So, this chapter took over a month to update, mostly because I forgot to do it. It was last updated on the 24th of May I think, but don't worry. This story will never be discontinued, only complete. If you were waiting a very long time for the next chapter, then here you go!


CHAPTER TWO:

Yugo and Jaroslava were walking up the street of Pewter city, as they tried to find where the mysterious son of a bitch stole Reeka and Sandslash. As they walked, Jaroslava held the upside-down map while Yugo said, "Ok, so where do we go from here?"

Jaroslava dragged his finger around the map, "So we go right, then down, then right, then into a wall, and get killed by Zubats."

Yugo took the map, "Give it to me before is hoot you. Ok, so… no wonder you made no sense, the maps in a fucking foreign langua… wait."

He turned it right side up. "Never mind."

And crumpled it up and threw it into a bush. "The guy probably doesn't even use maps so we just walk around and get bored, get a beer, and find someone. Also, shouldn't we have some kind of Pokémon out?"

"I guess."

Jaroslava sent out his Arcanine, then some blond person jumped out of a bush and asked, "Did someone mention any alcohol?"

Yugo fired a bullet into the guy's head. He then sighed, "Ok, I guess I'll send out… Ghezirha."

Yugo threw his Pokéball and out came a smiling Absol. Jaroslava said, "For some reason hearing Ghezirha reminds me of pudding."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

Ghezirha asked, "Who's he?"

Yugo said, "This is a dick named Jaroslava. Jaroslava, this is my Absol Ghezirha. She's very… attaching."

Ghezirha smiled, "Why?"

"Should I really explain?"

Jaroslava asked, "Attaching? You mean the move Magneton uses?"

"No, as in… um… how can I put it nicely?"

Ghezirha just bluntly put it, "I love Yugo."

"Aaaaand, that's what I didn't want to say."

Jaroslava said, "I'll just ride Dog that's On Fire to wherever Sandslash is."

"Yeeaah, and if you fall off, you're gonna get some nice marks."

"Who said I was going to fall off?"

Jaroslava got on the Arcanine, only for the fire Pokémon to toss Jaroslava off and cause him to slam into a tree. Yugo walked over as Ghezirha followed behind, "As you can see, stupid makes stupid… or in this case walking is better than riding an Arcanine like an idiot."

Jaroslava got up and sent out his Pigeot, "Ok then, I'll ride Energetic Bird That's Annoying!"

He climbed on his Pidgeot, then started to fly away on it. He only got 40 feet in the air before the Pidgeot tossed him off. He crashed into the dirt as Yugo asked, "Does any of your Pokémon like you?"

Jaroslava answered, "No..."

"Oh well, there is just walking, now get your sorry ass up and let's go."

And the two began walking with Jaroslava catching up.

(At Grey's layer)

Grey opened the metal door that lead to the safe where Sandslash and the Lucario are and tossed a Turtwig (who was sucking on a cookie) in the door. He then slammed it shut, then pressed a button that activated the lasers again.

Aleertle was watching the area to make sure no one escaped, but when Grey left the lights started to flicker, but the Charmander didn't notice.

(Meanwhile inside the safe)

Sandslash was using Rock Tomb, Earthquake, Slash, and Focus Punch to try and break down the door, but it didn't even do a scratch or a dent. However, the Turtwig used Solar Beam, Leaf Storm, V-create, and Rock Wreaker. The safe's door then exploded and Aleertle fainted from the blast of all the moves.

After all the commotion ended, Reeka stepped out and ordered, "Alright, let's move it before that ass comes back."

Then Grey slammed the door open and saw all three of the captured Pokémon and Aleertle unconscious on the floor. He panicked and grabbed Aleertle and threw it at the Sandslash, who dodged and made the Charmander hit the wall. Reeka made a bone rush and swacked Grey in the head, throwing him against the wall, and rendering him unconscious.

Everyone now had peace and quiet and could escape, but a Squirtle, a Diglett, a Lugia, a Slowpoke, and a Voltorb bust down the door and started attacking. The only issue was, the Diglett tossed several hellish hand grenades and burrowed out of the room, and before any of the other Pokémon could react, all of the grenades exploded and thus made everyone (but the Diglett) faint.

