Paradox is from Daughter of Time by Sea Pony. I recommend it. Unlike this, it's actually good.

Diancie's group had all come home because it was her birthday (July 19th, Diancie Day) and because they thought Espurr had been defeated for good. See what I mean by this not being good? You can't just completely gloss over the main characters thinking they beat the villain. That's not good writing, that's HORRIBLE writing! It immediately makes readers want to know WHY they think they beat her and you have to tell them how. And yet, here I am not telling you.

On September 8th, 2019, everyone was home except for Emolga and Whatshername. Emolga was still staying in X Universe Kanto because Karli needed her, and Whatshername had been called in by Officer Jenny. Diancie answered the door after hearing a knock. It was a human girl she had never seen before, with blonde hair and a black eye.

?: Hello. My name is Paradox. I'm looking for my mother and friends. Have you seen...?

Paradox cut herself off when she caught a glimpse of Diancie's best friend. The human got excited when she saw the little green Pokémon and ran up to her really fast, giving her a surprise hug. Suddenly being grabbed, and by someone she didn't know, frightened Celebi. The intense fear she felt made her break out of the girl's grip and hide behind both Diancie and Marshadow.

Paradox: Mom, what's wrong?

Celebi: Ma...mom?

Paradox: It's me, Paradox.

Celebi: Miss, I think you're mistaking me for someone else. I'm not anyone's mother.

Hearing Celebi say this got Marshadow thinking about their future. About how he might have kids with her some day. Are you cringing yet? Because I know I am.

Paradox: Oh, I see what's happening. I've come across you some time when you were time traveling before you adopted me. Oh wait, I probably shouldn't say that.

Marshadow: You definitely shouldn't...because it's completely wrong. Celbs here gave up her time travel powers over a year ago.

Paradox: What?! But that would mean that there's more than one Celebi, which there isn't. Well, actually, I have seen another one, but at least that one was a different color.

Poipole: There's plenty more than that. Tell her, Celebi. Tell her the story of how Anthony caught you. In fact, please tell it anyway because you still haven't told it to me and I've heard it's good.

Celebi was hesitant to do as Poipole wanted. But she could tell by the look on Paradox's face that her world view was being changed with the discovery that there's more than one Celebi. She didn't want this innocent girl to feel this way, so she decided to lie.

Celebi: I'm a Ditto.

Paradox: You are?

Celebi: Uh-huh.

Diancie: She's just roleplaying as a Celebi right now. And you had better leaver her alone, or I'm gonna...!

Paradox: I see. But then what was that about giving up time travel a year ago?

Marshadow: Uhhh...I meant one in-game year.

Paradox: In-game year?

Marshadow: Yeah, we're all roleplaying. I'm pretending to be a...uhh...

Poipole: A shiny Poipole. I'm roleplaying as a regular purple one. Marshadow is a Zoroark in disguise. So, is it true that your mom is a Celebi?

Paradox: Indeed. She adopted me when I was abandoned by my biological mother as a baby. She raised me in Ilex Forest among many other Pokémon, which is why I can talk to them.

Poipole: Oh. I figured you just took a translation pill.

Paradox: I don't know what those are.

Paradox walked up slowly to Celebi and looked at her closely, which scared the Psychic/Grass mythical.

Diancie: She already said she's not your mom!

Paradox: I know, I know. I just wanted to get a closer look. And now that I have, I can see the differences between her and my mother. I'm surprised I didn't see them before. Maybe it was because of this black eye.

Diancie: What are you talking about? Every Celebi looks exactly the same unless it's a Shiny. That's true for pretty much every kind of Pokémon.

Paradox: You're really ignorant if you actually believe that.

Diancie: Okay. You need to leave my house immediately.

Paradox: I'm still looking for my friends. Would any of you like to...?

Diancie: I said "OUT!"

Diancie pushed Paradox outside and slammed the door.

Paradox: So impolite. And not once did she say "out."

Paradox tried calling out to her friends as she walked away from the house.

Paradox: Looker! Luna! Where are you?!

Espurr poked her head out of a bush by Diancie's house.

Espurr: Hey, human. I'll bet I know what your problem is. I think you're in the wrong universe.

Paradox: The wrong universe? What on Earth are you talking about?

Espurr: Head on down to Reflection Cave on Route 11. Someone there will explain it to ya'.

Paradox: Umm...Okay.

