Author's Notes: Most of you probably will catch on or not even notice, but the few of you who may get confused, the last chapter and this one kind of overlap each other. Broken happens the end of January/beginning of February and then skips to March. This one goes back to February.

The Autobot Files

File #012 - Mismatched

It was out of town. The ritzy part of out of town where large mansions built with a lot of money and little practicality scattered over the beautiful mountainside. The largest of them all sat on top and owned the area for several miles. The house was enormous. It appeared more like a convention center than a home. It had tall doors and large, open spaces. It seemed to be built for a human 12 feet tall. Or a 12 foot tall robot.

Within, as strange as it was, there was actually such a thing within the house. Currently, said robot was lounging in a massive living room with high ceilings. The extremely large bean bag-type chair made especially for him accommodated his build quite nicely and several roaring fire places helped to keep the spacious room toasty during the winter.

Curled up on the robot's chest was a woman with rusty brown curls and a shapely figure. She sighed in contentment against the warm, metal body while the red Autobot himself just sat there.

"This is nice, isn't it, Powerglide?" Astoria said happily.

"Yeah, sure," came a slightly flat response. "It's okay, I guess."

Astoria sat up. "Okay? You guess? Well aren't you just the sweet talker today."

"Hey! I'm here, aren't I?" the red Autobot demanded. "I came on your stupid Earth...love holiday thing like you wanted. I mean, like you demanded to my commanding officer. Thanks a lot."

"I got you the day off! Why are you complaining? I'm soooo sorry I gave you some time to sit and relax. My bad!"

"You need to stop poking your nose in my business, woman! I could have gotten it off myself. I don't need your help to do every little thing."

Astoria put her hands on her hips. "I don't have to take this kind of crap. I was married once, you know."

Powerglide could have sat up himself and toppled her right off him, but he didn't.

"Yeah, I know. You've only told me about a dozen times."

When Powerglide met Astoria Carlton-Ritz, she had still been quite young. They had driven each other nuts then and it really hadn't changed all that much. Astoria was about thirty now. Powerglide wasn't really sure what that meant. He always had trouble getting the hang of Earth time. As near as he could tell, it still wasn't even half of a human's expected life span. But someone had told him humans started calming down around this time.

Apparently, Astoria hadn't gotten the memo. She was still as active and fiery as ever. And she had been married to...some human guy at one point. Astoria always tried to explain to Powerglide who he was and what their relationship was like and why it was over now. But Powerglide usually tuned it out. He didn't much care about some guy, nor did he understand her need to talk about him when her relationship was obviously over.

He understood in some way it was her attempt to check to see how much he cared and to raise some jealousy in him. But Powerglide just couldn't do it. There was no jealousy toward a male of a completely different species. Especially one that was the same species as Astoria. It wasn't like he could ever marry her. He was hardly there as it was. His last assignment to Cybertron had been over five years. It just didn't make sense to him to either worry or pine after something he could not do. Powerglide just didn't think like that.

But that didn't mean he did not care. He had, after all, shown up. He was there and he was taking this whole holiday thing patiently and he was trying not to start anything with her. But even Astoria herself had to admit, the arguments were part of the fun. She could say whatever she wanted to him and it was inconsequential. Powerglide always shot his own thoughts right back. Both opinions were accepted and that was that. Easy. Free.

Neither had any illusions of what their future held with the other. Powerglide would never be able to play any type of acceptable male role in a human relationship and Astoria's life was only a mere blink in time compared to Powerglide's infinitely long life span. They were mismatched at best. Odd. Unnatural. But somehow, balanced. And quite content with the way it was. So it was the way it remained.

"So did you get me anything for Valentine's Day?" Astoria asked as she settled back down on Powerglide's chest.

"No," came the instant response.

Her head shot up again. "Well why not? Gosh! You're so lazy! You know when I go out, I have plenty of good looking men who line up to buy me presents!"

"Well what the slag do you expect from me? If it's so important to you, get one of your human boy toys to waltz into a store and put down some cash. I'm trying to do my job here."

Instead of exploding at him, Astoria climbed further up and put her arms around his thick neck. There was always a 50-50 chance she would do either.

"Take me flying later?" she asked after she kissed the side of his face mask.

Powerglide gently rested his fingers over the small body.

"You know I would do that for you anytime."

Close File #012 Mismatched - Powerglide

.


File #013 - Gentle

"Hey. Hey Crystal. I got something for you."

Crystal glanced out from under the table to see a pair of large gray feet.

"In a minute, Bluestreak. I'm almost done."

She was currently fixing the gears on the rotating table in the med bay. They were handy to have when there was a wound that needed fluid flow redirected or an easier angle to help with a repair. The only rotating table the Ark hadn't been working for several weeks. Crystal decided to put a stop to that today.

Once satisfied with her job, she slid out from under it and went to wash the grease from her hands. Bluestreak waited patiently, which Crystal understood was hard for him. So she was happy to finally give him her time and attention.

