Chapter 23

My mind was only aware that I was hurting, so badly, and there was no way I could move or even open my eyes. I wanted the pain to go away and was so relieved as blackness took over. I don't how long I was unconscious for and there were periods when some lucidity came to me, well enough to know that I was maybe badly injured. It felt like I was being moved, lifted and carried only to be laid down again. The relief that brought relaxed the tenseness and aching in my muscles and I was always glad when I seemed to pass out again. Time passed, though I wasn't too sure how quickly, voices spoke, though I wasn't sure of what was being said. The need for the comfort of the darkness pulled me down, but with that came images.

Most of which involved Ranger in some way. His face from the photographs on my camera and the last time I'd seen him. Then the same feeling of despair that came over me after Tank had said that he wasn't coming back, that he was dead. I think at some stage crying and sobbing became my new companion as it dawned on me that maybe I'd done what I'd set out to do.

I hadn't even considered where I was or who was now with me. To be honest if that man in the suit from Ronteah had me then I didn't care. There was nothing for me to tell him, nothing that I could do to help him, so I was content to let myself drift between memories. The memory that gave me the greatest comfort was seeing Ranger sat in the chair in the corner of my bedroom, watching over me while I slept. Maybe that's what he was doing now, maybe he was waiting for me to join him in the dark world beyond death. As his image moved, I was thinking that maybe that was what was meant to happen. The feel of his hands on my face, him tucking a curl behind my ear felt so familiar, that is until words came through to me, words that seemed so out of place, not within the context of where my mind was.

"How long?"

"I don't know. Her injuries are healing well, and the fever has broken from the infection. Maybe she hit her head harder than we thought"

"Isn't there anything else we can do?"

"No, it's up to her now. She has to find the strength within her to pull herself out"

I felt someone close to me, a breath against my cheek before the soft whisper penetrated my mind.

"Stephanie, you have to wake up"

Why was this happening, why was I being plagued by memories of Ranger and why was he telling me to wake up when staying like this at least gave me a chance to be close to him. Were there tears falling from my eyes, I wasn't sure but the touch against my cheek was reminiscent of how Ranger would wipe them away.

I was sure that I was moving, how I didn't know, but being lifted up caught my breath. I felt a panic start to crawl through me as the idea that Ranger wouldn't be with me anymore, wouldn't be able to find me, grew stronger. Even though I knew my eyes were closed I felt a blinding pain as white heat fell onto them and then I felt the soft caress of the air moving across my face, and the sweet smell of salt engulf my senses. A faint sound that reminded me of the waves at the ocean suddenly came to me, but it was the shock coming from my toes and feet that had me reeling. My toes involuntarily curled at the sensations they seemed to be feeling.

"Open your eyes and look"

I dared myself to force my eyes open and as they focused, the view of deep blue water assaulted them. A look down at my feet and I could see them drifting as small waves washed over them. I wanted to talk and was surprised at hard it was to do, a small, croaking voice came out that seemed detached from being me.

"Where, what?"

"You're safe now Stephanie"

I was trying so hard to focus on the voice behind me, confused at what I was hearing. It wasn't a voice that I recognized, and I felt myself tense up which only caused me to groan with the pain that assaulted my body.

"Stephanie, you've been injured, and you've been ill. You have to fight to get better"

"Why?"

"Don't give up girl"

I turned to look at who was holding me surprised at the face looking back. He was probably a similar age to me and had similar coloring to Ranger, though there was something about his eyes that made me think that maybe he had some Asian in his genes. I felt him stand taking me with him, my head resting against his shoulder and as he turned, I saw a small cabin ahead. My eyes grew heavy as he climbed some steps, and I was only aware of being laid down on a soft bed.

I think there were times of lucidity, times when I was aware of people around me, drinking from a straw that felt heavenly as water ran down my parched throat. I still couldn't think clearly but could remember the face of a man, a man who wasn't who I'd dreamt he was, because he wasn't Ranger.

Over the next few days I would stay awake for longer and slowly images of where I was stayed with me. Faces and voices were still very elusive but as time progressed, I was sure of hearing other people and seeing fleeting images. Food just seemed to magically appear with the man coaxing me to eat each time I was awake. I knew he was always with me.

