A month on Gaia did not equal a month in Tartarus. Percy could attest to this- if anyone ever bothered to ask him. How did he know? He measured by how many times he had to trim his nails; about ten. Thing is, he only did that when they reached about a half-inch in length, which took a little over a month. Maybe five weeks. So, at a minimum, he had spent eleven months in the Pit. He'd round it up to a year, since that sounded nicer, though.
For this reason, it was unsettling to return to Gaia, only to find that thirty days had passed. Then again, it wasn't like it really mattered. He hadn't wasted the time, since he was fighting all the time, constantly improving his abilities. Besides, he wouldn't live long enough for the extra year to be important. Such was the demigod struggle.
Then again, most demigods only died early because they were brutally slaughtered by monsters. Considering how many he had killed during his impromptu vacation, they weren't really something to worry about. Maybe he would live to old age after all. Maybe. Probably not, if he kept doing impulsive things.
Like infiltrating Mount Olympus on the day of the Winter Solstice, for example.
"I proclaim this assembly in session!" Zeus boomed, slamming his Master Bolt down on the granite floor. "Who shall speak first!?"
"Brother," Poseidon chided, "There is no need to shout. We are all right here." The Sea God gestured to the distance between the thrones, which was actually not that much to giant beings such as the Olympians.
Zeus coughed awkwardly, then cleared his throat. "Apologies. So, who has any issues to bring up, that we have not covered before?" That last bit was directed at Dionysus, who had raised his hand to beg for a lightening of punishment in Camp Half-Blood, like always. The Wine God dropped his hand, fixing his father with a stink eye, then opened up his wine magazine, having to resort to fantasizing about tasting alcohol.
Artemis was the first- technically second- to raise her hand. "Recruitment of new Hunters has become difficult, especially in Camp Half-Blood, since the children of a certain goddess continue to slander the name of my maidens."
Zeus sighed in mild irritation. "I said problems we have not covered, Daughter."
"And we have not covered this issue, since nothing was done, Father," the goddess replied, raising her chin in defiance.
The king sighed again. "Aphrodite, please tell your children to stop slandering the Hunters," he said monotonously.
Aphrodite nodded, then childishly stuck her tongue out at Artemis, whose fingers were twitching with the desire to turn the Love Goddess in a pincushion. However, she was able to keep herself in check. Such behavior was unbecoming of an immortal of her standing.
Hera spoke up next. "Thalia Grace continues to disrespect me," she said, turning a piercing stare on her husband, to gauge his reaction.
"We have already covered that topic, my dear."
"How? The girl is still alive."
"We are not killing my daughter!" Zeus thundered, causing Hera to lean away, lest her godly eardrums be blown out. The Queen remained quiet, though she petulantly refused to look at her husband for the remainder of the solstice assembly.
Zeus blew air through his nose, causing his nostrils to flare, then glanced at the other Olympians to see if they had any problems to address. Surprisingly, it was his oldest brother who had his hand raised.
"Hades? What is wrong?" The God of Lightning was fairly startled to be asking that of the normally independent God of the Dead.
"Nothing pertaining to me, specifically. No, I believe, this is a matter which affects all currently present."
The other Olympians tensed up. Hades was the one who ruled Erebus, the Underworld, and therefore monitored the main entrances to Tartarus. As such, he would know if any of their deadliest enemies of old were stirring, or worse; trying to escape.
"And… What is this matter which concerns us all?" Zeus asked after a moment of silence.
Hades was enjoying the anticipation of his fellow gods, which as a bonus, served to irritate his youngest brother, something the Death God would never pass up on. However, the moment quickly passed, and Hades grew serious.
"There is a spy in our midst."
The effect was instantaneous. Every Olympian summoned their symbol of power to themselves, Athena even going so far as to shroud herself in her battle armor. Within moments, the gods were accusing each other of treachery, some with silent, piercing gazes, and others with loud words. One such example was Zeus.
"Ares, have you been bewitched again!?" he boomed.
"No!" the war god roared back, "That was a one time thing! Just let it go, old man!"
