AN: idk who's still invested in this... but I'm just writing for fun here so... thanks for reading, I guess. I've not had the energy to write much else.
Tonks's fingers drummed nervously against the kitchen table. She was completely nauseous but she forced herself to take a sip of her orange juice. Teddy didn't say anything. His hair was completely black. He was absently tying and untying his gold coloured tie that was a part of his funeral attire. Elena was at his side, similarly fidgeting with her set of pearls. They weren't even her pearls, she didn't own pearls. She didn't know whose pearls they were. Not too much black, just as Remus had asked. Tonks had ditched her usual black attire that she saved for when an auror died and wore a dull purple dress. Remus had helped her pick it out of her closet. He said it was almost the colour of her hair the first day he saw her. Elena was in a long sleeve green velvet dress with a white collar.
Tonks's mouth came open, but she was struggling with her words. "I... I need to tell you all something." She spat out.
The siblings exchanged looks. Teddy cleared his throat. "What's wrong?"
Tonks shakily bit her lip. "You're going to be very mad at me."
"Why?" Elena asked suspiciously.
Their mother closed her eyes, her head falling in her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I should've said something, I should've... I shouldn't have..."
"Shouldn't have... what?" Teddy elbowed his sister to make her stop biting her nails.
"I shouldn't have kept this a secret." Tonks grimaced. "I'm pregnant."
Teddy froze up and his eyes were wide. Elena broke off her nail, sputtering. "Excuse me? What?" She shouted. "How—what? You're... you're too old, aren't you? How could you... you shouldn't have... how?"
Tonks frantically shook her head. "We didn't mean to... we weren't trying to have a baby, it was so sudden... Dad and I thought nothing would happen so we weren't careful enough and I suppose we-"
Both of the kids groaned in disgust. Even Teddy couldn't bother to be the mature sibling now. "Really?!" He said. "Dad's busy dying and you couldn't even manage to properly use protection?"
Elena heaved. "I can't—this can't be happening. This is the worst."
"It's not going to be that bad." Tonks tried to reason.
"I can't believe this." Teddy said. He was usually more mellow than this, he should've been happy, he thought, but he felt like an anger was awoken inside of him. It was an emotion he wasn't prepared to feel yet. "Mum, you-"
He was cut short when the front door opened. All of the colour drained from Tonks's face as she turned around in her seat and all of the eyes in the room snapped to the figure at the door. "Sorry, jus' though' I'd let myself in, yeah?" All of the coloured drained from Tonks's face. He was holding a bright white bouquet of lilies in a glass vase. "I needed to talk to ya-"
Elena's eyes were burning with tears. "Excuse me, but we're in the middle of something."
He tried to put on a smile, but something about it looked wrong. Tonks shuddered. "Come on in. We're just talking. You're... family anyways, as far as I'm concerned." She waved her hand over to her daughter, who took the vase thoughtlessly.
"What's wrong?" He asked, his hand carefully stroking her shoulder. Tonks turned her head away, wiping the tears away from her face.
"I'm fine." She said sharply. Dwight rubbed his hand over the back of her shoulder to comfort her. "We've still got some breakfast if you want some. We've still got a little bit before the wake." Tonks gave in and let her friend hug her. Dwight smoothed down her dark purple hair.
Teddy's jaw fell open to say something and his sister clumsily rolled her ankle, the vase falling over onto the counter, dumping water and flowers all down the side onto the floor. "Elena, you fucking idiot." Teddy scowled. His train of thought completely derailed.
She was clutching her head, trying to come up with something quickly. "I didn't mean too, I'm sorry, I just had a dizzy spell and-"
"Just shut up." Teddy growled in a low voice.
xxxxx
There was the click of a camera. Tonks was sitting sideways on the bed, her legs folded beneath her. She quickly glanced up from the notebook in her lap for a moment, hopeful, but was disastrously disappointed and frowned.
"Yer still workin' hard in here, yeah?" Dwight leaned against the doorway. Amusement spread over his face. He slipped the small camera in his pocket. "Thought you were s'posed to be Gavin' a fuckin' baby in here. I don' think they're gonna love see in' their prized auror not taken care o' herself like that."
She scowled, protectively rubbing a hand over her large stomach. She was still in her pajamas, a hospital gown still draped over the end of the bed. "I better not find that plastered all over the auror office."
"No promises." He smirked. But it quickly faded away. "Where's yer mum? Yer kids?"
"I've not gotten ahold of either of them yet, but I will soon."
"So yer... all alone then?" He said. He carefully walked over towards her.
"Mum'll probably be here soon." Tonks said confidently, not looking up to see him. She copied something down from her notes.
"Shouldn' you be... you need ta lie down. Give me tha-"
"I'm fine. I don't see what the big deal is anyways, he's not coming out of me right now."
"He kind of is though, Tonks." Dwight walked over to the edge of the bed, fixing the pillows. "Ya need ta lie down."
"I'm okay, Dwig-" She squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm not in that much pain. Come on now, I've done this before."