On the third day I felt more compos mentis, more able to think and consequently more curious about what the hell had happened. I was staring up at the knot of a net that fell around where I was laid down. My hands touched the bed I was laid on and grasped tightly at a thin cotton sheet. My head was resting on a pillow but the need to see more forced me to lift my head slightly. It made me aware that all I was wearing was a thin cotton nightdress that came to just above my knees. That I had clean bandages on and felt clean made me wonder how that had happened without me knowing or being awake at the time.

A sound to the side of me had me turning my head wanting to know what it was. That question was soon answered when a young Asian woman came into the room. I knew we were staying in what seemed to be a beach shack that had a bathroom attached but I had no idea where that was. As the woman came in, she looked at me and seemed surprised to see me looking back at her.

"My name is Maia. I've been looking after you. It's good to see you awake"

In her hands she had a large plastic bag making me wonder what she was expecting to happen. Her smile had me smiling back at her pretty face and disarming me making me feel that I couldn't be rude to this woman

"I'll change the dressings and then maybe you'd like to shower, and we can wash your hair"

I didn't really know what to say so I nodded my head that I understood, that I trusted her and to be honest I was feeling better, more prepared to face the day. As I lay on the bed Maia pulled the nightdress up over my thighs revealing a white bandage wrapped around my leg just above my knee. She carefully unwrapped the bandage to reveal a slightly jagged cut just at the side of my leg that looked to have black stitches holding it together.

"This looks good, the swelling has gone down and it's no longer red. Maybe tomorrow we can take the stitches out"

As I looked at the scar I remembered being hit with a bullet as I'd been running out of that building and then remembered that there was another gunman stood at the door. It made me even more keen to find out what had happened and how I was here, wherever here was. Maia leaned me forward and I felt her pulling something from the top of my shoulder, this was one part of me that seemed to hurt more than anywhere else. I stayed still as she seemed to gently push her fingers onto my shoulder, a slight pain travelling down my arm.

"Okay, the wound has healed well but you're still mending inside. The bullet hit your collar bone so you may still experience some discomfort. Maybe a sling would help support the arm for a few days"

After probably putting a new bandage over the wound she lifted my arm slightly and unwound the bandage there. I remembered getting this and wasn't too sure I wanted to see the damage that was left. As the last piece came off, I was surprised with what was there, a long thin straight cut that already looked to be healing.

"This has healed beautifully, so we can leave that now and let the air get to it"

As Maia stood up, she held my elbow and helped me to stand, keeping an arm around my waist as we walked into the bathroom. I was grateful for the help because to be honest I felt weak and very unsteady on my feet. There was a plastic chair stood under the shower and as Maia started up the water, I dropped the nightdress to the floor, taking hold of a towel to cover myself with.

"Don't be embarrassed. I've been looking after you all this time, so I know what you look like, and girl you look thin, you need to eat more and put some weight back on"

Her saying that didn't really help how self-conscious I felt, and I was soon sat on the chair under the water, soaping what I could with a flannel and soap. I felt the water turn off and movement behind me told me that Maia was now in the cubicle with me. I felt her hands in my hair as she soaped it up, relaxing as she massaged my head. As she touched a particular spot I flinched and bent away from her.

"That's where you cracked your head. It may be a little sensitive for a few days more"

The water started again allowing the soap to be rinsed away and as the water stopped, I was handed a towel to dry myself with. I had to admit that the feel of the shower felt good, relaxing the muscles in my body that I hadn't known were tense, but I was curious about Maia and how she was here.

"Are you a doctor, Maia?"

"Almost, I'm in my final year"

"I hope you being here won't affect that"

"Oh no, my final placement was in the west of Cambodia working with the families there. My tutors don't really care what I'm doing and never keep in touch. I have enough for my final paper to complete the course"

I was pleased as she said that but wondered who it was that had tended to my injuries, I mean digging bullets out couldn't be easy.

"Did you tend to the bullet wounds?"

"Yes. I'm good but I have to say some of the old remedies that the village folk still use were helpful when you got an infection. Even the antibiotics didn't seem to touch it"

That meant that I'd been more ill than I knew about and maybe that accounted for the weird dreams and feelings that had ravaged me. I was soon dressed in a simple sun dress, no bra, in case it rubbed against the shoulder wound but having panties on made me feel better. Maia rubbed in some lotion into my hair that made it easier to slide a brush through and then plaited it down one side of my neck. As Maia tidied up the bathroom, I returned to an empty bedroom I was curious who the man had been that had taken me down to the water's edge.

