To Cesar848: With how little Hoda really appeared in "Fear Itself" (and how few interactions she and Aisha really had), one of the draws of this story was giving the two of them more development.
To Lyger 0: I suspect that's correct! An especially with raw meat… But being willing to do that will help her feel welcome.
To Butterfly: Hopefully you'll still feel that way after reading her chapter… And on my profile it's just listed as "Untitled Event." Last year was the "Spring Break Event"; this started off as the next one of those.
To yellow 14: Thanks! They were a fun challenge since they've had so little development before now.
"I know after everything that happened I really shouldn't be complaining now…"
Sabrina hummed pensively and examined Hoda's features carefully. She couldn't quite identify the swirl of emotions emanating from the alien; she and Emilie had discussed the phenomenon at length when they decided to put together this retreat. Sabrina still hadn't forgotten the summer, when she had first encountered a Shunjar and found his emotions to be completely incomprehensible. Emilie had suggested that perhaps they just needed practice since they were unfamiliar with Shunjar minds and emotions. Reaching out and focusing in on what Hoda was feeling, Sabrina sensed that same strange mixture of emotions, but with an undercurrent of something that she could only describe as loneliness. "And yet you feel lonely?" she asked to test the theory.
Hoda's shoulders slumped. "I feel terrible for even thinking it, but… yes," she admitted. Her emotions changed the slightest bit. "I spent a year tied up in a pen like an exotic animal in a zoo, with hardly anyone around except when they were going to abuse me. Father couldn't even come near me for fear that it would provoke Popo or Goota-Lolaa. Now I'm out of that prison, free to interact with people and go wherever I want. But it's not the same. I live with Father, and he is absolutely thrilled with our new living arrangements in New Atlantis. But aside from Father, I'm surrounded by humans. Don't get me wrong: I like you, but… I still miss seeing other Shunjar."
Sabrina nodded sympathetically. "You're a stranger on a strange planet," she noted. "Loneliness is understandable." She chuckled. "Even if you weren't surrounded by aliens, you would still be a stranger here. Being a completely different species just highlights that fact. That you have your father with you is certainly a good thing, but it still doesn't change that there are only the two of you. But let's explore this loneliness a little further: has the Australian Temple-Island accepted you?"
Hoda's lips turned down into a frown. A spurt of something that felt a little like anger shot through her before disappearing. "The members of my team have all welcomed me," she confirmed, nodding slowly. "They were a little hesitant at first, but that faded and now they don't treat me any differently. Walking around the city it's the same story. The odd looks on the street stopped after our first two weeks there – before that I felt like I was living in a zoo again. On some level I think we've been accepted there. But that's the people on the street; the Guardians' Council itself doesn't seem to trust us all that much. Mohamed said he would vouch for us, and he did. They gave us a home and gave us jobs – Father loves what he's doing at the Spaceport; it's exactly what he always wanted to be doing. For me?" She shrugged one shoulder. "It feels like they are just trying to keep us close to watch us."
"Why do you think they don't trust you? Something they said?"
"I'm not sure," Hoda admitted, her forehead knitting together in concentration. "Not anything they've said, but the looks and the way they say it. I couldn't tell at first – it took some time to figure out human expressions. But I look at you and Aisha and Dane, and then I look at Jack and Joanna, and there's a little difference when you talk to me."
Sabrina exhaled and frowned, concentrating on Hoda's tangled-up emotions. "I sense that their lack of trust makes you feel… angry? Frustrated? Sad?"
Hoda's eyes narrowed. "Well… yes. To all of it, I think." She hesitated. "I just wish I knew why they don't trust me. Is it because I'm not human?"
Sabrina shrugged sadly. "I don't know. I can't really speak for them," she began, "but I can speak for myself and the Heroes of Paris. A couple months ago we met another Shunjar in Paris. He offered us help in exchange for helping him return home. Instead, he tried to use us to summon a Shunjar warship in the system that would potentially have started an invasion. In the process of stopping him, Max got hurt. I'm afraid that soured some of my friends on the idea of trusting non-humans, and that may have carried over to the other Guardian groups after we explained to them what had happened. Although you aren't the only non-human we know – or even the only non-human hero."
A growl emanated from Hoda's throat. "So you mean your people don't like me because of another Shunjar? Who was this?"
Sabrina held up a hand in a placating gesture. "I'm not saying that anyone dislikes you; I'm saying they might mistrust you because of him. He told us to call him 'Hugo'."
"'Hugo'…" repeated Hoda slowly, tapping her mouth. "That sounds like our captain's name. He was much more of a hardliner than most of the others on the ship were. When we left, he was far more excited about the prospect of conflict and glory than anyone else. But his enthusiasm was rather infectious – there were a few others who were also pretty gung-ho about fighting." She sighed, her shoulders slumping. "I guess a part of me can understand your reluctance if he was the first Shunjar you ever met." Her emotions shifted again, returning to anger. "But all the same, it still hurts to be prejudged based on what he did, rather than being accepted for who I am."