"Alright. Now, what can I do for you?"

"For you!" He proudly thrust a thin object in her face.

Crystal took it, looking it over curiously. "It's a metal...rose?"

Bluestreak beamed. "I made it for you in Wheeljack's workshop. Happy Valentine's Day!"

Crystal just stared at it at first, but then her mouth twisted up into a sad sort of pout. Bluestreak wasn't sure what that expression meant. He had never seen it before.

"Did I...do it wrong?" he wondered. "That's what you do on February 14th, right? You give presents?"

It was barely February 14th, being that it was about 2 o'clock in the morning. Autobots didn't run on solar Earth time cycles like humans did. Having lived with them for three months now and hardly ever going outside, Crystal was keeping Autobot work hours herself.

"No, this is fine, Bluestreak. You did it right. It's just...I've never had anyone give me a valentine before."

His optics grew bigger. "Really?!"

"Uh! Not that it's a big deal to me, really!" Crystal insisted when she saw the look of sadness on his face. "It's a silly thing people do anyway. But thank you, this is really nice. I'll have to put this up in my room."

She hugged him and Bluestreak instantly brightened again.

"You're welcome! Well, I have to get going now. I have a shift. But I'm glad you like it. I'll see you later, okay?"

Crystal waved him off and then looked down at her present again. It wasn't flawless, but it was still quite good. She wondered how long he had been working at it. In truth, the entire holiday had slipped her mind. She hardly knew what the current date was anymore. Lately her days had been religiously consisting of work and sleep, refueling and little else. But this made her stop and look around. When she didn't know what day it was—not even what holiday it was—maybe it was time to take a break.

She promised herself not to get engrossed with any other projects and just take a moment. So instead of starting something new, Crystal wandered down to the break room. It was the main place to get energon. Usually she just grabbed it and took it with her. But this time, she sat herself at a table and once again looked at her present.

Crystal had meant to put the rose away first, but she wanted to keep it with her a little while longer. It felt like if she parted with it, she would forget what she was trying to do and slip back into her drone-like state.

"What'cha got there, kid? You make that?" Trailbreaker asked as he sat across from her with his own energon.

"Uh, no. Bluestreak made it for me." She held it up so Trailbreaker could see it. "He said it was for Valentine's day."

"Ah. Ol' V-Day back again, uh? The year goes by so fast."

Crystal shrugged. Her last Valentine's Day, she didn't even remember what she had done. Certainly nothing with anyone special. Back then, she never would have guessed that would have been her last. Her very last chance to find someone to spend it with. Her years as a young, human adult suddenly felt squandered.

"Don't go around announcing the holiday, okay?" Trailbreaker informed her. "You might get a few of the guys around here missing their femmes."

She nodded automatically and then balked. "Yeah—wait. Their what?"

"You know, their...what do you say down here... significant other?"

"You mean like girlfriends? Like they have girls here on Earth?" A mental image of alien cars picking up human women filled her head. Crystal wasn't sure how she felt about that being a normal practice for Autobots.

"Yes. No! No, no, no. Not like that. I meant the female Autobots. But all of them are on Cybertron."

Crystal stared at him for several seconds. "They make females of you?" she said flatly.

Now Trailbreaker was confused. "Of me?" He pointed to himself.

"What in the name of Primus are you two talking about?" Ironhide demanded as he stood over them. He had only caught bits of the tail end, but it hardly sounded appropriate to him.

"Here," Trailbreaker offered. "Ironhide has a femme."

Crystal gawked at him. "Really?"

"Sure he does! She's one feisty spitfire, too!" Trailbreaker laughed. "Even Optimus Prime has Elita-One. I'm sure he misses her, too."

"Optimus does?" Crystal repeated, her optics wide.

Trailbreaker patted an empty chair as invitation for Ironhide to sit. "Tell Crystal about Chromia."

Ironhide sat down, looking a bit confused at the sudden request. "Chromia? What for?"

Trailbreaker rested his chin on his palm, amused. "I don't think Crystal expected there to be female Autotobts. She looks a bit lost."

Ironhide's expression clearly showed how strange he thought it was that she didn't expect something so obvious. "Well, uh, I guess I could tell you a little bit. What do ya want to know?"

Crystal was suddenly very intrigued. "What does she look like?"

Ironhide scratched under his chin as he thought about it. "Well, she looks...she's kinda like...oh hell, lemme just see if I can find some pictures." He turned to the data pad built into his arm and began shifting through files.

"Make sure that's a family friendly picture, Ironhide," Trailbreaker grinned.

Ironhide threw him a glare, but kept searching. "I know I got one around here somewhere."

Trailbreaker was now looking over his shoulder as if to help him search. "Maybe Jazz has some old ones. Or maybe even Sunstreaker."

Ironhide grumbled something about young punks being too pretty.

"Well, I know she's got pictures of him!"

