I was informed of all that had happened over the past few weeks, starting with my… death. I remembered it a bit, Gon had been slicing at me and then stabbed me in the heart. As Leorio and Kurapika had put it, he had "killed you in cold blood". But that didn't make sense. Why would he kill me, he even had started crying after he stabbed me. Unless…. the possibility of him actually hating me was still there.

"I-I'm sure he didn't actually want to kill me." I said as I drew my finger across the scar on my chest from the knife that killed me.

Leorio tossed me one of his massive button up shirts, "Why else would someone try to kill you then."

I stared at my feet sadly, "It's just… Gon wouldn't do that…. I just feel like he was being controlled… or something."

Suddenly Kalluto caught my arm, his eyes telling me not to pull away, "He was. Illumi used his needles on him."

"Huh? Why?" I asked.

Kurapika raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, why? Doesn't he want Killua to come home?"

Kalluto stared at the ground, "He wanted to make it look like Gon betrayed Killua… but his Nen went all out of whack. He's really depressed right now."

Silence filled the room. Kurapika slapped his hand over his mouth and began to cry, eyes turning scarlet. Leorio started tearing up too, nose running, pulling at his hair. They acted like they had done something awful, something worse than Illumi had.

"W-we should've listened to him!" Kurapika exclaimed.

Through sniffs, Leorio said, "Yeah, we should've."

I felt so confused. All I knew was that they had blamed Gon for purposely killing me, but that's it. I hadn't even seen Gon…. maybe he was with Mito.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Kurapika wiped at his tears, "I told Gon to go away, I forced him to run away into the forest."

"Now he's either dead or captured or still out there, in that dangerous forest." Leorio placed his hand on his mouth in an attempt to muffle his sobs.

"Wh-what…?" I mumbled in disbelief. Why would they do that, they trusted Gon right?

Kalluto's eyes fell on the crying duo and the confused Alluka. "I've finally decided to be honest, to stop hiding this secret."

We all stared at him. He wrung his hands, a guilty look having fallen on his face.

"Gon joined the Phantom Troupe… because of me."

Kurapika gasped, his eyes hurt. Leorio couldn't even say anything, his eyes simply became shaky and his hand quavering. Alluka looked confused, of course she did, she had no clue who they were. For me, it stabbed me in my heart a second time. Just the thought of Gon joining those murderers, the ones who killed Kurapika's clan, made me nauseous. I didn't want to see Gon become a murderer like me, like my family, like anyone we came across in our journeys.

I could just imagine it. That kind, caring friend of mine standing among killers, criminals. A tattoo, somewhere on him. It just broke my heart, ripped it out and crushed it. I didn't even want to think of it. Unless…

Kurapika banged his fist against the wall, "WHY!? How and why did he do it!?" He cried out.

"We can bring him back to us." I said.

Leorio looked at me, "What?"

"Maybe if you apologize and I'm there, he'll come back." I said, "That's why he joined, most likely."

"I told him he wouldn't be abandoned by them." Kalluto said, beginning to cry, "So please don't blame him. He's a child, it's my fault."

I grabbed Kalluto's hand, "You're a kid too, this is no one's fault."

"It's a plan then!" Leorio shouted. "We're bringing Gon back!"

I nodded and Kurapika agreed. Kalluto would care for Alluka and Nanika.

We were ready.