"Sixteen years ago?" His voice dropped. "Do ya at least want ta hold my hand?"
"No, it's just—" Tonks shook her head. She sighed deeply. "It's fine. Really, this is probably only going to take a few hours, I'm not even going bother with drugs. I just want this to all be over with so I can go home."
Dwight sat down beside her, placing his hand firmly on her knee. "I'm sure you'll be fine, but I don' wanna see my... my best frien' 'ave to suffer like this."
Tonks sucked in a deep breath through her mouth. "It doesn't hurt that bad."
"It's gonna." Dwight tried not to smile.
"You shouldn't be here." She snapped.
"No, I shouldn', but I don' think Remus is gonna make it, so I guess yer gonna 'ave to put up wit' me." He replied in equally a rough tone. Tonks looked back down at her work and engrossed herself with it. Her fingers slipped up and intertwined with his. "Where are the kiddos? I haven't 'eard from Lenabug since... I dunno, my owls keep comin' back empty handed."
"I'm not owling Elena."
"Why not?" Dwight asked.
"Because... because she's not going to come home one way or the other. It doesn't matter" Tonks shrugged. Dwight could barely see her expression but he knew she was disturbed by the idea of not getting to see her daughter.
He nodded absently. "You got any baby clothes?"
Tonks shrugged again. "Some, yeah. I didn't keep much of the kid's things. Sucks. I have to start from scratch again."
"They're gonna make great big siblin's." Dwight said. "I don' think anyone's gonna want to bully that kid 'cause Elena'll probably hex them firs', and Teddy'll be tha one givin' 'em all the advice Remus have to him."
"Can you—" Tonks scowled. "Can you stop saying his name right now? Please?"
Dwight nodded slowly. "Speakin' o' names, do ya have a name picked out?"
"Henry." Tonks said.
"That's a nice name."
"No it's not." She remarked. "I basically flipped open a magazine at the super market and picked the first name I saw. But we're not telling the kids that."
"Well there's still time to come up with a new one." He laughed lightly. "Sparrow's a nice name."
"Mhm, no, sorry." Tonks sighed, shaking her head. "Anything else?"
"You got a middle name?"
"Elena didn't get one either, so it's not like it's that big of a deal." Dwight looked confused. Tonks sucked in a shaky breath, clutching her stomach. "Shit, I was supposed to... I forgot I had something I was supposed to do with Fleur today. She had a big presentation at the bank and I promised we could go out today because I wasn't due for another week or so, and now she's going to wonder why I didn't show up and she's going to go to the house to find me... she'll know I'm here, she'll tell everyone that I'm here... I'm just not sure I'm ready for everyone to know that I'm doing this, not right now..."
"Yer not ready, are you?" He said quietly. Dwight crawled up onto the bed, hugging her in his arms.
Tonks shook her head. "I'm not... I'm not scared." She tilted her head. Her lips were pursed together with thought. For a moment, she dropped her pen to think. "You know, when I had Teddy, I couldn't bond with him. I tried to nurse him and all that and I felt... numb. I loved him and all, but I didn't feel... maternal enough. It wasn't until May that I actually felt... I felt like I was doing something right. I almost died in the war and that's what it took, I guess. But right now, with this one... I feel like things are going to feel wrong all over again."
"Are you... trying to say that you don't want 'I'm?"
"I cherished Teddy because I couldn't imagine losing him after that." Tonks shook her head. "The thing is, I don't know if I'm going to be able to bond again this time. I feel like Remus would be disappointed in me. He wouldn't be happy with me for just..."
"He'd... I didn't know 'im all that well, but I don' think he'd be disappointed in you, no matter what."
"I think I'd do anything for just five more minutes with him. There's so much I still have left to say." She remarked. "You have no idea how many little things I forgot to say."
"Like what? If you had only five minutes?"
Tonks bit down on her bottom lip. "First off, I think if I got five minutes, I'd have kill him myself." Dwight laughed aloud. "It's true! Love of my fucking life and he thinks he can just go and die on me like that, oh sure, I'd like to see him get away with it this time."
"Would you now? You wouldn't tell him you loved him? 'Cause he sure loved you. Lots."
"I loved him too." Tonks finally broke down in sobs. "God, I miss him so much."
xxxxx
"Working hard, potion's master?" A voice floated into the classroom. The dungeons were usually dark, but during the day, rays of sunshine would float down through the green lake and bounce off the glass windows. At night, the occasional moonbeam might help illuminate them. The fireplace in the classroom was lit and a girl was sitting in her pajamas in from of it, a large cauldron bubbling on the floor.
"Delphi? You're... still awake?" Elena whispered. Her eyes squinted, but she didn't quite get a good look at the girl.
"Why are we whispering?" Delphi walked over and sat on her knees on the other side of the cauldron.
"I'll write you up for being out of bed." Elena threatened.
"No you won't." The other girl threatened back. "Did Slug kick you out of his office?"
She shook her head. "It's late and I still want to work. I've got to get this one done."
