The Autobot Files
File #010 - Sick
Even as she screamed, Crystal couldn't hear what she was saying. She couldn't process in thought or sound the words that flew out of her mouth, no matter how loud she forced them out. The fact that her vocal processor merely increased in volume and she wasn't able to feel the strain of actually screaming only added to her frustration. If her optics had the ability to form tears, they would have been too full for her to see.
Sideswipe took the verbal thrashing without complaint. The two of them stood alone in the snow a few paces from the Ark's entrance. The red Autobot flinched then and again as Crystal's full anger was unleashed on him, but he did not back down or make any move to deter her wrath. His lack of response only angered her more and she screamed again.
By then, the ruckus had attracted the attention of other Autobots Curious heads peered out of the base.
Crystal's rage had hit its peak. Without any other outlet to release it on, she lurched forward and shoved Sideswipe in the chest. The startled Autobot fell backwards into the snow and stared at her with wide, stunned optics. Crystal returned the look with one similar to his own before turning and fleeing on foot across the countryside. She had to get away, away from all of them.
FIVE DAYS EARLIER
"Well, this is it," Ultra Magnus announced as he stood outside the Ark. "This was definitely a learning experience Optimus. I shall not forget it anytime soon."
It was now time to part. The week was up for Ultra Magnus and his crew. Sky Lynx had burned extra energon to get to Earth on time and was now refueled for departure back to Cyberton.
"We were happy to have you," Optimus confirmed. "I do hope you will return again. Next time, perhaps, as the commander of the Autobots on Earth."
Ultra Magnus nodded in agreement. Eventually moving an entirely different unit to Earth and getting the Earth Autobots back to Cybertron had always been the goal. They had certainly taken a large step in that direction this week.
"I look forward to it, Prime. Until we meet again, may the Matrix protect you."
Behind Optimus, Ultra Magnus noticed Smokescreen standing at the base entrance, leaning against the side. The blue Datsun offered a wave, but that had been the only thing offered from him the past few days. Whatever secrets he kept, he would keep for a long time yet. Ultra Magnus nodded to him and then stepped into the ship. The rest of his crew: Beachcomber, Skids, and Inferno followed. The latter stopped to look back before getting inside.
Red Alert was nowhere to be seen. No doubt his aft was still glued to that chair in the surveillance room and he was watching them board. Inferno was tempted to stay, but many of them had agreed that in order for Red Alert to regain his confidence, he would have to do it on his own. So Inferno boarded Sky Lynx as well, and back to Cybertron they went.
.
Inside the Ark, everything began to move forward again. The first Autobot to be officially briefed on Crystal's existence was currently in the medbay, examining her as she sat on a table.
"Fascinating," Perceptor said as he looked her over from all angles. "Complete organic consciousness transferred into a non organic body, extraordinary. I mean, I was aware you had done this before with Spike, I believe, but his transfer was less than 48 hours. This..."
"It's been a little over two months," Ratchet offered.
"Amazing! And her personality and memories? They are still all in tact?"
"As near as we can tell, the transfer was one hundred percent complete."
"Any side effects?
"A few glitches, but so far we've been able to correct them as they come."
"Does she—"
"I'm right here!" Crystal barked. "If you want to talk about me like I'm not here, I am happy to leave."
Perceptor had the good sense to look embarrassed. "Yes, you're quite right, my dear. Please pardon me. I sometimes forget that not all science is merely facts and data. That there is also life in there as well."
Crystal let it go. She found Perceptor quite interesting himself. He had a softer way about him than most of the other Autobots, both in speech and action. He obviously did not see as much battle as many of the soldiers on the base. It made her wonder what other types of Autobots were out there.
"And this is indeed a most unfortunate circumstance in which we have met," Perceptor went on. "But I consider it a privilege to have this opportunity to learn from your experience. I will be happy to be of any assistance in continuing your health and wellness if such need may arise."
"Uh, thanks," Crystal said stupidly. Her voice and speech sounded so crass next to his. "And you boys are welcome to science about this all you want, but I would really appreciate as little poking and prodding to my, uh, physical person as possible."
"Understandable, very understandable," Perceptor agreed with an energetic nod. He was already starting to get that look that Wheeljack got sometimes. That bright-opticed look when there was much experimenting to be done. "Perhaps I could at least observe you from time to time? For research purposes only, of course."
Crystal gave Ratchet a look that said she expected him to protect her in case this Autobot and his 'research' got out of hand.
.
As the day went on, Crystal was introduced to the other new arrivals. Smokescreen already knew about her and hardly gave her a glance before going on to do whatever it was he did. Powerglide seemed uninterested either way, as if it happened all the time, but was polite.
The one called Red Alert visibly twitched as he was given this new information. It appeared he already had enough data in his processor, learning something new was going to break him. Crystal asked if he needed to visit the med bay. Red Alert assured her he was fine and looked a bit comforted when he saw how calm and levelheaded she was.
After the formalities were out of the way, Crystal insisted she get back to her usual. She was still eager to learn as much as she could on general repair to both Cybertronians and the equipment they had within their base. It was usually Wheeljack's job to teach her, but since he wasn't around, Ratchet set up a schedule for her to perform basic repair and routine maintenance on Autobots and the base computer systems alike.
Performing these tasks, even if they were considered menial to others, made Crystal feel like she was doing something important. It gave her purpose to her day and she enjoyed it. Unfortunately, it made it very easy to find and corner those who wanted to talk to her. Mostly Perceptor.
Two days in and he had bombarded her with questions of every kind. They ranged from the practical to the downright random. Anything from how her short term and long term memory was to what was her favorite color, and if it was still her favorite color after her transfer to her metal body.
Crystal did her best to answer the questions while she attended to her own tasks. When they became too many, she would attempt to politely inform him she needed to get her work done. That only deterred him for an hour or two before he would come back with a new batch of questions.
By the third day, Crystal no longer bothered with being polite. She began developing what Brawn jokingly called her 'Ratchet Mode' in which she would only tolerate a few questions before getting annoyed and telling him to get the hell out so she could do her work. Perceptor seemed used to the treatment and never took it personally. Though as a result, he started visiting her less often and narrowing down his questions to the vital ones.
Red Alert came a few times to talk to her as well. Crystal didn't mind his visits at all. He seemed a lot more put together after their first meeting. His questions were few and circled around how he could better do his job to keep her safe. As they talked, she couldn't help but notice he and Perceptor had similar accents. They sounded English in her language, it made her wonder if the accents meant they were from the same area on Cybertron.
When she wasn't working, Crystal was a bit harder to find. She didn't like sitting around if she could help it and would often give herself her own tasks to do: either research or running tests of her own. Or, since the incident in the caves, there was one other activity she enjoyed doing.
Sideswipe meandered merrily through the base, not up to anything particular. Little did he know, someone was waiting around the corner. As he turned, Crystal jumped out in front of him and yelled "Boo!"
Sideswipe squawked and flailed his arms before stumbling around and taking off down the way he came. Crystal chuckled evilly to herself as she watched him go.
"Really Princess, this is how you spend your time now?"
She turned to see that both Hound and Brawn had witnessed her ambush. The latter folding his arms in disapproval.
"It's fun," Crystal grinned. "Besides, he's the one who started it."
"Very mature of you," Hound smiled back. "Though it isn't very nice."
