Episode LIX: May the Most Sarcastic Win

Recap: Our dearly beloved heroes have tumbled underground, where they are surrounded by weird little pieces of popcorn that appear to like sarcasm rather than kindness. It was then that they pieced together everything that had happened to them, and realized that it was, and I quote:

"A CONSPIRACY MADE BY POPCORN!!!!!!"

So, what will happen now? Will Sarah and Billie make up? Or, more accurately, make out? Are the popcorn out to get them? Why do they approve of sarcasm? The next episode is HERE!!!!!!


After this surprising revelation, and Billie's voice had quit echoing, the popcorns' creepy grins widened, revealing tiny, but alarmingly sharp teeth.

Steph stopped pacing, and Jack, who was just getting used to following her, was dragged backward to stand next to her.

"Well, isn't this just great?" demanded Sarah, throwing her arms in the air. She nudged Billie in the ribs.

"Oh, um… yeah," he began uncertainly. "Somebody up there must really love me today."

One of the pieces of popcorn (the one with eye-lashes from here to Mexico) held up a white card, '6.5' written across it in large black letters.

The popcorn leader rolled his eyes. "Oh, I'm sooo scared. A six point five, don't eat me!"

Eye-Lash dropped the '6.5' and held up an '8'.

Sarah glared at the popcorn leader. "This is war," she whispered.

Leader-Pop grinned. "May the most sarcastic win."

"And if they don't?" queried Jack, moving his arms as he spoke, dragging Steph a few steps forward. She glared at him and he smirked. Revenge was sweet.

"Then we'll be forced to show you the way back to the surface," replied Leader-Pop coolly.

Steph frowned. "Hey," she began in protest. Then she gave up on that and took a new line of attack. "That's so sweet of you!"

Leader-Pop scowled at her. Eye-Lash behind him seemed unsure of whether that was sarcastic of just stupid.

After a whispered conference with a few other pieces of popcorn she grudgingly lifted a '7'.

"Whoo hoo!" yelled Steph, lifting her hand to high-five Jack, before remembering he was tied to it. They settled for a triumphant shulder-bump.

"I am not sweet!" screamed Leader-Pop. "I am all powerful and mighty! I am definite in my ways and cruel in my doings!"

Eye-Lash frowned. That wasn't sarcastic; that was true. She bit her lip uncertainly.

"Oh how harsh it is to be King!" shouted Leader-Pop.

The crowd went wild. Or, at least, the popcorn variety of the crowd went wild. Sarah just blinked as Eye-Lash waved a '9.5' in the air.

She could beat this. She lifted the back of her hand to her forehead woefully. "Oh, how difficult it must be, to strut around all day, have all you want, eat all you please, capture whomever you please, take over this planet making the inhabitants go underground and beginning to seek and expand your conquests to Earth. To have entire armies of Dolly Parton Peanuts at your disposal! Yes, life really is nasty to you."

The popcorn crowd let out a collective, "Ooooh." Eye-Lash waved a '10' in the air. Leader-Pop gaped at Sarah. Sarah herself grinned.

"H-h-how did you know?" stammered Leader-Pop, forgetting his sarcasm for the first time.


Oooh, will Sarah have to tell him how she knows? Or will something happen to stop them? Are Steph and Jack friends again? What about Sarah and Billie? Stay tuned for the next brilliant episode to find out!