Sabrina nodded. "That must be difficult: you are so different from everyone else at the Australian Temple-Island, and it's impossible not to be recognized. And unlike our other non-human friend, you can't even hide that fact. And then for them to be suspicious of you for no other reason than your species…"
"I had hoped this would be an opportunity to prove myself, that it might even be a fresh start after what happened when we first arrived," Hoda said sadly. "But instead I'm fighting against a preconceived notion of what a Shunjar is." She let out a breath, her emotions coming into conflict. "And I'm not even sure if I'm doing the right thing."
"What do you mean?"
"I feel conflicted," Hoda admitted, her emotions turning sad. "When I joined the Navy, I swore an oath of loyalty to the Empire. But now I find myself not just living on but even serving a different planet. What happens when those two loyalties come into conflict?"
"Do you think they will?"
Hoda shrugged. "I don't know. I hope they don't. I don't want my new human friends to be dragged into a war they – you – don't want. After everything Aisha went through, I don't want her to go through something like that. And Dane and Boaz and Abdi would all have to fight them. There's no question: people I know would get hurt on both sides if that happened. That's not what I want."
Sabrina smiled. "That is not something I want to see, either. Do you think war is what would happen if humans and Shunjar met? It didn't happen with you and your father." Hoda raised an eyebrow dubiously. "Or at least not after Chloe and the others stopped the monster who had been trying to hurt you…" Sabrina amended, heat rising her cheeks. Nooroo looked over at her from his position on a bookcase and pantomimed taking a deep breath. Sabrina inhaled slowly and allowed her embarrassment to dissipate, refocusing her attention on Hoda.
"I was just a cadet," replied Hoda, scoffing. "I want to think humans and Shunjar could coexist without fighting. But my people have a pretty strict 'for or against us' mindset these days – we have to, considering how long we've been at war."
"We're not at war with the Shunjar, though," Sabrina pointed out.
Hoda nodded slowly. "That's true."
Sabrina let out a breath. "Your position now isn't really that of a soldier – we don't expect you to fight anyone or conquer anywhere or anything like that. That's not what we do. We help people and protect the innocent – whatever form that takes."
Hoda hummed. "I suppose that isn't so bad," she acknowledged. "I do want to help people. Especially after your people freed me from that monster and gave me a home."
"I believe you," Sabrina told her. "And I am glad that you have this opportunity to give back!" She paused, sighed heavily. "So tell me about Popo."
Hoda's anger spiked. "What's to tell?" she retorted, her voice rising in volume. "He shoved me in a cage, threw food at me, and treated me like an animal. He never raised his own hand to hurt me – oh, no, he would use his minions for that. Goota-Lolaa seemed to enjoy it a whole lot more than any of the others. Before I caught on and stopped giving him any reaction, he had already figured out where all the most painful places were to hit me – I still have the scars. Then Popo made Cadaabta Ey whip me until my back was raw. After the fact, Abdi said it was only because he was trying to protect Aisha, but every so often I still think about it and wonder. I wanted to rip his head off when he freed me."
"I imagine it was dehumanizing," Sabrina observed.
"De… human… izing," Hoda deadpanned.
Sabrina grimaced. "Perhaps not the right word for it. I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm still unpracticed at interacting with non-humans."
Hoda chuckled. "It did make me question how civilized this planet actually was," she admitted.
"You're not the only one who questions that!" Sabrina noted wryly. She hummed contemplatively. "Anyone would be angry under those circumstances."
"The only bright spot to the whole experience was Aisha."
"You were close?"
Hoda snorted. "Not really – or at least not at first," she replied, shaking her head. "Aisha was just another human face in a sea of human faces, and I saw more than enough of those, and all of them looked at me like I was nothing more than a mildly-interesting insect. But then Aisha started sneaking over to visit me during the day when the rest of the camp was busy doing something else and bringing me a little extra food. She never stayed long or said anything at first. But over time she started staying longer. Eventually she worked up the courage to speak to me, and that's when we started to become… friends."
"I can imagine that was a shock."
"By then I had started to wonder if all humans were like Popo: ruthless, cruel, willing to hurt other sentient beings just for their own amusement." Hoda let out a heavy breath. "Of course, considering what he was doing to her, she couldn't give me all that much hope that there were better humans out there: the one good human I had met was herself being abused by a cruel human. But then I find out that Popo wasn't even a human…"
"So even before Abdi and Chloe and the rest actually rescued you from Popo, it sounds like Aisha was your first example of human compassion," Sabrina observed. "From the way you talk about her, she had a profound impact on you."
Hoda nodded. "She's the first actual friend I made on this planet – or even really since I joined the Navy. She's the only reason I could forgive Abdi for hurting me – even though it was on Popo's orders."
"It's amazing ad powerful that you were able to forgive Abdi, even after he was one of those who hurt you," Sabrina told her. "Being able to forgive him is a very good step on the path to recovery!"
AN: Given that tomorrow is Valentine's Day, I'm going to take a day off from here and instead publish a "Life and Times" one-shot with more of a Valentine's Day feel to it… even though it's still November in-universe. "Group Therapy" will continue on Monday.
