Years Later...
Dr. Shelby had to admit, he had outdone himself this time. He usually threw a small get together at the Community Center for his graduating classes and their families, but with his two favorite problem children miraculously completing their Anger Management programs, he decided to spend the extra time to make this one a bit more intricate. He'd never assumed Kane or Daniel had what it took to find their peace, but he was unbelievably proud of the unlikely pair.
That being said, something was wrong, very wrong, with Kane.
The Devil's Favorite Demon, as he so often called himself, had actually spoken to Dr. Shelby without being spoken to first, which was of course, the first alarming thing he'd done.
He still wasn't smiling, but he also wasn't actively frowning. Sound alarm number two.
To top it all off, the most horrifying of all his actions on this day, he shook Herald's hand. DING DING DING. Alarm number three. This was an emergency in dire need of Dr. Shelby's attention. Kane was out of control. He watched as the Monster actually talked to, and interacted with his class mates, eyeing him suspiciously as the giant quelled Daniel's outbursts of, "No!" on more than a few occasions. Could this be possible? Was Kane in a good mood? And who had he killed to be in such a good mood?
Mustering up all his courage, Shelby pulled himself up by his bootstraps and approached the monster, his voice sickeningly sweet. "Kane, can I talk to you for a second?"
This struck Kane as odd, but he turned to Dr. Shelby and uttered. "Sure, doc."
Shelby shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, in private if we could."
Kane took a sip of lemonade out of a little plastic cup, which looked like a child toy in his gigantic hand. The masked man stood his ground. "No."
Shelby shook his head quickly. This was about to get embarrassing. All eyes in the group were on him, the whole community center room was looking at the two men while Dr. Shelby stuttered, "Well, I, uh, not that I'm not happy for you but- you're ah- in an unusually chipper mood, and I've never seen you emote anything other than anger, and neutrality, and I was just wondering..."
Kane held up a hand interrupting the stammering doctor and setting his cup down. He calmly picked up a bite sized cookie from the table next to him.
"My wife is coming." he stated, as if it was the simplest concept in the world. It would have been an easy sentence for the doctor and fellow classmates to accept, and if that sentence had come out of anyone else's mouth, Dr. Shelby might have shrugged it off and said something to the effect of, 'good for you'. But it was Kane who said this. Kane, who grew up in mental institutions and liked to set people on fire. Dr. Shelby laughed nervously as everyone watched, wide-eyed, to see how he would react.
"Your... your wife is coming?" The doctor repeated after Kane, who popped the cookie in his mouth in one bite and bit down, chewing on the little store bought confection. For a moments the only sound in the room was Kane's chewing.
"Yup." he dismissed through a mouthful of cookie and, looking across the room at classmates who gazed at him in disbelief and amusement, swallowed and swept his hands together to get rid of the crumbs. He began to realize that everyone was looking at him in what could only be described as utter shock. "What?"
"Oh, nothing, Kane, that's all I was curious about, never mind them." Shelby sputtered, moving away from the Big Red Machine. Still wrapping his head around the absolute cluster fuck of a conversation he'd just had with his now-former student.
The next ten minutes passed by achingly slow. Kane couldn't count on both hands how many people came up to him to ask him if was really married, or just playing some awful joke on poor Dr. Shelby. Daniel was even starting to get annoyed. Everyone knew they were closer to each other than anyone else in the class, and he even spent most of the next ten minutes reiterating that yes, it was true, Kane's wife herself was going to walk through that door any moment.
No one really seemed to believe them. Most of the class thought they were lying, the rest thought Kane was just a little crazier than originally thought, but were sure Kane believed he was married. But, all that speculation was put to rest when two remarkably tall, near-identical, six year old boys bust through the double doors, making quite a ruckus. One had long, curly dark hair, one was bald, but both shared unusually bright blue eyes. Soon, the boys stopped and turned their attention to Kane, screaming a word one would never expect to come from young children and be directed at someone like Kane,
"Daddy!" the twins ran right at the Demon, and threw their arms round each of his legs. To everyone's surprise, Kane never told the strange kids to get lost, but instead placed a giant hand on the head of each boy, muttering,
"Damien, Ixaka, where's your mother?" The twins looked up at Kane and shrugged, going back to holding the behemoth captive where he stood. Soon enough though, the door was opened wide again by yet another newcomer. She leaned on the handle, looking quite worn out, readjusting the little girl on her hip.
