A/N: This was written for the Snape Bang 2020! Big thanks to the modmins at Snape Bang for hosting this fest! This would not be a fic if I hadn't had lots of help. First of all Vino Amore gave me the plot bunny for this one, thank you, my dear! Ravenpufflove, UrsulaHood, and Silver Lioness all spent some time beta'ing this story. Thank you lovelies!
LunaP999 created a gorgeous piece of artwork to go along with this. Find it on her Tumblr lunap999!
If you liked this (or hated it) let me know about it in a review! You can find me on Tumblr at crochetawayhpff or Facebook at Shan Crochetaway. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Arrival
12 October 1977
Severus Snape glowered across the Great Hall at his old friend, Lily Evans. She laughed at something Potter said, no doubt ridiculous. A few years ago, she would have scoffed at him and ignored him.
Not anymore.
Now it seemed as if everything Potter did was funny. Every time Severus looked her way, she was laughing at something he said, or touching him, or leaning into his space. It was infuriating. Not because Severus wanted her, he did, but as a friend. She was his friend. . .or she had been. For years they had been friends, best friends. She'd been his only friend, but now she didn't want anything to do with him. Now she only spent time with Potter and the other Gryffindors. He ignored the way his chest pained at the thought of it. There was nothing to be done about their estrangement. He had tried all of last year and was resigned to living with it now; at least it was their last year at Hogwarts. After a few months, he wouldn't have to see Lily or Potter on a daily basis ever again, and that thought hurt almost as much as watching Lily and Potter flirt did.
He sighed, turning back to his own breakfast, pushing the porridge around the bowl but not actually eating any of it. He should eat, he didn't get nearly enough food over the summer holidays and had lost a full stone and a half. He'd barely started gaining that back when he began to notice how the new Head Boy and Head Girl were practically all over each other. He couldn't help but wonder what had changed. Had it been over the summer while he was dealing with his parent's deaths and fending off the Muggle authorities?
A hollow feeling opened up in his chest at that thought, and his stomach felt like lead; he abruptly pushed his bowl away, unable to eat anymore.
"Alright, Snape?" Mulciber asked from across the table, giving him a sharp look after porridge spilled out the side of his bowl and onto the table.
"Fine," Severus replied. He flicked his wand, cleaning the porridge quickly and gave what he hoped was a reassuring nod. Ignoring Regulus Black's look from further down the table, he stood up. He didn't have to sit here and watch Lily Evans and James Potter canoodle. There were other things he should be doing. More important things. Like searching the Restricted Section now that he had finally gotten a pass from Slughorn. Severus knew that the Potions professor didn't like him very much at all nonetheless Slughorn recognized his skill and was happy to use it as a means to his own ends. Slughorn was just about as Slytherin as they came, the moment Severus offered to take on half the brewing of the hospital wing's potions for the term in exchange for a permanent pass to the Restricted Section Slughorn had taken him up on it. It was a relief and he was a little angry with himself that he hadn't thought of it before this year.
He had always made potions in his spare time. Usually selling them to students on the side. He was cheaper than the apothecary down in Hogsmeade, more discreet than Madam Pomphrey, and produced better quality than about anywhere else. Now, he had just doubled his workload, but he also had access to a different class of potions, one that could finally get him noticed by the Dark Lord. He could have simply gone to Lucius Malfoy for help, however, Severus wanted to stand out to the Dark Lord on his own merits. It wasn't just potions he was skilled in, but the Dark Arts as well. His mother had plenty of those books in his house growing up, and he had always wondered why but hadn't bothered to ever ask. Mostly because his father didn't want to hear any talk of magic of any kind; a lesson Severus had learned very early on.
He slipped into the Restricted Section with barely a glance from their new timid librarian, Madam Pince. At least the Restricted Section was enough to distract him from whatever it was Lily and Potter were up to. Though, truly, all he wanted was his friend back. It was very lonely being a half-blood Slytherin.
22 October 1977
Severus found himself spending almost every waking moment in the Hogwarts library this year. Which really wasn't too different from previous years, but the fact that he could hide away in the Restricted Section for hours at a time meant he was very rarely anywhere else. It had the added benefit of keeping him out of the way of Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew.