"How do you think it makes me feel? He runs off like I've got some horrible disease every time he sees me. It hurts my feelings."
"Don't worry about it," Brawn insisted. "I said it before and I'll say it again, that boy isn't wired right. You can't take it personal."
"Still, I might as well get some entertainment out of it if nothing else," Crystal sang cheerily.
Hound and Brawn looked at each other and shrugged. Sideswipe sure gave out a lot of grief in his time, maybe it was his turn to get some back. It was harmless enough and Crystal was right, it was quite entertaining.
.
Sideswipe's comeuppance, however, was suddenly dished out as a much harsher punishment than anyone thought he deserved. A team had been dispatched as a result of nearby Decepticon activity. They had been gone the entire day. Late in the evening, Crystal was in the med bay when it was signaled for high alert. The team was returning and there were injuries, serious injuries.
Crystal looked up as the notice sounded in the med bay. Ratchet was already in action, working around the med bay to prep it for patients. A few moments later, Perceptor came in, ready to offer a hand as needed. Crystal watched them both uselessly, not knowing how to assist. A few more minutes and there was a wave of bodies as Autobots crowded into the room. Crystal quickly moved to a corner to stay out of everyone's way.
The biggest excitement was around Optimus Prime as he came in carrying another red painted form. Sideswipe's lifeless body hung in his arms. His optics were dark and his arms and legs dripped with pink, blue and black fluids. Crystal didn't get a good look, but she managed to notice there was a gaping hole in the Autobot's chest.
Ratchet ordered him set down and he and Perceptor both pounced on the body, looking to stabilize his condition and to stop the fluid leakage.
Just outside the med bay, another, louder commotion had broken out. Above it all was Sunstreaker's distinct voice screaming his rage at the top of his processor. Crystal quickly skirted around the group to the main doors. What she saw made her feel a little faint.
Sunstreaker was being held back by Brawn and Tracks. He was currently sporting a shattered windshield and an evil looking gash across his abdomen that spilled out generous amounts of fluids. Sunstreaker ignored the wound and continued to fight.
"Let go of me!" he snarled with a ferocity Crystal had never seen before. "You fraggers don't touch me! I need to get in there! Sideswipe!"
"There's nothing you can do," Brawn insisted in a steady voice. "Let the Doc handle it."
"You're making your own wounds worse," Tracks added, though he was a bit riled up himself. "Stop fighting! You're just hurting yourself!"
"I don't care! Let me go! He needs me in there! I swear to Primus I'll kill you both if you don't get your hands off me!"
Brawn nodded to Tracks to get the crazed Autobot on his knees where he would be easier to handle. Sunstreaker snarled in new rage as he was pulled to the floor.
At this point, Brawn noticed Crystal gawking at them.
"You might want to get out of here for a while, Princess. You don't need to see this."
Crystal instantly disappeared into the med bay, but only for a moment. She came back out with a small kit in her hands and steeled herself before kneeling in front of Sunstreaker. He lessened his struggling a bit with her in front of him, but didn't look any calmer.
"You're hurt," Crystal told him simply.
"Sideswipe got it worse," Sunstreaker growled back. "I have to help him."
She cupped his face in her hands. "You already did. You got him home."
Sunstreaker slumped at her words. The fight in him dissolved.
"How about you come with me and we'll get you cleaned up and repaired. Then you can wait with me to see how Sideswipe is, okay?"
Sunstreaker looked down at his knees. "Yeah...okay."
Slowly, Tracks and Brawn loosened their grip on the seeming defeated Sunstreaker. But as soon as he was free, the yellow Autobot lurched toward the med bay, knocking Crystal out of the way in the process.
"Sneaky little—" Tracks grunted as he tackled Sunstreaker again. He and Brawn pulled him back.
"I got them!" Bluestreak called as he ran towards them. He handed what looked like a pair of cuffs to Brawn who clapped them on Sunstreaker's wrists. Almost immediately, Sunstreaker's fight seemed to be drained out of him.
"What did you do?" Crystal asked as she got to her feet.
"Stasis cuffs," Brawn explained. "They limit several of the main systems so they don't have the strength to fight back."
"Can he walk?"
"Well enough."
"Good." Crystal's expression of worry changed to her business face. "Then get him up and follow me. He's a mess."
Tracks and Brawn pulled Sunstreaker to his feet. Bluestreak motioned to follow, but Brawn shook his head, signaling they were fine. Bluestreak ran off to assist elsewhere while Crystal led them down the hall. They entered the wash racks where Sunstreaker was sat on one of the benches.
"You may be feeling well enough to throw a fit, but we still need to put you back together so you can be there for Sideswipe," Crystal said.
Sunstreaker let out a low growl, but didn't say anything else. She ignored him and went to fetch some cleaning cloths and a bucket. She filled it with solvent meant specifically for dissolving internal fluids and went to work washing the gunk off his chest first. There were a few smaller wounds revealed, but still nothing as big as the large gash down his midsection.
As Crystal cleaned the area and then dug into her kit for repair tools, Brawn decided he wouldn't be needed for a while and went to see where else he could help. Tracks opted to say in the doorway and watch over his friend.
The room fell quiet as Crystal worked. She pulled out a small welder and attempted to seal all the leaks dribbling out of the wound. Sunstreaker remained quiet, but he was clearly still not happy.
"Do you want to talk?" she asked as she worked.
"What do you know about it?" Sunstreaker growled lowly. "You've never seen a battle in your life. You just sit in here all nice and cozy, playing pretend like we're a friggin' family or something. But there's a real war going on out there. We could die any day and you want me to talk about ."
Crystal kept calm at the accusations and didn't look up from her work. "Yes, if it makes you fell better."
For a moment, Sunstreaker looked as though he was going to lay into her again. The his scowl softened.
"I didn't even see what happened," he choked. "Swipe needed me and I was fighting somewhere else. I should have been there!" Sunstreaker stood and kicked the bench, tipping it over. "He needed me and I wasn't there! Slag those fraggin' Decepticons!"
That was all the strength Sunstreaker could muster with the stasis cuffs and he sank to the floor on his knees. Crystal gave him some space, letting him seethe and hiss out air through his vents until he calmed down.
When his rage had settled to his regular dark brooding, she ventured to approach again. She knelt next to him and carefully touched his shoulder. When Sunstreaker did not object, she leaned in closer and kissed the top of his head.
"You're a good brother."
Sunstreaker made a strangled noise of pained frustration. His face twisted in anguish and he pressed his forehead into her shoulder. Crystal's heart instantly went out to him and she put her arms around his shoulders and rested her cheek on his head.
"You did everything you could," she whispered. "He'll be okay."
The cuffed Autobot didn't say anything. His pride already hurt too much. Being cuffed on the floor in terror of losing the most important person to him was as low as he could get. In that instant, he felt like he didn't have the strength to bear it.
.
A while later, Sunstreaker was led back up to the med bay, Crystal at his side. The large gash was still there, but the leaking had stopped and it was clean. His stasis cuffs remained. Crystal didn't know how to take them off and no one else would. After what he tried to pull earlier, no one was willing to trust him as of yet.
Crystal helped him sit outside the med bay just as Ratchet poked his head out.
"Oh, you there are," he said to her. He paused to nod at Sunstreaker's current condition. "Good work. Now come with me. I need your assistance."
