A/N: Hello everyone before reading this chapter there is a slight trigger warning for themes and allusions to suicidal thoughts

Kevin is standing in Gwen's room staring at the two Tennyson's in disbelief. One of Kevin's hands rubs his face as he thinks.

The two have explained to him what transpired after him and Rook were cast out, but this whole thing seems almost fabricated.

Gwen and Ben are next to each other and share a similar look of determination. They plan to leave and look for Gwen's brother, but Kevin feels something gnawing in the back of his brain that this is a bad idea.

In fact, it's screaming at him in bright red lights, 'bad idea'.

Rook is leaning against the door; he tries to listen for anyone else if they happen to be eavesdropping. Well, he was supposed to be doing that, the conversation happening in the room is engaging him more. Frankly, he's just as confused about the whole event. He does know that he agrees with Kevin, this is probably a bad idea. Most ideas that involved Ben tended to be if he was being honest.

"Kevin please, just tell me where you dropped Ken off and we'll go from there." Gwen pleads.

The room is silent after Gwen says that. Gwen's eyes are bulging as if she shouldn't have said that. Kevin's shoulders are hunched up as he curls into himself a little. Ben and Rook share a look of confusion.

"Excuse me, but what are you referring to?" Rook asks Gwen.

Gwen and Kevin bodies are rigid. They were never truthful about how Gwen truly ended up here in the castle. In fact, the two were forgetful that they had even lied about the situation to begin with. Kevin told them Gwen broke in, he had just left out the parts about Ken. Which at this moment were quite important.

Kevin looks over at Gwen, he sees how important this is to her. Her eyes are rimmed red from crying all night, he can see it. He also knows he's partially to blame for the scenario the group is in right now.

He takes a deep breath and find himself looking anywhere but at his friends as he tells the truth, "When you two were at that fair, her brother broke into the castle. He was looking for the fair, but he attacked me when he saw me... Not that I can really blame him." Kevin explains to them and looks down at his own form.

"Argit used one of his quills to subdue him and I locked him in the dungeons. My plan was to wait for you guys to get back before making any decisions on how to handle him."

"Well that obviously didn't happen!" Ben says exasperated and gestures his hands to Gwen.

Kevin nods, "Gwen showed up looking for him. She offered herself as a replacement, saying that she knew magic and could be useful. So, I agreed to it, without thought really, I just-" Kevin was cut off.

"Magic was the only thing we hadn't tried." Ben says quietly, finishing for him. Kevin was gravely silent and just nodded.

"Kevin, you cannot just let him go without any protocol! Who knows where he went or what he is claiming to have seen here!" Rook's voice cuts in an almost panicked tone.

Before Kevin can open his mouth Ben chimes in, "Kevin I can't believe you would do something that selfish! She's been here for over a month who knows where he could be?!"

"What if he has found the Forever Knights?" Rook adds on.

"Kevin, he could be outing you to the whole kingdom!" Ben's voice is in disbelief.

Rook and Ben start babbling on but it's all mush to Kevin's ears now. It feels like an ocean has swallowed him whole, everyone sounds distant.

He knows he's not underwater, but he wishes he was. He felt like he was drowning, his lungs burning to scream. At least drowning had and ending he thought bitterly. What he was feeling now goes on and on with no end in sight. He knows too well how this ends for him.

He can't hear the gargled noises of their voices anymore, just the overwhelming sensation of knowing his mistakes. He's messed up again. He'll never stop being selfish, it's all he knows how to be. He's crumbling under the weight of his own self-doubt.

He bargained with Gwen to help him, but now he's caused her a mountain of more problems. She'll never forgive him. He's ruined everything. He always ruins everything.

He knew Ben and Rook would be mad, why wouldn't they be? They have every right to. He's probably lost any trust Ben had left in him. He shouldn't have come back; he just knows how to make things worse. He only knows how to destroy things and people. That's what he's always been good at.

No one would miss him if he just never had come back, he should have died underground, then none of this would be happening right now.

"Kevin, hey, look at me."

Kevin feels Gwen before he sees or hears her. He can feel her soft gentle hands on his face. He knows it's Gwen because no one touches him and definitely no one softly holds him like he could break. Only Gwen does. Gwen treats him like glass sometimes, it would make him laugh if his mind wasn't screaming at him.

"Kevin, I know you're in your head right now, but I need you here. Nod to me if you understand that."

Kevin can see her green eyes staring at him, her expression is soft but firm. He nods to her, letting her know he's present again, well, somewhat present.

He still feels just as overwhelmed by his own self-hatred, but he can push it back enough to focus on her.

