love you." She wanted to say that she loved him more than anything. But the connections seemed to click together too quickly. She had seen his body, been to his funeral. "I'm making this up." She announced. "You're not... you aren't real. You're just saying that."

"Dora? What are you talking about? Is that not real enough?" He asked. A hand absently rubbed her back.

"That's fair enough." She mumbled. As bad as she wanted it to be true, she realized where she was. This wasn't her bedroom, nor was this her husband. She sat up, her eyes still fixed on Remus. "No. No! No, it's not really fair. You aren't real, I'm just crazy and talking to myself."

He let out a sigh. "Dora, calm down, it's okay-"

"See? I'm just trying to make myself feel better. I'm not awake right now." Tonks scoffed. He became visibly upset. "But I love you too. I don't know how much time we have." She felt him slipping away from her grasp, like she was hugging herself instead of him. "Wait, Wait- a second-"

Black clouded her vision. All of the pieces snapped back into place. It was the middle of the night and Tonks was alone in her cold bed. She was sweating profusely, her heart still beating loudly in her ear, her mind trying to play back every second of her dream in perfect sequence before it kept getting lost and confused. Her face was tear stained. She wanted Remus back beside her. She still had things she needed to say and things she needed to hear, but she knew it wasn't Remus telling her those things and now she had no clue when she would get to see his face again.

Tonks couldn't fall back asleep after her dream. She kept tossing from one side to the other. But there was simply no way for her to be comfortable. Eventually, she had to switch the light beside her bed on. She caught a brief glimpse of herself in the mirror beside her dresser as she sat up. Her hair had become a messy mop of magenta coloured hair while she had tried to sleep.

The baby inside of her kicked at her side. Part of her wondered still how and why she could've let this happen, how she could have managed to subject a child to a life never having known his or her own father. She knew the child was lucky enough to have a family that wouldn't abandon it, a family that would love them no matter what, a family that would do everything to make sure they were okay, but it would be obvious one day that it was all a big, clumsy accident. Another part of her tried to soak up every moment, every flutter and kick knowing full well that it wouldn't be much longer before she lost her last physical connection with her husband. Tonks remembered something she had read about a long time ago, something about how babies could start hearing sounds at sixteen weeks. It didn't mean much to her, but every now and again she wondered if the baby had gotten to hear it's father's voice.

She refused to change the pillow cases on his side of the bed. Late at night, she would wrap her arms around one as she slept, breathing in his fading scent. The same went for one of his red jumpers that she kept in the top shelf of his dresser. Most of his clothes had gone through the wash and been given away now or been thrown out. There was no point in keeping any of it now, save for a couple of memorable Christmas sweaters. But that one particular jumper still smelled like him, and not of that toxic antiseptic and vomit concoction that had seeped into everything else he wore before he died.

"Hey, it's okay, I know." Tonks said calmly. Baby had the bad habit of sleeping during the day and waking at night. She didn't know if she could fall back asleep with them twisting and turning inside of her. "You can go back to sleep now. I'm just going to be doing some reading, if you don't mind. Mum's just being an insomniac."

It gave her a small, stubborn nudge on her hip.

"I was just dreaming about Dad again. Sorry if I got a little upset there for a minute." She sunk into the bed, reaching over to her nightstand for a stack of papers. She popped the cap off of her ink pen and started writing. If she wasn't going to sleep, she could at least get through her auror work. "I wish you knew how much I miss him. I think you two would've gotten along great together. I'm sure he would've loved to be a dad again, if only he hadn't declined so quickly..."

Tonks tried to think of the burglaries in Diagon Alley, or the case of a caregiver that was stealing money from his clients, or of a supposedly wrongly accused death eater. But she wanted Remus back in her arms again. She wanted the warmth of having someone else in her bed. It was too quiet without anyone else breathing or coughing next to her. She couldn't focus. Most of the time, during the daytime, she could swallow down her grief and not think about him. She could balance her work and family and go about her day without difficulty. It was the middle of the night when in all crashed over her.

What was once her biggest fantasy had shifted to become a guilty daydream. Tonks had always wanted to see the cure in their lifetime, she wanted to be there to hold his hand through it. She didn't care if she was forty years old or if she was eighty, it would've meant the world to her to get to see him make it through a full moon. She just wanted one. It made Tonks wonder what it could've been like to see the night through human eyes. Since they had met, the full moon never looked the same to her. It was unimaginable to picture him being excited about getting to see it, but they would've been thankful nonetheless. Now it would never be.

Baby wriggled around for a moment, causing Tonks to sigh and put her hand over the spot where they were. "Hey now, I said you can go back to sleep. I can go back to sleep in a bit, but I need wind down first." She murmured, making a quick note on one of her files. She caught herself absently biting the end of her pen. "I know we haven't got much longer together. I haven't gotten your nursery ready yet, but it doesn't seem like Teddy's giving me much of a choice other than that he's going to empty out his bedroom. I don't think I'll repaint it yet. It'd be helpful if we knew if you were a boy or a girl, then I could start coming up with names..."