Crystal nodded, but turned to Sunstreaker before she left. "I'll see how Sideswipe is doing and let you know."
"Wait," Sunstreaker called. "Just stay with him and make sure he's taken care of. I'll feel better knowing he's not being manhandled like a piece of scrap."
"I'll do my best," Crystal said, though she had no idea what Sunstreaker thought she could do better than Ratchet.
Once inside the med bay, she saw evidence that Ratchet and Perceptor were overwhelmed with what the last battle had brought them.
Several Autobots were waiting in order of severity of their wounds. Crystal assumed she was going to get placed at the back of that line and work her way up fixing the smaller injuries. However, Ratchet led her up to the current focus of both medics.
Sideswipe lay on the main table, a twisted black hole where his shiny, red chest used to be. Tubes and wires snaked out of the gaping wound, maintaining his fluid and energy levels. Crystal couldn't stop staring. As bad as it was, she still couldn't equate a robotic wound compared to a human wound. To them, the damage probably looked ghastly. To her, she found it fascinating to be able to see further into their inner workings.
"What...happened to him?" she asked quietly.
"Sideswipe was apparently standing behind some kind of metal structure when Soundwave hit it with his pulse cannon at full power. The blast shattered the metal shielding, sending shrapnel tearing through his body. Plus being hit with the pulse cannon as well," Ratchet relayed.
"But he'll be okay, right?"
"We have him stable for now," Perceptor put in. "But I fear the integrity of his spark chamber has been compromised. My dear, we require the assistance of your delicate fingers."
He led her up to the side of the patient and Crystal got her first glimpse of the inside of a spark chamber. The shrapnel had stripped a corner of it away and a blue glow emanated from the gap. Perceptor manipulated what remained of Sideswipe's chest to remove the outer covering and then open the spark chamber inside. Crystal was transfixed with the glowing, blue orb revealed inside.
It hung aloft without touching the sides of the square chamber, floating under its own power. Within it swam a miniature lightning storm floating in a glowing blue ocean while it emitted a pulsing frequency that she could feel within her entire body. Crystal found herself completely mesmerized by it.
"Hey!" Ratchet clapped her on the back to snap her out of it. "Pay attention. There's shrapnel in the spark chamber. We need your small hands to remove it without damaging the spark."
Crystal peered into the chamber to see shards in the back wall while Ratchet dug through his instruments.
"Perceptor will supervise while I attend to other repairs. Try to pull them out without touching the spark."
"It's kind of like that game, Operation," Crystal said to herself and then a bit louder. "Why not just get a magnet to slide them out of there?"
Ratchet instantly looked disappointed in her.
"Unfortunately, that would be very dangerous," Perceptor explained for him. "The magnet would no doubt erase his systems, not to mention do catastrophic damage to the spark itself."
Crystal instantly felt stupid. "Oh. Yeah."
Ratchet patted her on the head. "You get good ideas, kid, but you're still thinking like a human." He put a set of tweezers in her hand. "Just do the best you can."
Crystal nodded and leaned over the body. She worked quickly, but carefully as she removed the few offending extra pieces of metal that should be in an otherwise spotless spark chamber. Perceptor watched as she was able to remove all the shards without incident.
"I think there's one in it," she then said.
"In the spark?" Perceptor wondered. He fetched a metal device that looked similar to a pen and held it over to the spark. He shifted it to the left and the spark rotated in that direction until he could see the offending piece of metal.
"It appears it only penetrated the outer layer, which is why the spark is still stable. Remove it slowly. Make sure you don't press it in any further."
Crystal leaned in and pulled out the sliver of metal embedded in the beating mass of energy. She inspected the shrapnel, noticing a wet residue from the spark.
"What is this?" she asked.
"The spark has a gel like substance surrounding it as a final form of protection. It prevents dust and smaller particles from entering the nucleus of the spark, and quite possibly saved Sideswipe's life today."
"What exactly is a spark made of, Perceptor?"
"That is still one of the great mysteries, I'm afraid. Even taking care of a damaged spark is an incomplete science. Those before us knew its secrets and knew how to create new life. Unfortunately, we are not privy to such information."
Crystal nodded as Perceptor closed what remained of Sideswipe's chest cavity.
"I believe Ratchet wishes you to stay and assist us with the other repairs."
The rest of Sideswipe's repairs would now be saved for the very last. This was how Cybertronian med bays worked. In human hospitals, those with the worst injuries would be treated first. Here, life threatening injuries were stabilized and left in stasis lock while lesser injuries were given attention. It was a matter of efficiency.
On the battlefield, one never knew when the next attack would come. The soldiers who could be repaired the fastest were attended to first to get them back on duty. Those with massive injuries were left until the last.
That was Sideswipe's current situation. He was now in a stable condition and as a robot, could be left that way for years without any extra harm done. But Crystal just couldn't find it in her to leave him that way.
"May I stay and continue working on Sideswipe? Now that the hard part is done, I know how to fix the rest. I told Sunstreaker I would look after him. It's probably the only reason he's still waiting patiently outside."
Perceptor took a moment to consider. "Very well, if that is what you wish. But I request not to do anything that will make Ratchet cross with us."
"I'll do my best. Thanks Perceptor."
Once left alone, Crystal pulled out her small personal computer and flipped through the data base of schematics. She had the personal schematic of every Autobot on the base on file. Whether that was an invasion of their personal privacy or not, she wasn't sure. But she had them all. She located Sideswipe's and then set the computer on the table, tipping the screen so she could see what the internal chest cavity of his model was supposed to look like.
The first thing was to replace the broken side of the spark chamber with another square plate of heavy duty armor. The next order of business was to repair the energy and fluid lines so Sideswipe would no longer be on extra machines with cables sticking out of his chest.
It was meticulous work and took much longer than Crystal anticipated. Once finished, she was covered in grimy fluids, but she felt a sense of accomplishment over seeing Sideswipe's body fully functioning without the aid of other life support machines. Next was to replace all the remaining damaged parts. It wasn't as painstaking, but still took up time.
Crystal knew what she was doing for the most part. It was like putting together pieces of a puzzle and each piece was designed to go into a specific spot and work a certain way. Whenever she wasn't sure, she would return to her handheld and research until she found the information she needed. Twelve hours later, Sideswipe was mostly whole. All he needed was a new chest plate and a paint job.
Ratchet poked his head into her work corner to see how it was going and found Crystal sleeping with her head on the exposed chest. The medical officer quickly inspected the work and then left the med bay. Tracks and Sunstreaker were still camped outside. The former was reading something on a data pad while the latter had drifted into mild recharge. His head was on Tracks' shoulder with his mouth hanging open.
Ratchet cleared his throat. "Well isn't that cute."
Sunstreaker stirred irritably at the voice while Ratchet reached behind him to finally disengage the stasis cuffs.
"You can go see him."
Sunstreaker was instantly on his feet and rushed into the med bay. Upon finding his brother, he quickly inspected the open chest cavity. Everything looked replaced. He pushed a few buttons on Sideswipe's consul, starting up his main systems. Slowly, the engines whirred to life and eventually, his optics flickered on. He waited a few more moments for his memory and backup systems to boot before coming to life.
The first thing Sideswipe saw was his brother standing over him.
