The shoot was successful, a hair above the budget if she calculated correctly. Miranda, after speaking with Serena and ignoring her, appeared satisfied but hung around to watch it brought together. She left as Montrose started taking photos. Andrea watched her leave, admiring how beautiful she looked against the backdrop of trees and small boulders. It brought on daydreams of family vacations and quiet talks in front of a fireplace.
All wispy good feelings derived from fantasy vanished by the time she returned to Runway. Miranda had appointments and so did she, but their argument plagued Andrea. The absence of resolution hit her harder than normal; she didn't deal well with conflict in a relationship and tended to throw herself into work. Miranda, of course, was work and personal which left no place for Andrea to hide while she figured things out.
She wasn't going to make the same mistakes she did in her previous relationship. They needed to talk and the sooner the better. Andrea settled all business for the day at four-thirty-seven then walked over to Miranda's office in hopes of catching her before she left to pick up Cassidy from a friend's house. Andrea spotted her walking across the bullpen. She took off after her, dodging the harried hoard.
"Miranda." she called out just as the woman stepped into the elevator.
Andrea dramatically burst through the closing doors. Thankfully they were alone.
"I don't have time for your theatrics."
But Andrea caught that certain glint in those blue eyes before Miranda covered them up with sunglasses.
"Good because I'm fresh out of them." Andrea said. "We need to talk. You know we do, Miranda."
"About what, exactly? Your inability to take direction?"
"I got Montrose."
"That little troll from Vogue got Montrose."
Dumbstruck, Andrea stared open-mouthed at Miranda.
"While Roy was driving me into the park, would you care to guess who was leaving? No?" Miranda snatched off her glasses. "EICVOGUE ring a bell? It's Anna's personalized license plate. Roy pointed it out, wondering why the troll wasn't under her bridge."
"So I...persuaded Anna to help."
"I know." Miranda sighed and leaned against the wall. "After you left the tent, I called her and demanded she tell me why Runway's Fashion Director called Vogue's editor."
"Why would you do that?" Andrea groaned then started massaging her temples.
"You blackmailed her!"
"What's your point?"
Miranda launched off the wall and met Andrea in the middle of the elevator car. "When shall I expect you to turn the tables on me?"
Unable to help it, Andrea started to laugh. "Oh, my god, are you for real? I'd have thought you'd be proud because I got you what you wanted. Look, it wasn't blackmail, not really. I'm sure she painted a wonderful picture for you about how conniving or whatever I am. I know things about her that I will never reveal. There are other things that are merely...embarrassing for her especially if you were to find out. Sounds familiar doesn't it?" When Miranda looked puzzled, Andrea elaborated, "How you and Anna interact with each other? Ring a bell? Anyway, she got Montrose because she cares about me, knows how you are, and I promised her a favor that will not involve you or Runway."
"I...well, then..."
"I will do whatever is necessary for Runway to thrive and I won't apologize for that. In 2004 you gave an interview..."
"Oh, god, spare me the trip down memory lane. I'm...sorry. I won't question your methods again."
Andrea blinked.
Miranda rolled her eyes then whispered, "We'll be over tonight at six. I'll bring the food."
"Yes, that'll...work."
The car slowed. Miranda put her glasses back on. Andrea stood by the panel of buttons.
"You drive me insane."
"It's mutual." Andrea replied.
Fen greeted her as soon as Andrea walked through the door. She bent down to kiss her but didn't pick her up. The lack of sleep caught up to her. Exhaustion overtook her limbs. It didn't, however, have anything to do with her and Miranda's activities last night. Andrea grinned as she put her things on the side table, thinking she could definitely find the energy for some make-up sex.
"How's my baby girl?" Andrea asked and plopped down on the couch.
Fen scrambled up carrying Lou the sloth.
"I want Da."
"Well, let me call him first, okay?"
"Okay." Fen patted Andrea's leg. "Where's the phone?"
She really didn't want to do this, not right now, but Fen wanted her father. Andrea got up, rummaged through her purse then went back to the couch and made the call.
"Everything okay?"
"Hi, uh, yeah it's fine. I was wondering if you-hold on." Andrea stood and told Fen, "I need to talk to daddy first. Be good. I'll be right back." As she went into her bedroom, she said into the phone, "I think Fen wants to see you. It's been a few weeks since you've seen her..."
"I can't get away right now. You're gonna have to fly her here."
