It had been two week since the accident. Both Derek and Spencer were released from the hospital and returned home. Spencer still hadn't gotten his memory back, much to everyone's dismay. It was a rainy Tuesday morning, when Molly decided to take Spencer over to the BAU to see if it maybe jogged his memory.
They stepped off the elevator and walked through the glass doors. Spencer looked around at the hustle and bustle of the bullpen. Molly held his hand and walked him over to his desk that sat empty. He still limped slightly from the knee injury. Some days he walked better than others.
"This is your desk," Molly said as she let go of his hand.
Spencer looked at her before turning his attention to his desk. He ran his fingers across the books that covered the top. He pulled one out and flipped it open to look at the words. He placed it back and moved on to another. He did this several times.
"Well, look who it is."
Spencer and Molly looked up to see Derek coming toward them, the sound of his crutches clicking down the walkway. Once he got down the stairs he headed toward them. Spencer placed the book back on his desk and stood waiting for Derek to reach them.
"How you feelin' pretty Ricky?" Derek asked.
Spencer furrowed his brow and shot Molly a look.
"It's a nickname he made up for you," Molly said in a soft voice.
She saw the pain in Derek's eyes that his best friend still couldn't remember him.
"I'm feeling ok," Spencer said. "How are you?"
"I'm good. Hate these damn things, but hopefully I'll be off them in another week," Derek said indicating his crutches. "Emily's doing great. She's already been cleared to come back to work. She's actually just out to lunch with J.J. and Garcia."
With that the sound of a high-pitched squeal rang through the office.
"Speaking of the devil," Derek said grinning.
Penelope's high heels clattered across the floor as she ran towards Spencer. Her arms flew around his neck as she squeezed him tight. He was startled by this action and while he didn't understand it, something told him that he didn't like being this close to someone other than Molly. He gave an awkward smile as Penelope let go of him.
"Boy wonder! We miss you! How are you feeling?" she asked ruffling his hair.
He brushed the messy locks out of his eyes and smiled again.
"I'm good," he said. "Molly thought it might help me to see some of my work things."
"No luck," J.J. asked standing slightly behind Penelope.
"No, I still don't remember anything," Spencer said as he tried to itch beneath the cast on his wrist.
"Let's show him the conference room. Maybe that will help," Penelope suggested as she grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the stairs.
Molly stayed behind with Derek, who didn't feel like hobbling around on his crutches, and Emily who had recovered well. Derek sat down on Spencer's desk and placed the crutches to the side. He looked at Molly who gave him a small smile.
"How are you holding up?" he asked her.
Molly kept her eyes on Spencer, who was just reaching the conference room. "One day at a time," she sighed.
"I can't imagine this is easy on you. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know," Derek offered.
"Yes, anything please don't hesitate," Emily said.
Molly nodded as she bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out. She looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath as she tried to remain composed. She felt Derek's hand on her shoulder before he pulled her into a hug.
"It's going to be ok," he said as he held her tightly.
"I miss him so much," she cried into his shoulder. "I'm so grateful he's alive and I have him, but it's not my Spencer. It's like he's a stranger. I want to help him so bad and I can't. The other night I woke up and found him trying to find a book to read. He said they were all too difficult for him to understand. He eventually found one of Henry's dinosaur books and read that.
It took him 30 minutes to read that book. He would read the words and stare at the pictures like he was seeing it all for the first time. It broke my heart to see him that lost. I don't know what I can do for him. How is he going to help me raise a child when he doesn't even know how to function as an adult anymore."
Molly began crying harder as Derek rubbed her arms soothingly and Emily gently patted her back.
"Molly, I've seen that kid go through a lot. He's been kidnapped, drugged, shot in the knee, shot in the neck, watched his girlfriend get murdered and he's always found a way back. I have no doubt in my mind that he will remember again. We just can't give up on him. We have to keep reminding him of who he was and that we love him. He'll come back to us. I know it," Derek said.
Molly looked up at Derek to see that he truly believed what he was saying. She nodded and saw Spencer, Penelope, and J.J. walking back toward them. She wiped her eyes quickly and grabbed a tissue off Spencer's desk. She blew her nose and tossed the tissue before the others reached her.
"What do you say we go get some lunch handsome," Molly said throwing on a fake smile.
Spencer nodded and said his goodbyes as they headed off to find somewhere to eat.
(xxxxx)
Molly sat in bed reading a magazine when Spencer wandered into the bedroom. She put the magazine down and smiled at him. He gave her a forced smile that wiped her smile away.
"Hey, you alright?" she asked tossing the magazine onto the bedside table.
Spencer walked over to his side of the bed and sat down facing Molly. He seemed to be thinking about something as if unsure what to say. Molly scooted closer to him and ran her hand along his back.
"Spence, talk to me," she said, worried about him.