After Paradox was out of sight, Espurr's older brother Meowstic also came out of the bush. Oh. I should mention that he's not technically her brother. That's due to some super weird lore I've never told anyone about. See, I used to keep my fanfiction to myself and after about 5 whopping years of that is when I decided to share it. I somehow didn't think about how no one wants to jump into something with too much lore like that so late because I was being extremely idiotic.

Meowstic: What exactly is your plan here?

Espurr: She MIGHT end up in the X Universe, which MIGHT somehow lead to Diancie's group going back there, and they'll be out of my way again.

Meowstic: You know they think you're dead? That sounds to me like they're out of your way anyway.

Espurr: STOP IT! This is a completely necessary and foolproof plan! I am not an idiot!

Meowstic: I never said you were an idiot.

Espurr: I know! Don't bother saying it. I know you're gonna say "You are one, but I didn't say it."

Meowstic: I wasn't even thinking about saying that.

Espurr: SILENCE!

Inside the house, Diancie was still at the front door and eagerly staring at it.

Diancie: What is taking her so long?! It's Whatshername's birthday, and absolutely nobody else's, she should just be home already!


Paradox went to Reflection Cave and the first portal she tried was to the X Universe. There is absolutely no freaking reason she would end up in Kanto instead of Kalos, but the plot needs her to be in Kanto and I don't give a barnacle about making it make sense because it's hard to care.

If this is coming off as me complaining about a lack of readers, I promise I'm not. It's just that I don't have enough motivation to make this good. Why am I writing it then, you ask? I wish I knew why!

Paradox was walking past the police station as Whatshername was storming out of it in anger.

Paradox: Oh good, a police officer. You should be able to help me find my...

Whatshername: Not anymore.

Paradox: Huh?

Whatshername: I just got fired! Ya' see, a few months ago I was supposed to arrest Team Rocket when they kidnapped SpongeBob, not run away with him while they weren't in the room. And the reason I'm only now getting fired for it is because Officer Jenny wanted to wait until my birthday to fire me. If that is not the biggest jerk move a person can possibly pull, I don't know what is! Why am I telling you this? I don't even know you!

Paradox: Did you say "Team Rocket?!"

Whatshername: That's right, Team Rocket.

Paradox: I'd be happy to help you defeat them. Where are they?

Whatshername: I don't know.

Whatshername looked to her right and spotted two certain people.

Whatshername: Huh, what do ya' know? There they are.

Robin and Lynn were loitering at the Pokémon Center, which was right next to the police station.

Whatshername: Oh, they think they can just stand in one place like that?! I'll show them just standing in one place!

Whatshername ran over to Team Rocket, with Paradox following shortly after. Paradox was shocked when, instead of using one of her Pokémon, Whatshername just hit Robin over and over with her Splat Roller. Robin was now covered in ink and seemed to be in a lot of pain, but, in a cartoony way, she was able to take it.

Paradox: Whoa! Why are you being so violent?

Whatshername: Where I come from, this is perfectly normal!

Robin: Umm, no. Inklings only use Splat Rollers in Ink Battles, not just randomly beating people up.

Whatshername: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW, ANIMAL CROSSING?!

Robin: Can you please stop hitting me? It's my birthday, so I should get to loiter wherever I want.

Whatshername: By that logic, you can't complain about this since it's my birthday too!

Robin: I didn't say you get to do anything you want when it's your birthday, just loiter wherever you want.

Whatshername hit Robin one more time, which won her that battle. Paradox began to have a battle against Lynn and her Alolan Marowak. Paradox had never seen an Alolan Marowak before, but she could tell it was a Fire type, so she used Splash, her Marill.

Whatshername: I've had enough of stupid X universe Kanto! I'm goin' home!

Whatshername stormed off as Paradox and Lynn's battle went on, for waaaaaaaaay longer than any battle between a Marill and Alolan Marowak would. This is the 2nd least game accurate battle I've ever seen. If you know what happened to Ash in the Kalos league, then you know what battle has first place for that. While the battle continued, Karli stepped out of the Pokémon Center with Emolga. Karli was now wearing a pair of rectangular eyeglasses. That "she" refers to Karli, not Emolga.

Karli: Hi, Robin! Hi, Lynn!

Paradox: Are you with them?!

Karli: No. I'm a good guy.

Paradox: Then please help me battle them.

Karli: Sorry. Can't.