"I'm not sending a four year old alone on a plane."
"Then come, too, and get a hotel room like I had to. I don't see what's the big deal."
"New York Fashion week starts this Friday, Nate. I can't. What about Saturday the twenty-eighth?"
"I've got a thing. Listen, I just can't right now, even if you brought her here."
"What's going on?"
"Things are...tense."
"Okay, you know what? It's none of my business. Can you FaceTime her now?"
"Look, I'll try to call her tomorrow, okay? I've gotta go."
Nate hung up. Andrea, shocked by his one-eighty turn from involved parent to whatever this was, didn't know what to think or how to shield her daughter. When her phone rang, she answered quickly, thinking maybe he had a change of heart.
"Why am I the last one to know you're getting a divorce, Andrea?"
Shit. "Who told you?"
"Your husband, who else? He said you neglected him. Is that true?"
"Of course." she said dryly, rolling her eyes at the ceiling then exiting the room.
"You've always been so ambitious."
Andrea sat down on the couch and held her finger up at her daughter. "I don't have time for this. I haven't seen..."
"How is this going to be good for her, Andrea? Have you thought about your daughter at all?"
"Please don't do this, mother."
"I just don't want you to throw your life away. He's a good man and he loves Fen."
A half dozen arguments were ready to jump off her tongue but she didn't utter a word. Vivian "Vivi' Sachs had wanted a model daughter in the very literal sense of the word. Andrea's toddler years were spent going from one pageant to another. When she was old enough to go to school, Vivi enrolled her in cheer camps, piano and singing lessons. They spent hours on a Saturday afternoon watching old movies from the forties and fifties. Vivi would encourage eight year old Andrea to walk in heels like 'the ladies on tv.'
There was no arguing with Vivi Sachs.
"Are you even listening to me, Andrea?"
"I'm trying not to, mother. Now, I'm going to hang up. Love you, bye."
There wasn't time to cry or get angry. The practicalities of raising a four year old took precedence but her hands shook and the back of her throat ached.
"What's the matter?" Fen asked, the quiver in her voice and the panic in her eyes enough to shred her mother. "Where's da?"
"Oh, nothing's the matter, sweetie. Daddy has to work tonight but he said he'd call you tomorrow." She gathered up Fen in her arms, deciding not to explain to her about hanging up on her grandmother. "Now, tell mommy all about what you did in school today."
"We had cookies and juice and we sang songs and we played with blocks."
Andrea lifted Fen high. "Such a busy little girl."
Playing with her daughter always lifted Andrea's mood but she also wanted to distract Fen from asking about her father. Andrea still didn't know what to say.
"Hey, Andrea, I'm gonna take off. I'll be back tomorrow morning before you leave for work."
"That's fine, Demetria. Have fun."
"Later, shortie." She held up her hand and Fen slapped it.
"Later, DeeDee." Fen twisted in Andrea's arms to watch the nanny depart. "Bye, DeeDee! Bye-bye!"
"Let's get ready for dinner." Andrea said after Demetria closed the door behind her then rubbed the tip of her nose against Fen's soft ear. "You make me so happy."
"Wash the hands first. It's the number one thing."
"You are so smart!"
Andrea carried her to the bathroom. Fen grabbed the little stepstool and dragged it from under the vanity. She struggled setting it just right in front of the sink but Andrea was proud nonetheless. Fen looked up at her, smiling big as she got on the stool.
"Tell me what to do next, sweetie. Mommy forgot."
Fen recited the steps, giving tips on how to use the soap dispenser, cautioning about water temperature, and the extolling the virtues of not making a mess. Andrea's heart grew and she wished someone had taken a video of them so she could watch it when her baby left the nest.
"See." Fen exclaimed, thrusting out her hands for her mother's approval. "All clean!"
"You did a great job, sweetie. What's next?"
Frowning, Fen swiped back her curls from her face. Then she shrugged, eyes so round with innocence Andrea wanted grab her daughter and never let her go.
"You have to dry them." Andrea answered, poking Fen in the tummy.
"Oops, I forgot!" Fen gasped then hopped off the step and yanked down a towel from the towel rack.
After she dried her hands she handed over the bath towel and took off. Andrea returned it to the rack, adjusting it just so. Uneven ends drove her crazy, thanks to her own mother.