"Maia, there was a man here before"

"He's outside. There's some food outside for you"

"Maia. Thank you for looking after me so well"

"Min ei te. You're welcome"

My muscles felt weak, probably from being laid down for so long, though I was surprised that my leg didn't hurt more than it did. I very slowly made my way through the door and once outside I found the man sat in a wicker chair at a table so sat down opposite him. There was bowl of fruit on the table and a plate that looked to have some type of sandwich on it.

"Num pang. Pâté pickled carrots and daikon radish, fresh cucumbers, cilantro, and spring onions"

I wasn't surprised when he told me what was in them and I had to admit I was feeling hungry. The bread used was soft on the inside, crispy on the outside and tasted good, though I couldn't manage more than half of one, they were big. As I drank cool water from a glass I sat back and looked at the man.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Juan"

"What happened?"

I heard him sigh as though he knew he was going to have to tell me something and no doubt it would be an edited version of the truth.

"Let's sit over there in those comfortable chairs"

As Juan said that he pointed to two chairs at the far end of the wooden area that definitely looked more comfortable. He held my elbow as we walked and then lowered me into the soft cushions. I leant back glad of his suggestion, waiting for Juan to start his story, surprised when he started to talk about Ranger.

"Ranger called me, asked me to back him up for a job he was doing. Seems his instincts that things weren't right was spot on. This Doctor Seang was supposed to pass over some information, information that threatened national security"

As I listened to what Juan was saying it occurred to me that maybe that hard drive Ranger had sent was part of this job that he was on. Was it the information he was after, had he managed to get hold of it? I wasn't going to say anything so waited for Juan to continue.

"He came back to find me, pretty roughed up and furious at what had happened. He had two other men with him, but it sounded like they were ambushed"

"The two other men?"

"Ranger had no idea if they made it out. He asked me to post out a parcel to America"

That must have been the parcel that was sent to Mooner with the package inside for me.

"He didn't know how far reaching these people were and knew that Rangeman and probably you would be under surveillance. What did you do with the package Stephanie?"

I wasn't too sure I liked that question: how did Juan know that a package had eventually been given to me when the address was for Mooner?

"Me? I never received any package"

I was balanced on an edge here not knowing whether to trust this man or not and saw a look of frustration cross his face before he continued with his story.

"I was trying to get Ranger out of the country but when I went back to where he was hiding, he was gone, I wasn't sure if he'd made it out or not"

I wanted to desperately ask if Juan knew what had happened to Ranger and continued to look at Juan.

"He never came home Juan. Do you think someone found him?"

"Makes sense if they thought he had that information"

I was so desperate to know what they'd done to Ranger, had they tortured him to get information on the hard drive? But I couldn't bring myself to ask and I wasn't sure if Juan would know.

"What happened next?"

"He'd called in a favor that I couldn't refuse"

My eyes went wide wondering what on earth Ranger had asked of him.

"Lady you have no idea how hard you made it for me"

I knew I was frowning because I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

"Ranger asked me that if anything should happen to him, for me to make sure that you were safe. So, I flew back to the States"

"You were following me?"

He gave me a slight nod of the head and had the audacity to smile as if remembering something. I couldn't get annoyed at Ranger, not when he was trying to keep me safe, but Ranger would know that the men at Rangeman would keep me safe so why would he ask Juan to do that? I was curious though why Juân had said that I'd made it hard for him.

"How did I make it hard?"

"I thought you'd be okay because of those guys at Rangeman, they were keeping an eye on you, though, I couldn't work out when they let you do things on your own"

"When was that?"

"I followed you to New York but then you just disappeared. Did Ranger teach you that? Man, you're good at losing a tail. Then when I found you it seemed you were just shopping and then disappearing. I did work out that the FBI were onto you, that visit to the bar, good place especially when you went through the back door. I locked it to make sure you weren't seen, but in the process lost you so went to the hotel you were using"

"It was you in my room?"

"Yeah, I knew I needed to distract them so you could get away. I loved that you used the bank card and bought a train ticket for Philadelphia. That sure fooled them. Who was the guy you met?"