Paradox: And why is that?

Karli: The Pokémon League rules say only one at a time.

Deciding she didn't care about following the Pokémon League rules, Emolga floated up higher into the air and then used Hidden Power on Marowak.

Emolga: EMOL...GAAAAAAAAAA!

This was enough to make him faint. Lynn returned her Pokémon to his ball and then Team Rocket fled away.

Robin: This is not enough to ruin my birthday!

Paradox: We should go after them.

Karli: Nah, it's fine. They'll just be back again anyway. And sis, why did you use a move right after I said what the Pokémon League rules say?

Emolga: I just thought to myself, "What would Diancie do?"

Karli: Then it's technically still not the right thing to do, 'cause Diancie couldn't use an Electric attack like that even if she wanted to.

Paradox: Did you call your Pokémon "Sis?" I've never seen anyone do that except for this one Gym Leader I met.

Karli: Well, she's not my Pokémon, but yes. And yeah, my sister is a Pokémon. I know, it's weird.

Paradox: No, it's not weird at all. I have a relative who's a Pokémon too, my mother.

Karli: Oh, really? What Pokémon?

Paradox: Celebi.

Emolga: What a coincidence! One of my best friends is a Celebi.

Paradox: What?! That can't be! Are you from Kalos?

Emolga: Yeah.

Paradox: Do you live in Vaniville Town?

Emolga: Uh-huh.

Paradox: Then you must mean the Ditto that was pretending to be a Celebi.

Emolga: Uhhh...Okay...then?

Karli: Would you like to have a battle against me, Paradox?

Paradox: How did you know my name?

It was because Karli has read the fanfiction that Paradox is from. Not knowing how she would react to that, Karli had to come up with a lie.

Karli: "Paradox" is slang for "pretty girl."

Paradox: Oh. Thank you then. I'll battle you if it's a quick one. I really should get back to finding my friends.

Karli was able to beat Paradox using just Emolga. She had Dynamaxed, which made Paradox's Pokémon faintable (that's not a word) with just one move. Emolga had to battle Splash in her normal size, but was still able to take the Marill out with a single attack thanks to the type advantage.

Karli: Sorry about making that so hard for you. I didn't mean to. This is the 2nd time Emolga's turned gigantic like that and we have no idea how...

Before Emolga's sister could finish her sentence, all of time across the universe was frozen. I sure would love it if I could've just showed you that instead of telling you because after having to write that sentence, I realize that the "freezing time" trope doesn't work as well in a written form of media than it does in a visual one because putting it in a sentence just makes it sound ridiculous. Am I overreacting? Yes I am. Let's move on.

Time had been frozen by Espurr. Only her and Meowstic were unaffected by the freezing. Oh, they're in X Universe Kanto now. Does this narrator sound like he's supposed to be a parody of narrators? 'Cause he isn't. I just genuinely don't care about giving this any semblance of quality.

Espurr: New plan!

Meowstic: Why are you only now saying that?

Espurr: I'm gonna steal Karli's hat and then Emolga will call the rest of the group over here to look for it!

Meowstic: But your last plan hadn't exactly failed yet. And again, you don't need a plan because they think you're dead. You're being evil just for evil's sake.

Espurr: SHUT UP!

Meowstic: Why am I even here? I feel like I'm here because a lazy comedy writer needs a straight man in the scene he's working on and literally no other reason. Specifically, I feel like that lazy writer has already pointed out the problems his lazy writing is causing instead of actually doing something about them several times and now it's starting to get old, which means it's not at all working anymore, which it never actually was in the first place.

Espurr: What part of "SHUT UP!" do you not understand? I wanna get to the part where I give exposition on how I froze time.

Meowstic: NO ONE CARES!

Espurr: I WAS ABLE TO FREEZE TIME by using this yellow watch, just like the ones seen in the hit 2002 Nickelodeon film Clockstoppers. So, I'm not actually freezing time because that's not what happens in the movie, but whatever. I don't care if the way I worded it is 100% wrong. I've never even seen that stupid movie. I am going to use this thing for this one plot and then throw it away and never acknowledge its existence ever again.

Espurr took Karli's hat right off of her head and ran away with it with Meowstic following behind. When Espurr was far enough away that the others wouldn't see her, she got out of Hyper Time and then threw the watch away.

Karli covered her body with her arms.