Vivi, who seemed to think her daughter wasn't enough, wanted the wrong things, and needed a husband, took control over Andrea's mood once again. When she moved out of her parents' house and started to carve out her own life, Andrea developed her own perspective. Why had her mother pushed so hard for The Beauty Queen stay-at-home mother of three children whose husband made six figures until it was frankly obvious Andrea wouldn't choose that route? Is that what Vivi had wanted for herself? Andrea didn't believe it. Her mother worked despite her father's successful law practice. Did she want something 'better' for Andrea?
More questions ping-ponged in her head. She couldn't really talk to her mother. Vivi kept a constant commentary that only required an audience. Opposing views, questions, or comments weren't welcomed. Grown-up Andrea moved away and followed her own path. Her father's "fly and be free' attitude, on the surface, seemed a mantra for independence but, over a decade later, it rang dully with his apparent disengagement from her life.
Shoving Vivi to the back of her mind, Andrea checked on Fen who was in her room playing then changed into a pair of drawstring shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt. She removed the hair clip, shook out her hair then scratched her scalp.
The intercom buzzed. She rushed to the panel, nearly colliding with Fen.
Andrea pressed the button to unlock the gate, then for the intercom and said, "Come on up."
There wasn't a response but it didn't lessen her happiness. The one person who got her was coming up with her daughters to spend time despite the difficulties. Andrea sank a little deeper into her feelings. She wasn't alone. A fifty-something twice-divorced mother of two understood her, loved her, and was willing to do 'whatever it takes' to be with her.
Between the past and present, it wasn't a hard decision to make. Nate , Lily, and Vivi could suck it.
Fen ran to the door when they heard a knock and opened it after a nod from her mother. The twins poured in, loud and excited, carrying Fen away toward the couch. Belatedly Andrea received a greeting but she was too interested in their mother to care.
"Hi." Andrea murmured, keeping the urge to envelope Miranda in an embrace at bay.
Miranda swanned into the room, removing her coat and glasses. Andrea took them from her, as well as her purse and hung them on the coat rack nearby.
"I want to kiss you." Miranda said in an accusatory way, staring over Andrea's shoulder.
"Girls, I need to talk to Miranda for a second. We'll be in my room. We won't be long."
As expected, the girls were too involved with getting dolls runway-ready to do more than grunt in response.
Miranda narrowed her eyes. Nevertheless, she followed after Andrea.
As soon as the door shut, Andrea turned around and Miranda claimed her mouth. God damn, the taste and texture of Miranda's kisses were compulsive. Andrea went full-throttle, her hands roving Miranda's body, going everywhere at once.
Andrea husked, "You can be quick. I know you can."
"I'm still angry at you." Miranda growled, grabbing Andrea's hair and pulling her head back to bite her neck.
"Good. Take it out on me."
Miranda pushed Andrea's hands away then walked her back against the door. Slowly she wet two fingers, gaze never leaving Andrea's. The rounded red nails against her pink tongue quickened Andrea's heartbeat but when Miranda's lips gently molded around her fingers, cheeks hollowing out as she sucked, Andrea's heartbeat pounded in the arteries of her pussy.
Miranda released her fingers then slid her hand inside Andrea's shorts.
"You've been thinking about this."
"I always think about this." Andrea squeezed her muscles around Miranda's fingers, staring into deep blue eyes. Miranda, with agonizing slowness pulled out pressing upward. Arching her back, Andrea looked seductively at her and squeezed again when Miranda slid deeper. "Oh, there it is. Come on, Priestly, take what's yours."
Miranda emitted a guttural sound then pushed Andrea harder against the door. She kept stroking her without mercy as she sucked on Andrea's earlobe.
"You're going to take everything I give to you. Do you hear me?"
Miranda's fingers worked her like a cross between a piano player and construction worker. Andrea bucked, squeezing for all she was worth during the withdrawals.
"You like that, cub?"
Andrea clutched Miranda's shoulders, digging in her nails. "I, oh god, I do."
"Then you're going to love this." Miranda panted into Andrea's neck, grinding down with the heel of her palm against her clit.
Within a few seconds Andrea quaked, the pounding in her temples building as she fought from making any noise. The frantic slap of wet skin rang in her ears.
"Oh, yes, so good, my cub. That's it, come on my hand."
Andrea opened her mouth as she bloomed and gushed, unable to breath or scream.
Miranda, obliged to hold her upright while she recovered, softly kissed Andrea's damp skin above her shirt collar.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" she asked after some time had passed.
