AN: Happy Vday. This story is thankfully almost done. This was definitely not short like it was supposed to have been.
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Chapter Thirty-One
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Rhett still wasn't quite sure what had happened in the last three days. It was rather like a ball set in motion, tasks were completed because they were the next step. He had demanded a divorce from Scarlett, leaving Atlanta that ever-present thought in his mind every day for weeks had finally been verbalized. The desperation within him to escape finally pushed into action by seeing Scarlett laughing with Ashley.
But then just like that, it had been negated.
He had planned to exist in the same house with Scarlett solely for Bonnie when he had returned home from Charleston. Scarlett had informed him she was expecting Nicholas.
He had planned to only be a father to the four children in their home, to live in a loveless marriage with Scarlett. She had informed him she wanted another baby.
He did his duty and once more resigned himself to a life outside of her bed and life. She lost the baby and suddenly she was calling out to him when she was suffering. She had cried out for him, finally him. He was powerless and could do nothing, but it was finally him. He accepted their polite marriage, their superficial marriage. Keeping his utter devotion to her only while in bed.
She had excelled in destroying his perfectly laid out plans over the last three years. Truthfully, she had started to destroy his well-laid plans on that very first day when she had interrupted his nap. Three days ago, just like that, she had ignored his demands for a divorce and instead made plans to leave with him.
She was fairly excellent at ignoring and simply moving past what should have been more. They had moved back in together after three years without an actual word ever regarding it.
Three days ago, they had their discussion in his study and then taken supper with their family and spent the remaining evening in the parlor with them. She readied for bed, nursed the baby and then went back to her old spot of sleeping upon him as if months hadn't passed with her sleeping on the opposite side of the bed.
He had wanted to fight her, but he was so very tired and she felt so very good. He was fairly certain all he had said was her name and she had made a simple remark that they slept better that way, which was true, especially paired with the brandy he had consumed.
The next morning, she joined them at the breakfast table not long after he sat down, something she hadn't done in nearly a year. By the time she joined them at dinner she had already seen Leticia DeVaughn and had several lists made up.
That busy morning led to why he was in the mill's office with Ashley Wilkes. Nicholas had a tooth about to breakthrough, which was likely the cause of the slight fever that his wife had summoned Dr. Meade for, but she would certainly not willingly leave her beloved boy when he wasn't feeling his best. Rhett had already been to the old mill and was now at the new mill with Ashley.
"I've sold the mills; the new owner has agreed to keep you on provided your work is up to par."
Ashley Wilkes barely blinked at the news that Rhett had dropped on him.
"I'm going to take Scarlett and the children on an extended trip."
"Extended?"
"Yes, we'll go to Charleston for Christmas and then continue on to Europe."
"When will you return?"
"There is no set itinerary."
"After her mourning."
Rhett was struck by Ashley Wilkes' suddenly insightful observation, "Yes, I suppose so."
"I never told you how impressed I was by your demand that Scarlett not dress in mourning unless receiving visitors. Your public scathing of Mrs. Merriwether-"
"It was hardly for public accolade."
"You've never hesitated to stand up for what you believe in, I have always respected that about you. You've never let their demands and their rules stop you from-"
"I've bowed down to them far too many times to count." His many failures had haunted him since Bonnie, they plagued him at every turn.
"Not as much as most. Certainly not as much as I. We've always been men of similar ideals, but you've never lacked the courage to act on them. Who I married, the war, the south, the mills, another baby. They were never my choices, but they became mine because I went along with them."
"Melanie instead of Scarlett," Rhett was intrigued at the thought of finally having answers at the perverse relationship that had plagued him for so long.
Ashley nodded, "Scarlett told me how you overheard us the day we met you."
"Did she confess what happened to your vase?"
"It was a bowl," Ashley smiled, "I believe I asked years later. I deserved it at my head."
"You would have been a poor match."
Ashley smiled, "I wonder if Scarlett has ever realized how grateful she should be to my sisters and late father."
"Likely not," Rhett answered dryly.
"She was so different than anyone I'd ever met. It was my duty to return home and live that life. That small life, but then I met Scarlett. With Scarlett the world seems bigger doesn't it, brighter, there was suddenly more than what fit into simple molds. But they were right."
"I can't say I disagree with you," Rhett kept his mood easy and light.
"You've given her a life far grander than the one she dreamed of."
Rhett said nothing but looked at the man so out of place in the world he was in. Ashley Wilkes was still a handsome man, the silver in his hair blending flawlessly with the silvery blonde. He was aging in a way that made him look even more thoughtful and the man had always been thoughtful. Too thoughtful. Too caught up in his mind to ever do anything of significance in life.
"Will you take Beau."