I was still thinking that this man had been in my room, was he telling me the truth when he said he was there to distract them or was he there searching through my things. He wouldn't have found anything though because I knew I'd been careful at keeping the two aliases separate. My mind went back to what he was asking, obviously he hadn't caught on to what I'd been doing. I was having an internal debate with myself as to what and how much I should say to this man. I knew that I had to say something but was worried that if I mentioned getting hold of a computer virus then that would let on that I had knowledge of the hard drive.

"He, err, was someone who I thought might be able to help me"

Okay I knew that he wouldn't understand what was motivating me and I certainly didn't want to give hom too much information but he had saved me. So maybe it was time I gave him some idea to what my plans had been. I had to tell him enough to explain things but not let on the true extent of what I knew.

"Okay, I give in. I booked into the Holiday Inn and used that just to sleep in. Then I booked into a second hotel under another name. I organized the trip from there and had my kit delivered there. I thought if I found the men who'd taken Ranger then I could maybe find out what had happened to him. Stupid I suppose"

"How did you end up at Ronteah?"

I was so pleased that I had distracted him from the question concerning my meeting with Adam. To be honest I had no idea how I would have explained him.

"I was ambushed and taken there. They thought I knew where Ranger had hidden something"

"They tell you what?"

"No, but I played along with their game. When they sat me down at their computer, I hit a few important keys"

Shit, that sounded so lame to me but what else could I say without letting on that I knew about the existence of the hard drive and where it was.

"It was you that brought down the systems at Ronteah?"

"Yeah, I wanted to get some payback"

"Shit, I'm glad you're on our side. You certainly hit the right keys. Everything controlled by the computers went down, meaning the doors and gates and external electrified fencing"

"That was the idea"

"How did you know to come here to Cambodia?"

I knew I couldn't tell him the truth because then he would know that I'd received that package and keeping the package a secret felt important.

"Ranger mentioned something about how I would love where he was going. Then later he said I that I would look just like Lara Croft did. It wasn't until later, after I was told that he was dead that I started to play back my memories of him being with me"

"So in some ways he gave you subtle clues?"

"Something like that"

"And Ronteah?"

"I had no idea who they were. I saw their helicopter flying over us when I was on a tour on the lake. Then the next day I was ambushed and woke up in that place"

I knew Juan was finding everything I'd done suspicious and could see that maybe he didn't quite believe me. He was beginning to piss me off with all of his questions though and I wanted some answers myself.

"Juân, do you know how I got out of there?"

"Yeah, after you went missing, I mingled with the locals when they went there to see if they could find you. They were already about to storm the place because of the men Ronteah was keeping there. Seems there was a lot of building work they needed doing and wanted to keep it on the low down, so they basically kept the workers prisoners there. I headed for the main entrance to the offices and there you were, being shot at"

I wasn't too sure how Juân had found me, but no doubt he had his ways, I mean he had managed to find me several times in New York and then somehow followed me to Cambodia. One thing I was going to do though, was to keep the hiding place of the real hard drive a secret, from everyone. I still didn't want to trust anyone with that information.

I was still confused with his story, maybe I wasn't thinking straight yet, but I suppose if he'd followed me to Siem Reap then what he was saying was plausible. Was it him that I felt was following me or men from Ronteah? I felt so confused but Ranger's words came back to me, not to trust anyone. I looked up as Juan continued to talk, surprised at how angry he sounded.

"I was mad at Ranger because I didn't know what had happened to him and to be honest, I want in on this clusterfuck, there's more going on than it seems, just like Ranger said to start with. Plus, I work with some of the assholes involved and I don't have much confidence in them at the moment"

"What happens now?"

"You rest and get yourself stronger"

I watched as Juan stood up and left the decking area we were sat on, following him with my eyes until he was out of sight. Then sitting back in the chair took in the view in front of me. It really was a beautiful place to be stuck in. The white sand as it led down to the blue of the ocean. It made me think of the last time I'd been sat on a beach, just before I'd gone to New York. I'd felt cold, not just because of the weather, but detached from my feelings, determined to reap havoc on the people who had killed Ranger.

Those feelings had changed and as I thought through the words that Grandma had said I was beginning to fully understand what she had meant. Now I had a need to find Ranger because in my heart I knew that he wasn't dead. Stupid really because I had nothing to base that on, only my head saying that I was stupid. Juan hadn't really helped but I couldn't ignore how I felt. I would do as Juan had said, get stronger and then figure out what to do next. It was with those thoughts that I closed my eyes and allowed myself to sleep.