"Streak?"
His brother smiled. "Hey Swipe, welcome back."
Sideswipe looked confused. "My internal clock says I've only been offline for twelve hours."
"Yup. You got yourself some special medical attention." Sunstreaker clapped the sleeping Crystal on the shoulder and she stirred. Sitting up, she noticed Sideswipe was now online.
"Oh, you're awake. How do you feel?"
Sideswipe did not look happy as he sat up on his elbows. "You worked on me?"
She stood up and stretched her back. "Ratchet and Perceptor were too busy with everyone else."
Sideswipe lay back down, looking darkly at the ceiling. "I wish you didn't."
"Hey!" Sunstreaker shot, cuffing his brother on the side of his head. "She saved your life!"
"Well, not technically, I didn't save it. That was Ratchet, I just—"
"It don't matter! How about some gratitude, glitch head?"
Sideswipe rolled his head away from them. "Sorry," he said softly. "Thank you."
"Sideswipe, that's not—"
"You're welcome," Crystal cut him off. "Now excuse me, I need to go clean up."
As she left, she heard Sunstreaker mumble something to his brother but she couldn't hear what it was. She nodded to Ratchet on the way out. He would no doubt check her work and then finish the job. Crystal just wanted to get clean. She was covered in grease, lubricant, oil, energon, and who knew what else. Even with metal skin, it felt gross and she wanted nothing else but to get it off.
The wash rooms were empty as normal. They weren't often used unless one had gotten particularly filthy from being outside in the mud or something similar. Every day walking around didn't require much upkeep. So the washrooms didn't see as much traffic as a human shower room would.
Reaching the nearest shower head, she turned it on and stood blissfully under the running liquid. It wasn't quite water. It was processed with chemicals added to help cut the oil and grease that came with a metal body. Crystal still wasn't sure exactly what it was made of, but it certainly did the trick. All the grime washed off easily and her joints felt clean again. It was nice to know she could tell the difference between clean and dirty in this body.
In the middle of her shower, Crystal suddenly had the feeling she wasn't alone. She looked around and saw Tracks standing in the doorway, watching her. Crystal frowned. The two of them were not on very good terms. They had experienced a rough first impression which had been only one of many awkward confrontations.
"Are you perving on me in the shower?" Crystal demanded.
"I'm not perving!" Tracks insisted, instantly offended and angry. "You flatter yourself if you think you have anything I want to see!"
"You're the one looking."
Tracks huffed at her. "Fine, I was going to thank you for helping Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, but I do believe I've changed my mind."
Crystal went back to scrubbing herself. "Like I care. I certainly didn't do it for your approval."
When she looked his way, the Autobot was gone.
.
For a day, everything went on as usual. Everyone was repaired and then released from the med bay. This included Sideswipe, who was given a clean bill of health from Ratchet after a thorough inspection and then sent on his way. To which he was doing right now, minding his own business, until he turned a corner and right in front of him was a smaller, pink female body.
"Ah HA!" Crystal announced, pointing at him.
Sideswipe immediately panicked, turned and bolted back the way he came.
This time, however, Crystal was right behind him.
"Hey! Get back here!"
This only caused Sideswipe to run faster as he raced through the Ark's entrance and into the snow. He was about to transform, but that voice called behind him.
"Wait! Wait! Damnit, wait!"
Somehow, the command froze his body and Sideswipe looked behind him, his optics wide. She charged toward him, not looking too happy.
"What's your deal? Why do you keep running away from me? Do you really hate me that much?" Crystal demanded. "Is it because I'm human?"
A pained expression filled his face and Sideswipe looked away. "No, it's not like that," he insisted quietly.
Crystal walked around so she could face him. "Then what is it?" Her voice dropped a bit. "I just want you to be honest with me. If I did or said something to you, you can tell me."
The red Autobot looked helpless. "That's not what it is. You didn't do anything, I swear."
"Then what?" She could hardly hide the exasperation in her voice. "What's going on?"
Sideswipe looked down at his feet. His body wobbled a bit. Crystal wasn't sure, but he almost looked ill to her.
"I...I can't..."
"Look you," Crystal jabbed a finger in his chest. "I just put you together piece by piece. I think you owe me this."
The scared expression on Sideswipe's face told that deep down, he agreed. He opened his mouth to speak to her, but nothing would come out.
"Rocky...Rocky Mountains..." he finally managed to rasp. "Four years and one week ago. I...I was racing up a mountain pass. I wasn't paying attention...but then I saw the car sliding..."
Crystal narrowed her optics at him. "What are you talking about?"
"I was there. I'm sorry."
Unbidden, a memory came to Crystal's processor. If she had been human, she would have never recalled it. But as a robot, with every bit of data recorded in her mind as clear as the day it happened, it came with startling realization. At her parents funeral, everyone had gathered around the grave site as the two bodies were lowered to their final resting place. Crystal had been too consumed by grief to care, but she recalled a certain murmur that had gone through the crowd during that somber occasion.
The complaint was caused a cherry red lamborghini that kept circling the cemetery. A very inappropriate car for such an occasion and to add insult, the driver would never stop and get out. Crystal just stared at Sideswipe.
"That...was you. Why didn't you ever say anything to me?" Her voice suddenly rose as anger hit her. "I have lived here for three freaking months! Why didn't you SAY anything to me?!"
Then, she was screaming at him. The words just blurred with her emotions and she couldn't control them. She couldn't get herself to calm down. The way Sideswipe took it all without any complaint or explanation just made her more furious. She was shaking with no outlet to expel her frustration. Without thinking, she shoved him in the chest. Sideswipe fell backwards into the snow, staring at her in disbelief.
Crystal stared back at him, surprised at herself. Then she turned and ran. Instead of heading back for the sanctuary of the Ark, she raced for the forest behind the volcano as fast as her legs could carry her. She didn't care how many times she tripped in the snow, she had to get out of there. It was the farthest away from the Ark she had ever gone in her robot state and once she hit the tree line, she didn't stop. She crashed right through it and kept going as far as she could.
Back at the base, the screaming had earned a bit of attention. Curious heads popped out to witness the scene.
"What the slag was that?" Sunstreaker demanded as he approached his stunned brother sitting in the snow.
Sideswipe recovered from his shock and suddenly looked ill. He moaned as he rolled over on his side.
"Bro...I don't feel well..."
"Oh come on, Sideswipe! Stop with that alread—"
Sideswipe's body suddenly heaved and he purged a rancid, green liquid from his mouth that hissed in the snow.
"Primus," Sunstreaker exclaimed as he jumped back. The last thing he wanted was for that nasty stuff to get on his paint job. "You really are sick. Hold on, I'll go get Ratchet."
.
An hour later, Sideswipe lay in stasis in the med bay, all his systems turned off. Ratchet had opened him up from vocalizer to energy tank to inspect the damage. It took him a while to confirm it wasn't the fault of any contagious virus before he let Sunstreaker or anyone else in to see his patient. Optimus Prime was with him when the yellow Autobot was finally admitted in.
"So, what happened?" Sunstreaker asked both Perceptor and Ratchet as he inspected Sideswipe's body. "What's he got?"
"Technically, he doesn't have anything," Perceptor explained. "This isn't any type of bug or virus. What happened to Sideswipe here is very uncommon, but not unheard of."
