17.

Begin Again

At first, the household had been filled with quiet sadness. Natsuki had explained to Saiyuri that her baby sister had gone to Heaven. And Miyu, Alyssa, and Nao took turns helping out around the house while Natsuki tended to Shizuru.

Shizuru started out with bouts of weepiness. That was understandable enough. Natsuki felt much like crying, herself. They spent a good deal of time just being close to each other. Shizuru would, from time to time, tearfully apologize for her thoughtless words in the hospital, and Natsuki would hold her and remind her that she'd forgiven her.

After a few days, Shizuru's appetite returned. Saiyuri pleading, "Okasan eat?" helped somewhat. Shizuru saw her daughter, sad and confused, and hugged her tenderly.

"Okasan, sad?"

"A little bit, Saiyuri. But seeing you again makes me feel better," Shizuru kissed her forehead.

Nao watched this from where she was quietly folding laundry, and while it pleased her to see Saiyuri and Shizuru interacting, she could still see the pain in Shizuru's eyes, and she started thinking.

"Alyssa, I need to speak to Dr. Kuga," Nao said.

"Do you really think that Mother can help with this situation?" Alyssa asked.

"Yes, but in a very unconventional way," And Nao explained what it was she had in mind.

"Nao, that's…"Alyssa stopped and thought, "Actually, I don't really know if it's insane or inspired."

"Look, Alyssa, three years ago, if you'd told me that I would be friends with Kuga and Fujino, I would have laughed in your face. And possibly tried to skin it off of you, too.

"But here I am. I actually give a damn about those two. And I'm Saiyuri's Auntie. And all three of them are hurting. So, if I can do something about it…"

Alyssa raised her hand, "I understand. I'll arrange a meeting between you and Dr. Kuga."

888888

"Have you seen Nao?" Natsuki asked Shizuru.

"She said that she was going to take a few days off to give us some space," Shizuru said, "She does know what it's like to grieve, after all."

Natsuki gave Shizuru a wry smile, "You'd think that I would know that, too, but when I thought Mom was dead, I didn't really let myself grieve."

Shizuru shared a sad smile with her, "I spoke with the doctor. I wanted to get some answers. Unfortunately, there weren't many to be had. Placental detachment, also known as placental abruption, is rare, and the cause is almost always impossible to determine."

Natsuki ran her hand up and down Shizuru's back, "I think we can both rest assured that it wasn't your fault, Shizuru."

"Can we, though? Maybe it wasn't anything I did. But maybe it was. Or maybe it was my body. Perhaps I'm just not properly built to carry a child to term. Or maybe it was the karma of my many sins. I've taken so many lives, Natsuki. Am I permitted to bring life into the world?"

"You can't think that way, Shizuru," Natsuki embraced her, "We're allowed to have happiness. Look, sometimes, bad things happen. And it's not because of anything you did or didn't do. Look, I used to think that the world was always betraying me. I didn't think I could trust anyone, and I didn't believe in anything. You're the one who taught me that I couldn't live that way. So I'm not going to let you live that way, either.

"I know it hurts. I'm hurting, too. But I have you, and I have Saiyuri, and even if I wish things had turned out differently, I can't ignore the blessings that I do have for want of the blessings we've lost."

Shizuru looked thoughtful, "I know you're right, of course. But there's a large difference between knowing something in one's head, and feeling it in one's heart. And I've never been very good about that sort of thing."

"What we need is to focus on Saiyuri. She needs us right now. Why don't we take her to the park. We need something life-affirming, right now, and there are few things more life affirming than watching our daughter enjoy herself on the playground."

Shizuru gave her a faint lift of her eyebrows, "Well, perhaps one other thing, but Saiyuri is priority one, after all."

888888

"Alyssa told me what it was you wanted to do," Saeko Kuga looked at Nao, her eyes conveying a sense of displeasure, "I'm not going to dismiss the idea outright, but…"

"Your own daughter is hurting, Doctor Kuga," Nao pointed out, pulling her most bored voice, "I want to help. But I can't do much on my own."

