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"I'm not sure about this, babe," Erin said warily, standing on the edge of the ice rink in the rented ice skates. Her knuckles were white beneath her gloves as she gripped the barrier, unwilling to separate herself from the only thing keeping her upright.
"You'll be totally fine," Jay promised, holding both his hands out as he stood on the ice. With winter trips to Wisconsin growing up and hockey lessons for a few seasons in middle school, Jay wasn't uncomfortable on the ice. He and Will used to race across a section of the frozen lake that his grandfather would plow, resulting in bruised knees and hands when they inevitably took a spill. "Look, Pipes is doing it." He gestured to the little girl across the ice, who was holding tight to his brother's hand as he guided her across. "You've gotta at least try to keep up with your sister, Er."
Erin wrinkled her nose as Jay chuckled. "C'mon. I'm not going to let you fall," he promised, "You can do it."
"I can't believe I agreed to this," she grumbled, glancing over her boyfriend's shoulder to see her little sister carefully learning to skate across the ice. Jay had hyped up ice skating for Piper after taking her to the Blackhawks game, and when Erin saw the excitement on her sister's face when Jay brought it up on a Saturday afternoon as a fun activity, she couldn't say no.
Erin was a chase-down-an-evading-perp type of girl. She was a sharp-shooting, badass, detective turned federal agent turned desk jockey type girl. She was not, and had never been, an elegant ice skater or ballerina or dancer. It wasn't like there was money for those type of lessons growing up, and Erin had little desire to spin around on frozen water, regardless of how safe it was.
Her boyfriend, on the other hand, she'd learned was Mr. Outdoors. She always knew he was resourceful and had experience hiking and camping growing up, but every new activity he introduced to Piper left Erin more surprised about the man she thought she knew. Jay was effortless on the ice, and demonstrated the motions and balance to both of his girls, using his brother as an example. The Halstead brothers had clearly had some good experience on the ice growing up, whereas Erin felt completely out of her element.
"You wanna try to skate to Jay, munchkin?" Will asked as they stopped about ten feet from the detective. Erin was still clinging to the edge, willing herself to muster up enough willpower to release the barrier and skate toward her boyfriend.
"By myself?" Piper wrinkled her nose, just like Erin always did.
"You can do it, kiddo," Jay promised, holding his hands out in front of him, "Need someone here to show Erin that it's not too scary."
"I'm not scared," Erin huffed, gripping the barrier even tighter when her feet shifted beneath her, "I'm being cautious. And you're literally the most paranoid person I know when it comes to me eating it in public. Why aren't you freaking out about this?"
"Ice skating is safe, babe," he chuckled, "There's no dishwasher to trip over or cyclist to run into."
"The cyclist was the one who hit me," Erin attempted, folding her arms across her chest when Jay laughed again, "Sure, laugh at your klutz of a girlfriend." She quickly unraveled her arms and gripped the barrier again.
"I'm not laughing at you," he assured her. "Look. Piper's going to show you how it's done. C'mere, Pipes," Jay encouraged, gesturing for the little girl to move across the ice toward him, "Will's gonna be right beside you."
Piper looked to Erin and then to Jay before biting down on her lip in determination. She carefully released Will's hand and tottered across the ice. "Great job!" Jay praised, still holding his arms out, "Keep going, kiddo."
The little girl continued before crashing into the detective's legs and holding tight. "I did it!" she said breathlessly, giggling when Jay peppered kisses atop her beanied head in praise.
"Who's the master teacher now, Jay?" Will teased, "I bet I could do a better job of teaching Erin how to ice skate."
"By all means," Jay said, gesturing to his girl, an indignant frown on her lips.
"You're giving up on me already, Halstead?" Erin muttered, "Couldn't handle trying to teach your girlfriend?"
"I'm not giving up on you, I'm switching tactics," Jay retorted, "If my brother can convince Pipes, I'm pretty sure he can convince you." He flashed a grin when she frowned again.
"C'mon, Er," Will said, extending both of his hands to his brother's girlfriend, "I'm better at this than my brother."
"You can do it, Erin," Piper encouraged, holding Jay's hand tightly to keep herself upright on the ice, "It's fun."