Mercifully, he had barely seen the Marauders this year. That is with the notable exception of recognizing their existence at meals and during classes and they had come to an unspoken consensus to leave the Great Hall and classrooms as attack free as possible. He was sure his luck wouldn't hold out indefinitely, and already he had caught Black glaring at him over breakfast the day before. Severus had only rolled his eyes, he had yet to speak to any of them yet this year; there was truly no reason for Black to be glaring other than the simple fact that he just didn't like Severus.
He felt settled in the Restricted Section though, and while the potions books were fascinating, and he had a few ideas for potions to showcase to the Dark Lord already. . . he found himself looking at other books, other disciplines. The book that had caught his eye on this particular day was written in Russian Cyrillic and Severus was pretty sure that the title translated to something like Magic of the Heart. Perhaps there was something in here that he could use to bring Lily back to him. With only a simple translation spell at his disposal translating Russian text into English was tough going. The spell worked better for Germanic and Roman languages, it wasn't great for others, but it was all that he had, all that he could find, really.
If only he could talk to Lily. Just talk to her. He knew he could make her understand, make her forgive him. Maybe they couldn't go back to being the friends that they were, but maybe it would be enough that she would at least acknowledge his presence. These days, she acted like she couldn't see him at all. Like she could just look through him entirely. It was as infuriating as it was heartbreaking.
About halfway through the book, he found what he was looking for: a spell to bring him to his heart's desire. He read the ritual over again. It needed to be performed at an auspicious time of year. Samhain was just days away. . . if he could gather all of the necessary components in time, he could be just days away from having Lily look at him again. Intoxicated by the thought he gripped tightly onto his quill and scribbled down what he needed to do in a hurry. It wasn't much. The biggest issue was that the rite needed to be performed in a fairy circle. He knew there was one in the Forbidden Forest, though he had never been to it himself. Gathering his books quickly, he rushed out of the library and directly into a trap set for him by Potter and his gang.
Bloody hell, he thought upon seeing them lingering outside the door. He didn't have time for this. There were only nine days before Samhain and a lot to be accomplished in that time.
"Where have you been hiding, Snivellus?" Black sneered at him. He was leaning casually against a wall, though his wand was gripped tightly in his hand. His black hair, expertly tousled. The perfect image of a young pure-blood scion. Almost the exact opposite of what Severus was, a poor, orphaned half-blood. His fists clenched at the thought. He'd like to permanently wipe the smirk off Black's face one day.
Severus was instantly on edge and wishing he hadn't tucked his wand away. He had gotten lazy this year. Lazy and distracted with the Restricted Section and he was going to pay for it now. "What do you want?"
"Want? What could we ever want from you?" Potter asked with a laugh. Pettigrew chortled from behind him and Severus glared at the rat-faced boy. He hated all of them, but something about Pettigrew always rubbed him the wrong way. Severus could not put his finger on it but his hair rose at the back of his neck as he sensed the subtle differences in the manner that Pettigrew affected him, there was something off about the boy that he could not put his finger on. Black and Potter were brash and loud but Pettigrew was quiet, sneaky, and suspicious. He despised them all but for different reasons.
"Then let me pass," Severus said through clenched teeth as he hitched his bag higher on his shoulder. He would brush by them, but he was sure the moment his back was turned a hex would be aimed his way.
"It's been a boring year so far," Black said, pushing away from the wall and sauntering toward him. "Don't you think?"
"No," Severus snapped, wondering if he could reach for his wand without getting hexed first. Perhaps if he dove to the side and pulled it out at the same time he could manage it?
"'Course he doesn't," Potter laughed. "He's just happy we've left him alone. But that ends today."
Severus sighed resigned to the hexing he knew was coming his way. Lupin hadn't said anything yet, just leaned against the wall, not watching them.
"I know he's the Head Boy, Lupin, but you are still a Prefect, aren't you? Perhaps you should rein them in a bit," Severus suggested. Lupin's shoulders tensed, but he didn't look their way. Severus narrowed his eyes at him before dodging quickly to his left and pulling his wand.
He was almost quick enough. The moment his wand was in his hand he snapped his shield in place, but it wasn't quite fast enough to stop the stinging hex Potter sent his way. He hissed as his calf began to swell up. At least this week he had been making burn salve for the hospital wing, he had plenty to spare for his own injury.
Severus took off at a run, ignoring the burning sensation in his calf, and tossing a tripping ward behind him as he slid behind a tapestry that led to a secret corridor. The corridor would dump him out right in front of the Slytherin common room. If he could keep ahead of them, he could be safe from them, without any other hexes thrown. Normally, he would stand and fight, but he just had too much to do to be laid up in the hospital wing if things turned especially nasty.