Ironhide stopped completely what he was doing.

"Do ya WANT me to send you to the med bay? Because ya seem to be askin' fer it."

Trailbreaker instantly went back to his seat, hands up in surrender. "Sorry, sorry. I'll keep my stupid trap shut."

Ironhide grunted his agreement and went back to searching.

"Ah, here's one she sent me a long time ago before we left Cybertron."

Crystal scooted closer so she could see the small screen on his arm. The picture had two Autobots in it. Both were surprisingly female looking. They were less bulky and had sharper, feminine facial features.

"This is Chromia." Ironhide tapped on the blue female. "This is her friend Firestar. They took this picture after they blew up a Decepticon reactor plant to make me feel better because I couldn't go."

A smoking building could be seen in the background. The blue one, Chromia, had a large weapon in her hand which was also smoking and a satisfied smile on her face. The red and orange female with her was making a shooting motion towards the building behind them.

A smile of nostalgia crossed over Ironhide's face. "Chromia was always thinking of me like that."

Crystal stared hard at the picture and then up at Ironhide as his expression turned to one of melancholy.

"You miss her," she said quietly.

"Yeah. I guess I do. It's been quite a while since I've seen her."

"Do you...love her?"

Ironhide shifted in discomfort and scratched at the back of his neck. "Well, yeah. I mean we've been together for a long time. She's my femme."

A strange look covered Crystal's face. Then she got up. "Thanks guys, I'll talk to you later. I've got other stuff to do."

She left the two confused Autobots behind as she retreated from the break room and ran back to her own private quarters. There she sat on her cot with the rose Bluestreak had given her, going over this new information.

This changed things. She wished it didn't, but it did. And she felt stupid for not even considering the possibility. Before, she thought she was beginning to understand her new life as a living robot. Now she was back at square one as a whole swarm of different possibilities opened up for her. So many new questions and no one to answer them. Or was there? She could try to ask. There was no harm in that. The more she knew about it, the better she could cope.

Crystal left her present behind and went back out to search of answers. Ratchet hadn't been in the med bay earlier, but she thought she would pop her head in to see if he had wandered back.

Nope. Still empty. Crystal went in anyway.. Maybe Ratchet had some schematics on female Autobots. She could possibly learn from that. Maybe their definition of female was different than humans. Maybe she was blowing this out of proportion.

"You look like you're on a mission."

Crystal's head instantly shot up from the computer screen.

It wasn't Ratchet who had come into the med bay.

"What do you want, Smokescreen?" she glared at him.

He shrugged nonchalantly as he wandered in. "I just happened to overhear your conversation in the break room. It made me curious."

Crystal continued to frown. Her first encounter with Smokescreen had not been a pleasant one. But it had deterred him from coming back to see her until recently. The incident in the artillery closet. From what she understood, he and Wheeljack never found anything there when she left. If either had gone back since, she didn't know of it. All she knew was that suddenly, the blue Datsun was interested in her again and made it a habit of poking his nose in her business. Of which she did not appreciate at all.

What did this nosy Autobot keep coming back for? What did he want?

"I'm not interested in satisfying your curiosity," Crystal told him curtly as she shut down the computer. Forget this. She would just come back another time when Ratchet was here and this one wasn't.

"Why not?" He continued to come closer. "You seem quite curious. I could answer some of your questions if you like. You want to know about female Autobots?"

Crystal suddenly grinned. "Somehow, I don't think you know as much about them as you think you do."

"You didn't even know they existed until just a little while ago," he shot back. He moved even closer. "What I don't get is why you're surprised in the first place. Though it has certainly explained your behavior."

He was so close now, Crystal was backing up to get away from him. Her back hit the wall and there was no more room to retreat. Smokescreen closed in.

"When you look at us, what exactly do you see, little human? Hmm?" He put a hand on the wall on either side of her, blocking her in. Crystal's fuel pump started to pick up. What was he going to do?

"It's time to get you out of that little fantasy land," Smokescreen continued. His face was so close now Crystal could almost feel his words on her face instead of just hearing them.

"We're not your toys and we're not your pets," Smokescreen insisted, his voice going lower. "You can't treat us like your emotions are too evolved for us to understand because they're not. Every single male Autobot in this base understands you and they understand what you are."

Crystal stared at him. His whole body surrounded her and she was trapped. His proximity made her extremely aware how much bigger he was, how strong he was. How male he was. And it frightened her.

Suddenly, Smokescreen wasn't there any more. There was a flash of movement, then a heavy thud on the wall next to her. He was pressed face first into the wall with his hand pinned behind his back by a very angry Prowl.

Crystal was stunned. She had never seen the black and white Autobot that furious before. She had never heard him growl like that before.

"Don't ever do that again," he said in a dangerous voice. It even made Crystal shrink back when he looked at her.

"Are you okay?" he then asked in a serious, but softer tone.

"I didn't touch her!" Smokescreen argued.