"I was just reading a book … it was about this guy who fell in love with his best friend …" he trailed off.
"Summers in Paris?" Molly asked, knowing if it was a love story it was probably one of her books. Spencer nodded. "That's a great book. Did you have a question about it?"
Spencer nodded again as he played with a loose string on the bedspread.
"You don't have to be afraid to ask me," Molly assured him.
Spencer looked up at her for a moment, before turning his attention back to the bedspread.
"Well, Adam falls in love with Grace and it … it talks about how he loved the way she felt when he touched her … the silkiness of her skin … the smell of her soap," Spencer was saying, still not looking Molly in the eyes.
"Spencer," Molly said reaching out to stop his hand from playing with the string.
He looked at her hand, but didn't move. Molly tried to think of what to say to him, but words seemed to escape her. After a moment of silence, Molly lifted her nightgown off and tossed it onto the floor, leaving her in just her blue lace underwear. She moved even closer to Spencer, grabbed his hand, and placed it on her shoulder. Spencer hesitantly looked at her body before he looked into her eyes.
"Go ahead," she encouraged him.
He very gently ran his hand along her shoulders and down her arms. Goosebumps raised on her flesh as he grazed her skin carefully, his eyes following his hands in deep thought. When he reached her shoulders again, he stopped and looked at her for approval. Molly nodded as his hand moved lower to touch her breasts.
She tried to keep her breathing steady, so she wouldn't scare him or make him think he was doing anything wrong. His fingertips lightly stroked her nipple that was now hard and waiting for more. Molly forced herself to keep this from getting sexual. He didn't need that. He just needed to remember intimacy and explore what it was like touching her.
She stretched herself out on the bed as he continued to touch every inch of her skin. His fingers ran over each bump that her ribs left. She jumped when his hand touched her waist. She opened her eyes and giggled.
"Sorry, I'm a little ticklish," she said.
Spencer smiled at her as he moved his hand from her waist and across her stomach. As he placed his palm across her midsection his eyes widened in surprise. Molly grinned at his reaction.
"Did you feel that?" she asked, her eyes glistening with tears.
"Was that?" Spencer said looking at her in shock.
Molly nodded. Spencer looked back at her belly and placed his hand on top of it. He waited a moment before another smile crossed his face, a genuine smile. He leaned closer to her stomach and to her surprise he placed a small kiss right where his palm had been previously.
"Hi, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm your dad," he said. "I don't know who you are and truthfully, I don't know who I am, but I know I love you. If that's even possible."
Molly couldn't hold back the tears anymore. They began to stream from her eyes as his words went straight to her heart. Spencer looked up at her after a moment and saw her crying. His smile was replaced by his ever-present frown.
"Did I upset you?" he asked.
Molly shook her head no as she cried harder. "I just miss you so much. I know you are here, but you aren't here and I need you. I need to feel your love again. I need your touch, your kisses, your laugh, your rambling facts. I'm trying to be strong for you, but I'm so scared that I've lost you," she sobbed as she turned on her side and buried her face into her pillow.
She felt a warmth against her bare skin as Spencer laid down next to her. He placed his arm around her waist and pulled her close. She felt his warm breath on her neck as he just let her cry. Eventually Molly gave in to her exhaustion, her grief. She started falling asleep when she heard Spencer talk.
"I'm sorry. I am trying so hard to remember. I feel things. Things that I know are part of me trying to get out. Like I know I don't like being hugged, except by you. I don't like the dark. They are all things I have no idea why I feel that way, but I just know it's what I feel. I know I love you. That's odd to say since I don't remember anything about you other than what you've told me, but I know I love you.
It's in my heart. I feel it there. And touching you … touching you feels right. Like I know that whoever I was loved the feeling of your soft warm skin. I can feel it in my fingers. I know this makes no sense," he said rolling on to his back and massaging his temples.
Molly rolled over to face him. The tears had started up again and all she knew was she needed to kiss him. She needed to feel his soft lips kissing away her fears. Without giving it more thought she leaned over him and placed her lips to his. She pulled back to look into his eyes.
He stared deep into hers before pulling her back down to his mouth. This time he slowly moved his lips across hers. Lightly nipping at her top lip, followed next by her bottom lip. Molly pushed it a little further and slid her tongue into his mouth.
Their tongues gently danced with one another as Spencer now tangled his fingers in her hair. After a few more good kisses, Molly pulled away to give them some air. Spencer's eyes opened and he smiled at her.
"See, I know that I loved doing that. I know that I want more," he said.
"I want more too, but not tonight. I just … I just want you to hold me," Molly said. "I need to feel your arms around me."
Spencer nodded as she snuggled against him. She felt him place a kiss on her head and soon they both fell asleep. Clinging to each other. Both praying that tomorrow Spencer's memories would return.