"As it happens, I have the fetal remains that they extracted from Fujino," Saeko said coolly, "I wanted to run some tests and make sure that the experiments I'd run had nothing to do with this. Partly because it was important to my research, but also for the decidedly selfish reason that I wanted to show my daughter that I didn't cause this."

"And did you cause it?" Nao asked, a sudden, and Dr. Kuga noted, terrifying gleam in the redhead's eye.

"No. There are no traces of any nanomachines in the tissue, whatsoever."

"Do you know what happened?"

"Unfortunately, no. I'm not an OBGYN. What little I've been able to see on the subject suggests that Fujino either took a blow to the abdomen that she wasn't aware of, or she's simply prone to these sorts of things, in which case, she'd be wise not to try getting pregnant again. She very well could have died, too."

"Yes. The doctor told Natsuki that, as well. Shizuru seems to be missing that part, though. Probably her feelings of guilt."

"I suppose. Given the data Alyssa has given me access to, I could do what you're asking, but what benefit would it be to me?"

"Three things. First, it would probably advance your research on HiME genetics. Second, Alyssa has agreed to double your funding. And third, your daughter and her wife, who are very close friends of mine, are suffering, and this could very well help them."

"And why would you care?"

Nao sighed, "Natsuki Kuga is someone I've hated with every fiber of my being. But she also saved my life a couple of times. I owe her a life. And we're going to give her one."

"Well," Saeko's eyes gleamed, "I can't say I object. Are you absolutely sure you're prepared?"

"Yeah. I am."

"Very well. I need to run some tests on you, and it will take about a month to make the necessary cells. But in the interests of ethics, once things are ready, we ask my daughter and Fujino."

888888

Shizuru and Natsuki stared at Saeko, Nao, and Alyssa, dumbfounded.

Natsuki pinched the bridge of her nose, her eyes closed to ward off the headache she felt coming on.

"You want to do what?"

"We've managed to clone fetal cells from Naomi," Saeko said, "We can resurrect Naomi. All we need is to implant the embryo in a fertile host."

"I volunteered," Nao said, "I owe you both."

"Why not Shizuru?" Natsuki said.

"Her first placental abruption," Saeko said, "We don't know the cause. If she suffered another, it would be too cruel."

"It can't be either of you," Alyssa said, "It's counterintuitive, but since you're both the genetic donors, if either of you receive the embryo, it'll break down or reabsorb. It's something to do with the way Searrs tech handles cloned material. It was a huge obstacle when they were making me. Miyu could explain it in detail. So, we can recreate Naomi, but neither of you can carry her to term.

"But Nao isn't genetically related to any of you. So she can carry Naomi to term. Genetically, she'll be your daughter, but Nao will serve as a surrogate."

Shizuru trembled, "Naomi…can be reborn?"

"Yes."

"But…Is it right?"Shizuru asked, "I mean…Natsuki is right. Saiyuri is as much my daughter as hers. And…"

"Let me put it this way, Fujino," Nao said, "It stopped being important to you that you carried her when you lost her. All you knew was you wanted to see her, to hold her. Yes, Saiyuri is your daughter, too. But Naomi was going to be her precious little sister, and that meant something to all of you. If this can work, I'm willing to do it."

"Nao…" Natsuki looked stunned.

"Natsuki…" Shizuru looked somber, "When I lost Naomi…I thought it was punishment for my myriad sins. But…if it's true we can have her back…I wouldn't care that it wasn't I who carried her to term. Just so long as she was a part of our lives."

Natsuki turned to Nao, "You're sure that you want to do this?"

Nao nodded, "I am."

Natsuki looked thoughtful, "Alright. But no one say anything to Saiyuri. She was devastated when she lost her baby sister the first time, and until she's with us, I don't want to put her through that again."

"That's fair," Nao conceded.

"Nao, thank you. Thank you so much," Shizuru embraced her, then gave her a tender kiss on the forehead.

Saeko Kuga sighed, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You girls are never dull."