Time has stopped. At least, it feels that way. If it weren't for the fact that I started feeling the baby - my fourth baby girl - within the last two weeks, I wouldn't be able to tell you how much time has passed from the charity ball until now. I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly when Jacques had snapped that night, or how things had gone between us in the week that followed. I know without a doubt that I wouldn't be able to tell you what has happened to my kids, what with Cate becoming the Winter Maiden, Weiss withdrawing from nearly everything, Winter all but turning away from everything to do with the family, and all that I know Whitley is going through at school. I know so many people hate him for being Jacques' son. I know the same thing is happening to Weiss. But I just can't quite come to terms with it. I want to draw them out, I want to put them into public education so they can have a chance to be...normal but it will never happen. Jacques will never let it happen.

He is, without a doubt, the reason I've struggled so damn hard to stay sober throughout my pregnancy, and the baby won't even be born for another four and a half months. I'm terrified I won't make it that far, that something will push me over the edge, that I'll do something that will accidentally hurt my baby. The thought alone makes me feel sick, dizziness threatening to pervade every part of my being. I've been alone so much, the last week, too. Jacques made the sudden decision to force her into Atlas Academy alongside Winter in an attempt to both punish her and "straighten her out." James says she's going to still finish her degrees in a year and a half like she always would have but he also thinks that the physical training of being a huntress is already starting to take its toll on her. Jacques has no idea that she's the Winter Maiden and that this may very well protect her in a twisted way, but I can't support it no matter what James says about how he's teaching her personally.

"She's enrolled as a transfer student, in a very specific program targeted not at those who want to join the military or be hunters but those with political and diplomatic aspirations, mainly in the State Department, the Department of Foregin Affairs and Military Action, and the Department of Justice. There is, of course, a training aspect of it but it's far more geared towards self defense rather than the skills required of a member of the military or hunters. She'll be perfectly safe, Willow, I promise. I won't let anything happen to her or let her status as the Winter Maiden be revealed. All students in that program have a specific mentor anyways. It's not suspicious at all that I am that for her."

Even now, I can hear how Cate broke down sobbing when Jacques declared he was tired of her and was sending her to be "straightened out." I can't even begin to imagine how helpless she has felt since what she and Anna did. There is nothing about this situation that has been good for her. She was pushed too far and emotionally manipulated by her own father and then by people she and her girlfriend thought were genuine. The things that happened that night all went so differently than she had meant them too, and everyone knows it. The thing with Arthur too...I still can't quite believe that. It is almost too damn horrible to accept. Something needed to be done to help her with her position as the Winter Maiden….but it never should have led to this. James was already helping her with that, he and Glynda both were. There was no reason for this to happen, no reason for her to lose so much in about a month. And the way he had told her about the baby, even before her outburst in the press conference...it was almost as if he were hoping he'd have a child that would truly be a "better" version of her.

I never thought he could finally be this angry with the child he had favoured for years.

"Willow?"

I sigh, barely even bothering to look up when I hear Blake's voice. He knows as well as I do that the only reason I would ever wander through the SDC World Headquarters, let alone this near to his office, these days is because he, James, and Glynda are my only confidants. I don't even have to look at him to see the serious concern in his eyes, or the way he's probably frowning in thought. I don't even feel it when he gently motions to tell me it's alright to enter his private office. Even after I sit down on the increasingly familiar couch, I don't feel much. When I do eventually look up, however, it's in surprise upon seeing Allison, her two month old son cradled snuggly in a sling against her arm and her free hand sketching a few designs, probably for her upcoming fashion show. Blake sits down across from me, rubbing his temples. There's exhaustion in his eyes, and I know without even asking that it's not just because of their kids or their baby. It's because of the company. It's always because of the fucking company.

"Jacques isn't even in the kingdom right now," Blake eventually says, eyeing me closely. "He's going to be in Vacuo another two weeks just to see the mines there."

Of course he is. Jacques barely tells me anything at this point.

"Figures," I say dryly. "But thank you for telling me."

"Oh, Willa," Allison pushes her work aside and adjusts her son in her arms before standing up, sitting down on the other side of me. I flinch when she gently touches my shoulder, barely even aware of the reaction until I see the shock register across her face. "Did that hurt? I am so sorry if I -"

"No, no, it's alright," I take in a deep breath and brush my hair to the side, closing my eyes for a few seconds. "It has just…..been a difficult few months."

"I know," Blake shakes his head, looking disgusted. "I can't even believe Jacques did what he did to you. We've all known for years that he has a short temper like your eldest and Weiss, but I never thought he would be capable of something that horrible. I know it doesn't help, but, really, I'm so sorry."

"It doesn't mean anything," I numbly reply, glancing at my wedding ring. "I don't see the point of caring about it anymore and I'm….well, I just hope the baby will never...that she'll never have to...have to know what this is like, or what…"

Blake swallows hard. "Willa," He says quietly. "I know it's your choice, but I think you should leave Jacques….if he's doing things like this to you -"

"It hadn't happened before then, and hasn't since," I'm not even sure I can hear my own voice as I speak. "And this isn't about him or me. I can't...Weiss and Whitley are too young and they're both going through so much themselves, especially with their sisters that I can't...I can't feel right taking them away from their father. I don't even know what I'd do to support them if I left him, either. The company, most of the family's wealth….it's in his name. I….I can't leave….because leaving him would probably end in me having to leave them too."

Allison tries to hide the horror on her face but I know she can't. She even looks about to cry and, honestly, I want to as well. Everything has been so awful for so long, but there is no way to make it right. Nothing will make things better. There are no good solutions. There just aren't.

"Then promise me you'll at least do something," Blake reaches over to give me a hug and Allison almost immediately joins him. "I know last year you put up a camera in the portrait of your father across from his office….but I...God, I feel guilty even suggesting this, but -"

"You think I should hide cameras everywhere in the manor," I softly finish, reaching up and brushing away the silent tears that have begun to fall.

Allison hesitates. "And link them to your scroll and your scroll only."

"Get a private one, actually," Blake says quickly. He knows . "Allie and I will pay for it. And, before you tell me it would be an undue burden on us, scrolls are not that expensive and we can put it on the same kind of plan we all have anyway. You can keep an eye on him, keep it private, and Jacques will never know."

I glance between him and Allison for a few long minutes but then finally manage a weak nod.

"Alright," I say. "That's...probably for the best."

"It might help you emotionally, too," Allison says kindly. "At least, to regain some sense of control."

"Why do you think I've been practicing my summons?" I manage a small smile. "It has been over twenty years since I was last in the field...but I've tried not to forget what I know. I've tried so damn hard for years to help Winter the best I can, and Weiss too….I just hope…"

"They'll be okay," Allison reassures me. "That's why Blakey and I are helping you with this. You need it, and I'm sure you'll need it even more after your baby is born."

"I know," I sigh heavily, my mind reeling. "I just wish it didn't have to be this way."

Blake chews at the inside of his cheek and then shakes his head. "We all do," He says. "You deserve so much more."

I wish I could believe him.