Prowl's response was to shove him harder into the wall.

"Are you?" Prowl asked Crystal again.

She shook herself and tried to gather her wits. "Yeah, I'm fine." Even as she said that, she wrapped her arms around herself. "He wasn't hurting me, he was just being the usual pain in the ass."

Prowl nodded. "Now if you would excuse us, I need to have a talk with my brother."

Crystal was more than happy to get out of there.


.

The two Lamborghinis had been searching through the base for a while until they finally found what they were looking for in one of the recharge berths.

"Ugh, how long do we have to wait?" Sunstreaker asked his brother.

Sideswipe looked at the timer and then ignored it. "It doesn't matter, she only needs like twenty minutes anyway." He turned off the berth and flipped open the lid before Sunstreaker could stop him.

Crystal flicked on her optics when she was exposed. She had been sleeping and she was a bit confused at first over what was going on. To see Sideswipe and Sunstreaker's faces looming over her did not explain anything.

"Can I...help you guys?"

Sideswipe reached right in and picked her up in his arms. Crystal squeaked in surprise and put an arm around his neck on reflex to gain her balance. Sunstreaker slapped a palm to his face at his brother's lack of respect for personal space. He would have to beat some manners into him later.

Sideswipe balanced the much smaller form in one arm as he put down the lid to the recharge berth and set her on top.

"We have something for you," he announced proudly.

All objections Crystal had to being bothered were replaced with her curiosity.

"Oh?"

Sideswipe went to grab something from Sunstreaker who slapped him away and produced it himself. Crystal took it—a thin sheet of metal—and looked it over. It was an etching of a foreign cityscape the likes she had never seen before. It had high spires and layers of streets and buildings. In the background were stars and galaxies and comets.

"Is this...Cybertron?" Crystal wondered.

"I live here," Sideswipe joked, pointing to a building.

"Yeah," Sunstreaker confirmed. "I thought about drawing Earth for you since, you know, that's your home planet. But I already had this picture in my head and I thought, you know, we'd all be going here someday..."

"Wait, you drew this, Sunstreaker?" Crystal demanded in awe.

"Well, yeah. I used to do a lot of that kind of stuff before the war."

"That's amazing!"

"I helped with some stars," Sideswipe volunteered as he cuddled up right next to her. "And I signed the back." He practically helped her turn the sheet over in his excitement.

On the back was Sunstreaker's name in gorgeous handwriting and Sideswipe's printed rather roughly.

"Happy Valentine's day," Crystal read out loud. "Oh no...did you two talk to Bluestreak this morning?"

"Bluestreak?" Sunstreaker demanded. "What are you talking about. I've been working on that for almost two weeks!"

First there was relief to know that her secret to Bluestreak, so far, was safe. Second came the self-consciousness.

"So you've been working on this...just for me? For Valentine's Day?"

If she were still human, she probably would have been blushing.

"Sure," Sunstreaker shrugged. "I just thought that since—" He paused. "Wait a minute."

He was suddenly in her face, leaning in and filling up all the personal space around her. Now Crystal would have been bright crimson as she clutched the picture to her chest. His face— his mouth—was so close to hers.

Sunstreaker gaped at her. "You know," he accused. He pulled back and laughed. "You finally figured it out!"

"Figured what out, bro?" Sideswipe wondered.

Crystal was silently asking the same thing.

Sunstreaker grinned wickedly. "That we like girls."

"Well of course we do," Sideswipe confirmed. "Who do you think we made out with, Crys? Each other?"

She gaped at him. "I didn't expect you to 'make out with' anybody! You're robots!"

"So?" Sunstreaker said. "Does that mean we're not allowed to like girl robots?"

"I didn't know there were any girl robots. What are they even used for?" Crystal sputtered.

The yellow Autobot got a silly grin. "What aren't they used for?"

Crystal scrambled off the berth to put some distance between the twins and herself. "Look, I just didn't realize, okay? There weren't any around, so I just assumed..."

"Oh, I get it!" Sideswipe announced. "Now you're worried you don't match up to other female Autobots." He patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, you're pretty in your own way. And you've got a nice personality."

Crystal's mouth fell open. "Are you saying I'm ugly?!"

Sunstreaker, who had been making cutting motions to his brother, now jumped into the conversation. "No, no! He's not saying that at all! You look fine. You just...you're..."

"Okay, so compared to Cybertronian standard of beauty then, how do I rate?"

"Come on, everyone has different opinions," Sunstreaker insisted. "You can't—"

Sideswipe tipped his hand to the side in a so-so gesture.

Crystal was offended again, mouth hanging open.

"I don't think you look...that bad," Sunstreaker floundered in a soft, helpless voice. "You're actually kind of..."

"I have to go!" she informed them and stomped out of the room.