Erin took a deep breath as she glided toward Will. "You're doing great, babe," Jay praised, "You're a natural."
"I'm going to fall on my ass," she bemoaned, feeling her legs waver while Will skated backwards, leading Erin to the other side of the rink, "You better not let me go, Halstead."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Will chuckled, "But you're getting the hang of it. You wanna try to skate to Jay like Piper just did?"
Erin glanced to her partner, who was practically dancing across the ice, Piper on his back. "See, that kind of ice skating looks fun. When I don't have to put my feet on the ground," she huffed. Will laughed and shook his head.
"Jay, I'm sending your lady to you," he called. "I'll give you a little push too, it'll help."
"Don't you dare," Erin insisted, letting out a squeak when Will gave her a gentle shove toward the open arms of her boyfriend, "Will!"
"You're doing it!" Piper cheered, clapping her gloved hands after Jay set her back down on the ice, "Keep going!"
"I'm going to fall," Erin warned as she approached Jay and Piper, "I'm going to-Jay!"
In an instant, Jay caught his girl before her bottom hit the ice. "I got you," he promised, pulling her to unsteady feet, "No bruised ass for you today. You did it, babe."
Erin exhaled heavily and leaned against her boyfriend. "Cross it off the list," she murmured, "Of outdoor activities I've tried and won't do again."
"Ice skating can be fun," Jay promised, "Watch." He patted his shoulder, "Climb on."
She wrinkled her brow. "I don't know-"
"Perfectly safe," he confirmed, "Pipes, you wanna get a ride from Will?"
Piper nodded excitedly and squealed when the red-headed Halstead scooped her up. "We're gonna beat Jay and Erin back to the other side of the rink," he said teasingly, "Here we go, munchkin!"
Erin tentatively hopped onto her boyfriend's back and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck after watching Will and Piper speed down the rink. "Hold tight, just like in Wisconsin," he instructed, "We're about to chase down Will and Pipes."
"You should have led with this," Erin giggled as Jay glided across the ice, holding his girl carefully on his back, "This is what I thought ice skating would be like. Not me nanoseconds from falling on my butt every time I try to move."
Jay grinned as he skidded to a stop beside his brother. "Worth the hype?"
She leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Totally."
"One hot chocolate and one americano with an extra shot," Jay said to the barista, holding Piper's hand in his, "You want a scone, kiddo?"
"No thank you," Piper replied, "I already had all the carrots and hummus for an after school snack."
After picking up Piper from school and returning to the district for more desk duty, Jay was in desperate need of another coffee to keep himself awake. His little friend had been up between two and three in the morning with a horrific nightmare, and he had been the one to wake up first. Erin got a last minute assignment and was scrambling at work, and had been so exhausted she hadn't even heard the little girl's cries. When Jay finally crawled back into bed, his partner had been consumed with guilt. He then felt guilty for waking her up, and subsequently nobody in their little family got a good night's sleep. The department-provided coffee in the breakroom wasn't cutting it.
"Okay, well I'm going to get a scone, and then I'll give some to you too, sound good?" He gave a smile to the barista, who passed him the confection in a small paper bag. "Erin always likes to steal some of my scone even when she says she doesn't want any."
Piper giggled. "And then she says 'Halstead, if you really love me, you'd share.'"
"Precisely," Jay said, taking a large bite of the scone while they waited for the drinks, "You want a bite, kiddo?"
She shook her head. "I do have a question for you though."
"Alright, hit me with it," Jay replied, taking another bite of scone, "Let me guess. You wanna know why kids can't have coffee?"
Piper shook her head again. "No, I know it will stunt my growth. What I want to know is why you and Erin aren't married."
Jay's jaw dropped and he inhaled sharply, which inadvertently caused him to start choking on his scone. "Here's the americano and hot chocolate," the barista said, placing the cups on the counter.
"Thank you," he croaked, taking an eager sip of the coffee to clear his throat, scalding his tongue in the process. "Ah."
"Are you okay?" Piper asked worriedly as Jay caught his breath, "You usually gotta wait a few minutes before drinking."