(At Jaroslava)

He was getting lost by walking around a tree in circles. Yugo, alongside with Ghezirha, looked at him with a confused look as she asked, "Does this guy know what he is doing?"

Yugo answered, "If I gave him 100 dollars and said to go fuck Reeka, he still wouldn't know."

Jaroslava stopped walking in circles and shouted, "I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!"

Suddenly, before anyone could respond, a Growlithe with four tails for hands flew to the two trainers and spat fire all over them. After that it flew back into the sky and was never seen again. Yugo, now burnt to a crisp, mumbled, "If that was Grandpa's fucking creation I swear I'll kill this idiot."

The Growlithe came back and spat burnt toast at Yugo, then flew away. "Damn you."

It came back and ate a tree, then flew away for a third time. "Is there even a story here?"

Ghezirha asked, "Who are you talking to?"

"I... don't know."

Jaroslava joined to conversation, "Can we just go and find Spiky Ball of Sand?"

His Pidgeot went out of its Pokéball and repeatedly pecked its trainer.

Yugo face palmed, "Your Pokémon hate you worse than mine does with me."

Jaroslava sent Pidgeot back into its Pokéball and replied, "Your white-dog-with-horn-thingy doesn't seem to hate you."

"That's... a long story."

"Can I hear it anyway?"

"Alright, fine, basically I found her, I treated her nice, and in the end I find out she kissed me and... you can guess from there."

"You got married?"

Ghezirha gave a happy smile to Yugo as he just had a sweatdrop, "Uhh... no, but with the way it's going... it might happen."

Jaroslava asked, "So your starter is that?"

"Uh, no, it was Reeka."

Then Jaroslava pulled out a book and said, "According to my The Cheap Trainer's Guide to Pokémon, your starter Pokémon would wind up as your highest level and most enjoyed Pokémon, unless your highest level Pokémon is one you like very much. Then this rule doesn't count."

Yugo asked, "And what stupid shit-for-brains wrote that?"

"According to the cover of this book, it was printed by a Gena and a K-01."

"Hmm, I get the feeling their morons."

"But at least this book is useful!"

Suddenly, the Growlithe from before swooped down and stole Jaroslava copy of the book, then flew into the sun. Yugo pulled out his own little 'Dex, "How 'bout we just use the ItalyDex?"

Jaroslava asked, "It looks like my Pokédex, so what's the difference?"

"My grandfather wrote it."

"You sound like that Green person I heard of."

"Who?"

"Oak's grandson."

"You mean Gary?"

"I said Oak's grandson, not a snail."

"No asshole, Gary is Oak's grandson, he's the current professor of his grandfather's lab."

"No, Green's Oak's grandson and runs Viridian City gym."

"What? No, the bastard runs a lab."

"Actually, I got a fame checker so let's see who's right."

Jaroslava pulled out a device from his pocket and pressed a few buttons on it, then it gave the message, "Green is Professor Oak's grandson and is the owner of Viridian City gym."

Yugo went searching, "Two can play at that game."

And showed on his REAL PokéDex: "Gary Oak, current owner of Pallettown Lab. Grandson of Prof. Oak."

Jaroslava took out a portal cube and started pressing buttons on it as he thought it was a phone. Yugo asked, "What is that?"

As Jaroslava kept pressing buttons, he answered, "I think this is my phone."

"Uh, that's a cube, this is a phone."

And pulled out his IPhone.

K-01 came out of the portal cube and took it away, then got teleported back to the lab. Jaroslava searched in his pocket and found his phone, "No wait, this is my phone."

Yugo looked at it and insulted, "It's a fucking rock with buttons drawn on it."

"No it isn't! I can make phone calls on it!"

"Ok, show me."

Jaroslava pressed a few of the 'buttons' and pretended he called someone. Of course, Yugo saw the trick and said, "Very funny, now let's move on because if your Sandslash is with Reeka, two things will happen and one you might not like."

"Like what? They kill each other?"

"I was figuring more like Reeka killed Sandslash… or the two fuck and have an egg, I don't know."