Dr. Shelby's graduating Anger Management Class all looked, mouths agape. No one was quite sure what to expect from Kane's fabled 'wife' but it definitely wasn't this. A small, brunette young woman around her thirties with a nine month old baby girl looked to find Kane and smiled wide. "Hey! I see you found the twins." she breathed, making her way in and suddenly noticing the stares she'd earned, attempting to ignore them.
"Twins found me." Kane corrected.
Before Freyja had a chance to get over to her husband, Daniel flew out of nowhere to throw his arms around Freyja, being mindful of the baby, screeching, "Rey!"
Freyja drew back slightly, laughing at the man, and put her free arm around him. Daniel had only been to Kane's twice, and he'd forced himself inside, but he'd become close with the woman, much to Kane's chagrin. "Hello Daniel." she laughed softly.
Daniel turned now to the baby, who had found some entertainment in toying with Daniel's coarse beard. "I know it's been a few months but I know this big girl can't possibly be Lilith!"
Freyja smiled, amused, and said, "No need for flattery, Daniel. Would you like to hold her?"
Daniel made grabby hands at the baby, who squeaked, laughed, and repeated the action. Freyja handed the baby over and distracted Daniel enough to turn to her husband once more, his tree trunk legs long forgotten by the boys in favor of mobbing Dr. Shelby's son Richard. Freyja drew close, letting one hand come up to Kane's shoulder, which he happily leaned down towards to kiss her a bit more passionately than was really necessary. Breaking apart, Freyja whispered into her husbands lips, "Missed you..."
Kane just hummed, and the moment was quickly interrupted by six year old gagging from across the room at the sight of their parents kissing. Freyja turned on the boys, still in Kane's arms. "Oi! Hush!" she scolded, and the twins giggled, and tried to convince young Richard to play with them, Damien offering up a black hat with a wide, flat brim.
This definitely threw everyone for a loop. They'd all reached the general consensus, with no words needing to be spoken, that Kane was not the type of person that should be good with kids, he was not someone six year old twins called 'dad', and there was absolutely no way he was married to this nice, pretty, normal-looking young woman.
Freyja leaned up to whisper in her husbands ear, a fake smile plastered on her face, "Why is everyone staring at us?"
"I don't think anyone believes you're actually my wife." he explained.
She stepped back from Kane a bit, and gave him that wicked smile of hers. "Guess I'd better go make some friends then."
Dr. Shelby dared approach the couple, smiling widely, but uncomfortably. Before he had a chance to say anything, Freyja recognized him and said in a light accent he couldn't place, "Ah! You must be Doctor Shelby. I've heard... so much about you." Her smile told him she hadn't heard a single good thing about him.
Shelby took her hand tentatively, giving a slightly nervous little laugh. "All good things I hope!" he joked.
Freyja just lifted her eyebrows and smiled, saying, "Sure!" unconvincingly. "I'm Freyja."
"And you are... Kane's wife?" Another man chimed in as Freyja waded into the sea of curious faces. Kane turned back to his little group he'd been talking to. Of course, he was subjected to the same barrage of questions Freyja was currently being subjected to. But, he knew she could handle herself.
"Yes," Freyja stated, a bit confused at the question. "It is true, Kane is my husband."
"Cute boys you have there." One man remarked, a comment laughed off by Freyja.
"Oh, thank you. They're kind of on my shit list right now, though." She joked." Damien is obsessed with his uncle Mark, so we got him a tiny bolero hat for Christmas. But now they won't stop playing 'Brothers of Destruction', except the only thing that gets destroyed is the cats peace of mind and our home decor."
"Ah, so... when did you meet?"
"2006." Freyja dismissed, unsure of what all these invasive questions were meant to achieve. She shifted uncomfortably as she drew a large, inquisitive crowd. It was like a scene from a horror movie.
"Listen," another woman lowered her voice. "We all know this has to be some prank. How much did he pay you to bring your kids in here and pretend to be his wife?"
Freyja looked up at the woman, straightening her back and tilting her head at her, a flash of irritation crossing her eyes So, that's what this was about? "I beg your pardon?"
The woman faltered, "I-I- I didn't mean to offend you it's just, there's no way, I mean, we look at you, and then we look at him we all-"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Freyja interrupted her, getting a little closer than she needed to, while Dr. Shelby noticed the altercation about to transpire, and that Kane was merely watching, amused, and doing nothing about it. He bolted over and lay a hand on each woman's shoulder.
"Listen, listen, Freyja, you have to be honest with yourself, you and Kane don't exactly look like the most likely pair." Shelby placated to the angry woman. Perhaps she was Kane's wife after all, with a fuse that short they must have a lot in common.