"I'm okay," he rasped, gratefully accepting a cup of water from the barista, "Scone went down the wrong pipe. I'm fine." He took a sip of the water and exhaled. "Sorry about that."
Jay took another breath and met Piper's curious gaze. "So?" she asked, "How come?"
"How come what?" he replied, passing the little girl her hot chocolate, "Careful, it's hot."
"How come you and Erin aren't married?"
He stopped in the middle of the coffee shop and glanced around. This wasn't the conversation he was expecting to have with his girlfriend's nine year old little sister, nor was he expecting to have it at the coffee shop down the street from his workplace. "Let's sit for a bit," he suggested, gesturing to a table in the corner. He knew that he couldn't avoid the conversation, and no part of him wanted to have it in the district surrounded by his coworkers and especially his boss, who happened to be his girlfriend's father figure.
Piper wordlessly followed his lead and sat across from the detective, looking at him expectantly. She watched as Jay drew in another breath. He needed to get it together. "Why do you ask, kiddo?"
"'cause you love each other," Piper said simply, "And that's what people do when they love each other."
Jay let out a breath of relief. He was worried that Erin had mentioned something to Piper, or that his brother had let something slip, or god forbid Ruzek said anything to confuse the little girl. He didn't think Erin would be talking about marriage to Piper, but he wasn't sure.
"I do love Erin," he said with a smile, "And you're right, sometimes, when people love each other, they do get married. And uh, one of these days, I would like to ask your sister to marry me."
Piper beamed. "Good," she said. "We were reading this book in English class about the Civil War, and there was a section about the two characters getting married. That's what made me think of it."
"Ah," Jay nodded, silently thanking whatever higher power had his brother keep his mouth shut, "I see."
"So when are you guys gonna do it?" Piper asked, "Get married?"
Jay nearly choked again as he sipped his coffee. "Uh, well, it takes some planning. I want to wait for the right time to ask, make sure we're both ready and-"
"You're not ready?" Piper wrinkled her brow, "How do you get ready?"
He swallowed. Piper's questions were good ones, save for the fact that she was nine years old and the younger sibling of the love of his life. He didn't want to say anything to worry her, but he also didn't want to lie. "Well, it's more about Erin and me both being ready," he said slowly, "We both love each other a lot. But getting married is a big step, and it's important that we're on the same page about everything."
The little girl frowned. "Are you worried Erin doesn't want to get married?"
"No, no," Jay rushed out, "I mean, kind of. But not really. I know that we're planning to spend the rest of our lives together, but uh, your sister, she can um, scare easily." He let out a breath. "Between just you and me, I was going to ask Erin to marry me a long time ago. Back when we were first together, before we met you."
"Really?" Piper's eyes widened, "How come you didn't?"
"I knew it wasn't the right time," he said, taking a sip of the coffee that finally wasn't scalding, "Erin's been through a lot of tough stuff. Both of you have. But growing up, your uh, biological mom, she had a lot of different men in her life come and go. She got married a few times, and I know, because I know and love Erin, that the marriages she saw when she was younger weren't the good kind."
Piper nodded sadly. "Bunny got married to people that hit Erin."
Jay nodded. He'd heard his girl carefully and painfully recount some of the more horrific experiences of her upbringing. She was never explicit with the details, but Piper's own traumatic growing up allowed her to read between the lines. "And I would never, ever hurt Erin. Or you."
"I know that," Piper said quickly, "You're not like the other guys."
He took another sip of coffee. "Right. But I want to be sensitive to the fact that Erin has some difficult memories associated with marriage. And so, when I ask her, I want it to be the right time. And I want her to be comfortable."
Piper gave a small smile. "'cause you love her."
"Exactly," Jay confirmed, "I love her so much, and I want to do it right. There are a few steps that I gotta take first." He smiled when Piper looked at him curiously. "This first actually, is asking your permission."
"My permission?" Piper pointed to her chest, "You wanted to ask me if you can ask Erin to marry you?"
Jay nodded slowly. "She's your sister. And you are the most important part of Erin's life, and I didn't want to ask her without asking you first."
"You're already staying forever, Jay," Piper informed him, "Right?"