"But they aren't in the old guy place!"

"The what?"

"You know, the place where an old guy holds your Pokémon hostage until you pay a certain amount of money."

"Hold on, you mean a daycare?"

"Yes."

"HA! You don't need a daycare, all you need is the two to be alone for more than five minutes, either you… no wait, you're not gay and that doesn't work like that. Uh… basically, all you need is for them to be alone and to like each other enough, ok?"

"No, from what I've heard is you leave two Pokémon in the old guy place and they multiply and fill all your Pokéballs."

Yugo asked, "Where is this source you're referencing? Because it sounds worse than Grandpa's."

"Some random guy in the old guy place said that."

"Then he's a shitty source."

After the argument over eggs and old people, a random person jumped out of the bush and looked between the two trainers, then yelled, "I challenge you to a battle!"

Silence took hold as Yugo asked, "Which one of us?"

"You."

"U mean F U, rite?"

"Exactly, F U."

Yugo took out his deagle and shot the guy's arms and legs. He reloaded, "Waste of seven bullets."

Jaroslava responded, "I think you just got roasted."

"No, if anything we'd both get roasted… if Rebecca was here."

"Who?"

"Judas's soon to be girlfriend."

"Who?"

"He's a drunken werewolf hunting weirdo from Ireland."

"Who and where?"

"Ireland is a country next to Britain, a werewolf hunter is somebody who gets high and thinks werewolves exist and attempts to kill them, only to find out that they killed their neighbor's dog."

"Okaaaaaay."

"Exactly."

(To Reeka and Sandslash)

As Yugo explained Europe, Reeka and Sandslash were on the floor, finally waking up, saw the mess of burnt metal and bodies that were sleeping. Reeka looked around and ran out the door before they woke up, leaving Sandslash behind. Sandslash used Dig and dug a hole.

Running down the hallway, Reeka kept her pace up until a dusty explosion happened with Sandslash busting through and crossing his arms. Reeka asked, "Can you get out of the way dammit?"

"No, I need to find Jaroslava before he kills your trainer."

"And why is that? Have you seen the times Yugo went ballistic? He nearly killed someone himself."

"Is your trainer a werewolf?"

"A werewhat?"

"A werewolf!"

"What is that?"

"A mythological creature that transforms every full moon, then kills people uncontrollably during that time."

"Are you sure it isn't that demonic Greninja ghost?"

"No, it's a half-human half-wolf."

"And a wolf is a?"

"Think of a Houndoom."

"Please, those aren't bad, all ya do is have a Houndoom fuck a human and you have this werewolf thing of yours."

The Sandslash threw its small arms in the air, "Not that way! You can only be bitten by one, drink water from a wolf's footprints, or inherit it!"

"Ok… and let's just go with it. When exactly is this full moon?"

"I don't know!"

"Well, since that discussion is over, let's just get the hell out of here!"

"Okaaay."

(Meanwhile…)

Yugo and Jaroslava were currently lost and heading into Fuchsia City, and Yugo was having a "great" tour of the place. Mainly it was walking about in circles until they reached a tanned house. Jaroslava suddenly pointed to the building and shouted, "Wait! I know this place! It's the house with fake grass and killer Pokémon for only 500$!"

Yugo asked, "I'm sorry, did you say killer Pokémon?"

"Yes!"

"Why the hell would you want to buy a killer Pokémon?"

"No, you find the killer Pokémon."

"And… why?"

"To catch them and get GHM thingy."

"GHM?"

"The thingy that contains splashy splashy move."

"Fuck?"

"What?"

"Exactly, but why would you want a killer Pokémon? I got Emma, and she might look cute but she's a killer Pokémon with three murders under her belt."

"You found an 'Emma' in this place?"

"No, no, Emma is a Snivy who I got from a Pokécenter."

"What is a Snivy?"

"Here."

He pulled out his 'Dex and showed the picture of a Snivy. Jaroslava asked, "Why does it look like the green thingy I stepped on?"

"You stepped on a Snivy?!"

"No, it was a tiny tree thingy."

