"Alright, you ready, Akhlys?"

"Of course, I've prepared for this for a few months."

"Remember your name?"

"Ashley- and before you ask, I'm to refer to you as Ghost, only."

"Yup. And remember, never…" Percy trailed off, waiting for the Goddess of Misery to finish the sentence.

Akhyls sighed. "Never take off the necklace, I know. Can we go now?" she asked, sounding very annoyed. That was probably because Percy had asked her his question ten times in the last half-hour.

"Right, sorry… Just, nervous. No clue why, though…" Percy chuckled, rubbing Akhyls' head. The goddess leaned into the touch, since she had never experienced positive physical contact. It felt nice.

As Ashley, Akhyls became a mortal child, about the size of a six-year-old, with a full head of non-greasy black hair, and pale white skin. Her eyes remained the same sickly yellow they were before (coincidentally the same as Percy's under the influence of the mask), since that was impossible to change. However, she was no longer radiating a joy-draining aura, courtesy of the charm from the Fates, in the shape of a snowflake necklace. It restricted the majority of her powers, such as her manipulation of poison, and obviously her innate ability to cause misery to her surroundings. Her Primordial-level energy was also mostly contained, being reduced all the way down to that of an exceptionally strong adult child of the Big Three, which Percy thought was pretty damned impressive.

The disguise was necessary if Percy was going to show her Gaia's domain, without alerting every immortal on the planet to their location. Also, because he didn't really want to travel with some sallow hag.

"Alright… Let's do this, then," Percy muttered, reaching up and ripping open a hole in the fabric of reality. He grabbed hold of Ashley's small hand, and together, they stepped through onto the Earth.


Man and child appeared in a forest clearing. It was quiet, but not silent. There were birds chirping and insects buzzing. A light breeze was blowing through the leaves and the grass. Off in the distance, Percy could sense a river, due to his father's power. The sun blazed brightly directly overhead, indicating that it was afternoon. A cloud cover lay suspended in the sky some miles to the west, warning of an impending storm.

"Wow…" Ashley murmured in a child-like voice. Her yellow eyes ran all over the area, taking in everything and nothing at the same time. She was so enraptured with the sheer amount of colors and shades that she didn't even examine the actual things.

"Everything is so… Bright…" she said quietly, tightening her grip on Percy's hand. She looked up at him. "Is it normally like this?"

The man, who had just put his mask on, nodded. "Alright, guess we should start this off; what do you wanna know first?" Percy asked the girl. Her eyes shined with unbound curiosity, and she began hopping up and down.

"What's that!? And that, and that, and that!?" she shouted, pointing at things scattered about the forest clearing.

Percy sighed, having a feeling he would get sick of this soon.


Surprisingly, it took a lot longer than he thought. He had ended up talking Ashley through most of the inhabitants of the forest, but when she saw the lake, he died a little inside. There was just so much she didn't know about!

"Let's take a break, 'kay? It's been a few hours, and I'm getting kinda tired," Percy told Ashley. She stopped hopping around like a drugged-up rabbit, considering his words. She finally nodded solemnly, lower lip pushing out into an adorable pout.

Percy couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face, and he reached out to ruffle the girl's hair, something she had yet to get tired of. He hoped she never would.

"How about this; I'm tired, but I do know some people who can probably pick up where I left off. You up for it?"

Ashley's mood did a complete one-eighty, and her pout morphed into a ridiculously big grin. She nodded so fast that her hair became a black blur, and obscured most of her face.

Alright then," Percy said, chuckling. He reached down and picked the kid up by the back of her shirt, causing her to shriek, then sat her on his shoulders. She grabbed onto his head, yanking his hair for dear life. Ignoring the screaming child on his head, Percy used his free hand to rip open a portal. He stepped through the instant it stabilized, halfway across the world. The forest he took Ashley to had been somewhere in Asia, though his inability to pay attention in high school geography was biting him in the ass now, since he didn't know the exact location.

Now the two were in the good ol' U.S of A, in another forest somewhere in Nevada. He didn't want to give the girl a heart attack by dropping them in the middle of a busy city, like the Big Apple. Gods knows just how many questions she would ask. The trees were somewhat familiar to the new inhabitant of Gaia, and would hopefully not cause her any distress.