"That's right, but-"
"Of course I want you to marry my sister," she said, wide grin spreading across her lips, "You make Erin the happiest. And she really deserves to get to be happy all the time." The little girl pushed out her chair and hurried around the table to jump into the detective's arms, "You're already a part of our family."
Jay held tightly to the child in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He loved Piper more than words could ever express, and her blessing for him to ask Erin to marry him was absolutely everything. "I love you so much," he whispered into her hair, "And we're going to be together forever, no matter what. The ring is just a bonus."
"There's gonna be a ring?" Piper pulled back as Jay settled her on his knee, "You have one picked out?"
"I do," Jay chuckled, tucking some of her mussed hair behind her ear, "I've had it picked out for a while actually. It was my mom's."
"I bet she's gonna love it," Piper gushed, "You got that step too. What are the other ones?"
He grinned. Piper's excitement was filling him to the brim. "Well, I also wanted to ask Hank's permission. Erin's told me before that asking his permission for things isn't needed but I think deep down, she would appreciate it. And he would too."
Piper nodded and rested her head on Jay's shoulder. "He's gonna say yes. He pretends to be grumpy about you and Erin, but he really just wants her to be happy."
"Yeah?" Jay raised his eyebrows, "You know this?"
She nodded again. "Me and Sergeant Voight talk sometimes. He's kind of like Erin's dad, because he loves her and she used to live with him. And he also really worries about you." Piper patted his chest gently. "When you were really sad, he was really worried. Not just because you live with me and Erin, but because he cares about you. He didn't tell me, but I could tell."
Jay swallowed. At the beginning, he knew that his boss didn't necessarily approve of him and Erin. He got over it somewhat when he helped Erin get back on her feet, and turned a blind eye when they were still partners. But he'd also been the one to encourage Erin to take the job in New York.
Hank was also the person who helped to pull him out when things got bad. It was almost as if he felt guilty for encouraging Erin to move across the country, knowing that she would have wanted to be there for him, if he'd just let her in. And then, after Piper came to live with him, his boss had been incredibly understanding, and even proud, when he watched the two of them bond.
"You uh, think he'd say yes?" Jay asked, "If I asked him?"
Piper smiled. "Yeah. He wouldn't just say yes, he'd say it all grumpy like, but he'd be happy. He said if Erin's happy, he's happy. And that's the most important thing." She gave another smile. "We got that in common."
Jay kissed her forehead and held the child closer. "I think we all do."
"Okay, so you gotta ask Sergeant Voight. Then what?"
"I need to ask Erin," he mused, "But I need the timing to be right. I need to find a place too."
Piper thought for a moment. "I can help you find a place," she said, "We can think about it. 'cause you're not asking her right now."
Jay shook his head. "Right. I want to make sure the timing is right first." He paused. "How about this? You and I can keep thinking about it and then, when we think Erin's ready, you can I can plan together."
"Really?" Piper's eyes widened, "I get to help plan?"
"You know your sister really well," he grinned, "And your planning skills are very much welcome. I want this to be super special for Erin."
Piper nodded in agreement. "You know her the best," she murmured, "But I would love to help. And I'll keep it a secret, so she's surprised."
Jay held the little girl tighter. "Perfect. Thank you, kiddo."
"I love you," Piper whispered, "I'm really glad that one day, you and Erin are gonna get married."
"Hi," Erin murmured as she entered their house, exhaustion deep in her bones. It had been another long day of work, and she hadn't gotten home before Piper's bedtime.
"Hey babe," Jay greeted softly, gesturing to the sleeping child in his arms. Piper had begged to stay up to wait for Erin, and after a valiant effort of attempting to stay awake on the couch, had fallen asleep on Jay's chest. He was in the process of carrying her up to bed when he heard Erin's car pull into their driveway. "Another long day, huh?"
She nodded and dropped her briefcase on the kitchen counter before melting into her boyfriend's side. "Found out that I've been doing the work of two people because nobody told me I needed to hire a deputy," she muttered, "Got someone from downstairs starting on Monday. Just gotta get through two more days of this and then things should get easier."
"You've been working for two people for the past five months?" Jay raised his eyebrows as he rubbed his girlfriend's back, "And nobody said anything?"
