"You left the party early," said Kathryn, faux scandalized, as she entered her Ready Room late that night. She looked at Gretchen, who was currently sitting in front of the Ready Room coffee table, flipping through her glowing card deck.

"Don't get me wrong," said Gretchen, looking up as Kathryn approached, "I'm beyond happy and grateful we made it out of The Rift, and you're still walking…..but I'm not exactly in the mood to party."

"I can understand that," said Kathryn nodding, "Voyager getting out now doesn't erase what happened in your timeline."

"No," said Gretchen, "It doesn't, but it's what I set out to do. We've conquered The Rift, I never thought I'd live to see it."

"I'm glad you did," said Kathryn warmly.

Gretchen fiddled with the cards for a moment, "Can I ask you a question?" she said finally, staring at Janeway with a strange expression.

"Of course," said Kathryn, sitting across from her.

"Do you ever get the feeling that someone is looking over your shoulder?"

"What do you mean?" said Kathryn softly.

"I mean," said Gretchen, flipping through the cards and starting to lay them out on the coffee table in front of her, "Do you ever get the sense that someone you've lost is here, not in a divination sense, like sensing their presence, but almost deeper?"

"Not just memory either," said Gretchen, still fiddling with the cards, "I mean, it's hard to explain, but…..now that we're out of The Rift, I can see them."

Gretchen gestured to her hand, "I can see Mary running into the Mess Hall with these cards, saying we all had to try them. And Philip Coleman tagging along behind her, and we all knew he had a crush but wouldn't say anything. And the Quinn brothers coming in behind them, and Jeremy Quinn playing me in my first match ever, and beating me, but then me beating his older brother. And L'Naal beating all of us, and Thomas and I sitting next to each other and harassing her from across the table, and Lynna flitting from table to table like a little fairy, staring at it all like it was the most interesting thing in the universe."

Gretchen sighed, and looked up at her, speaking slowly, "I can see all of it, I can feel all of it when I flip through these cards, even when I'm not thinking about it, I feel them, it's like I know they're there."

Kathryn looked at her, face soft and thoughtful. "I feel that with my father," she said after a long moment, "He taught me so much….I still feel him,"

Kathryn gulped, and a few tears fell down her cheeks, but she did not turn away, "Especially when I do something hard," she laughed, voice breaking, "I know he's proud of me. I can see him smiling," said breathed, smiling a watery smile at Gretchen, "I know what you mean."

Gretchen looked past Kathryn, and found herself being pulled into a vision, staring at the holodeck ceiling.


"What are you doing here?" said Captain Janeway in shock, heels clicking and uniform rustling as she rushed over to 4-year-old Gretchen, who was lying on the cool hard floor of an empty holodeck.

"I was saying hello to Naomi and Miral," said Gretchen's small voice, "I didn't want them to be sad."

The preschooler gripped the two white flowers in her hand, looking at the blank ceiling, and twitching her nose as she felt dry tear tracks on her cheeks.

"You shouldn't be here," said Gretchen's mother firmly, kneeling beside her and coming into her peripheral vision, "It's dangerous."

"But I didn't want them to be alone," said Gretchen, more hot tears running down her cheeks, "No one comes here, they'll be sad."

"They're not here anymore," said Kathryn, lifting Gretchen's chest up and looking into her eyes.

"Then where are they?" asked the child.

Her mother looked away for a moment.

"Neelix said they were eaten….can you get uneaten mommy?"

"I don't…." said Janeway, pausing and changing her tone, "Wherever they are….they wouldn't want us to be sad."

"But if we're not sad….how do they know we remember them?"

Her mother looked away again, and was quiet for a long time, and then looked back at Gretchen.

"…..My father….he's gone…..like Miral and Naomi…I don't know where he is…..but when he was alive…." said Kathryn, voice breaking for a moment, "He taught me about calculations….about the galaxy….how to discover things for myself….I don't know if he's watching…..but if he is…..I know when I figure something out…..when I do a calculation that was hard…..I know he's standing over my shoulder….smiling."