"Well, what is it?" Sunstreaker demanded. "What did this to him? Give me some answers!"
Optimus Prime put a hand on his shoulder as a warning to calm down. Sunstreaker backed up a bit, but still didn't look happy.
"Basically, he did it to himself," Ratchet replied.
"It's really quite fascinating," Perceptor cut in. "You see, there's no scientific evidence to support it and—"
Ratchet shook his head at him and Perceptor quickly shut up. Now was not the time.
"He stressed himself out," Ratchet finished. "Sometimes when a bot is under long term emotional duress, their systems start to feel the pressure and react. In Sideswipe's case, his stress was causing his systems to produce too much battery acid. It was slowly eating everything from the inside. Which is why I couldn't tell why Sideswipe was sick. It was happening internally. Something like that is near untraceable until systems start failing or he coughs something up."
"But the situation is repairable, correct?" Optimus asked.
"Yeah," Ratchet sighed. "It's going to be quite a job. I'll have to replace every part the acid has eaten through, but I can put him back together again. Unfortunately, doing that won't fix the original source of the problem. Sideswipe needs to cut down on the emotional stress or he's going to have the same thing happen again."
At this point, Red Alert entered the med bay and approached his leader.
"Our little runaway is completely off the grid. Without a tracking signal or spark signature, none of my equipment can find her. Even Sky Spy satellite can't find her. The forest is too thick."
"It will be tough to arrange a search party," Optimus said. "Too many Autobots would do more harm than good to the habitat."
"May I suggest giving her some time to come back on her own?" Perceptor offered. "She strikes me as a pragmatic individual. Perhaps she merely requires solitude for a while. The Ark is, after all, the only home she has."
"That may be," Optimus agreed. "But it doesn't sit well with me that she is out there all by herself."
"Me Grimlock help," announced the large figure in the doorway. "Me send Swoop to forest to watch. Swoop find. Make sure she come back okay."
"Alright. We'll do that for now and see how it goes. Everyone keep me posted."
.
Thirty-six hours later, Omega Supreme landed in front of the Ark, effectively melting all snow in the wake of his thrusters. A small cluster of Autobots exited to greet them and Wheeljack instantly put them to work unloading all the equipment he had convinced Prowl to let him take back.
Optimus Prime had wisely avoided the manual labor to greet the returning Autobots instead.
"How did you enjoy your vacation on Cybertron, Mirage?" he asked as the blue Autobot came down the ramp.
Mirage gave him a thankful, yet sad smile. "It was very nice to see it again. Though it will never be the same as I remember it, I'm afraid."
"Maybe one day," Optimus clapped him on the shoulder.
"Though I did have fun," Mirage added. "I even got to help Prowl strengthen a few political ties with a neighboring race. That was kind of fun."
Optimus looked over to Prowl who was going over his roster. "Oh?"
"I will send you the full report momentarily," Prowl replied, not looking up from his list. After a while, he raised his head and looked around expectantly. It was obvious by his face that Smokescreen's approach was not what he had been searching for. But the blue Autobot grinned at him anyway.
"Heya, Prowl. Glad you had a safe trip."
Prowl returned his smirk with a frown. "Where's Bluestreak?" The gray Datsun was always there to greet or send Prowl off if he was able. Prowl's question was a valid one.
Smokescreen shrugged as Prowl scanned the entrance of the Ark a few meters away. "I dunno. He's been sulking around for the last week saying he broke a promise. Now he's been hiding ever since Omega showed up on radar."
Prowl shot a sharp look at him. "What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything."
The second in command didn't look convinced and started towards the base.
"I'm telling you the truth," Smokescreen followed after him, irritated. "I didn't do anything! Why don't you ever believe me?"
Optimus and Jazz watched the two Datsuns leave.
"Here we go," Optimus said.
"Hey, you're the one who asked for his transfer," Jazz responded, holding his hands up.
"I did," he admitted. "At least things won't be dull around here."
"For sure. So where have you been keeping Crys? Does she know we're back?"
His leader's shoulders visibly slumped. "About that..."
.
Once in the base, Prowl activated his tracking system to zero in on Bluestreak's location. He found him hiding behind one of the recharge berths looking guilty.
"Bluestreak, what happened?" Prowl asked.
The gray Datsun looked extremely unhappy and silently pulled his knees up to his chest.
Prowl looked back to glare at Smokescreen..
"I told you, I didn't do anything!"
Prowl knelt down to Bluestreak and spoke softly. "Blue, where is she?"
Bluestreak wouldn't look at him.
"Oh her?" Smokescreen wondered as he picked at a finger joint. "She took off yesterday and we haven't seen her since."
Prowl jumped to his feet, his door panels erect and twitching in agitation. "What?!"
.
Fleeing into the forest was as far as her plan went. She didn't know what she would do after that and she didn't care. All she wanted was to get as far away from that place and all those robots. Even as she continued to stumble in the loose snow and the bare branches snapped in her wake and scratched at her thin armor, she didn't stop. Her body couldn't get physically tired anymore, she could run for a very long time. And run she did.
Further and deeper into the forest she went, far away from civilization. She ran until the initial panic wore off and then she walked, still moving away from everything, from the only place she could call home. Confusion filled her. Why had she reacted that way? It had come out of nowhere. But she could not bring herself to turn around and go back, not yet.
The sun began to set, but Crystal didn't worry much about it. It was an odd feeling to put away such human worries as sleep and food and shelter out here in the wilderness. She didn't get cold. She didn't need to rest or eat. She didn't have to worry about predators and she could see in the dark. It was a runaway child's fantasy come true.
That thought made Crystal pause. Was she acting like a child, running away from her problems? What exactly was she running away from in the first place? One of those Autobots had been there during her parents' last hours. He could give her information. He could tell her what happened.
That Autobot—Sideswipe—was she blaming him for what happened? No, that wasn't it, though she wanted to. Was she angry he had never told her before? Of course she was. She was furious about that. But her anger wasn't what made her retreat in a panic. It was something else. That one thing that kept haunting her time and time again. Coincidence.
It was her mother who was to blame for putting it in her head. She always insisted that everything not only in the world, but in the universe, was connected. Everything everywhere happened for a reason. And while Crystal would nod and allow her mother to believe what she wanted without argument, Crystal never believed it herself. There was too much going on for all of it to happen for a reason.
Yet, time and time again, life molded strangely around her like something knew where she was and what she was planning. Like it had plans for her. And Crystal didn't like it one bit. To come into such intimate contact with these alien life forms out of the blue was bad enough, but it learn they had already been playing a part in her life long before she knew them was hard to take.
Suddenly, all their kind felt too close. Like they were smothering her and dragging her into their world. Everything that used to be her was going to get locked away and left behind. She had to get out of there. She couldn't stand their fate and hers intertwining any longer. There had to be a way to break free.
Now she was far away and alone for the first time in almost three months. The solitude was refreshing, cleansing. It felt good to have nothing but herself around her. For the first time since she had changed, she felt she was finally allowed to delve within herself and see what was there. The Ark was too busy and too full of that which was so different, she could hardly think. Crystal had no desire to go back to it anytime soon.
There was a woosh as something large flew overhead and, despite its impressive wingspan, it managed to navigate through the trees toward her. It slowed abruptly before running into her and transformed, landing in robot mode.