"Wait, you forgot the—" Sunstreaker picked up the forgotten picture, but Crystal was already gone. He held the picture he worked on so fervently for a while, then turned and glared at his brother. Sideswipe gave a shrill, feminine shriek when his twin suddenly attacked him.

Ratchet had been hanging out in Wheeljack's lab, enjoying a quiet glass of energon and shooting the breeze with the inventor. The door was suddenly kicked in so violently it hit the far wall.

"You made me ugly?!" Crystal demanded in a shrill voice.

Wheeljack spilled energon on himself and almost fell off his stool. Ratchet sat up, his optics wide. Of all the talks he expected to have with her, this had not been one of them.

"You have to understand, the goal was to save your life, everything else came secondary. Not to mention the fact that we were very limited with what we had to work with here at the base."

"And we are going to make you a new body," Wheeljack put in. "This one was always meant to be temporary until we could build you a more acceptable one."

"More acceptable meaning not so ugly," Crystal translated.

"You're not ugly," Ratchet insisted. "You just don't look like a normal femme."

Crystal leaned over to look at her reflection in the shiny metal table. She didn't look at herself that much if she could help it. It felt too strange to see that reflection. Everything else she had come to accept, but she hadn't quite come to terms with her reflection yet.

She could see her lime green optics shining back at her. They were a bit big. Probably the only size they had. Her face looked normal to her, it was a regular female face. Just basic, but feminine enough. The rest of her she knew was colored magenta and some dark grays. She looked like a girl robot as far as she could tell. She wasn't sure how else she was supposed to look.

"What would make me look more normal?"

Ratchet's optics widened as he was put on the spot. He was a skilled medic. Not so skilled at making females feel good about themselves.

"Uh...well, it's like..."

"Alt mode," Wheeljack put in. "That's a big part of it."

"Yes! Exactly!" Ratchet agreed. "Having an alt mode is definitely part of the aesthetics. Which, of course, we will make sure your new body has. After that, really, it just depends on personal opinion. Different males like different qualities and designs in their females and visa versa."

Crystal looked down at her reflection again. "So my face isn't horrible to look at?"

"Your face? No, no. With our kind, many faces look the same. Except for Wheeljack's."

"Har har, Ratchet."

"Physical attraction is mostly based on the full body design. The alt mode, of course, plays some part. But also how the alt mode is designed into the root mode. Color plays a little lesser part. It all depends on the individual, really. Some males and females both are only attracted to certain alt modes. Such as land or air designs. For others, it's more important that personalities match. But really, I don't believe there are any cultural physical...perfections that certain genders try to reach. We have far too much diversity of design."

Crystal nodded, looking satisfied. It was actually really nice to know. Especially with the brand new information that there were actually female Autobots around and the two genders were attracted to each other. This opened up a whole new world and a new set of questions.

"Can I ask about one more thing? I'm sorry if this sounds weird, but why are there female Cybertronians?"

Ratchet and Wheeljack looked at her blankly. As males, both knew why there was a fairer gender for them.

"Speaking from a biological point of view," she clarified. "Two genders are meant for reproduction, but Cybertronians don't reproduce. So what's the point of having both males and females?"

Both Autobots were back to square one.

"Why not have females," Wheeljack offered. "The world would be quite dull without them, that's for sure."

Crystal looked at him, that wasn't the answer she was searching for. But apparently neither of these two knew the answer. So she decided to let it drop for now.

"Okay well, can you tell me what's the difference between a male and female Cybertronian then? Are they just smaller and prettier, or what?"

Ratchet, who had been scratching his chin over the previous question, perked up. This he knew the answer to.

"That's part of it. Most females have a more feminine appearance. But that's not always the case with every design. There are some out there who's gender is a bit ambiguous because of their outer appearance. The real deciding factor of gender comes from within. We have many of the same internal parts, but there's also types of parts designed for strictly females or males. Those parts make the body process energy differently. Thus, the energy signature for each gender is different.

"The signatures for males and females are opposites. They compliment each other and pull each other in. This plays a part of the male/female attraction to each other."

"But I have all male parts inside me, don't I?" Crystal said. "Because I haven't heard any of this stuff before now. I'm pretty sure you don't have any 'female parts' on this ship."

Ratchet and Wheeljack looked at each other guiltily.

"That's true," Wheeljack admitted. "Like we've said before, we had to work with what we had. We don't have any females on Earth so we don't carry any female parts for repairs."

"Though that actually worked out for the best," Ratchet put in.

Crystal, who was feeling the most unattractive she had ever felt in her life, rested her chin on her palm. "Oh, do explain this to me."

Now Ratchet felt bad for saying it, but he continued. "Crystal, you are female. Even if your internal workings don't fit our definitions, there's nothing we can put in you that will change who you are. Now take into consideration you are living in a base full of males who haven't seen a female in a very long time."

Crystal's optics widened. She suddenly felt stuck in a base full of predators.

Ratchet put a hand on her shoulder and Crystal tried not to jump.