Karli: Whoa! Sorry again. I don't know what happened, but I'm naked all of a sudden.

Paradox: You're not naked. I know a lack of clothes when I see one. Your hat is missing though.

The joke is that she feels naked without her hat.

Karli got wide eyes and a dropped jaw. She slowly looked up at the top of her head and saw that what Paradox had just said was true. Then she screamed.

Karli: My hat's gone! We gotta find it!

Paradox: What? Why? What's so important about your hat?

With her hat stolen, Karli couldn't stop hyperventilating, but she was able to keep her cool enough to carry out the conversation.

Karli: There is no particular reason why it's important to me. No backstory or anything like that. I just really like it and can't imagine life without it. I can't even picture myself not wearing it! Will you please help me look for it?!

Paradox: I can't. I'm already looking for...

Karli: You help me find it and I'll tell you how you can find your friends instantly!

Paradox wasn't sure what to make of this. How could someone know how to do that? Could she even trust this person? It had been a really weird day for her, so she decided to just go with it.

Paradox: Okay.

Karli: Okay. There's this person in another universe named Lisa Special who can find other universes and open portals to them like it's nothing. Once we find my hat, I'll tell you how to get to her and she'll be able to help you get back to your universe easy peasy. Just please don't tell her about my involvement in this. I'm pretty sure she hates me.

Paradox: ...What?

Karli: If I can't wear my hat right now, there's no way in heck I'm wearing these stupid glasses!

Karli put her hand on her glasses, but Paradox stopped her before she could take them off.

Paradox: Wait! Don't you need those?

Karli: I usually wear contact lenses. I only started wearing these again to change things up. But I refuse to accept any change while my hat is gone!

Karli took off her glasses. Her sudden drop in vision quality made her put them right back on.

Karli: Never mind. Emolga, we're gonna need to talk to each other during this and this is too serious a situation for us to do that thing where you say your name and then I guess what you were saying and then you confirm my guess was right. So, just take a translation pill. I don't care how much it makes your pee burn!

You understood that thing she said earlier just fine, so that implies she can speak her language and you can...Oh, who cares?


They searched for Karli's hat all day. Paradox was just as uninterested in this as you are. Oh, who am I kidding? That's not even close to possible. Eventually, after a pointless Ganondorf cameo, a portal opened in front of them and Luan Special came out of it with Karli's hat in her hand.

Luan: I believe this is yours.

Karli: Aah! Oh my Arceus, thank you so much!

Luan: Don't call me So Much. My name's Luan.

Karli took the hat from her and put it back on as quickly as possible.

Karli: Wait. You didn't wear it did you?

Luan: I'm not gonna lie, I was tempted to. But I didn't.

Karli: Oh thank goodness! I was worried I just got Luan cooties.

Luan: Yeah, I know how much your hat means to you and that you like to never take it off. I'm the same way about my shoes.

Karli: Really?

Luan: That's right! Anthony took a personality trait that was unique to you and gave it to me. How does that make you feel?

Karli: ...I feel I should be mad about it, but...I'm finding it charming...That's...weird.

Luan: ...Okay. Not the reaction I was expecting. Anyway, I see you got glasses. I got glasses to.

Karli: Really?

Luan: Yep. Look-it!

Luan put on a pair of those glasses that make googly eyes fall out of the lenses. You guys know what I'm talkin' about right? The plastic eyes are on like a little Slinky thing? Whatever. She took 'em off.

Luan: I expect you to ask, so I'll tell you how I found it. Some gray Pokémon I don't know the name of gave it to me and asked me to hide it.

Karli: That must've been Espurr.

Luan: Gosh darn it! I didn't wanna know what it's called!

Karli: Good. I like it when bad things happen to you.

Paradox: Do you two know each other?

Karli: I'd rather not get into it.

Luan: Me either. But for a different reason.

Paradox: Out of curiosity, how'd you resist the temptation to try it on and why are you returning it if Espurr asked you to hide it?

Luan: Because I know it's important to her. I wouldn't want something that's important to me being used in a way I wouldn't like or kept away from me. So even after what Karli did to me at the water park, I couldn't bare to not let her have her hat back.

Karli: Wow, Luan. That's really...

Karli looked into Luan's eyes. She began to feel an emotion that was quite the opposite of the one thinking about Luan usually made her feel. It was an emotion she hadn't felt about any girl in years.

Karli: Wha...wha...wha...Why is this happening?!

