A/N: I'm so sorry! Wow...It's taken me almost a year to write a single chapter of sex...and I'm not even posting it now, I haven't finished! I'm still wrapping it up...However, I feel really bad, so here's a short lead up to the next (very LOOONG) post. I completely understand that I will get like...no responses to this chapter, but guilt is a wonderful motivator...in both a fanfiction writer and a certain adorably scruffy Sirius.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lily paced, while James sat down on the couch, trying to puzzle it through. Sirius had explained to them the events of the morning earlier, and it was unlike Remus to hold a grudge if the person was sincerely sorry.
"You were on your knees?" Lily asked for confirmation, brows knitted.
"Yes."
"And you had melted chocolates and had waited for him all night?"
"Yeah," Sirius responded.
"I don't understand. Why wouldn't he – wait. Sirius, I think it's time you told us exactly what you had him tell you."
"I can't! Honestly, I really shouldn't."
"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed, exasperated.
"Alright, alright. He – he said he was in love with me," Sirius admitted in a small voice. Lily looked at him, shocked. James gaped. There was an extensive silence.
"Err, Sirius, mate? Not meaning to point out the obvious or anything, but it kind of would have helped if you had just told us to begin with. And don't werewolves like, mate for life? Not that you guys are going to – I mean, what you do is your own business, but you know – wait, you do like Remus back, don't you?" James stumbled over the pieces of the puzzle that they had just been handed, trying not to offend as he stated his point. Lily suddenly looked at Sirius intently, waiting for his reply.
"Um, I didn't really think of Remus in that way before he, well, you know, but yeah. I do now, I think. Well, I'm pretty sure. I mean – I kinda started to think he was like – you know, attractive and stuff after he told me, you know? And I guess I never really noticed him that much because he was always so quiet, but now that he's gone, there seems to be this great gaping hole in the middle of my life, and that made me think I like him, I guess, because I never felt that way for – you know, the others," Sirius rambled awkwardly, and blushing furiously. Lily smiled rather sadly.
"Did he say how long he liked you for?" Lily asked with a strange expression.
"Um, since 2nd Year, which would make it like..um..4 years?" Sirius hazarded, trying to do the sum in his head.
"And how many girls have you dated in that time?" Lily shot him an arch glare.
"Um...well...counting Daisy and that Patil girl...and Mary..20...32..I don't know.." Sirius muttered, wincing.
"I guess that explains why he won't talk to you, at least. To the point, though, what are you going to do to make it up to him?" Lily asked. Sirius gave the floor beside his feet a hard stare.
"I don't think he's ever going to forgive me," he answered quietly, grimacing, "there was more." He then gave James a painstaking look. James got the message, and shrugged, before heading upstairs to their dorm. Remus was already asleep up there. Lily looked a little surprised, and then grim. A little while after the silence had settled around them, Sirius opened his mouth to begin. Eventually, he closed it again, frowning, before opening it again. Lily was surprised to see Sirius blushing.
"Well, I also asked him...I also asked him...about his...well, you know when guys get err...turned on, well, they think...argh...he told me one of his fantasies," Sirius stumbled, choking on the last word. Lily's jaw dropped.
"Are you serious? You know how Remus would – being the kind of person that he is -and not just – why in the wizarding world...?" Lily paused, face twisting, "Why did you do it? And to Remus, of all people?". Sirius didn't reply, only looking deeply ashamed, casting his gaze away from Lily's distraught face. The becoming-familiar sensation of a lump rising to the back of his throat rocked Sirius, but he made no outward sign of it. He had cried for the first time in many years last night, and wasn't about to let it become a habit.
They spent another six minutes silently in the Common Room, neither of them looking at each other, neither speaking, neither moving from their positions. Lily emitted a long sigh, empathising with Remus's pain, and both feeling sorry for and angry at Sirius. They were perfect for each other; any First Year could see that. And Sirius had created an almost unsurpassable gulf between them.