"Shouldn't you be in bed by now?" Delphi nodded. "You're worried about something, aren't you? Your fingernails are bleeding."
"I would've gone for a run but it's dark. Besides, I've got practice tomorrow and I might as well use up that valerian root that Sprout said went mysteriously missing." Elena tried to inconspicuously nite her fingernails. "So yes, I'm busy thinking, I need adequate space, so go on before I write you up."
"We're having a little party." Delphi remarked.
"We?" Elena responded, not bothering to look up at her.
"Bunch of seven years. You're my plus one."
Elena laughed. "Nope. Sorry. Busy."
"What if I told you that you get to dress up all nice... might be some firewhiskey for your troubles?" Delphi persuaded. She jumped to her feet, holding her hands out to the other girl. "Come on, I'll do your makeup."
"No thanks." Elena said again.
"Come on, this is like my only chance to play big sister." Delphi urged again. "Please? Consider this me paying off all my debt. Trust me, a little alcohol therapy never hurt anyone."
Elena was very hesitant, but she managed to let Delphi dress her up. She had stashed an almost full bottle of firewhiskey under her bed which was good enough for the four other seventh years and their collection to let her join them on the bank by the lake. Delphi only took her eyes off of her friend for a moment. Drunk Elena has managed to wade up to her knees in the lake.
"Elena, love, don't go swimming, please!" Delphi called. The other seventh years snickered. "Poor girl can't hold her liquor, can she? Elena!"
She was sort of spinning in place, her eyes staring up at something far away in the trees. Delphi pried off her shoes and walked over to her, hiking her dress up as she went. Elena suddenly realized she had company. "Oh! Hi, sorry, just... walking, you know?"
"Uh huh." Delphi nodded. Elena was swaying as if she was listening to music. "So do you want to tell me what's got you in such a depression, prefect?"
Elena closed her eyes and hummed. "I'm not depressed."
"Right..." Delphi chuckled, grabbing her wrists to steady her swaying. Elena slumped forward, her head resting in the crook of Delphi's neck. "What exactly are you doing?"
Elena's eyes flittered open, her mouth hanging ajar. "I... I want you to kiss me."
Delphi burst out laughing. "Um, no thank you!"
"What, are you afraid they're going to call you a homo or something? They'll think it's funny."
"You're a homo." She tried to steady Elena.
"I'm not telling you what's wrong until you kiss me."
"Not happening."
"I'll do it. You think I won't just jump under the water, fully clothed? They'll blame you for being friends with a mad person."
"You're already mad trying to kiss me, now come on before one of us loses a toe out here." Delphi paused for only a second before Elena grabbed her face and quickly kissed her on the lips before laughing out loud. The crowd of seventh years on the banks were cackling at the sight, but Delphi froze in place, shocked. "Elena. Stop it. Right now."
"Or what?"
"Or... I'll... hex you."
"Do it then. Come in! You won't!"
Delphi paused, seriously considering it. "Elena what's going on? You're drunk because you didn't eat anything, right?"
Elena hummed again. "It's... whatever, really." She broke off from her friend's hands. "I mean really, my mum's a skank, but what's new, right? She's literally like a few years away from being head auror and she could make her fits as big as she wanted, so really, I'm not surprised she got knocked up like this..."
"Honestly, all mum's are skanks. You learn to live with it." Delphi sighed.
"Yeah, but there's no fucking way my dad got her knocked up, I mean come on, he's old and he smelled like hospitals and he and could barely walk up a flight of fucking stairs much less manage to—" Elena stumbled, briefly sinking into a hole. "Shit. Goddamn it."
"Come on. Before you freeze. Let's go, Lenabug."
"You don't... you don't get to call me that. Where did you even hear that?" Elena said threateningly. Delphi had finally caught her and Elena held on tightly to her. "You gotta kiss me again if you wanna call me that."
"Okay, prefect." Delphi rolled her eyes. "Keep walking. I'm not kissing you ever again."
"And you know another thing! Do you know what... what the odds of being a metamorphmanimanigus is when your mum is one?"
"A what?"
"A meta... metamanorma... metamormango... metamorphman... one of those people."
"What are the odds?" Delphi asked, fishing her friend out of the water.
"Two thirds! And that baby does not have blue hair, so I don't know what's wrong with it." Elena shook her head.
Delphi carefully sat her down on a patch of grass. "Whatever you say prefect." Elena fell back onto the grassy bank, her eyes staring straight up to the stars. "Do I need to carry you to bed?" Delphi taunted.
"No." Elena shook her head. She felt a little bit more sober for a moment. Her eyes were welling up with tears. "I'm busy thinking."
"About?"
"I... I wish my dad wasn't dead. I wish my mum actually acted like she cared about me. I wish my brother wasn't such an ass to me all the time. I just... I wish things were different. I wish things were normal again."
Delphi leaned over, stroking her hair. "I know." Her finger twisted around a curl. "Maybe one day, okay?"
"Promise?" Elena choked.
Delphi giggled, scrunching her nose at her. "Promise. You can have whatever you want."