Crystal looked at him in annoyance. "What do you want?"
"Grimlock send me Swoop to find."
"I'm found, now go back."
The Dinobot cocked his head at her. "Me Swoop think...that not what him Grimlock mean."
"Not my problem," Crystal said as she turned to go. "I'm not ready to go back yet so tell them that."
She walked away and was very unhappy to hear heavy footsteps and cracking branches behind her. She spun around, optics flashing.
"Stop following me! Go back to the base!"
The Dinobot back stepped, but showed no signs of leaving. That did not help Crystal's temper.
"Swoop, I'm serious. Go away!"
He glanced back in the direction he had come, looking worried.
"But...me Swoop..."
"I DON'T CARE! I want you to leave me alone! Go away, you stupid robot!" She was very tempted to pick up something and throw it at him. Not that anything she could throw would hurt him. But she fought the urge and, instead, started off again faster, breaking into a run.
"Don't follow me, I mean it!" she barked into the woods.
Once again, she ran as fast as she could, stumbling and scrambling to get further away. At one instance, she tripped and her face fell into a dead tree, cutting into the metal plating. Her fingers instantly went to the cut. Nothing leaked out. It wasn't deep enough to break any wiring beneath it. So she got to her feet and took off again. After a while, she dared to look back and didn't see the Dinobot anywhere behind her. Gazing through the tree tops, she couldn't find any evidence that Swoop's massive form was hovering above her either. This slowed her pace, but she still kept going.
At this point, she had no idea how far she was from the Ark or any point of civilization, but it still didn't feel far enough, and that in and of itself was confusing. The fact that she had to get away not only from the Autobots, but from all humanity to feel herself was a bit disconcerting. Also the fact that she realized that in all this time, she had never interacted with a human, those she used to be like. What would have happened if she did? Would it make a difference or would it break that fragile thread she had only just recently been aware of.
Once realizing this, Crystal stopped walking. She stood and looked all around her. It was dark now, but she could see the trees surrounding her in every direction. The snow started falling, fat, full snow flakes. On some parts of her body, it melted instantly and other parts it stayed. She stood there stupidly, letting the snow fall on her. The urge to run was finally gone. But there was still no urge to return. There was only silence, trees, and snow.
Without the will to do anything further, Crystal sat heavily in the snow and leaned herself against a pile of boulders. She could stay out here for days if she wanted to. That sounded like a grand thing to do at the time. Just sit in the wilderness and enjoy the quiet and think. Emotionally fatigued, her optics started to flicker out and she slowly slipped into sleep mode. The snow continued to fall on top of her exposed body and she didn't care.
.
Crystal awoke to something yellow with giant eyes staring at her. She balked and scrambled away, disturbing the snow that had drifted up around her. She could feel her fuel pump jump into action at her sudden movements as she stared at Swoop's dinosaur mode.
"You again," she said. This time, it was without accusation.
"Swoop watch Crystal because Swoop want to. Make sure you safe. Can yell at Swoop all you want. Swoop stay."
Crystal's face instantly went from slightly annoyed to defeated. She sighed as she leaned against her pile of boulders.
"I suppose it can't be helped then."
The Dinobot flickered his optics at her. "Crystal not angry at Swoop no more?"
"I guess not."
Swoop made a happy noise and folded his wings, laying his massive head in her lap. Crystal was surprised at first, but then accepted it, scratching his neck behind the crest. Swoop made a bird like noise deep in his throat. Having Dinobots was like having pets sometimes.
Crystal looked up when she heard a noise from the sky. It sounded like some sort of air craft. It came closer until it was hovering right over her, making the tree tops shutter and shake. The white shuttle was hard to make out against the gray sky. A rope was released from the craft and two figures slid out of the cargo hold to the ground. Crystal pushed Swoop off her and stood up as the new arrivals landed in the snow.
"There is nowhere for me to land here," Skyfire radioed to them. "But I see a clearing due West. I'll meet you there."
"Roger that," Prowl responded. "We'll be there shortly."
Crystal looked at them, her hands on her hips. "So, you found me."
Jazz nodded. "Yup. Thanks to Swoop, we zeroed right in on your position."
Crystal glared at the Dinobot who shrank under it.
"Me Swoop go back now," he said quickly and took off into the sky.
Jazz watched him go and then turned to Crystal, extending a hand to her. "You ready to go back to base now?"
"No."
Both Autobots looked surprised.
"No?" Prowl repeated.
"No," she confirmed. "I left because I needed to and I will come back when I am ready."
Prowl and Jazz looked at each other.
"But...we are worried about you being out here by yourself," Prowl reasoned.
"What for?" she asked, tapping her chest plate. "I'm made of metal, I can be out here for days. This environment can't hurt me."
Prowl couldn't argue with that logic and was starting to look a bit helpless. Jazz, however, pressed his mouth in a stubborn line and started towards her.
"What?" Crystal demanded, backing away from him.
"What do you mean what? I haven't seen you in three weeks. Come. Here."
Reluctantly, Crystal approached and Jazz pulled her into his arms the moment she was close enough.
"You make me feel bad that you didn't miss me," he informed her.
Her tough shell seemed to soften at those words. "I did miss you," she said softly.
Jazz smiled as he pulled back to look her in the face. He grazed his thumb over the scratch that ran down her cheek. "Do you want to tell me about what happened?"
Her voice went flat again. "No."
Jazz looked skyward as if asking whatever powers he believed in to help him. "Primus, you're so stubborn."
Prowl put a heavy hand on her shoulder. "Come back with us." The tone of his voice stated this wasn't a mere request. "When everyone sees you are fine, they will stop worrying and then you can go back to the woods if you wish—closer to the base."
Crystal looked at him, obviously not agreeing with that plan. But Prowl's expression was firm. He was obviously a bot who didn't hear the word no very often. He gave her the impression that if she didn't do it, he would make her do it.
"Fine," she relented and started off in the direction Skyfire went without waiting for them. She climbed into the waiting jet and sat down, folding her arms to express she wasn't happy. Jazz ignored her attitude and waved a square device in her face.
"What is this?" she wondered as she took it. She pushed the red button on the device and a picture flashed on the screen. Without any way to make a paper-type substance, this was what Cybertronians used for photographs. It was an image of Prowl looking tenderly down at a bundle in his arms.
"I told you I'd bring you back something pretty," Jazz grinned.
A smile began to form on Crystal's face. "Prowl, you are so cute."
His mouth set in a firm line and he looked away at the compliment.
"And check out this one," Jazz continued as he swiped to reveal the group picture he took. "This is right after our big mission saving the prince of a neighboring planet."
Crystal definitely couldn't let that one go. Intrigued, she demanded to hear the whole story. Jazz eagerly enjoyed having all her attention on him while he relayed it with much enthusiasm and a bit, Prowl noted, embellishment.
When Skyfire landed at the base, Crystal seemed to be in brighter spirits. When she exited, there were more than a few relieved faces though plenty wouldn't say anything about it out loud. One of the first Autobots she saw was Wheeljack and she hugged him with a small squeal.
Jazz watched on jealously. That was the type of greeting he expected to get when he got home.
"Wheeljack! Did you bring me stuff? For my new body?" she asked, optics bright.
Wheeljack mirrored her enthusiasm, eager to share what he found on Cybertron, whether it benefited her or not.
