Thank you guys for reading and reviewing! I hope everyone is staying safe!

Ummm, I said sorry in the last chapter and I'm going to say it again...I'm sorry.

Words: 2,380 Ooh, this chapter is a bit longer than the others.


Clear water turns pink when it runs off Richard's hands before swirling down the drain. He scrubs his hands and arms more than necessary. The white undershirt he wears is stained red. He removes it quickly before replacing it with the scrub top he was loaned.

When he's sure there's no more blood, Richard splashes cold water over his cleaned face. The icy chill helps ground him, allowing him to take his first deep breath since...since everything happened. Despite the increase in oxygen, he still feels as if he can't breathe.

Grabbing his bloodied uniform, Richard stuffs it in a bag and ties it shut. He runs a hand through his hair before leaving the bathroom and reentering the waiting room. He sits heavily in one of the chairs and rests his elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands.

Time passes slow. To slow. The updates he gets on Devyn do him no good. It's always the same. She's still in surgery, they're doing everything they can. He doesn't care about that, he just wants to know if she's going to be okay. But he also knows no one can tell him that for sure.

He's alone in the surgery waiting room. It's really early morning by now, around two, he thinks. But it doesn't stay that way for long. He hears the rushed footsteps before he sees them.

Spencer is leading the group, his face scrunched in worry and anguish. It looks as if he's in physical pain. Richard wouldn't be surprised if he somehow was.

"She's still in surgery," He tells the younger man before he can even catch his breath. "They're working on her, there's not much else to say." Richard shakes his head with a tired sigh.

"Where was she hit?" JJ questions, once again speaking before Spencer can. He's not even sure he knows what to say. Richard looks up at catches the blonde's eyes. He knows, as soon as his gaze lands on her blue eyes, he realizes that she knows. About the baby. The others though, they seem to pass the question off as concern. As JJ just wanting to know more about her friend's condition.

"Stomach," Richard whispers just loud enough for them to hear. JJ clenches her jaw and looks up, blinking her eyes rapidly. "I-..."

Spencer covers his face with his hands and falls into the seat next to Richard. Garcia, who'd met up with the team just before arriving, sits beside him. He thinks he might throw up. Just as quickly as he sat, Spencer jumps to his feet and rushes down the hall towards the bathroom.

"I got it," Morgan holds up his hands to the others before following after Reid.

Hotch watches his team members round the corner before he turns back to Richard, gaining the man's attention. "I understand now isn't the best time, but can you tell us what happened?"


"Reid?" Morgan pushes the bathroom door open slowly and inches inside. "Kid?" Spencer's hands are braced on the sink counter, his head down low. His fingers and knuckles turn white when he grips the countertop and his body rocks back and forth. "Spencer."

"I can't-" Reid shakes his head, his voice barely a whisper.

"Okay, kid, breath," Derek moves faster to reach Spencer's side. "Look at me," He demands and Reid drags his eyes up to his. "She is going to be fine." He knows he shouldn't be promising this. But he can't help it. He's not only trying to assure Spencer, but also himself. "You take the time you need and you pull yourself together because she needs you. Devyn needs you. When she gets out of surgery and wakes up, the first person she'll want to see is you."

Spencer nods, sniffing and wiping his face with clumsy hands. "Yeah," He clears his throat and looks to the ground. "What if-"

"Don't think 'what ifs'," Morgan cuts him off and grips his friend's face, making him look at him. "Don't do that to yourself. Now, you ready to get back out there?"

Spencer sucks in a deep breath and nods. Derek copies the movement before they both exit the bathroom. JJ hugs him as soon as she sees him. She feels even more conflicted than before but she still doesn't tell him. Only pulls away and rubs his arm before letting him find a seat.

The whole team takes up camp in the waiting room. Hotch and Rossi disappear for a while. David is the first to return but he doesn't say anything. He only joins them in waiting. Hotch returns a while after the older man does and silently takes a seat, expression blank.

At exactly four-thirty-five a.m, the doctor approaches them. Everyone is on their feet in less than a second and the man actually takes a small step back at the sudden movement. "You're all here for Devyn?" He asks, forgoing formalities. He knows Devyn, she's been in and out of this hospital for work for over a year and...this is where her mother was.

Everyone nods but it's Spencer and Richard who step forward, demanding to know how Devyn is. Dr. Throne looks around then over his shoulder before stepping completely into the waiting room. There's no one else in there and with so many people, he figures there's no point moving into one of the private rooms he usually uses to inform a patient's family of their conditions.

"Devyn is stable," There are collective sighs of relief around the room but two sets of shoulders stay more tensed than the others. "I'm sure you're all too tired for details," Not that they would really understand and he really doesn't think it matters right now. Maybe that's unprofessional to think, but it's true. "Though it was touch and go for a while, there was a lot of damage, but we were able to repair it. I'm hopeful she'll make a full recovery."

"But?" Emily is the one to prompt. She can see the word hanging off the tip of the doctor's tongue. She's sure the other profilers in the room can too. Or most, Spencer looks two seconds away from passing out, he's in no position to pick up on such things.

Dr. Thorne hesitates, his mouth opening and closing. He looks to Richard who shakes his head softly and Thorne nods. "Spencer," The young man's eyes widen just slightly and he tries to focus all of his attention on the doctor he's met once before. He'd been with Devyn, visiting her mother and they'd run into him. She'd introduced the two of them happily. "Step out with me." It's not a question and despite the way his stomach drops, Spencer is able to pick up his feet and nod.

"In here," Thorne leads Spencer into a small, private room but neither of them sit. He sighs heavily and turns to the younger man.