He could hear them behind him: a cry as someone contacted the tripping ward, their feet slapping against the floor of the small corridor. Severus had cast a silencing charm on his feet the moment he had ducked out of sight and ran as fast as he could, hoping to keep ahead of them. Quicker than he remembered, the tapestry guarding the other end of the corridor appeared in front of him and he barreled into it and almost slammed into Regulus Black who was just entering the common room.
Regulus was one of the few Slytherins who didn't look down on him because of his blood status. Perhaps it was because he was talented in other areas, or perhapsRegulus had enough on his hands with his older brother to care about blood status.
"Alright?" Regulus asked. Severus gulped and panted clinging onto the wall as he nodded an affirmative answer and the common room door slid shut just as he spotted the tapestry flinging aside and a furious looking James Potter staring at him.
Severus couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face.
23 October 1977
He needed to find the fairy circle first. Location was everything when performing this kind of magic, and if the fairy circle in the Forbidden Forest wasn't going to work then he needed to know that now. While he still had enough time to hopefully research and find another.
Thus he found himself trooping out to the forest that nearly fully encircled Hogwarts. It was nasty weather, raining and windy, and already darkening, though sunset wasn't for another couple of hours. As the Forbidden Forest was out of bounds for all students, Severus was grateful to the weather for offering some protection from the eyes of onlookers. The restrictions never stopped students before, but with only a few more days before Samhain Severus didn't need to be wasting a single moment by serving detention.
It was bad enough that Potter and Black were now out for his blood. The enraged look on Potter's face when he realized that Severus had gotten away, still had Severus chuckling. Severus gave as good as he got, but he was outnumbered every time. And it wasn't often that he escaped a confrontation with them relatively unscathed. Even if he beat them, which did happen on occasion, there were too many of them for Severus to ever come away totally uninjured.
Following the crude map that a seventh year Ravenclaw had drawn for him, was easier than he expected. He found himself at the fairy circle within thirty minutes of leaving Hogwarts' front doors. At least this had gone well, as nothing else had. He had discovered he didn't have quite enough candles for the rite, so he was either going to have to steal some from someone or dip into his precious savings and buy more. He was more inclined to steal. The elves replenished the candles in the Great Hall on Sunday evenings. He could always sneak in after they had put the new ones out and snag a few completely unnoticed.
As it turned out, candles weren't going to be his only issue. He hadn't come to school prepared to run a full rite with a circle and now there wasn't another Hogsmeade weekend before Samhain. He was going to need to beg a sack of salt from the house-elves in the kitchen as well. And probably purloin a few supplies from Slughorn's stores. Though, the last at least would be the easiest to come by. Slughorn never guarded his stores all that well, and with Severus brewing for the hospital wing, it would be easy for him to take what was needed.
At least, with the fairy circle close by, it shouldn't be too difficult to move everything he needed for the ritual there. He had taken the book from the library, going over the ritual, again and again, to make sure that he was translating it correctly and had all the right components. Ritual magic wasn't something he was very familiar with, so he wanted to make sure that he did it right the first time. He had no idea what the consequences of doing it wrong would be and he was reluctant to find out.
It only took him a few more days to procure the rest of the items necessary for the rite. Now, he just had to wait. . . and avoid Potter and his ilk.
31 October 1977
Samhain dawned bright and cold, though clouds scudded on the horizon.
Classes were always a bit light on feast days. Severus was mildly disappointed that he would be missing the annual Halloween Feast, but the ritual was too important to put off. The next time he could conceivably perform it wouldn't be until the winter solstice, and that was nearly two months away yet. No. Despite missing the feast, Severus was set on this course of action. He had everything he needed; now it was just waiting until classes were over and full-dark reigned over the grounds.
Luckily for Severus, Samhain fell on the night of the new moon making it even easier for him to slip out of the castle unnoticed and veiled by the moonless night. The lunar phase also boded well for the rite. Auspiciousness wasn't something Severus had given much thought to until recent weeks, but now it seemed almost everything was going his way. He had found the rite just days before Samhain, Samhain was a new moon, and the rite didn't call for anything too unusual or difficult to access. For the first time in a long time, Severus felt almost lucky.