Luan: Why is what happening?

Luan looked at the expression on Karli's face. How quickly she had went from happiness to pure distraught was enough for Luan to be able to figure out what was going on.

Luan: Holy guac, are you in love with me?!

Karli: No! No, I can't be! Anthony would never do that to me!

Luan: Yes he would! You know why?! Because he loves me more than you. And now, SO DO YOU!

Karli: Lies!

Luan: You love me!

Karli: NO I DON'T!

Luan: I gotta say, I would've thought you loving me would make things worse, but apparently Anthony's decided to make me think this is great news! You're gonna want to try to be with me, but you know full well what Lisa will do to you if you do and I won't want to be with you anyway, so you're gonna have to stay away. Not getting to be with me, the person you love, is going to drive you insane! I. Love. THIS!

Karli: NO! I just feel like I'm in love with you because I'm grateful for you bringing my hat back.

Luan: Denial's not just a river in Utah!

Luan turned around back to the portal and happily jumped into it.

Luan: This is the greatest day of my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!

Karli: This is the worst birthday ever!

Karli planted her face in the ground and began crying.

Paradox: ...Ummm...I was once in love with somebody that I felt I shouldn't have been. Would you like me to give you some advice, or...would you rather...?

Karli: Rather be alone right now? Yes please.

Paradox: Alright.

Luan leaned out of the portal again a little.

Luan: Hey Paradox, if you wanna get back to your universe, my sister Lisa can help you out with that no problem.

Paradox: That's good to hear. And thank you for calling me pretty.

Luan: Ooh no! What gave you that idea?

Paradox: Karli told me "Paradox" means...

Luan: Well, it doesn't.

Paradox: So you were just calling me that because it's my name? How did you know?

Luan: A very long story that my other sister Wrench won't understand. You have a friend named Luna and my twin is named Luna. I was required to acknowledge that. Come with me. Oh, and sorry if what I said made it sound like I was calling you ugly. I don't know how good or bad looking you are 'cause I'm aroace.

Luan got back out of sight. Paradox looked down at Karli one last time, feeling sorry for her. She then went through the portal and it vanished.

Karli: I changed my mind. I want advice. Emolga?

Emolga: ...Well, I've got one idea. But I guarantee you you're not gonna like it.

Karli: That's okay. For now, I'll take anything. What is it?

Emolga: ...What if you...stopped being a lesbian?

Karli: ...What?

Emolga: ...Well, if you were straight, you couldn't be in love with Luan. Maybe you'd be in love with Lane instead and maybe you wouldn't mind that.

Karli: Yeah, no. I'm not gonna do that.

Emolga: I thought so. Are you mad at me?

Karli: No, it's fine. I was the one who asked for advice. I just need to pick someone who'd be better at it.

Karli went to a payphone and called Sasha.

Sasha: Hello?

Karli: Sasha, it's me and I've got a huuuuge problem.

Sasha: Did you lose your hat?

Karli: ...Well yeah, I did, but we found it. In fact, and I can't believe I'm saying this, this might be an even worse problem.

Sasha: Oh my Arceus, what is it?!

Karli: You know that girl I hate I was telling you about? Luan Special?

Sasha: Yeah.

Karli: Well...I'm in love with her now.

Sasha: What?!

Karli: I don't wanna love her! I wanna keep hating her!

Sasha: Well, uhh...You hated me when you first met me. But you ended up getting a crush on my and thanks to that, I learned that I'm bi. Maybe the same kind of thing could happen with Luan.

Karli: No, you don't understand! Even if I did wanna pursue these feelings of mine, Luan would never have me. She's aroace. And on toppa that, her sister Lisa told me to...She said she never wanted to see my face in their universe again because I...Let's just say I wouldn't leave Luan alone. The way I wouldn't leave her alone now would be much much worse. So, do you have any advice at all?

Sasha: ...I'm not sure. For now, I say wait a day and see if you still feel this way about her tomorrow. Maybe your feelings will go away.

Karli: I sure hope so. Thank you. Good bye.

Sasha and Karli both hung up. Sasha was sitting across from Sashazero at the dining room table in her parents' house.

Sashazero: So what's this card game you're making me play?

Sasha: It is called...

Sasha put a deck of blue trading cards on the table.

Sasha: Pokémon!

Sashazero took the cards and ripped them in half because she hates Pokémon.