Of course, the oaks here in America were different from the walnut trees of Asia, but they were close enough that Ashley didn't ask about the difference. That, or she simply didn't notice. She was oddly quiet, Percy noted. He looked up a little bit, only to find that she was still. In the silence of the dark forest, when the prey had burrowed away and the predators came out to play, he could easily hear the sound of her even breathing. It seemed she had fallen asleep. Apparently, the necklace from the Fates had done more than just made Akhyls look like a child.

A small chuckle rang out from the man, the sound distorted by the demonic properties of his mask.

It was actually a good thing Ashley had knocked out when she did, because he didn't particularly want to expose her to the slightly evil side of the silver figures surrounding him, illuminated slightly by the moonlight.

"Been a while, huh, Artemis?"

"It has been indeed, Ghost. Six months, by my count," Artemis replied, though she didn't lower the bow she had aimed at his chest. Her silver eyes were narrowed to slits, watching him for any sign of hostility.

"For real? Damn, feels like so much longer…" the masked man muttered, but his voice echoed through the silent forest clearing. "Anyways, six months isn't that bad for you or your immortal girl scouts, is it? After all, you're, ya know, immortal."

"No, I suppose not. I am simply curious as to what you have been up to with that much free time."

Ghost raised a hidden eyebrow at how cold Artemis was being. Also from the fact that she was aiming a weapon at him, but that was deemed slightly less important. Had something happened during his vacation? Did she get tired of playing nice? "Oh, a little bit of this and that- you know how it goes," he answered vaguely.

"No, I'm not sure I do. Care to enlighten me? Perhaps you can start with why you are carrying around a young maiden."

"Is that what this is about?" Ghost asked, gesturing to all the Hunters surrounding him. He got no answer, and sighed in annoyance. "Well, I don't really feel like explaining that. I will tell you that I didn't kidnap her or anything, so there's no need to go ballistic on me."

"I will be the judge of that," Artemis hissed, and Ghost tensed up a bit. He had figured that he could have gotten some help from the Hunters in showing Ashley around Gaia, but was no longer quite sure if that was a good idea. Thank god she was still asleep.

"Listen, I don't know what happened while I was gone, but you need to calm the fuck down. Like, seriously. Why the hell are you so angry in the first place?" Ghost asked, no longer seeing the need to be passive. If shit was about to go down, then he would handle it the best way he knew how; swear at it a lot.

Artemis was silent for a moment, before she lowered her bow. A simple hand gesture had her handmaidens doing the same, while a few more sent them on their way. They seemed confused by the dismissal, but still listened obediently. Once Artemis was pleased by their distance, she came forward.

Ghost eyed her warily, ready to slip into a shadow at a moment's notice. Ashley would probably be fine; Nyx was her mother, giving her a limited affinity for the darkness.

"I am calm now, so explain!" Artemis barked, and Ghost rolled his eyes.

"You most definitely are not, so I think I'll keep quiet for now."

"You-!" Artemis began, but Ghost cut her off.

"Hey, Artemis, how long has it been since the Winter Solstice?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Let's see, you were in charge of me for… Three months? And then you said I was gone for another six, so that's nine months, making this September… Yeah, I still have time. Anyways, what were you saying?" Ghost asked, finished with his incredibly random tangent. Artemis' eyebrows were twitching, and she would have probably filled him with enough arrows to make a pincushion jealous if she had her bow… Speaking of which, Ghost wondered where that thing was now. He never saw her stow it away at any point.

"Time for what!?" Artemis shouted, now completely pissed. These days, only Apollo could have set her off like this, so this was a rare sight.

"Business," Ghost replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Anyways, you were saying something about me? Something which was most likely degrading?"

"I was, you-!"

"Actually, hold that thought. You're bein' pretty damn loud, so I'm gonna need you to take the volume from up here-" Ghost held his hand up so it was level with his head, "- To down here." He dropped his hand down to below his knees, crouching a little. "You don't wanna wake the lil' maiden, do ya?" Ghost asked, hooking a thumb at the child whose head was resting on his own.

Artemis had been stunned into silence, both at being interrupted, and at being interrupted for such dumb things. She was no longer able to formulate words, and Ghost took that as her giving up.

"I'm glad you understand," Ghost said, patting the goddess on the head like a dog. Still shocked, Artemis didn't do much other than let out a small keening noise, which Ghost chose to ignore. With that, the masked man brushed past the Moon Goddess, and walked in the general direction that the other Hunters had. He had an empty clearing to search for, a tent to sent up, and a child to put down for bed. No pint-sized feminazi was getting in his way today!