Freyja backed off just slightly, feeling herself cool off as she crossed her arms and pursed her lips at the other woman.
"Nancy, why don't you and the others tell Freyja why you think she's lying, and Freyja," Dr. Shelby addressed in his best therapist voice. "Do you promise not to get angry if they are honest with you?"
Freyja didn't respond to him, but turned to look at Kane, pointing at Dr. Shelby and laughing lightly. "You were right about this guy!" She remarked before turning back to him and chuckling, "Sure."
The doctor elected to ignore the other comment, and turned toward this woman. Nancy, and motioned for her to go on, to which she nervously stated, "You just... seem way too normal, and Kane seems a lot older than you, it just... doesn't make sense. If you're Kane's wife, all I can possibly ask is... how?"
Freyja nodded slowly, taking in all the greivances. It wasn't anything she'd never heard before. So, taking a deep breath in, she started in on a monologue she'd rehearsed time and time again. "Yes, Kane's 13 years older than me, and-"
Daniel emitted a horrified gasp from across the room as he was handing a crying Lilith over to Kane. "13 years?!"
Freyja shot Daniel an unimpressed look at his interruption. "I love how you're acting like that's the weirdest part about our relationship. Anyway, Kane's ex wife Lita conspired with our boss and her boyfriend at the time to force us to marry each other so she'd have a way out of being married to him." Freyja went on, like it was chicken pox, or a bad breakup, or something that happened to everyone. Kane had made his way over with the baby, who'd abandoned her sobbing in favor of absentmindedly twirling his ringlets in her fingers, babbling nonsense.
"And then Freyja went crazy and set out on a revenge crusade, assaulted various people and ruining Lita and Edge's life." Kane continued, in almost exactly the same tone of voice.
"I didn't go crazy!" Freyja protested, fixing the little bow in Lilith's hair.
Kane looked down at his wife, "You beat the shit out of my ex-wife and poured concrete on her things on live television."
Freyja looked at the small audience she'd assembled. "I might have gone a little crazy."
Dr. Shelby tilted his head. "So, wait, all that with AJ was..."
"A work." Kane affirmed. "They do that a lot now. And now that you've met Freyja, you deserve to know that. But if you tell anyone, I will personally beat the hell out of you."
"Did you ever even need to go to Anger Management?" Shelby demanded.
Freyja turned to Kane, and husband and wife shared a look, before turning back to Shelby and replying, in unison, "Yes."
An awkward pause followed, until Kane eventually dared to ask, "So, can I leave yet? Do I have to stay here any longer?"
The doctor shook his head, "No one's forcing you to be here, Kane."
"Great! I'm leaving." Kane used a heavy hand on the small of Freyja's back to guide her away from the circling vultures that were his ex-classmates. "Boys!" He called at the twins, who had found themselves playing tag around the snack table.
Daniel saw no reason to stick around either, following them out.
"Kane?" Freyja gazed up at her husband, eyes half lidded.
"Hm?" He hummed, letting Lilith play with his fingers, not really paying attention to anything else.
"Can we find somewhere to drop the kids off for a few hours?" She asked, her voice dropping half an octave, causing the older man to crane his neck, starting to get the hint.
"Oh! Let me take them!" Daniel piped up from behind them, oblivious to the nuance of their exchange and giving the couple a small shock, neither one having noticed they'd been followed out. "I'll take them to the arcade or something, it'll be great!"
Kane narrowed his eyes at the small man. "What makes you think I'm going to trust you with my children?"
"Come on," Daniel pressed. "Just once? If anything happens, you can just have more?"
Kane rolled his eyes, reluctantly handing over his daughter to Daniel. "You call us if anything happens."
"Boys, you listen to Daniel or he will call me and I will come down there myself, you understand? And Daniel?" Freyja got the attention of the wrestler, "If anything happens to my kids, I will neuter you."
Daniel laughed nervously, ushering the young ones away. "Okay..."
As the motley crew turned the corner, Freyja reached out to grab a hold of Kane's hand a knowing smile crossing her lips. "Come on, I know how we can spend our few hours of solitude..."
A little bit of fluffyness to close off our time together in Wickerman, featuring UncleFriend!Daniel and Dad!Kane.
Thank you so, so much for reading! It really means a lot to me, and I hope you all enjoyed this fic! I appreciate each and every one of you!
If you're so sad that it's over have no fear! You can always find me on tumblr xwicker-manx, Where I may post more Wickerman Content, as well as other Fics and Requests! Again, Thank you!