Having already begun, there would have been no point in continuing to omit the rest. Sirius continued in his more thorough rendition of the events, leaving out the more personal details, while still conveying the meat of it. Lily, already shocked and dismayed beyond all sense of normality, resisted the urge to give Sirius a nasty hex for good measure, and listened to him stonily.
Slowly, the pieces formed, completely pear-shaped, and were rearranged by Lily's mind into a conceivable solution. Yes, that could work. Remus would fall for the bait, if Sirius was the bait, live and squirming. And it would do Sirius good to squirm a little.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SB XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sirius walked tremulously through the next day and a half collecting supplies for Lily's plan, face ashen. The confusion of his mind and nervous acrobatics of his stomach encouraged his mind to shut down altogether. Lily had told him her plan solemnly and earnestly, outlining why she thought it would work. After all, it was up to Sirius to put his neck – and quite a bit more – on the line.
Sirius had been too embarrassed to tell James and Peter, although he imagined that James had gained an inkling from Sirius's reaction. He had grinned wryly at Sirius, a strange quirk of the mouth tempered by the gravity of the situation. He had, however, decided to help them get Remus in a position the spring the trap. He just hoped that they would come out of the experience for the better, and not the worse. Whatever was going to occur, he could tell it was going to be a significant sacrifice for Sirius, who looked like he had just been given the news that he was to be handed over to the care and custody of Argus Filch.
It was early evening, 7:30 on the Saturday, they began the preparations in the dorm. Sirius accepted in all with not a little trepidation, a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX RL XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The rest of the day, and the following day, had been a dreary torrent of pain, a sentiment echoed by the sloshing of the rain and mud outside. The weather had taken a stormy turn for the worse and Remus had been holed up in the school, painfully obviously avoiding his friends; in fact, he avoided all social interaction. He came in hours past curfew, managing deftly to avoid all trouble, and left the Dorm in the early hours before the sun rose. Consumed by a miserable loneliness that he couldn't bear to slake the thirst of, he found himself holed up in a corner of a deserted classroom with a book long enough to last him until he needed to go to bed.
On the second day, a little after dusk, James had located him, most likely with the Marauders Map, and had tried to get him to once more enter into some semblance of life; he suggested he and Remus talk about Quidditch or some other non-Sirius related topic, surprising him by explaining that he wouldn't press his friend back onto that particular topic. Remus haltingly began an awkward speech about the books he's been reading previously, and it was amazing that James hadn't fallen straight asleep, as he would have done not a long time ago. If Remus hadn't been quite as distracted, or in quite so much need of a solid, comforting friendship, and most of all, trust, he would have noted that something was a little bit sneaky straight off the broom handle.
As it was, James managed to slyly cajole Remus into a more relaxed conversation, out of the classroom, up to the suspiciously empty Gryffindor Common room, and further up to the Dorm, before turning back for a 'misplaced item' and locking (but Remus didn't know yet) Remus in the Dorm with Sirius and his trap. He went off down the stairs to find Lily, leaving Remus to do as he would, and hoping to Merlin that he would forgive Sirius.
Remus noticed at once that all of the red curtains on their beds were closed, which would have made him much more suspicious if it had only been his. Looking around, he shrugged and sighed, walking over to his bed, still immersed in the bleak landscape of his inner world.
Frowning, he noticed an unusual small black chest next to his bedside table. Walking toward it, he felt a flash of foreboding as he reached over to open the lid. He placed his hand on the lid, and lifted it up slightly, when he heard an unusual mixture of rustling and the slightest hint of clinking coming from his bed. The lid of the chest fell closed with a dull thump, and drew out his wand, poking at his curtains. A boggart, perhaps? No response was made, and tentatively, he gripped one edge of his curtain.
Keeping his wand aimed at the bed, he threw the curtain wide open – and almost choked on his own intake of air. He felt his knees buckle beneath him.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Just take a guess what he saw, huh? XP