And just like, the great goddess Artemis was left standing in the middle of a moonlit forest, looking like a slack-jawed dumbass. Apollo, if he ever heard of it, would never let her live it down.


Come morning, Percy woke up with a stiff neck. He had slept on the couch, because Ashley was occupying the bed- his bed- and he didn't particularly feel like getting kicked in the face all night by a tossing toddler.

He rose into a sitting position, rubbing at his crusty eyes. A yawn of gargantuan proportions escaped from his mouth, and with a few deft twists, most of the joints in his body cracked. The man heaved a sigh of relief, then slumped forward slightly. Waking up was a slow, but rewarding progress.

Glancing around, Percy took in the sights of his apartment/tent, which he hadn't seen in quite a while. Six months on Gaia, but closer to six years for him. Luckily, his physical age was not yet high enough that he began to slow down, but it was getting there. By his estimation, he was now about twenty-five, give or take a year. Two years in the coma, one year in Tartarus, then another six in that hellhole, starting since he was eighteen. So maybe actually twenty-seven…?

He might have gotten a few centimeters taller, but other than that, nothing really changed, save for the fact that he was now considered in his prime, and everything would just go downhill from here. Percy let out another sigh, though this one was more somber than the last. Thinking about such heavy things put such a dampener on his moods, which is why he tried to avoid exactly that.

Slumping backwards, with his head tilted upwards, Percy stared at the ceiling for a long moment, while he cleared his mind. The silence helped, but distractions were much better. It was like the difference between freshwater and saltwater. Speaking of distractions, one had just entered the room. Percy didn't jump to cover his face, since the sound of a door opening came from behind him, where the bedroom was. True to his belief, a small head popped around the side of the couch, and rested on the armrest next to him.

"Hi," Ashley muttered, eyes barely open. Her dark hair looked like a jungle, half of it sticking up while the rest was tangled beyond restoration. Percy reached out, doing his best to tame the girl's wild hair, smiling softly.

"Sleep well?" he asked her, stroking her head. Ashley nodded slowly, crinkling the fabric of the couch. She reached up and over the armrest with her stubby arms, hands wide open, as if she was trying to grab something. Interpreting the silent plea, Percy picked the girl up and settled her on his lap, where she rested her head against his chest.

"Anything you wanna do today?" Percy asked, poking the girl's tiny forehead. She scrunched up her nose, and tried to swat his finger away.

"Not really," Ashley muttered, chasing after the offending digit. It was an amusing sight, considering how Ashely wasn't fully awake, and therefore unable to actually catch him.

"Alright, how about meeting the Hunters?"

Ashley stopped her game of cat-and-mouse, pondering the offer. "Who are they?"

"Ah, right," Percy mumbled, slightly embarrassed. He had momentarily forgotten that Akhyls didn't really know anything, so why would the Hunters be any different? "Well, you know Artemis, the Olympian Goddess?"

A pause, and a hesitant nod from the bite-sized goddess in his lap.

"Well, they're her handmaidens. She teaches how to hunt, and shoot a bow, and basically how to survive in the wilderness. She also gives them this weird partial-immortality, which keeps them from aging. So, how about it?"

A good portion of that explanation flew over Ashely's head, but she just nodded her head anyways. She could always figure it out later.

"Cool. Well, I've gotta go shower and grab something to eat… That necklace doesn't make you have to use the bathroom, does it?"

"No, I can still use my powers to make myself clean."

Percy heaved a sigh of relief. "Small blessings," he murmured, thanking the Fates profusely in his head. He did not want to have to deal with that. The man transferred the girl from his lap to the couch, and reached for the remote on the coffee table.

"Here," he said, passing it to her, "Press this to turn the TV on, press this to adjust the volume, and these to change the channel. FInd something you like. I'm going to shower." With that, the girl was left in the living room by herself, staring, bewildered, at the object in her hand.


A bloodcurdling scream tore through the apartment, and Percy swore loudly in response. He slammed the shower faucet off, and willed the water off his body. In one swift motion, he grabbed the pair of boxers hung on the towel rack, and slipped them on, before bolting outside the bathroom.

"Ashley!" he shouted, head swiveling rapidly in an attempt to locate the girl. When the quick search yielded no results, he sped forward, and finally caught sight of the child. She was curled up on the couch, her small arms covering her head, which was tucked between her knees. Percy rushed around the seat to crouch in front of the girl, gently prying her arms away from her head.