His luck seemed to continue when he successfully avoided Potter and Black after Herbology and made it back to the common room unscathed. Now he just had a few hours to wait until the feast began and he could use the distraction of the festivities to sneak off. It wasn't likely that he would be missed at the feast, though Regulus had asked if he planned to attend. He had made a non-committal noise and changed the subject.
Severus left the common room with the rest of his house but peeled off from the group to go to the toilet. He hid in a stall until he was sure the feast had already begun and any stragglers would be in the Great Hall. By the time he made it out to the grounds it was full dark. His cloak wasn't quite warm enough for the chill in the air, but the brisk walk helped keep him warm. The night was clear and cold; the stars shining down didn't create much light for him to navigate by, especially once he was under the canopy of the forest. He moved as quickly and quietly as he could. Tripping over roots the moment he entered the Forbidden Forest had him wishing he could cast a light, but he didn't want to draw any attention to himself. Worse than someone in the castle spotting him, would be if he ran across any of the denizens of the forest.
At last, the fairy circle came into sight and Severus let out a sigh of relief. First thing he had to do was protect the fairy circle and himself by setting some wards. He made quick work of the wards, glad to have them finally snap in place so he could cast a small fire to give him the light he needed to work by, and then it was on to casting his circle in which to work. As he poured the salt, Severus was careful not to get any on the mushrooms and he was just as careful not to step on any of them. Once the circle was cast, he felt relatively safe from anybody or anything intruding on him. Then it was time to light the candles.
Finally, he sat on the ground in the middle of the fairy circle, the candles floating above the mushrooms. He held a pile of dried sage in one hand and eye of newt in the other, for clarity. His heart was thudding loudly in his chest as he mentally went over the words one last time before speaking them out loud.
"Prinyat' moye predlozheniye,
Boginya dushi.
Voz'mi moye predlozheniye,
Bog zhelaniy serdets.
Prinesi mne mir,
Bozhestvo yedinstva.
Primi menya k zhelaniyu moyego istinnogo serdtsa,
Boginya lyubvi i druzhby."
With the last word, he crushed the sage and blew it from his hand. He tossed the eye of newt behind his left shoulder and closed his eyes.
Behind his closed eyelids, he could see the candles flash brightly: once, twice, then they went completely dark. A sharp wind blew through the circle, then nothing. He opened his eyes and only saw darkness around him. Placing a hand on the ground next to where he sat he felt cool stone. Not the grass of the forest floor.
"Hello?" he said. He only heard his words echo around him before they faded away.
Sharp, hot panic coursed through him. What had he done? He stood quickly, turning in a tight circle, but there was only darkness around him. The panic is climbing and threatening to overwhelm him when suddenly bright, white light flashed all around him, blinding him.
When he opened his eyes, it was clear that he was no longer in the void nor was he in the fairy circle, but he was very clearly in a Hogwarts dormitory. There were four beds, all dressed in Gryffindor colors. His heart started to beat fast. It had worked. The ritual actually worked, it brought him to his heart's desire. He turned, hearing a noise behind him, expecting to see Lily standing there.
But it wasn't Lily. His eyes raked, almost frantically over the short girl in front of him. She was in a Hogwarts uniform, though it looked slightly different than the one he was used to. Her tie was in Gryffindor colors, but her face, her hair. . .She looked nothing like Lily. She had bushy, curly brown hair that rested at her shoulders. Lily's hair fell half-way down her back. And Lily was taller than this girl. The girl's dark brown eyes held confusion and her brow was furrowed.
"You're not Lily," he muttered to himself. His fists clenched at his sides almost involuntarily as a wave of anger filled him up. What had gone wrong? He had done the ritual correctly, he knew he had. It even brought him to the Gryffindor dormitory, but this girl wasn't Lily. She wasn't even someone he recognized.
"Lily who?" the girl asked, tilting her head to the side as she studied him. He felt his ears redden when he thought of the shabby cloak he was wearing and his spine straightened under her scrutiny.
"Lily Evans, do you know her?" he asked. Maybe she was a new student? Or a fifth year? Someone he didn't recognize, at any rate. He ignored the fact that there was something off about her uniform.
The girls' eyes widened at the mention of Lily's last name. She knew Lily, but something in her face told Severus that he had done something very, very wrong.
"Who are you?" she asked him. He thought about not telling her, about just leaving, but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
"Severus Snape."