Patting Miranda absently on her shoulder, Andrea hummed, still woozy and a bit high.
Miranda propped her up against the door then slipped her fingers gently out of Andrea. Eyes closed, she listened to Miranda opening and closing drawers and decided to pull herself out of the afterglow.
"You're lethal. Feel free to do that again." Andrea said, testing her weak legs as she shuffled toward the desk while rearranging the waistband of her shorts. Christ, she was soaked. "What are you looking for, baby?"
"Tissues." Miranda held her right hand aloft and pointedly looked at her.
A second later it clicked. She grinned, maybe a little oxygen deprived still, and went to the bookcase behind the desk, blushing but oddly proud.
"For you." Andrea said, handing over a box.
Miranda's lips curved into a conceited smile. "Must have been a very good one."
"Oh, it was. Definitely top three. You have skills, Miranda Priestly."
"And I wasn't even trying."
Dinner was a lively affair with the girls chatter and the looks between the women. Fen interspersed her English with French which impressed Andrea to no end but didn't faze Miranda. The twins added a few phrases or words, although Andrea really didn't know more than the fact they were speaking French. She could learn but she loved the fact it was something unique between the Priestly's and Fen.
Surrounded by people she loved, Andrea was content. She thought of the future, of family gatherings and milestones. Would it be so for them, the Sachs and Priestly's celebrating a blended family while nurturing the next generation? Andrea clung to hope. When she looked into Miranda's eyes, hope turned to conviction.
"Andrea, what do you think of a trip to Florida after Fashion week? I have a small house in Miramar Beach. It would be lovely to get away from the cold, wouldn't it?"
"I want to go." Fen said as she looked at the twins.
"Me, too." Cassidy echoed.
Caroline said, "Oh, it's been so long, mom."
"Winter break starts February twenty-fifth to March first. We could leave first thing Friday and be back Sunday night." Miranda said, looking at Andrea with sparkling blue eyes.
Fen looked at Andrea and asked, "Please, mommy?"
Andrea's indulgent smile faltered. Four pairs of eyes stared at her with eager, hopeful intensity.
"I think we should talk about this later."
Miranda picked up her spoon. "Of course."
Cassidy reached across the table for the bread basket but a disapproving sound from her mother halted forward motion. She sat back down then looked at Andrea.
"Could you pass the bread, please, Andy?"
"No problem, Sidi."
"Mommy, I want to go with M!"
Fen's expression did not bode well. Andrea recognized the signs: bottom lip out, eyebrows lowered and the skin beneath them turning slightly pink, and the kicking against the booster underneath the table.
"Fen, settle down." she said in a form voice but Andrea knew by the glare she received it wasn't going to be enough. "Alright, let's go."
She pushed back her chair and went around the table.
"No! Leave me alone." Fen cried, the tears gathering in her eyes.
The twins didn't know what to make of a four year old's tantrum. It was obvious in the way they averted their eyes. Cassidy, who sat next to Fen, placed a hand on her shoulder and made soothing sounds that Andrea just knew she mimicked from Miranda.
Andrea lifted her out of the booster, kicking and screaming. Immediately she started to rub her back and carry her around, pressing her lips against Fen's wet cheek.
Miranda quietly joined Andrea as she paced up and down the hallway with a very vocal Fen in her arms.
"Mon chou, tu es fatigue?"
No longer wailing, Fen reached out for Miranda. Andrea handed her over albeit a tad begrudgingly. Demetria texted her earlier in the day that Fen wouldn't go down for a nap. Andrea replied to play the documentary on the constellations which normally put her daughter to sleep with its subdued commentary and low-key background music. When Demetria didn't text back, she figured Fen finally fell asleep.
"I should have made her take a nap when I got home." Andrea whispered, standing next to them in front of the window.
"It's not your fault." Miranda said in a hushed tone, lightly rocking Fen.
"But it is."
Miranda looked up from her contemplation of Andrea's daughter. Eyes narrowing, she stated, "You have a nanny to watch over her while you can't, Andrea. Don't doubt you're an excellent mother."
Memories started tumbling to the forefront. Fen going to Demetria, clamoring to be in Miranda's embrace, Vivi's displeasure, her failed relationship with Nate, Lily's treachery, and more filled her head.
"Tell the girls to put in a movie. I'll meet you in the kitchen once I put Fen to bed." Miranda ordered, the resolve in her voice tempered by empathy.