That was yet another major roadblock she had run into. What sort of names could she come up with that her husband would've liked? Their daughter didn't even have a middle name because they could never agree on one, and Teddy had gotten the family name. Her plan up to this point was to drop open a book of baby names and pick the first one that sounded halfway decent. Likely not her husband's approved method, but it wasn't like she had any way of asking him his thoughts. She tried not to overthink her dream.

The papers were getting nowhere. Tonks finally had to give in and succumb to the rest of the night of tossing and turning.

xxxxx

"Dear Victoire,

How's your last year going so far? It'll breeze by before you know it. You'll wake up one morning and it'll be the end of the term. Finals are going to suck, but you're smarter than me, so I'm not worried about you. At least you don't have any big tests this year.

My interview went great. Today's my first day at work!"

Teddy chewed on the end of his quill. He wanted to tell her how nervous he was feeling, but realized that might be a rough decision given the fact that he would likely be running into either of her parents.

"I'm excited. I don't know what to look forward to yet."

He hadn't slept great the night before. It took him almost half an hour to morph his hair into a more tolerable purple colour. He made it short and curly. It had taken him so long to make himself more presentable than his current state he didn't even stop to think that perhaps he's not supposed to wear purple hair to work. He didn't know what to wear. He found a clean and intact pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt and a clean jacket. They made it explicitly clear that training was going to be hard and dressing up nicely was strongly advised against.

"I want to get there early and I can't write much else, but I love you! I hope you have a great week. You don't have to hurry in a response, but I like hearing from you. I hope school goes well.

Love, love, love,

Teddy"

Tonks was up early and already making breakfast for herself. She scolded him for insisting he had to rush out the door. He felt bad for hurting her feelings and embarrassed that his mum was made him take his lunch for his first day at his new job, but deep down he loved her for it.

He tried to swallow down his fear and make his way to the Ministry before he was needed. The main Department of Magical Law Enforcement office wasn't hard to find at all, especially since he had known how to get there since he was about eight.

It was surreal, seeing how chaotic it was. No one stopped moving for a second. There was stacks of papers taller than him lined against the wall of filing cabinets. Another wall had a row of fireplaces. There were desks, but no one was sitting. There was a substantial amount of coffee cups littering every surface.

"Lupin!" A man called. Teddy scanned the room for the voice. There was a goblin gesturing him over to his desk.

"Hello!" Teddy said breathlessly. He had to duck his head as a flying piece of paper came bolting down at him.

"You're late." The goblin muttered, handing him a large stack of papers.

"I thought I was early." Teddy said defensively.

"We were supposed to leave for the bank half an hour ago." He grumbled.

Teddy almost had to jog to keep up. "Right, Sorry, I-"

He held up his hand to tell him to stop talking. The walked through a green plume of smoke into a room with. It was weird seeing Fleur in such plain clothes. It wasn't as strange to see Bill, with his long hair and piercings and a leather jacket, but it was odd to see Fleur in jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt without makeup. Fleur waved passively at him from the other side of the cramped room in the basement of the bank.

"Lupin, I assume giving the practical skills you portrayed during your interview that you can open locks." The goblin said.

"Well, sure, I learned alohamora several years ago-"

"And what about a cursed one?" Teddy tried to think back, but was cut off before he could respond. "This is one of the most basic skills a wizard can learn. You'll need to learn about skeleton keys and the kinds of jinxes that can break open locks."

"I'm assuming 'incendio' or 'bombarda' don't count." Teddy tried to say humourously.

"Please! Pay attention!" The goblin urged. He took him over to a table where a small chest was sitting. It was rattling around, as if something inside of it wanted out. It was heavily wrapped with black chains and a giant padlock the size of his fist. The goblin took out a wand, muttering a string of Latin words, blue sparks bombarding the lock from the tip of his wand. The lock jiggled, fighting back. The goblin put away his wand. "Now you."

"Me?" Teddy nervously clutched his wand. He couldn't remember a single word the goblin had said. He mumbled something incoherent, hoping something would come out and hit it.

The goblin grumbled with disappointment. He picked up a sheet of parchment from the desk and made a note on it. "This is going on your evaluation, you know."

xxxxx

Just like she promised her mother, Elena was keeping down three meals a day and she went to all of her classes and quidditch practices. McGregor was tough, but they were neck to neck in a healthy amount of competition for the captain position. It was hard to stomach going to her study group, watching Dominique laugh and carry on with her new crush, but she went and she smiled on and was happy for her anyways. It felt nice for once to not have to keep up the charade with her.

But for the first time in months, she didn't feel like she was running.

Except for the Rowle girl, who had a weird interest in following her around.