"What's wrong?" Spencer questions at the man's hesitance. "You said-"

"I know and I stick to my word that Devyn will recover," Dr. Thorne cuts Spencer off but his words only assure him a little. That 'but' rests in the air silently but loudly at the same time. Now, normally he wouldn't divulge this information, but the situation isn't exactly like others. "Spencer...Devyn was pregnant."

When he got the phone call hours ago, the voice on the other side all but telling him that he may never see his other half again, Spencer felt as if his world had stopped spinning. Now he feels as if all the air has been sucked away, leaving him to suffocate.

Somehow, his brain focuses not on the word you'd think, but not one any less important. "'Was'?"

"I'm so sorry," Thorne shakes his head, voice gentle. "There's no way the baby could've survived." There's a long pause where the doctor lets Reid try to process the information, but after a few minutes, he starts again. "I thought you should know because...I realize this will be hard for you as well, but Devyn..."

"Yeah," Spencer mumbles and nods, eyes staring at nothing. He was...he was going to be a dad. Devyn had been pregnant and he hadn't even known. That must be why she'd been acting weird, she was working up the nerve to tell him. But he'd left, gone away for work and she'd...she'd been shot and lost their child. He'd left her all alone with this and...

"Spencer," Thorne pulls the young man from his thoughts with his voice, hand hovering over his shoulder. "Would you like to see her?"

"Yes," Spencer nods quickly. "Please."

"Okay, I'll take you to her," Thorne leaves the room first and leads Spencer to a room in the ICU. He pauses at the door, fingers gripping the handle. "She's still out, from the anesthesia. She should wake in a few hours but she might not be coherent. You just have to give her time."

Spencer nods again, silently this time and he waits for Thorne to open the sliding door. He enters as soon as he can, eyes immediately finding Devyn's face. She looks as if she's only sleeping. Unharmed. Except for the nasal cannula under her nose. The gown she wears is covering mostly by the blanket lifted to her chest. Her arms aren't covered, instead, they're left lying victim to the cold air. An IV is inserted into the crook of her right elbow, heart rate, and oxygen monitor attached to her finger.

"You can stay with her," Thorne informs him after Spencer takes the lone chair next to the bed, gently grabbing his girlfriend's hand. "I can tell the others they can't if you'd prefer. But I don't think Richard would listen."

"No," Spencer shakes his hand, squeezing Devyn's limp hand. "No, they can come." They'll want to see her too. Spencer knows how close they've all grown. The team is to Devyn what they are to him. Family.

"Alright, I'll let them know they can visit, but I can only bend the rules so much." Dr. Thorne informs. "They can stay for a little while, but they'll have to come by at visiting hours until she's moved to a regular recovery room." When Spencer only nods, Thorne announces his exit and goes to find the others.

Spencer lets a few tears fall from his eyes then but he wipes them away. He grips Devyn's cold hand in both of his own and brings it to his lips. "I'm sorry," The apology falls off his tongue before he can register. He doesn't bother trying to stop it nor the others. "I'm so sorry."

When he hears the door open behind him, Spencer stops his mumbled words and forces himself to stop rocking back and forth and sit still.

"Spence," JJ's hand lands on his shoulder and he looks up at her. He tries to smile but the action falls flat and he turns back to Devyn.

Richard finds himself on the other side of the bed, carefully moving the blanket over Devyn's uncovered right arm. He's careful with the IV there but he knows how much Devyn hates to be cold. Richard continues to fret over her, this obvious in the way that he straightens the blanket again, his fingers gently pushing a strand of hair off her forehead.

She looks so small, he can't help but think. So small. So young. She's pale, the tubes coming out of her nose providing her oxygen bring back bad memories for him. Everything about this does.

Richard's next breath gets caught in his throat but he rubs a hand over his face, forcing himself to inhale deeply. He tries to push those thoughts away. He can't bear to think about Sam right now. Not when the only family he has left is lying in a hospital bed with a serious injury.

He knows he isn't the only person in Devyn's life. There are people more important, like Spencer. But he can't lose her. He just can't. Just the thought makes his head and heart hurt. There's no way he'd survive if he really does lose her.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Richard takes a seat next to the bed, his eyes never leaving his partner's face.

Hotch is the first to leave, needing to get back to Jack. He squeezes Reid's shoulder, making the younger man promise to keep him updated. As much as JJ wants to stay, she has to get back to her boys as well. Spencer accepts a hug from her but his attention is quickly turned back to Devyn.

Emily, David, and Garcia go next, both with the promise to check in soon. Spencer is grateful for them but he's glad they're gone. It was starting to feel crowded.

Morgan then squeezes Devyn's and Spencer's hands before patting his friend's shoulder. "I'll stop back by in a few hours." He tells him before making his exit, leaving Spencer and Richard alone.

There're a few minutes of silence before Spencer asks. "Did you know?"

Richard looks at him and sighs before nodding. "Yes. She was going to tell you when you got back."

"Was she- was she..." Spencer clears his throat and looks down at his hands, his fingers rubbing over Devyn's palm. "Happy?"

"She was scared," Richard admits. "But...yeah, she was happy about it. Excited."

Spencer nods again, his head down low. He wipes the tears that fall from his eyes and clutches Devyn's hand tighter.


1...I'm sorry. Again. I know you guys were hoping the baby would be okay but...sorry.
2. I love torturing my characters. Have you noticed?
3.
Of course Devyn goes to other hospitals with her job, but this one is like...idk, always closest? Lol, I don't know things man, just accept it.
4. The way Richard frets over Devyn, ugh, my heart. And poor Spencer!
5. This couple has a long rode ahead of them...

Thanks for reading! As always, I love to know you thoughts, theories, and reactions!


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