Her mother gulped, and the smile she gave Gretchen was bright, but her eyes and voice were watery, "….Naomi helped teach you how to read Flotter. Do you remember?"

Gretchen nodded, looking up at her mother, eyes wide.

"Whenever you read Flotter….whenever you read anything….for the rest of your life….you'll be remembering Naomi…..And Miral…..she handed you Thomas for the first time…..do you remember that?"

Gretchen shook her head, still looking up at her mother who spoke again,

"I do. And you smiled at Miral, before you even looked at the baby, you smiled the happiest smile I had ever seen on your face, and she smiled back…..whenever you smile that smile…..whenever you smile at anyone…..you're remembering Miral."

"And when they see that," said Kathryn, leaning in and pulling Gretchen close, so that the preschooler's arms were around her mother's neck, and her knees were laying on her mother's lap, "They'll know they're not alone."


Gretchen smiled at Kathryn, a real smile, and then frowned as her vision flickered again.

"Mommy!" she screamed suddenly as she saw a shadowy white figure with pitch black holes as eyes looming behind her mother, coming down from the ceiling with fangs and claws glistening as it moved towards them.

Her mother responded to the scream immediately, moving up and twisting as she held Gretchen tightly, grabbing her phaser in the same motion.

She fired at the monster but it kept coming towards them, ignoring the blow, "Computer containment field," came her mother's commanding voice.

The creature screamed, a horrible howling screech, as it pitched itself against the force field, opening a maw of a mouth, and baring its long fangs at Gretchen. The field held, and Gretchen found herself being carried quickly out of the holodeck. She lost her grip on her mother as she stared at the creature, and it held her gaze hauntingly, clicking its fangs at the transfixed child until the door closed on her mother's order.


Kathryn stared at her intently as the Ready Room came back into full view, "You were out for a minute," she said in concern, "Are you alright?"

Gretchen stood up quickly, shaking all over. She went to the replicator and punched a few buttons. As she felt the warmth of the mug in her hands she closed her eyes and breathed in, trying to calm herself down.

"I saw it," she said, turning back to Kathryn, "I saw one of those creatures. I remembered where...in the holodeck. It tried to kill me."

"Your brain was trying to protect itself by forgetting," said Kathryn, watching her intently, "That was quite a terror for a young child."

"You knew?"

"Not the whole time of course. But I read it in the logs. I thought I should let you remember on your own," said Kathryn, "That it attacked both of us."

"It wanted me," said Gretchen assuredly, staring at her, "But you wouldn't let it have me."

"Of course not," said Kathryn simply, eyes widening.

Gretchen blinked at her and looked off in surprise. She stared our the window for a long moment, sipping at her mug. Finally she turned.

"I remembered something else too." said Gretchen, approaching Kathryn again, head facing her, but eyes to the side, "What I just said, about feeling my crew over my shoulder, that came from you," she said turning her eyes to Kathryn, "You said that,"

"Well apparently I gained some wisdom in 20 years," said Kathryn, smiling sadly, "The memory itself was a nightmare, but I'm glad I was able to pass on one good thing at least."

"It would have been a much worse nightmare if you hadn't been there," said Gretchen, lowering her voice halfway through as Janeway's combadge cut her off.

"Captain," came Tom Paris' loud voice, "I think you'll want to be on deck for this."

Kathryn looked at Gretchen questioningly, and the younger woman nodded.

"Let's go," said the Captain, striding out of her Ready Room with Gretchen just behind.

Tom was smiling from his pilot's seat as they entered the bridge. His voice lingered dramatically as he spoke, "Take a stare at the viewscreen Captain. Just keep looking until I say,"

Outside the ship there was a plethora of beautiful stars. The entire Bridge crew stared forward at them, and Janeway stood in the center, directly behind Tom, with one hand on Gretchen's shoulder.

"There," said Tom, turning around in his seat after a moment, "Captain, we've just crossed the threshold. This is the Beta Quadrant."

End of The Captain and The Captain

Thanks for reading! Look for Part 4 in Q2 2021!