"Look, we're all aware you're female and it's fine. But it's just, I think, a good idea that you're not giving out that female energy signature."

"At least until you have an alt mode so you can get away," Wheeljack put in.

Ratchet smacked him in the chest. "Don't say things like that!"

Crystal had enough. All this was too much to take in. She needed a break.

"Yeah, I'm going to go now," she said.

The two watched her leave.

"Think she'll be okay?" Wheeljack wondered.

Ratchet shrugged. "Nothing's changed really, she's just seeing things in a new light now. She'll survive."


.

Jazz was in the office he and Prowl shared, but usually only Prowl used. Jazz would only come in if he needed supplies or a specific file or report. Today was no different. Offices didn't suit him. He liked being out doing things, not sitting behind a desk. This was where Ironhide caught him.

"Uh, hey Jazz," Ironhide said a bit hesitantly when he came in.

Jazz didn't notice his tone. "Hey 'Hide. Prowl's not here right now if you need him." Usually anyone who was looking for a Second in Command was looking for Prowl. Jazz didn't mind one bit. Actually, he preferred it that way.

"Well actually, I was wanting ta ask you something," Ironhide admitted, rubbing the back of his helm.

"Oh yeah?" Now Jazz was curious. He leaned against the desk. "Shoot, man."

"Well uh, I was wondering..." He had a hard time meeting Jazz's gaze. "If you had any old picture files...of Chromia?"

Jazz's grin fell. Mostly of surprise. "Chromia? Wow. Those would be some old files. I got rid of most of them when you came around. I might have a few still hanging around back in my files on Cybertron, but nothing on me here. Sorry, man."

Ironhide's shoulders slumped. "That's okay. Just thought I'd ask."

Jazz grinned again. "Holiday gettin' to ya, huh?"

"Yeah, maybe. I just kinda realized I didn't have many pictures of her."

Jazz clapped him on the shoulder. "Well now you've got a goal for the next time you see her, huh? Later, 'Hide. Gotta get back to work."

Ironhide managed a smile. Not a bad idea. "Yeah, see ya around, Jazz."


.

Crystal heard a crunch of twigs behind her. Coming through the jumble of bare trees was a green Autobot. With winter still hanging on, he didn't blend into the forest background as much as he did during the other seasons. Still too much stark white snow and black tree trunks for that.

"You're a bit hard to find today," he remarked as he came up next to her.

"Just making you use those tracking skills of yours," she teased back. Though really she just needed to get out of the base. The day was only about half way over and it had already felt like a long one. She had so much to think about.

"Anything I can do for you, Hound?"

"Yes, actually. There's something some of the guys want to show you if you are willing to come back to the base."

She wasn't sure why, but she felt suspicious. "What is it?"

"We kind of heard from Bluestreak you never got a valentine before."

Her mouth fell open. "No, he did not!"

"I'm afraid he did."

She covered her optics with one hand. "This is kind of embarrassing. I did not mean to tell him that."

He grabbed her hand and tugged her back toward the Ark. "The damage is already done now, just come and see it."

Reluctantly, Crystal allowed herself to be dragged back. Once inside, she found it regrettable to find that several Autobots had congregated in the main area, waiting for her. It was too late to back out now. Time to swallow the embarrassment and just be polite.

One of the first Autobots to catch her eye was Bluestreak and she gave him a stern look for causing all this. The gray Datsun had the sense to look chastised for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

Before they could get to the main group, a large, bulky body stood in the way: Sludge, in dinosaur mode. He tried to say something to her, but there was an object in his mouth. When he realized communication was useless, he lowered this head and dropped the object into Crystal's hands.

"For her, Crystal. Me find," Sludge said proudly.

She held it up. A somewhat heart-shaped rock.

"Me Swoop help find, too!" he called as he perched on Sludge's back.

"Awww..." the tone was half endearment and half 'you shouldn't have'. But she kept the rock and thanked the two eager Dinobots.

Now to the main group.

There were several Autobots around, still trying to look like they were doing more important things than waiting for her. The few that consisted of a purposeful greeting party were Mirage, Trailbreaker, Perceptor, and Red Alert with Bumblebee in the middle. Brawn was close by, but trying really hard not to look like a part of the group.

"We made this for you," Bumblebee announced as he held out to her what, at first glance, looked like some kind of clear statue. "It's crystal for Crystal."

"Oh, har har," Crystal shot back.

It had a wide base with a thin stand holding up an Autobot insignia made beautifully of crystal with all the colors of the rainbow swimming inside it.

"It's very pretty." she said.

"We had everyone sign it," Bumblebee explained as he pointed to the base littered by several signatures.

"Thank you. It's very nice. But really, you guys didn't have to–"

SKKREEEEEEEEEEE

The whole room filled with the horrible sound of metal scratching against heavy metal. Crystal flinched at the horrible teeth shattering, nerve popping noise.