"Listen, I know it's easy to get stuck in your head, but this isn't about shifting blame right now. It's about finding my brother. I really need you, okay?" Gwen tells him.

Kevin shakes himself out of his episode, he still feels it in the back of his brain, but it's a dull scratch and not howling at him anymore.

He looks away from Gwen and sees Ben and Rook staring at him with a twinge of regret clouding their own faces.

He curses at himself for disassociating in front of everyone, but he can't think about it for too long, or he'll go back into another.

"Sorry." He mumbles and looks back down at Gwen. She's staring intently at him, still holding onto his face gently. She's searching his face for something; he doesn't really know. She finds whatever she's looking for though, because she let's go of him and turns to Ben and Rook.

He immediately misses her warmth.

"We can't undo what's already happened," Gwen's words hang heavy for everyone in the room. "We can try to fix our own mistakes though." she says softly.

The room is silent as everyone looks at one another. They all feel a little lost and hurt. Battered and bruised from their own years leading up to this moment together.

"Where do we start?" Ben asks and looks at his friends.

"We have to find Ken first." Gwen states. Everyone nods in agreement.

"You two can't go out though. Not after Morningstar's disappearance... Who knows what the Forever Knights are planning." Rook explains it to them. "We have to send someone else, someone who is good at finding out information."

"Okay, but who can we trust to do that why we wait here?" Ben asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kevin smirks and looks at his friends, "We send a rat. What else knows a way around dark corners and digs around for scraps?"

"Argit? You want to send out Argit to do this? Can we even trust him?" Rook asks Kevin, his tone hesitant.

"I don't think we have a choice," Kevin pulls open Gwen's door and Argit barrels in, forcefully he falls over into the room. His opossum face smashes into the floor.

"Gah! Ouch! Kev what was that for?!" Argit demands as he rolls over and sits up clutching his nose. "It's not broken is it?"

"It's still ugly as ever Argit, don't worry." Ben replies and rolls his eyes. "Were you listening to us this whole time?" he demands.

"Maybe I was, what are you gonna do about it Tennyson?" Argit bites out aggressively.

"Argit cut it out, we need a favor." Kevin says to him.

"Oh yeah? And what's in it for me huh? I've got no business dealin with whatever weird family drama the Tennyson's have going on." Argit hisses at them.

"We will clear your criminal record." Rook chimes in, smirking at the rodent.

"What?!" Kevin and Ben exclaimed.

"Rook don't you think-" Ben starts but Rook holds his hand up to stop him.

Argit's face is perked up at this, a crooked smile comes over his face. "You'll clear out my record from the system? Really?" he asks Rook, cocking his head to the side and eyeing him suspiciously.

"I would put my Plumbers badge on it." Rook states keeping direct eye contact with Argit.

"You got a deal Rook my boy!" Argit shots himself up off the floor.

"So, I hear you're looking for that bean pole of a brother that was here right? The nerdy one with matching hair like yours Red?" He scurries up to Gwen and looks her up and down.

"Uh, yeah." She agrees with him, hoping it would make him stop looking at her like that.

"I remember him, I'll see what I can dig up." He states and rushes out of the room.

The group left behind all feel a little winded after the encounter.

"So, I guess we wait?" Ben asks, still confused.

"No," Gwen says looking at everyone. "waiting gets us nowhere. We have to do our own work." she says softly.

They all nod in agreement.

Ben and Rook walk out of Gwen's room together, mumbling about getting dinner and probably going to bed after.

Kevin goes to leave too, but Gwen stops him for a moment.

"Does that happen often?" she asks him, her voice doesn't rise above a whisper.

"Not usually around other people." he says truthfully.

She nods in understanding, "I used to do that a lot too. It would help me if someone held me to ground me. At least Ken would do that. Sorry if it was weird, I just, I know what it's like," she pauses and gestures to herself, "to be stuck in your own head you know?"

Kevin's silent for a moment before he responds to her, his tone attempting to be just as soft as hers, "No, it helped me actually. Thanks." Kevin replies, avoiding Gwen's intense gaze.

The two stand in an awkward silence, Kevin finally starts to move towards the door again.

Kevin shuts the door quietly behind him and lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. His face feels warm, and his stomach is twisting in a knot. The overwhelming sensation of dread from earlier is gone for now. The dull thud of it is forgotten in the back of his brain until the next time he ponders too long on it.

He's not fixed, he's not better, he's still a mutated mess of a man who can't quite grasp his own emotional intelligence, but he thinks he can one day. This was the first time, in a very long time, Kevin felt like he was capable of change.