Hades was quite content to sit back and let the antics unfold. He summoned one of his novels from his palace- a god had to stay entertained somehow, besides fucking anything that moved- and cracked it open. He managed to finish two pages before he noticed that the throne room had gone silent.
"You don't look particularly worried, Hades." Zeus said his brother's name accusingly.
"Of course I'm not; I know this spy," the god of shadows replied.
Zeus pointed his Master Bolt at Hades, who remained calm. "Are you saying that this spy is yours!?"
"No, I would never do such a thing," Hades responded, waving away the accusation nonchalantly. "If anything, this spy is more Poseidon's than mine."
"What!?" the king shouted, turning on the Sea God, who raised his trident in defense.
"Hades, speak sense! You know I have nothing to do with this!" Poseidon cried, going cross-eyed from trying to keep an eye on the Master Bolt, which was dangerously close to his face.
"Oh, I know. This just too funny."
Zeus' temper finally reached its breaking point. He slammed the Master Bolt into the ground- eliciting a sigh of relief from Poseidon when the weapon was finally pointed away from him- and sending a bolt of lighting crashing down into the center of the throne room.
"Stop playing games, Hades!" Zeus roared.
Hades sighed. "You are just so not fun, little brother. I'm not worried because this spy is someone who is not dangerous to us."
Zeus was now too angry to speak, instead simply pointing his symbol of power at Hades, waving the weapon around menacingly. Hades did not particularly feel like getting zapped, so he relented.
"Fine," Hades grumbled. He leaned over the side of his throne, and stretched his arm into the shadows pooling on the floor. The rest of the Olympians watched as Hades comically fished around in the darkness, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration, before he finally snagged what he was looking for. With a muttered cry of triumph, Hades drew his arm out of the shadows, holding… A person?
The other gods thought it was a person. They wore mortal clothes- black jeans, black shirt, and an open purple hoodie (the hood of which the spy was currently dangling by), all of which were tattered but intact. It had the shape of a human; two arms and two legs, one head, covered by a messy mop of raven hair, all of which seemed proportional. The only thing which confused the Olympians was the spy's face. It must have been covered by a mask, they assumed, since no monster they knew of had a face like that.
The supposed mask was bone white, covering the spy's face perfectly enough that no defining features showed through. There were two distinct crimson lines running down the height of the mask, only being interrupted by the eye holes and the mouth, which was not smooth like the rest of the mask. Instead, it was a series of human-shaped teeth, vertically longer than normal mortals, which also stretched across the width of the mask. It was an odd sight.
The supposed spy was not struggling, as if he had resigned himself to death at the hands of the all-powerful gods.
Zeus pointed his Master Bolt at the spy. "Speak! Who sent you!?"
"Would you mind not pointing that thing at me?" Hades asked.
"Then put the spy down, you fool!" Zeus retorted.
With a roll of his eyes, Hades tossed the spy towards the center of the throne room. The spy reoriented himself in the air, landing on his feet. Then, he flicked up his purple hood, dusting it off.
"I will have you know that my hands are not dirty," Hades told him, slightly irritated by the gesture.
The spy turned around, and gave Hades what the god knew to be an apathetic look, enhanced by his eyes, which filled the sockets of the mask with a sickly yellow glow. He dusted his hood off again mockingly, and turned to face Zeus. Hades frowned slightly, but refrained from interrupting Zeus' interrogation. If he was right about the spy's identity, then this would provide some entertainment.
"Who are you working for!?" Zeus asked again, jabbing the Master Bolt at the spy for good measure.
Finally, the spy spoke. It was in a raspy tone, which also had a slight, growling echo.
"Nobody."
The king's eyes narrowed. "Lies! Why else would you be here!?"
The spy pondered the question for a moment, before shrugging. "I was bored."
A vein bulged on Zeus' neck, threatening to burst. Finally, he wised up, and realized he was not the best person to be doing an interrogation. "Apollo! Is he lying!?"
The Sun God had his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Oddly enough, he's not. Are you actually here because you were bored, Mr. Spy?"
"Yes."
"Hmm… Well I'll be damned- he really is telling the truth. So, what are ya gonna do with the information you've gathered?" Apollo asked casually.
"What information?"
"You know, about the stuff you've heard while you were in here?"