It was Optimus Prime. For whatever reason, he was dragging a huge slab of metal almost his own height into the room. Even the other Autobots were cringing before the noise finally stopped.

Crystal was horrified to see that it has a massive pink heart outlined on it like some grossly over-sized Valentine card. Optimus Prime gestured grandly to it as he approached her.

"For you," he announced in that deep, authoritive voice of his.

Crystal stared at him. "Why, Optimus Prime?!" she bawled. She couldn't remember being this mortified.

Optimus Prime was grinning. He had to be. She knew most often, if a Cybertronian had a mask, there wasn't anything beneath it. Mouths weren't necessary for a robot to emit words like it was for humans. It all depended on the facial design. But with Optimus Prime, he had to have a mouth under there. Because it seemed like he was grinning at her like he had just played the best joke ever.

"Me Grimlock help, too!" the Dinobot leader announced. He pointed to a pink T-Rex claw print in the corner of the world's largest valentine.

Crystal looked at it helplessly. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this mortified.

"What? You no like?" Grimlock demanded. "But me Grimlock toil endlessly for you! Have to cut this out!"

Optimus Prime was trying not to laugh. Both leaders were jerks.

"Thanks you guys," she said in a less than sincere voice. "I really...appreciate it."

"You better," Grimlock insisted. "Me Grimlock not make for just anyone."

By now, other Autobots were laughing too and patting her on the shoulder, showing her it was all in good fun. Crystal tried to be a good sport about it despite having to put up with so much attention. She did her best to let them have their joke.

After it had calmed down a bit, Sunstreaker approached her when he was able to speak with her one on one. The usually confident Autobot looked uncharacteristically timid as he came up to her, a thin sheet of metal in his hand.

"Umm, did you still want this? You kind of forgot it." He held his picture out to her lamely. But inside, if he had the ability to breathe, he would have been holding his breath.

"Oh, yes!" Crystal tried to balance the other objects in her hands so she could take the picture. She hadn't meant to shun his gift before. Despite her aversion to being the center of attention, she really appreciated the time he had taken and she wanted to keep it.

"Sorry about that. I really like the picture."

She balanced as best she could to reach up and kiss his cheek. However, Sunstreaker was a bit taller than most of the Autobots and she could only reach the side of his chin. Despite all the new information she had learned today, she figured it would be harmless enough. All in the spirit of the season after all.

"Thank you again."

Sunstreaker's eyes widened at the act, then he smiled.

"Heh, don't mention it. Glad you like it."


.

On the other side of the room, Ratchet and Ironhide had been loitering while all of this was going on.

"Interesting day," Ironhide commented as he leaned against the wall. "I heard you had quite a talk with her. I had no idea she didn't realize we had females and, ya know, relationships. I thought it would be obvious."

Ratchet shrugged. "We convince ourselves of some strange things when we feel we need to, I guess. Perhaps it helped her cope with her own situation to look at our culture in that light. Though she asked me a peculiar question." The medic rubbed his chin as the earlier conundrum came to mind. "She asked me why we have females when we don't biologically need them to increase our numbers. When we had the technology to increase our numbers, that is."

Ironhide's mouth ticked up at the side. "What did you tell her?"

"I really didn't have an answer for her. I had never thought about it before."

Ironhide chuckled. "You surprise me, Ratchet. I thought ya knew the answer to that question."

The medic looked at him skeptically. "And you do?"

"Of course I do. The answer is simple. We have femmes because we need them. Can you imagine a world without them?"

"Megatron did." Ratchet frowned. "Apparently he didn't find a use for them either when he ordered all the female Decepticons wiped out."

"And that's why we need them," Ironhide nodded. "We need them to remind us so the war doesn't make us forget. How ta feel, how to protect, how to be gentle. They remind us what we're fighting for. And if this war ever ends they'll remind us how to live without it again.

"Check out Sunstreaker." He pointed to where the yellow Autobot was still talking with Crystal, looking very pleased with himself.

"That mech used to bristle at the slightest thing," Ironhide recalled. "She's softened his edges since she's been here. That's what they do. As mechs we're rough, violent and stupid. The femmes, they complete everything we're not. That's why we have them. That's why Primus created us to be different."

Ratchet thought on that and then grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. "Ironhide, you're smarter than we give you credit for."

The weathered Autobot instantly growled. "What's that supposed ta mean?!"


.

Crystal tried once again to hide outside the Ark for some alone time. All her presents had been put away aside from the ghastly, giant valentine that now haunted the main area. It had been such a strange day. So different from her days and days of routine work to keep herself busy. She had learned new things that day that shouldn't have changed anything, but it somehow felt like it did.

She had seen them so different before. Or maybe, she told herself, she had been trying hard to make sure they seemed different from her. To find out they were more similar than she first imagined left her feeling out of place and further away from them rather than closer. In truth, she didn't know what to feel anymore.

It was now dusk. She sat at the side of the volcano as two pale forms came around, glowing in the faint, remaining light.