"I'm just asking for a pass, prefect." Delphi smiled charmingly, leaning on her arm. "Is that so hard?"

"No." Elena said firmly, taking a sip of pumpkin juice. "Look, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to go bother someone else."

"What if I could give you something in exchange for it?" Elena cut her eyes. "No, seriously, what if I could get my hands on some hard-to-reach potion ingredients?"

"What are you going to do? Break into Slughorn's closet?"

"No, I can find other methods."

"Why are you bothering me? Seriously, I told you I can't help you. Go ask someone else." She said.

"Why am I not allowed to talk to you?" Delphi asked innocently. "I like your new hair, by the way."

"Why are you taunting me like this?" Elena demanded. She tried to control her frustration, but this was beginning to show on her face.

"Taunting you? I can't tell you that I like your hair?"

"You've been- you've been lying about me." Elena whispered. "Seriously?"

"Seriously, what?" Delphi asked earnestly.

"You are weird." Elena whispered loudly. "I'm not what you think I am, and I don't want to do whatever it is that you want me to do with you."

"Even be my friend?" Delphi's voice turned to be disappointed. She seemed like the kind of person to never take no for an answer to laugh and roll her eyes or to keep pestering until she got what she wanted. That seemed to dampen her spirits.

"Oh yeah, you seem like you really want me to be your friend." Elena's voice faltered. "I'm not- we are not doing anything together."

"You seem awfully defensive over something you said you aren't."

Elena was pointing her finger at her. "Listen to me, I'm not going to sit here and listen to you mouth off about me just for a stupid hall pass. You can't blackmail me and you can't bribe me. I'm trying to be a good prefect and you're messing this up for me!"

When Elena settled back in her seat, Delphi leaned over, her chin hovering above the other girl's shoulder. "What if I told you I knew where I could get my hands on some valerian root?"

That was frankly more than a good bargain. Elena had spent weeks trying to perfect her sleeping droughts, even resorting to flipping through her godfather's old potion book. It had recommended valerian root for potency and given how frantic the last couple of weeks were now that she was waiting to hear back about getting quidditch captain, she had probably let it slip during one of these routine dinner sessions. "Slughorn's closet doesn't count."

"Nope. I can it somewhere better. Somewhere fresher than that." Delphi persuaded.

"And you aren't going to break any major school rules, right?"

"Absolutely not."

"For a couple of hall passes?"

"Perhaps... a couple of hall passes and someone to go to Hogsmeade with me."

Dominique was happily unavailable, and the Halloween teip was coming up soon. A couple of passes surely wouldn't get her in any more trouble than she had been in the past. Elena pulled a notepad out of her pocket, tearing off two sheets and slipping them under the table to her. "Please use them wisely."

Delphi smiled and hugged her arm. "Give me a few days and I'll get you your valerian root." She jumped to her feet before running off.

Sometimes during the night, merepeople would swim by the dark windows in the Slytherin common room. One in particular was gazing inside, its eyes flickering rapidly. Their eyes were large and black and void of any emotion. Their skin looked like something between silk and paper. Elena pressed her fingers against the glass and the creature let out a muffled screech, its flourished tail swirling in a circle amongst the algae and seaweed. It was much past her bedtime, but there was something inherently terrifying in the idea of her head hitting the pillow yet.

"Elena?" A sheepish boy's voice asked.

"Hello?" Elena said awkwardly, turning around. "Albus? What's... up?"

Albus Potter's face was stark white in the dimly lit common room. "Why are you awake?"

"Why are you awake?"

"You're not going to... write me up, are you?"

"No." She shook her head. "But why are you awake?"

"I'm not sure I want to be here anymore." Albus quickly confessed.

"You're frightened, aren't you?" Elena chuckled, crossing her arms.

"No!" He quickly defended.

"Yeah, you are." Elena tilted her head. "What is it?"

Albus sighed and dropped down onto the sofa. "How come you got put in here?"

She shrugged, defeated. "Beats me. Your dad said you were upset because you wanted to be in the same house as your brother."

"It's more than that." He grumbled.

"Am I going to have to give you a talk about the fact that you're not going to wake up one day and be a death eater?" She remarked. "Teddy has to give me that talk my first night here."

"I don't like here." Albus said. "The kids keep calling me a squib."

"Yeah? They did with me too. My parents thought I was a squib. People suck sometimes." She said. "You don't have to sit and be miserable for the next six and a half years."

"I know." Albus got really stiff. "I know I shouldn't feel this bad, it's just that everyone's treating me like I'm an outsider. Like everyone knows that I'm not supposed to be here."

Elena didn't quite know how to console him. "I... I wouldn't mind tutoring you, if you need help with potions? I'm a decent flyer, if you want to borrow my broom sometime."

Albus sat, pondering hard about her offer. "I'll think about it."