"I heard no information- only petty whining."
Apollo snorted, and had to look away for a moment while trying to contain his humor. Hermes had no such reservations, and burst out laughing, falling back into his throne heavily. Even Hades chuckled, disturbing those who could hear him.
"Alright," Apollo continued, after straightening his face, "Were you even spying in the first place?"
"No, I was merely looking for entertainment."
"And- heh- did you find it?"
The masked spy nodded.
Apollo was feeling a bit cheeky now. "So what do you think?" he asked.
The spy crossed his arms, turning his gaze to the floor, thinking for a moment. Finally, he picked his head up, and looked straight into Apollo's eyes, sky blue meeting sickly yellow.
"Better than reality TV."
Apollo couldn't help it; he started laughing. A belly-deep laughter which shook his powerful frame, causing him to slip out of his throne and curl up in fetal position. He was soon joined on the marble by Hermes, who fell apart when Apollo's laughter became so high-pitched, it went silent. Soon, Hermes began to do the same seal impression as his half-brother. With them mutely shrieking, nothing was left to cover up the perturbing noise of Hades' deep chuckle.
It wasn't that the noise was repulsive in anyway. In fact, it was rather enticing; a smooth-as-silk baritone that echoed in a steady, lulling rhythm. Rather, what was scary was the fact that Hades was laughing at all. The Lord of the Underworld did not laugh. Period. He did not even chuckle. At least, he wasn't supposed to. As far as the Olympians knew, Hades was only visibly amused by things that would make even the other gods cringe in disgust. So, for him to be showing such mirth now had them more than a bit worried.
Basically, if Hades found something funny, it was not going to be good for anyone involved. Suspicious eyes turned on the spy, who was standing in the center of the throne room without a care in the world.
"Can I go now?"
Zeus dragged a hand down his face. "No, you cannot simply go. This has been a major breach in security, and we must keep an eye on you to ensure you don't decide to turn against us."
"Well, if you're trying to keep me contained, that won't end well. I like my freedom. So… Good luck with that one." With that, the spy walked back over to Hades' throne, and stood in the shadows he had previously been yanked out of. A long moment passed, and then another, before the spy looked up at Hades.
"You're a real bitch, you know that?" A few of the gods were startled at the blatant disrespect, and expected Hades to blast the arrogant spy to ashes. They were fairly surprised when he continued to live.
Rather than verbally respond, a tendril of shadows floated up from the ground, wrapped itself around the spy, then tossed him back toward the center of the throne room, where he once again landed perfectly.
"Alright, so I suppose you can keep me contained. What are you going to do with that information, oh great king?"
Zeus' right eye twitched, but he ignored the not-so-subtle barb. "Obviously, I'm going to keep you contained!"
"Okay, but why though? I didn't do anything wrong."
"You were intruding in the throne room of Olympus! That is plenty wrong- enough that you are lucky I do not vaporize you on the spot!"
"You could do that. Or, we could just ignore this whole mess and go back to our lives."
"Absolutely not! You are a threat to the security of Olympus!"
The spy was silent for a moment, but Zeus could sense the judgement in those yellow eyes.
"Didn't you just say that you could easily kill me? Not much of a threat if you can just step on me and be done with it."
Ares spoke up. "I like the punk's idea. Matter of fact, let's just do it." The War God got up from his throne and walked over to the spy quickly. When he was positioned just right, Ares lifted his left foot, and brought it down on the spy.
Massive combat boot made contact with granite, and that was the end of that. At least, the Olympians thought so, until Ares lifted his muscular leg, revealing no crushed corpse.
"The heck?" the god muttered to himself, looking around the throne room. He caught sight of the spy in the shadow of Hades' throne. Irritated, Ares lashed out- with words instead of fists, for once.
"Hey, Uncle H, how come the punk is so attached to you? You sure you don't have something to do with this?"
Athena put in her own two cents. "Yes, it is quite strange that he is not very afraid to be near you. I would have thought that your reputation for needless cruelty and association with death would scare away spies. In fact, it seems he has your ability to Shadow Travel. Would you care to explain, dear Uncle?
"You are mistaken, Athena. That was not Shadow Travel, but Shadow Walking. There is a distinct difference."