"Hey," Jazz greeted. "I hope you don't mind putting up with us for a little while."

Crystal forced a smile. "No, it's fine. Come sit." She patted the ground next to her.

Jazz and Prowl sat on either side of her, boxing her in. They were hardly taller than she was, but they had a heavy bulk to them that Crystal couldn't compete with. When they were together, they seemed like a force that demanded respect and awe. So much different than how she remembered them when they were small and invading her New York apartment.

They both had a beauty about them. Stark white and black. Elegant, powerful. She had seen them both in action. They were heavily built, but carried themselves like all that heavy armor was nothing. Having them together so close to her made her feel clumsy and simple and plain.

Her thoughts went back to what Ratchet had explained to her earlier. She lacked an alt mode which meant she lacked in physical beauty to their culture. She wondered if she appeared ugly to them. What did they look for in female Autobots? Crystal suddenly wondered if they had anyone either of them had left back home. It was strange to look at them and wonder if there was anyone they pined for when they got lonely in the middle of the night. Certainly they had both known females more beautiful than herself. The thought made her pull her legs up to her chest and hug her knees. She was glad for the fading light.

"Crystal," Prowl spoke in that low, calm tone he had. "About earlier today. If Smokescreen bothers you again, you let me know, alright?"

Crystal shrugged, embarrassed yet again. "It wasn't a big deal. He's annoying, but I know he's harmless. I think he just likes pushing people's buttons."

"I don't want him near you," Prowl announced with such resignation that Crystal jerked her head around to stare at him. He met her gaze with all seriousness.

Jazz made a coughing sound to break the tension and to stop Prowl from getting too bent out of shape over something that had already happened.

"Uh, the real reason we came out here, Crys," Jazz explained. "Is because we got something for you."

"Oh jeeze." She hid her face in her hands. "Don't you guys think the joke has gone on long enough? I don't need any more presents. Really."

Jazz grinned. "Yeah, but we've been meaning to give this to you for a while. We just didn't know when would be the right time."

He tapped a thin disk on the top of her head and Crystal reached up to grab it. It only had her name on it. There was no other indication of what it contained.

"It's your video," Jazz explained. "With your home movies on it. Prowl dug it out and I converted it to a disk."

Crystal stared at it. She hadn't given any thought to the long lost tape for quite some time now. It was too painful to think about it. But to have it mentioned and hold it in her hands, she had not been prepared for that. Her face twisted in pain and her shoulders heaved. Without warning, she began to cry.

Prowl stiffened, looking ready to jump to his feet. His optics were wide in horror at what had just happened.

Jazz handled it a bit better. He gathered her up in his arms and pulled the smaller form against his side. Crystal tried to fight it. She abhorred crying in front of either one of them, let alone both. But the flood gates were open and she couldn't stop it.

"Hey," Jazz soothed as he rubbed her back and put his cheek on the top of her head. "It's okay. It will be okay."

This was actually what they had been hoping to avoid by keeping the tape for so long. That tape was the strongest connection to her human life and neither was sure how she would react to it. Ratchet had suggested they confirm her mental stability before giving it to her.

Prowl was worried that they had given it to her too soon, but Jazz understood. No matter how much time had passed, some things just need to be mourned and there was nothing wrong with that.

Crystal still fought it. In the past she was perfectly content to playfully cuddle up to certain Autobots like Jazz or Blaster, but she just couldn't do it today. As soon as she started crying, she was trying to get herself to stop. She pushed away from Jazz and willed herself to become composed again.

"Crystal," Prowl said, his hand hovering over her shoulder, afraid to touch her. "I apologize if we upset you. It wasn't our intention."

"No, no. It's fine." She kept touching her face to wipe away the tears, but there weren't any. Her optics were unable to produce them. It still felt weird. "I just wasn't prepared, that's all. I am really happy to have this back. Really."

Jazz was not as hesitant to make contact and rubbed her back. "Don't worry about it. You do what you feel like, okay?"

She smiled up at him gratefully. Jazz always knew what to say. Prowl, however, felt more helpless than ever. He never knew what to do with her. She had a way that made him feel useless at times and he silently envied Jazz's social abilities.

"Hey guys," Sideswipe greeted casually as he strolled up to them. "Mind if I borrow Crys for a second? I have one last thing to give her in spirit of the holidays."

Crystal sighed on the inside. More presents? This day was never going to end. However, she stood up and put on a gracious face.

"Alright, Sideswipe," she said as temperately as she could. "What else do you want to give me."

The red Autobot suddenly grabbed her and dipped her backwards, putting his full, metal mouth on her. Crystal sputtered as the two Autobot seconds jumped up and voiced their objection. Soon the night air was full of all sorts of shouts and cries as the two seconds chased him off. Crystal watched them all go, unsure of how to feel. It had definitely been an odd day.

Close File #013 Gentle - Ironhide