"Let's go to my workshop and I'll show you!"
.
Fun time with Wheeljack was short lived when Ratchet and Perceptor got a hold of her and dragged her back into the med bay for inspection. Ratchet got to work cleaning out all the forest debris from her joints and frowning at the scratch on her face. Perceptor wanted to take a processor scan to which Crystal indulged him.
"Is this the first large outburst you've had since you've been in this body?" Perceptor wondered as he looked at the results of his scan.
Crystal felt a bit embarrassed at the question though the scientist hardly seemed interested in the cause of her original distress, only the affect it had on her processor.
"I really don't think of myself as an emotional person," she admitted. "It's not like me to get bent of out shape that often."
Perceptor actually looked disappointed. He wanted to test her against emotional stress to see if there were any long term affects. She didn't seem to be a very helpful subject.
"Ratchet," Red Alert called as he walked purposefully into the med bay. "Make sure she gets a homing signal installed while you're working on her."
"Oh, thanks for asking me if I want one," Crystal shot at him.
Red Alert was surprised at the accusation. "But everyone has one. It's how we can locate you."
"So you can know my exact position at any given time?"
"Exactly."
"Yeah, no thanks."
"What do you mean?" Red Alert began to get a little twitchy like he was the first time she met him. "It's for your safety."
Crystal stubbornly folded her arms. "It's also an invasion of my privacy. It's not your business where I am all the time."
"But—" Red Alert choked. "But, but but but..."
"I said I don't want it. You can't make me get one," Crystal insisted. "I will, however, finish installing my radio so anyone can contact me if they just can't live without knowing where I am."
"I do not appreciate your sarcasm," Red Alert informed her. "I'm trying to do my job."
"And you're doing a very good job," Crystal insisted as she hopped off the table. "I'll tell you what, when they start sending me off on military missions, you can put a homing device on me."
She kissed the top of his head before any further argument could be made and walked out the door. Red Alert stood there, moving his mouth, trying to make some kind of remark.
"Don't worry about it Red," Ratchet said as he turned to organize his tools. "That's how she gets in the last word with all of us."
.
After visiting the energon dispenser, Crystal decide to retire to her room, passing the surveillance room as she went.
"Hey, where you going?" A voice called.
She paused in the doorway and peered inside. Jazz stood there, overseeing all the operations while Mirage sat at one consul and Smokescreen was stationed in the back at another.
"I'm tired. I'm going to my room for the night," Crystal told him.
"And?" Jazz demanded.
Crystal looked at him blankly.
Jazz tapped his foot. "Where's my 'Good night Jazz, I love you'?"
She smiled and walked up to him, throwing her arms around him in a less than serious fashion and kissing the side of his helmet. "Good night Jazz, I love you."
"That's better," he grinned. "Only a few weeks apart and you forget, huh?"
"Never," she promised. "Just got thrown off my routine." Then she went over and hugged Mirage around the neck from behind his chair. "Night Mirage. It's good to have you back."
He patted her arm. "Good night."
She righted herself and noticed Smokescreen in the back looking at her expectantly. She gave him a less than affectionate look. That was for locking her in that horrible room. She didn't care who he was related to, she thought he was a jerk. He seemed more amused than offended, however, when she turned her back on him and walked away.
Almost out the door, she nearly ran into Prowl who was coming in. She stopped herself as he grabbed her arm to prevent them from colliding.
"Oh, good night Prowl, love you." She kissed the side of his face right below the optic.
Prowl's arm started to move around her shoulders but paused when he saw Smokescreen and let them both drop at his side.
"Have a good night." He nodded and she went on her way.
Prowl had time for one cold look in Smokescreen's bemused direction before moving off as well.
.
Once finally alone in her room, Crystal lay on her small cot, arms folded behind her head. She no longer wanted to run from the base. It was actually nice to be back. Though she didn't know if it was because certain Autobots were now home or if whatever caused her emotional frenzy was now over. She still wasn't sure how to feel about all of it. Maybe Perceptor was looking for the right problem. Maybe it was in her programming and not in her emotions. Who was to say?
There was a knock at the door, which was unusual for this time of night. Though Crystal didn't sleep every night, when she retired to bed, no one bothered her until she came out again. She had a curious look on her face when she answered the door. There was Sunstreaker pressed against the wall, just barely peeking in. He started right in before she could ask him what he was doing there.
"Listen, uh, I just wanna say I'm sorry for when I got after you earlier. I was acting like a real..."
"Asshole?" Crystal finished for him.
"Yeah."
She smiled. "So are you my Sunshine again, or shall we call you Asshole from now on?"
If Sunstreaker had the ability, she decided, he would have flushed a bit.
"The first one," he mumbled, looking down.
"Good," she nodded. "Anything else?"
He looked back up at her, his expression confident again.
"Yeah." He swing his whole body into the doorway and Crystal had to step back as Sideswipe was flung into the room. The red Autobot looked like he wanted to bolt, but Sunstreaker stood menacingly in the doorway, blocking his escape.
"I'm tired of doing this dance. We need to fix this right now." He shut the door behind him to further prove that no one was going to leave until it was settled.
Crystal had retreated to the back wall when Sideswipe was thrown in. The same anger as before flashed on her features when she saw him. Then confusion began to take over at her initial response. She didn't know how to react. All she did know was that she didn't want to stay here with him.
But Sunstreaker was not allowing anyone to leave. When she saw there was no getting out, Crystal sat down tentatively on the edge of her cot. The look on her face made Sunstreaker want to sit with her, but then it would look like it was them against his brother and that wasn't the case. Sunstreaker was here for both of them so he stayed by the door.
"Well?" he demanded. "Start talking. You two need to get this figured out or I'm going to go nuts."
Sideswipe looked guiltily to the ground. Crystal opened her mouth, but nothing came out for a while.
"I... don't know what to say," she said softly. "How long did you know?"
Sideswipe fiddled with his hands. "When...they began to rebuild you, I found out. I didn't know it was you until then."
"But why didn't you ever come find me and say anything then?" Crystal pressed. "I remember seeing you at the funeral. Why didn't you try to contact me?"
Sideswipe hunched further and looked away.
"Can you tell me what happened? Up there on the mountain that day?"
Sideswipe's face shot up to meet hers, his expression one of horror. Sunstreaker saw that expression and something in his gut flip-flopped. Sideswipe didn't...kill them, did he?
Crystal already seemed to know the answer.
"You didn't cause the accident, did you?" It sounded more like a statement than a question.
Sideswipe finally looked at her, regret clear on his face.
"I saw the car swerve and hit the tree as I was coming around the bend. I was too far away to be able to stop it from happening. I ran over to see if there was something I could do to help but..." He looked away to the ground. "Your father was already... he was killed instantly. Your mother—my scanners said there was a chance she would survive her injuries. I radioed 911 as I tried to help her..." Sideswipe paused despite himself as the memory ran over him. He would never forget it.
The snow was still falling heavily as Sideswipe ran to the vehicle. The car was crushed against a thick tree, the driver's side mangled beyond recognition. A quick scan of vital systems showed him the driver was already offline. But the passenger was still alive. Sideswipe scrambled over and tore off the passenger door.
"Hang in there, okay? I've called for an ambulance."