Andrea, on the brink of her own crying jag, wiped at her face then inhaled a steadying breath. She nodded then Miranda leaned in, one hand holding the back of Fen's head and the other arm across her bottom. They kissed with a soft quickness.
The twins ceased their bickering when she walked into the dining area.
"Is Fen okay?" Caroline asked, flicking her fingers over a napkin to dislodge a few bread crumbs that stuck to them.
"Yes. Your mom put her to sleep. She missed her nap today." Andrea answered then took her seat. "Are you guys done eating?"
Cassidy burped and quickly apologized despite an rogue giggle.
In the best ever imitation of Miranda, Caroline pursed her lips at her sister. "I'm almost done."
Andrea put her elbows on the table and folded her arms. "Are you guys okay?"
"Fen's a baby. She can't help it." Cassidy said as she stood and picked up her bowl. "She sure can yell."
Caroline finished the last of her soup then shrugged. "It was kinda scary, I guess. I didn't know why she was so upset. Mom says sometimes we just have to let it out."
"She's right, you know." Andrea swallowed the burning sensation in the back of her throat. "Listen, how about we put in a movie?"
Hesitant, Caroline looked over her shoulder at her Mother approaching. "I have to study for a math test. I bought my backpack with me."
"Will a movie disturb you?" Miranda asked, standing next her daughter.
Caroline rubbed her fingertips together on her right hand. "Would it be alright if I studied in Fen's room? I'll be quiet and I can, you know, keep an eye on her."
"Well, I think..."
"That would be wonderful, Caroline. Thank you." Andrea interrupted, trying to not cry again.
Miranda smiled at her daughter then tenderly cupped her beneath the chin. "You're a very sweet girl."
"Sometimes." Caroline replied then grinned, darting away toward her backpack then disappearing down the hallway.
"Cassidy, let's look what's on pay-for-view."
Cassidy scratched the tip of her nose. "If it's okay, I feel like drawing instead. I bought my sketchpad and pencils."
Miranda stared down at her little ruffian with the soul of an artist. "As you wish. Take your sister's bowl to the kitchen please."
Cassidy huffed. "She's not so sweet now."
"Andrea, come with me." Miranda said, gesturing toward the hallway. "I'd like to speak with you for a moment."
She led the way, very conscious of Miranda trailing behind her. Earlier, there hadn't been time for an informal tour and Andrea supposed that's why Miranda idly looked around. She picked up a small box made out of wood Andrea had purchased in Turkey before Fen was conceived. Her eyes were drawn to the way Miranda's fingers turned it around and around looking for a latch.
"Remember when you gave me the photobook? And you said it was the 'beginning of our story'. You knew then I was in love with you?"
Andrea sat down on the edge of her bed. "I couldn't think anything else."
"The first time I met you, I called you Anna's puppy and told you to go fetch."
Andrea didn't move although her jaw dropped of its own accord.
"Oh, yes, I remembered you, Andrea." Miranda set down the puzzle box then leaned against the dresser. "I wasn't attracted to you then, of course, but I saw something in you and it...drew me in. I simply told myself it was nostalgia for when I was your age. Even so, I admired your grit. Anna spoke so highly of you, in her way. Then it came to pass a good opportunity opened up for Nigel and I told him to find someone to replace him at Runway. He brought you and I thought it was a sign, not of a personal nature. You impress me. Every day, Andrea."
"I didn't get you Montrose..."
"Oh, but you did, my love. To be honest, well..." Miranda crossed her arms and looked at the carpet. "...I was jealous that Anna was the one you turned to and that...that was personal which doesn't have a place in our professional relationship. You were resourceful, used your contacts, and made it happen."
"Why are you telling me all this now, Miranda?"
"Because you are enough. For your daughter and for me." she stated quietly, looking at Andrea with absolute conviction in her gaze and the stance. "I never believed I would find my equal, much less in a female partner, but, I have...with you. We will have a future, Andrea. Together."
Incapable of speech, Andrea rose from the bed and walked over to Miranda. She looked into her eyes as she placed her palms against Miranda's collarbones. Slowly, she slid her hands upward and kissed her. It was a promise, an apology, and a gesture of gratitude.
"I love you more than anyone I've loved before you."
Miranda nuzzled Andrea's temple and whispered, "God help me, I feel the same."