"Guess the douchebags who work for me wanted to see how long I could last." Erin yawned and carefully stroked Piper's hair. "Good news is these late nights are going to be a thing of the past."
"I'm glad," he replied, kissing the top of her head, "I have half a mind to go down to your office and pay those bastards a visit."
She snorted and rested her head on his chest. "Maybe on Monday," she replied, "I pulled Diane who helped me with that last project. She's good and she'll help keep the boys in line. Doesn't take any shit."
"Like someone else I know," Jay smiled, "I'm glad you're getting some support there. You've been running yourself ragged."
Erin nodded. "I'm so tired," she said honestly, "Was she waiting up for me?"
Jay gave a sheepish nod. "Tried to convince her to go to bed, but she was pretty determined. Again, like someone else I know." He gave a crooked smile. "Was just taking her up when I heard your car pull in."
"I'm glad I got to see her, even if she is asleep," Erin mused, "She's so cute, all snuggled into your shoulder."
"'s my favorite place to have her," he said honestly, "You right there, Pipes right here. Perfect."
She chuckled lightly. "What are the chances we can forget what those parenting books said about bringing kids to bed with us for the night and having her snuggle with us?" Erin looked up at her boyfriend hopefully, "I just want to be close to my family."
Jay kissed her nose lightly. "If it's what you need, I'll push caution to the wind. She could use a good night's sleep anyway."
He followed his girl up the stairs after double checking that all the doors were locked. Jay couldn't believe that the men Erin worked with allowed her to go nearly five months without telling her that she was able to hire additional support and instead watched her work way too hard for days and weeks on end. It was enough to make his blood boil, but the little girl in his arms was keeping him calm. Plus, it wasn't going to last much longer.
"I want Erin," Piper mumbled into his neck, waking slightly as Jay entered their bedroom, "I wanna wait til she gets home."
"She's home, kiddo," Jay promised, kissing her head gently, "In fact, Erin wants some special snuggles from you tonight, how does that sound?"
Piper lifted her head in search of her sister. "Where is she?"
"Just getting into her pajamas," he assured her, "See?" He pointed to Erin as she emerged from the bathroom, leaving her work clothes in a heap on the bathroom floor.
"Hi Noodle," she whispered, taking a seat on the bed so Jay could pass over the little girl, "How's my favorite sleepy little bug?"
"Missed you," Piper replied softly, sagging heavily against her big sister, "A whole lot."
"I missed you," Erin replied, adjusting the covers over herself and her sister, "Are you okay to snuggle with me and Jay tonight? Special treat since it's been a long week and it's only Wednesday?"
"Mm-hm," she breathed, exhaling heavily when Jay climbed into bed and allowed Erin to settle against him. He reached over his partner to stroke her cheek, and Piper relaxed even further. "I just wanna be with you guys. 'cause then I can sleep."
"We're right here," Jay promised, kissing the crown of Erin's head when she nestled into his shoulder, "We love you."
Jay always slept better beside his girls.
With Erin snuggled into his chest and Piper cuddled into her side, Jay felt a peace so deep he'd honestly never experienced until he met them. Both of his girls slept deeply, unfazed by nightmares or bad dreams. He usually fell asleep pretty quickly whenever they had a sleepover, but instead, Jay lay awake. He watched as Erin's chest rose and fell, how Piper's lips quirked in her dreams, and how the little girl continued to instinctively hold onto her sister, even in sleep.
When he awoke the next morning, his girls still at his side, Jay let out a breath. They'd all benefited from the good night sleep, just like he knew they would. The parenting books all cautioned against sharing the bed with kids, but deep down, Jay knew it was what Piper needed, and to be honest, he needed as well. And so did Erin.
"Are you alright, babe?" Jay asked, wrinkling his brow when Erin emerged from the downstairs bathroom after drinking the coffee he'd prepared, hands on her stomach. His girl was pale and somewhat wobbly, and it was enough to put his overprotective instincts into overdrive. He replaced the coffee pot and frowned when he noted just how off his partner appeared. "You're looking kind of shaky."
"My stomach's been upset," she sighed, reaching for a glass of water, "Too much coffee, I think." Erin offered a smile. "Might have to switch to tea for a bit." She grimaced. "Is uh, Piper upstairs?"