"STOP SAYING THINGY ASSHOLE!"

"But I like to say that!"

"Yeah, and I'd like to kick your ass off a cliff into a pen full of hungry Houndooms, but I ain't doing that, am I?"

"I don't think there is a pen full of Tall Black Dogs with Horns and Tails in this place."

"I give the fuck up, where's the drugstore?"

"What's a drugstore?"

"You know, the place you get drugs like aspirin, Tylenol, allergy medication, addictive shit, and rare candies."

"I think I know where a pile of Rare Candies are."

"I need aspirin, rare candies I can get from grandpa."

"What is a 'aspirin'?"

"Medication to get rid of my headache."

"Okaaaaaaaaaay."

And so they went on to a store, which happened to be a Pokémart. Before they went in, Yugo asked Ghezirha, "Anything you need?"

She asked, "Can we have lunch?"

"Eh, depends if the food's good."

And so, the three went in and began their shopping hunt. Yugo went to get food, bitching at what they had available, and Jaroslava bought 65 Paralyze heals, 34 Great Balls, and 1 Pokéball. At the end at the checkout, Yugo had no letting getting food as Jaroslava heaved a huge bag of useless shit.

Yugo asked, "What's with the bag of useless shit?"

Jaroslava answered, "I don't know."

"Mhm, like your head."

And thus they checked out. At the end, because the store did not have any food, Yugo killed a couple of Pidgey's, had Elene cook it, and everyone in Yugo's party ate while Jaroslava kept poking the dead bird. Yugo asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm just poking it to see what happens."

"It's dead stupid, Elene cooked it, now you EAT it. Don't want to insult her."

Elene looked over as Jaroslava poked it a few more times. Yugo slapped himself as the Delphox asked, "Am I that bad?"

Yugo told her, "No, he's a dumbass, you'll never get used to it."

Jaroslava said, "But it's squishy!"

Elene asked, "So you're saying I didn't cook it enough?"

And Jaroslava continued to poke it.

After a confusing lunch, everyone got packed up and this time Keir was let out to go alongside Yugo. Yugo asked Jaroslava, "So, any Pokémon you're having out, or are you letting me be the fucking wall?"

Jaroslava answered, "I don't let my Pokémon out, except for battles."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

And so they… wait, they didn't know where to go. Yugo asked, "So… where do we go from here?"

Jaroslava shrugged, "I still don't know. If Spiky Ball of Sand was here, it would do something."

"Where's the Pokécenter, they probably have a map."

"Uhhhh…"

So they wandered around until they finally found a Pokémon center, and inside next to the PC was a map. Jaroslava pointed to the large red dot on it that read 'Fuchsia City' and stated, "I think we're here."

Yugo looked at him squinted, "No shit Sherlock. So let's see… where do we have to go?"

"Uhhhhhh…"

"God, I didn't think I'd get stuck with Patrick."

"No, I'm smarted then Patrick!"

"Forget it, I'll ask the nurse."

Yugo went up and asked, "Excuse me ma'am, has there been any cases of missing Pokémon before?"

The nurse said, "No."

"Damn."

He grabbed Jaro's neck and dragged him out of the center, "Ok, new plan, start asking random people if there are any Pokémon that disappeared mysteriously."

Suddenly, the person who stole the Pokémon from before came. He asked, "Did anyone say Pokémon?"

"Yeah, did you see any Pokémon disappear randomly?"

"I'm the one who stole your Pokémon from before, remember? I'm here to take the rest."

Yugo pulled his deagle out and shot the guy in the kneecaps, then jumped on him and put the gun to his head, "Then tell me where the fuck they are or else I will blast your brains all over the fucking place!"

Grey told him, "They are at my 145thbase."

"Thanks!"

And Yugo blew his brains all over the street. Yugo said, "Ok, I got the instructions out of his head, let's attempt not to get lost."

Jaroslava replied, "Ok!"

So they traveled to Lavender Town, the city of lavender and ghosts.


I'm going to try and punch out chapters a little faster since I am unable to write my other Pokémon story due to the Word malfunctioning, but once it stops acting up, the story might get slower update speed.

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