The woman in the passenger seat didn't move. Blood dribbled down the side of her face. His scanners said she had internal trauma from the crash. She stirred when the cold air hit her.
Sideswipe felt relieved that she was moving, but he had no knowledge of human first aid. No one else was on the road to help.
"It will be okay, just don't move. Help is coming."
At the sound of his voice, the woman looked up. Often times, the first glance of an Autobot resulted in surprise or fear, despite the fact they were well known world wide by now. It still wasn't the same as seeing one in person for the first time. However, this human woman looked thankful to see him and smiled weakly in his direction. Then she turned her head to her companion and saw clearly that he was no longer with her.
"I'm so sorry," Sideswipe said quietly as he lay down as close to the car as he could. "Please, tell me what I can do for you. How can I help you?"
The woman turned back to him, a sad smile on her face. "There is something very important you can do for me. I need you to find someone, my daughter, after I'm gone."
"Woah! Wait, wait!" Sideswipe objected. "Don't talk like that! You're going to be fine. Help is coming. You'll be okay. They'll save you."
The woman looked over at her deceased partner. Her husband. The one that had taken the brunt of the impact for her. It was no coincidence he had steered himself into the tree first. Then she looked back at Sideswipe.
"I'm not going anywhere. This is where I belong. I must go and be with him. I need you to find my daughter and let her know that what happened here was not a bad thing. Everything happens for a reason. Her father and I, we will be okay. My name is Libby Carlyle. My daughter's name is Crystal."
"No, I'm sorry. I am not telling some kid I watched their parents die," Sideswipe insisted. "You better live through this, human, because I'm not going to be your messenger."
She just gave him a tired yet secretive smile and shook her head. "You don't have a choice." Her voice was weaker now, as if she were willing her own body to start slowing down. "We are all connected now. Fate brought this together. Now, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to avoid it, your paths will cross. It's not up to you, you will have to see her sometime."
Sideswipe jumped back as if he received an electric shock. His fuel pump was racing. For a being whose culture had no sense of time or limited life spans, they knew nothing of destiny, of a person's ultimate purpose. There was no ultimate purpose. To be told to his face that there were now powers out there beyond his control. That something had taken a hold of him and was pulling him forward despite himself, it was a horrifying thing for someone like him to hear.
Only a few seconds and he managed to gather himself and crawl back to the vehicle. The spark of life in the woman had already faded away, a peaceful look on her face and her hand clasping the hand of the man she loved. Both of them were dead.
Crystal listened to the story silently, her head down. Her face was unreadable, as if on the verge of emotion, but unsure of which one to feel.
"I'm sorry it took me this long to tell you this," Sideswipe said. "At first, I had tried to contact you a few times, but I could never do it."
"Why?" Crystal asked softly. "Why wouldn't you come talk to me?"
Sideswipe jerked his head away. "I don't know. I guess... I just couldn't stand the thought of telling someone one of their creators chose not to come back home to them."
Crystal nodded blankly. It had been a mystery that had haunted her. She had been told her mother's injuries had not been fatal, but she had passed on before the paramedics got there and no one could tell her exactly what she died from. Her mother had made a conscious decision to not be left behind by the man she loved more than anything in the world. Even more than her own child...maybe. That was her mother. She did a lot of things in her life that Crystal didn't understand. Her and her crazy ideology about fate and destiny. Crystal had stopped trying when she was a teenager to understand what went through her mother's mind.
"Also," Sideswipe added in a small voice. "Maybe I was afraid of what would happen. That..." He paused before the word "human" came out. That was not an appropriate term at the moment. "...woman told me I had no choice, that I would have to tell you whether I wanted to or not. I guess I thought if I told you, I would get pulled into something else. That after it started, it wouldn't stop. And I didn't want some...dead human dictating what I did." Frustration was clear in his voice at the end.
Crystal wasn't sure what to say to that, neither was Sunstreaker. However, Sideswipe wasn't done.
"And then you showed up anyway." He was looking her in the face now. "And when I knew it was you I thought...maybe..." His gaze jumped around the room, unable to stay on her face. "I thought maybe it was my fault that you are here. Because I didn't talk to you then. Some...power forced you to come to me." He paused as the agitation and frustration began to build once more.
"What does that even mean? Why did all this happen! I don't understand it at all! I don't get why that human freaked me out so much, but I can't get it out of my head. And now there's not a thing that happens where I don't wonder if it's pulling me forward. Like the Decepticons scrapping me. Then you coming to fix me. It all led to this conversation."
Sideswipe looked at Crystal again, and this time his stare stuck on her.
"I am so sorry for what happened and for not coming to you sooner, but you have got to explain to me what the slag is going on. I don't think I can take much more of this."
Crystal fought the urge to look at the ceiling. If anyone could play mind games with a giant alien robot, even from the grave, it would be her mother. After all, the woman had years and years of practice on her own family. She had a very strong belief system in higher powers that led the course of one's life and she had an eerie way of expressing it. It was as if she could see the path and she knew beyond a doubt which things in life one had no control over. Maybe she could see it.
For Crystal, it was bad enough to hear it all the time growing up. But for one of these alien beings to get a full shot of her mother without warning, she couldn't even imagine. Jazz had told her once that fate and destiny seemed irrelevant to their kind. Optimus Prime said they weren't used to change. It happened very, very slowly on their planet. Maybe they did have a form of destiny there, but to have so many drastic changes in a matter of months, even years, for Sideswipe, it must have felt like he had been grabbed by the foot and was dragged kicking and screaming the whole way.
"You're reading too much into it," Crystal said as she stood up. Though she understood, she didn't have much sympathy for Sideswipe. "None of this would have happened any differently no matter if she had said anything to you or not. Stop dwelling on it so much and just go on living life as normal." She paused and added, "It's all any of us can do, really. No sense spending all our time wondering if something is forcing us into it."
"I agree," Sunstreaker stated. It was the first thing he said in a while. "You've been letting this thing spook you for too long. Get over it and get off the floor." He clapped Sideswipe on the shoulder. "My sensitive little brother..."
Sideswipe said nothing under Sunstreaker's scrutinizing gaze.
"Okay you two," the yellow Autobot then announced. "Hug and make up so I don't have to put up with this crap anymore."
Sideswipe and Crystal looked at each other. Neither looked too willing. But Crystal did put a hand on his arm.
"Don't worry about it. What's done is done. And believe me, I've learned it doesn't help anyone to worry about things you can't control. Just...do want you can, okay?"
Inside, Crystal died a bit as she said that. It didn't seem fair. She was the one who was just told her mother chose not to live and come home that night, and she was the one comforting the overreacting giant robot. No, it wasn't fair at all.
"Yeah, okay. I'm sorry," Sideswipe said again.
"That's fine," Crystal responded. Her voice was a bit flatter than she would have hoped for. "Now get out of my room."
The brothers stared at her for a while and then decided she was serious. With muttered good-byes they vacated the area and shut the door behind them.
Crystal plopped on her cot with a deep sigh when she was finally alone. She had to admit, it had been a frustrating couple of days and she had not planned for it. It was even more frustrating to know that she could not quit this lifestyle and move on to something else. This was her life. Forever. For longer than any human ever lived she would be like this. In that moment, she couldn't help it. The thought of it made her sick.
Close File #010 Sick: Sideswipe