The throne room fell into silence, Athena staring at Hades intently. "Are you not going to elaborate?"
"No."
"And why not?"
"Because I don't know the difference."
Athena facepalmed, then turned to the spy, who was now casually leaning against the death god's throne. "Do you want to explain the difference?"
"Not particularly."
The Wisdom Goddess' gaze narrowed dangerously, and was then turned back on Hades. "Are you sure he is not your son?"
"Positive. Nico is doing his duties as the Ghost King in the Underworld, and the rest of my children were killed, courtesy of you all."
Athena bristled, her temper flaring. "Are you accusing me-!?"
"Oh my gods. Shut up!" the spy interrupted, actually making her do so, though more out of shock than anything else. In an instant, her ire was directed on the mortal.
"You dare!?"
"Yes, I dare. Now be quiet, your king was speaking."
Zeus was confused a moment, before he remembered that he was the king, and he had been cut off by Ares, which then devolved into this mess. "Uh, yes, I was. Athena, stand down. You spy, will be… Sent to Camp Half-Blood, where Dionysus will keep an eye on you."
The throne room fell silent in shock.
"You mean that guy?" the spy asked, pointing to the passed out Wine God, who was drooling onto his shoulder, magazine on the floor.
Zeus rolled his jaw in annoyance. "Yes, in exchange for a reduced sentence on my son's part."
Dionysus jumped up, startling the two gods nearest to him, Hephaestus and Apollo.
"What was that!?" he cried desperately.
The Thunder God shook his head at his son's disgraceful behavior. "I said, your tenure at Camp Half-Blood will be reduced if you keep an eye on the spy."
"Oh?" Dionysus sat up, greatly intrigued. "And what does that entail?"
"Keeping him within camp at all times, preventing outside contact, and of course, keeping our children safe."
Dionysus eyed the spy, then shook his head as well. "Nah. One of those brats is bound to piss him off, and I don't feel like being responsible for their death."
Zeus leaned back in his throne, astounded. Dionysus, who complained constantly about his restrictions, was turning down a chance to get out of the camp earlier? He was already responsible for any of the children's deaths!
The king was about to command his son to explain, but said son had already fallen asleep once more. What a worthless excuse for an Olympian- not that Zeus would ever say that out loud.
"Well… That was… Helpful," he muttered. The Lightning God's mind was racing, trying to think of what to do with the spy. Maybe Hades could… No, the Underworld was far too massive, and Zeus did not trust his brother, either of them. Athena absolutely would not, Ares would try to fight him all the time, Hephaestus might accidentally toss the spy into his forge and make him into a weapon-!
"I'll do it."
Zeus' head snapped up from his internal panic, and he looked at the speaker as if they were his savior. Until he realized who it was.
"Um… Artemis? Are you… Sure?"
"Of course. My girls need to use something for live target practice."
Zeus shuddered. He remembered the time he had done much the same for Artemis herself, under the guise of some father-daughter bonding time… Never again..
"Well, if that is your wish…"
"Do I not get a say in this?" the spy asked.
Zeus felt himself pitying the mortal, before he steeled himself.
"No, you do not. If Artemis wishes to use you as a target, then you will be a target. So long as she does not kill you. Understand, Artemis? He is to remain alive and… sensible. You are otherwise free to do as you choose..." Zeus trailed off, imagining the torturous things his sadistic daughter might do, and shivered once more.
"Alright, I believe that is enough… Discussion, for one day. Artemis, take care of the spy- and remember, keep him alive. The rest of you, we shall continue this tomorrow. Council adjourned!"
The other gods flashed out, to do whatever they normally did, whether it be tending to their domains or bedding mortals. Only Artemis, Poseidon, and Dionysus remained, and the last one was asleep.
"Artemis, may I speak to the spy?" Poseidon requested. The silver goddess nodded, then noticed the look her uncle was giving her.
"Oh, you meant in private. I suppose so, just bring him to me at my camp when you are done." With that, she flashed out as well. Poseidon would be able to find her by sensing her divine essence, so he wasn't worried about the lack of information given to him.
"So. How have you been, Perseus?
