This chapter is a bit shorter, but I felt this scene needed to stand alone. Thank you!

Chapter 9

He sat down across from Anna and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. It had been so long, but also not so long ago that he had seen her last. He could remember her that day, sitting in the hospital bed, her eyes red and rimmed from tears. He had much he wanted to say to her; much he hadn't been able to say. But right now, he found all of those words were lost.

"This is nice," Anna finally stated, breaking the ice. "I've never eaten here before."

"It is one of my mum's favorites," John told her. "I always make a reservation when I come and visit."

"That's kind of you," Anna simply replied. While his eyes were on her, he found that she was intentionally not looking at him. Her eyes were on her napkin or the glass of water or his shoulder, never directly on him.

"Well, she enjoys it. I like to make her happy."

"You're a good son." At the word son, there was a slight hitch in Anna's voice. She quickly shook it away, but John had caught it. His thoughts immediately went to their son that they lost. He would be kicking away at Anna's belly now had they not lost him. He swallowed hard.

"How have you been?" John then asked, his worry for her growing. After Mary's explanations of Anna, he was sure she hadn't allowed herself to truly grieve over what they lost.

"Fine," it was quick response. Anna lifted the menu up and began to look over it, clearly avoiding John. He frowned.

"I think about him often. I wish we had given him a name." Anna didn't respond. He could see that her hands had tightened against the menu and that she brought the menu up higher to cover her face. "Anna…."

"I haven't," Anna quipped, her face still hidden. "That was months ago."

His heart ached. Her words didn't hurt him. No, in fact, it made him hurt for her. He knew she was heartbroken over the loss of their son.

He placed his hand on her menu and brought it down slightly so that he could see Anna. She continued to avoid him and tried to tug the menu back. But when he was stronger, she let go, allowing it to remain in his hands.

"I know you miss him, Anna," John now tried. "I know your heart aches with the hole that loss created."

Anna's cheeks pinched in and her brows furrowed with anger.

"You know nothing about me," she seethed.

"I know you loved our baby, Anna," he continued. He knew he was pushing her. And perhaps, he shouldn't. Maybe he should drop it. But he didn't. He kept on as she squirmed and grew redder in the face in front of him. "You loved him. You suffered a loss. A loss that can never be brought back. And it's okay for you to be sad, to be devastated."

"Stop it," Anna said, her eyes still downwards. He saw a lone tear slide down her cheek.

"You would have been a wonderful mother."

"Stop it!" Anna cried this time. Her eyes glanced up, before tears began to stream down her face. "Are you happy now?" She grabbed the napkin that was sitting in her lap and began to wipe under her eyes.

"No," John gently stated. "Of course, I'm not. But you can't hold that pain inside, Anna. It's not healthy. It's best you let it out."

"Oh yeah, who made you the boss of feelings?" Anna bit.

"No one," John calmly replied. "But I can manage my feelings much better than you can. I didn't run away for months and not talk to my best friend."

At that, Anna pursed her lips into a thin line.

"So, you've been talking to Mary? Is this some sort of intervention? Did you actually plan this and we didn't accidently meet up?"

"No," John lightly chuckled. "This was not planned. I didn't even know you were in London. Did Mary?"

"Well, no," Anna quietly said. "She didn't. At least, I don't believe she did."

The table grew silent. Anna continued to sniffle, while she attempted to pull herself back together. But it seemed to be a futile feat. The pain was too much and she had been holding on to it for too long, that it seemed to be overtaking her.

John reached across the table and took her hand within his own, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles repeatedly. She didn't seem to mind. Her eyes closed and she took in several shuddering breaths.

After a few moments, she did calm. She reopened her eyes and met John's. She didn't move her hand and instead, she tightened her grip around his.

"Daniel," she whispered. Her lips twitched and another tear slid down her cheek. "I….I named him Daniel."

John's heart broke and healed in the same breath. His son had a name. Slowly, his lips curled up slightly and he stroked his thumb along her knuckles again.

"It's a beautiful name," he replied. "I love it."

Anna sniffled.

"I really wanted him," she confessed, a low sob leaving her lips. She jerked her hand out from John's, but not in anger. Instead, it was to cover her mouth.

John moved his chair over toward Anna and placed his hand lovingly onto her shoulder. He leaned forward so that if she wanted, she could rest her head on him. She didn't, but she did meet his eyes.

"I wanted him too," John murmured. His hand moved up to cup her cheek. "The ache is so strong some days."

Anna nodded.

"I feel…" She hiccupped. "I feel so lost, John. Like the pain will never go away." Her hand pressed hard against her chest. "I…don't understand."

"I don't either."

With his words, Anna completely broke and her head did fall against his chest. John ignored the prying eyes around them and just brought his arms around her. They may not understand it, but now, hopefully, they would go through it together.

TBC...