Hi. My name's Karli.

My second Pokémon journey through X Universe Kanto has been a lot less exciting than I was hoping. I thought there would be tons of things different from my first one in the '90s and all of you would like to hear about it, but instead, barely anything noteworthy's happened.

At this point, I've gotten almost all the Gym badges and caught a bunch more Pokémon. I've also gotten acquainted with Team Rocket, who...have still done pretty much nothing.

You ready to go, Emolga? It's time for us to step out of this Pokémon Center, walk around a bunch, and hope that something interesting happens.

What a coincidence! I was just talking about Team Rocket, and now here they are. Lynn's fighting Banjo & Kazooie for some reason and Robin's just leaning on a fence and is all like "Girl, this is stupid and you're wasting our time."

Robin: Lynn! I already told you that's not a Pokémon.

Lynn: How would you know? I'm the one who's from this universe.

Robin: Oh, so just because I'm an Animal Crosser, I don't know a Pokémon when I see one?

Ooh! Lynn got distracted and now Banjo's kicking her butt. Man, I wish you could see this fight.

Emolga: Emolga!

Lynn dodges Banjo's punch. She spots a...I forget what they're called. The item in Smash Bros. that's better if you shoot from a long distance. She's firing it at him. Robin's still not liking this.

Emolga: Emolga!

Huh? Oh, you're right. There is a Smash Ball! Looks like Lynn's gonna be the one to get it. Oh, no, I was wrong. Banjo's got it! He uses it and...he misses. But Lynn suddenly has her Final Smash Meter filled! Whoa! I apparently enjoy commentating Smash matches.

Robin: Where's the Pokémon story? I thought we were doing a Pokémon story!

Says the Animal Crossing character!

Robin: We're called Animal Crossers!

Until you show me proof that anyone has ever once called you that, I am not...Oh my Arceus! Look at Lynn's Final Smash! It takes Banjo up to 129% but he narrowly avoids getting KO'd. I really shouldn't say "him" and "Banjo," but it comes to naturally. Sorry, Kazooie. Lynn takes a Poké Ball off her belt, throws it at Banjo-Kazooie, and...it bounces right off of them because they're not a Pokémon! Maybe if Lynn had bothered to try to use her Poké Dex on them first, she would've known that.

The Announcer: TIME! Banjo & Kazooie WIN!

Lynn: Look at you. You think you're so cool just because you can play the banjo?

Oh. I guess I now have to mention that Banjo & Kazooie did the victory animation where they play their instruments.

Lynn: Come on, Robin. Let's get outta here.

Robin: Are you sure? I feel like we're forgetting why we came here. Didn't we want to steal some Pokémon or something?

Emolga: *quotes a line from Teen Titans Go! but in her language*

Lynn: Yeah, that brown and orange one with two heads. But apparently it's not actually a Pokémon, so we wasted our time.

Lynn is angry. Is that coming across?

Robin: No, you didn't know they were here until we got here. That means there must've been some other reason we...

My Arceus! You two are so dull! You had the potential to be a fun duo of antagonists, but the lack of time Anthony had to write this resulted in you both being extremely underdeveloped. Come on, Emolga. Let's go win another Gym battle by using the same move and healing item over and over and over again until the Gym Leader's Pokémon eventually runs out of HP. And once again, the Gym Leader will give me a big speech about how my victory was an amazing accomplishment that demonstrates how much skill and strength I have when it's anything but.

Me, Emolga, and Banjo-Kazooie have all left, leaving Team Rocket on their own.

Lynn: Underdeveloped? Does that mean what I think it means?

Robin: Are you worried she's calling you short?

Lynn: No.


"It was about 5 years ago. I flew into my favorite forest, probably to relax, when I was met with the awful sight of some people planning to chop down the trees. There was nothing I could do, so I knew that I would need some help. So, I went to the Pokémon Center and got one of Anthony's Pokémon out of the PC box. She took care of those mean deforesters like it was nothing! One day, I was crying about something, I can't remember what, and, despite the fact this doesn't sound like her at all, she looked down at me with a sad face, comforted me, and promised that she would protect me. As you know, Arceus made it so she feels the same pain I do whenever I get physically hurt because she has to protect me from everything. Even with our completely opposite personalities, we've been best friends ever since, except for that one time she got amnesia on her birthday. And that's how I met Diancie." Celebi told her dear friends Marshadow and Poipole.

The small house in Vaniville Town with no humans living in it anymore went silent for a moment.

"I have a question." Poipole said with his hand raised.

"Yes, Poipole?"

"Why do you hang out in the forest that requires you to go through the place where it's always snowing when you're weak to Ice instead of the one that's much closer to where we live?"

"...I...have no idea."