"Ashley, what's wrong!?" he asked urgently. The girl did not respond verbally. She did, however, point at something behind him with a pudgy finger. Whirling around, Percy was not prepared to see My Little Pony playing quietly on the TV screen.

Confused, Percy stared at the screen for a while, before turning back to the cowering girl. "Ashley…?" he asked slowly, "Are you scared of… Ponies?"

The girl's shivering intensified at the mention of the animal, and Percy died a little inside. He dragged a hand down his face, sighing heavily. "Seriously? Why are you scared of ponies, of all things?"

"They… They look weird!"

"You do know that horses move your mother's chariot, right?" Percy asked bemusedly.

"Yes, but they don't look like that!" Ashley shouted, pointing blindly at the bright ponies on the screen. Percy examined them more closely, trying to think of differences between Nyx's horse constructs and My Little Pony. They looked the same, besides being animated, as well as the obvious size difference, and...

"Are you scared of the color?" Percy asked, going out on a limb. His hunch seemed to be correct, because the trembling girl nodded frantically.

"Ashley, there's nothing to be scared of. Seriously, colors can't actually do anything, and a lot of things on Gaia are colorful. If you're scared of the rainbow, you're not gonna have a good time."

When he received no response, Percy heaved a heavy sigh. "Alright, I'm going to finish my shower, so you're just gonna have to suck it up." There were still suds in his hair, which he couldn't get rid of like the water, and they were starting to make his locks stiff.

"Wa- Wait!" Ashley cried, flailing wildly in an attempt to grab. Unfortunately, with his long legs, Percy was out of her reach in moments.

"Bath time waits for no one!" Percy shouted back, walking into the bathroom. He had hair to wash.


When he came back out to the living room, Percy was not surprised to find Ashley still curled up in a ball, quietly crying. It seemed she had been unable to work up the courage to unfold herself, since My Little Pony was still playing on the TV, though it looked like the episode was winding down.

"Ashley, seriously, you can not cry for a half-hour just because something scares you."

The girl did not reply, instead focusing her efforts on sobbing harder. Percy's head lolled in exasperation, before he finally got sick of her snivelling.

"Alright, enough of that," he said, grabbing the girl by the back of her shirt- which was made of surprisingly strong fabric- and depositing her on his shoulders. Calling upon his black flames, Percy summoned his mask and walked out of his apartment/tent. The little girl's wails transformed into full-on screams, drawing the attention of everything within at least ten miles, which included the Hunters of Artemis. One of whom came to investigate.

"Ah, Thalia! Just the person I wanted to see!" Ghost cried jovially, seemingly ignorant of the ear-piercing shrieks rights next to him. Said Huntress' eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"What-?" she began to ask, only to find a crying child shoved in her face.

"Here, take this," Ghost said casually, depositing Ashley in Thalia's arm. The Daughter of Zeus had no choice but to grab her, or let the child fall.

"What in my Father's name did you do!?" Thalia shouted, which only scared poor Ashley even more.

"Relax, Static Shock, I didn't do anything. Turns out this one," Ghost gestured to the crying girl in her arms, "Is scared of rainbows, and My Little Pony seems to have traumatised her. So, I figured dark colors would comfort her, and who's darker than our resident emo?"

"I'm not-! Ugh, forget it. What do I do?" Thalia asked, remembering why she didn't particularly like the masked man.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Maybe because having kids is kinda against our oaths, so of course we're not gonna be trained in how to handle them?"

"Well, I'm definitely not an ideal caretaker," Ghost replied, and Thalia gritted her teeth in frustration.

"Yes, I can see that."

"Just… Do your thing. Vampires are pretty emo, right? Just 'Twilight' it up, or something."

"Oh, I'll 'Twilight it up' when I rip you to pieces, you little-!"

"Ah ah ah! There are young ears present, Miss Nine-Volt Battery. Try to calm down, or you'll end up with high blood pressure like your dad."

Thalia, sick of the bullshit, took a deep breath to center herself. Once calm, she turned on her heels, heading in the direction of the Hunter's camp.

"Where ya goin'?" Ghost asked.

"To find Lady Artemis. Maybe she can handle this, considering she's the Goddess of Childbirth."

The two walked in silence, before a thought came to Ghost.

"Ya know that childbirth isn't the same as childcare, right?"

Thalia didn't respond, and the two walked in silence for a long while.

"Ya know, for the Lieutenant of an elite group of maidens trained by Artemis herself, you're kinda fuckin' stupid."