Jay frowned again and ran his hand across her blouse to rest on her torso. "She'll be down in a second." He paused when he felt his girl flinch slightly beneath his touch. "You have been working really hard," he said softly, "Maybe this is your body's way of telling you that you need some rest."
"I've worked harder before," she replied, "I'm fine now. Three cups before leaving the house might be my limit."
He shook his head worriedly and rubbed her stomach gently. "Maybe you should work from home today," he suggested, "Or better yet, take the day off. Go back to sleep for a bit." Jay kissed the top of her head. "I could call in sick and join you."
"Tempting," she said, a small smile playing on her lips as he nuzzled her neck, "But you've got a case, I've got a day full of meetings and Piper's got to get to school somehow."
"You sure?" Jay wrinkled his brow, "I don't want you to go into work sick, babe."
"I'll lay off the coffee," she promised, "And I'll eat something as soon as I get into the office."
"I'm going to hold you to that," he said seriously, "I'm going to call you to make sure you've eaten something. I don't want you to get a headache. Or get grumpy Erin."
Erin wrinkled her nose, and he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "I'm not grumpy, Jay."
"Not now you're not," he teased, "But after a day without any sustenance, you get crabby, not to mention nauseous." He paused and stroked her cheek lightly. "You didn't eat when you came in last night."
Heat rose in Erin's cheeks. Dinner had skipped her mind. "Oops."
"Babe," he said in aspiration, immediately turning to the cupboard, "You've got to eat more regularly, even when you're busy. It's upsetting your stomach, and it's making your boyfriend very concerned."
"My boyfriend is overprotective and paranoid," Erin quipped, accepting the granola bar he passed her, "But he's right. And I'll try to remember to eat during the day." She paused and stroked his chest lightly. "You always made sure I ate when we were partners, didn't you?"
Jay nodded sheepishly. "Did you think there was just a never-ending supply of granola bars in the 300 console?" He threw his hands up dramatically when she widened her eyes. "Babe, I pretty much fell in love with you the day I met you. I wasn't about to let my partner go hungry, not to mention grumpy."
Erin's eyes softened. "I love you," she murmured, tilting her head up to kiss his lips, "Even when I'm grumpy because I haven't eaten."
He kissed her gently. "I'm going to call you at noon to make sure you've had lunch."
Erin let out a sigh after the third to last meeting of her day. It had a long day to say the least, and she still had several more hours and another day until the weekend. She was so glad that Diane was starting on Monday to take some of the workload she'd been shouldered with, and that support couldn't come soon enough. She was exhausted. The granola bar had helped fill her up, but her stomach continued to be upset. When Jay called at noon, she managed some dry toast from their office kitchen just so she could tell her boyfriend she'd eaten something.
"Erin, walk with me to our next meeting," her boss said, tilting his head slightly as he rose for the exit, "I have a few questions."
She nodded and followed him out the door. Ross Bryer was well-respected in the department and was by all accounts, a good boss. He was hands off and allowed her to make the decisions, but also had several other direct reports, so she wasn't always the focus. "Is something wrong?" she asked, raising her eyebrows in anticipation of bad news.
"Not at all," he replied, "I just wanted to know why you've been doing the job of yourself and a deputy since we brought you into this department. Your work is very good, but I'm glad Diane is starting on Monday."
Erin stifled a sigh. "I uh, didn't realize I was able to hire someone. Green and Warner said-"
"Don't listen to those yahoos," he said quickly, "You're good at your job, Erin. Everything has been running smoothly, despite the fact that you've been working an insane amount. I know you took some time a few weeks back to deal with a family matter, but if you need more, do let me know."
"Thank you," she said gratefully, "I appreciate it."
Erin stopped as they entered the conference room, the entire room suddenly tilting on its side. Her stomach rolled, the toast and coffee she'd eaten several hours ago burning her esophagus. "Erin?" he asked, "Are you alright? You've gotten quite pale all of a sudden."
"I-I'm fine. I just needed a minute." She forced a small smile before an intense pain in her stomach caused the room to descend into darkness.
Eeeeeeeek!