The words startled Rhett and pulled him out of thoughts of the past and Scarlett's decade long obsession with the man before him. "What?" It bothered him that was his reaction.
"He's lost his mother; it would be quite unfair for him to lose his cousin as well." Ashley nodded slowly, "He should see that there's more than this. That this isn't all there is. I wanted to take him north when he was a baby, but Melly-" Ashley paused for a moment, "I would appreciate if you took him with you, I'll never be able to send him-"
"I'm not certain how long we'll be gone."
"It would be far better for him to see how much there is in the world rather than live in a life where all he sees is what he's lost."
It startled Rhett to hear what he needed put so plainly into words by Ashley Wilkes. There had been a need to escape, but at the same time a need for more. He knew that there was something out there, something that was more than them, more than Atlanta and the mockery of a civilization it was. "What shall I tell Mr. DeVaughn? About your position?" Rhett heard the underlying meaning behind all of Ashley's words. He would wonder later if his question was in fact its own type of kindness, permission for the man to finally act upon his thoughts.
"That he'll need to fill it," Ashley nodded.
o-o-o
"Is he not feeling better?" Rhett came upon his wife in the nursery, sitting in a rocking chair their son clutching her and his knit caterpillar.
"He's no longer screaming; I would say he's markedly improved or exhausted."
"Daddy," Nicky said moving his head away from how into was burrowed into his mother to look up in misery at his father.
"Oh my poor boy," Rhett spoke with compassion as he walked towards his son. Their boy quickly separated himself from his mother, hoping his daddy would make things better when she could not. Rhett spoke reassuring words as he gathered his son close to his chest, rubbing a hand along his back as Nicky rubbed the side of his face into his father's hard chest.
Rhett could still see Scarlett despite his attention being on their son, saw how she tenderly looked at them, at their boy. For a woman who was generally without empathy, she had always held it in spades for the children they shared. She had always crumpled under the weight of Bonnie's despair. She felt their pain just as if it were her own.
As he continued to murmur to his son, he watched as Scarlett took the blanket from her shoulder, watched the chagrined look on her face as she touched the wet spot on her chest that had seeped through the blanket. She stood and Rhett noticed the cloth in her hand, "Nicky do you want this-"
Nicky looked at his mother and quickly gave her a sullen look, "No," and burrowed back into his father's chest pressing the back of his jaw firmly into it.
"It helped for all of ten minutes," Scarlett said giving a dirty look at the cloth she had been holding for ages, Mammy had soaked it and then put it in the ice box.
"I did suggest brandy," Rhett smiled.
Scarlett smiled, "Aunt Pauline suggested whiskey."
He laughed lightly as Scarlett turned away from them to check on Claire asleep in her cradle. "Has anything helped?"
"The ice cream we had at tea certainly didn't hurt."
"Did you have ice cream my boy?" Rhett asked looking down at his son.
"More?" Nicky looked up with hopeful eyes.
"At dinner," his mother promised him.
Their son grunted and returned to his burrow.
"They made ice cream?"
"They have now, I believe it's still setting. I had to send Prissy out."
"Our kitchen makes far superior ice cream to anything sold in town."
"I'm fairly certain your mother is responsible for the lemon and orange blossom ices we've been served lately." She had turned halfway through her comment when she heard Claire stirring, "Hello my sweet girl, did you wake up to say hi to Daddy?"
He found himself laughing as Scarlett picked up the baby as Nicholas still clung to him and he was hardly a small boy, "Where is the staff? What would you have done if I hadn't come upstairs?"
"I imagine drop a child," she smirked "or begun screaming as loud as the children. There was some emergency in the kitchen, the house hasn't burned down, but we may be eating cold meats and cheeses for dinner"
He smiled watching as Claire tracked her mother with her eyes, he stepped in closer as Scarlett shifted the baby so Claire could see him, her eyes widened and she smiled and began her gurgling coo as her arms extended as if she were reaching out for him. "Hello, my darling Claire," he said laying a hand on the baby.
He took in Scarlett looking at the precious baby in her arms, the obvious love and pride she felt for their daughter, Scarlett looked up at him still smiling. The green eyes that their daughter's were starting to mirror, shining up at him. His hand lifted up from his daughter to her mother, coming to rest on her jaw, he dropped his head down for a kiss. Not deep or even long, it wasn't filled with passion, but tenderness. "Since we are apparently holding the children until dinner, should we retire to our room for the sake of our comfort?"
"That sounds wonderful."
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Christmas 1873
Charleston, South Carolina
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She paused as she sat at the vanity in the middle of removing the cream that had been sitting on her face. She took him in from the corner of her eye. He had paused in his own nightly ritual and was sitting with his glass of brandy, his jacket and vest gone upon entering the room, he had sat to remove his boots and had not returned to the task of undressing.
He was tired. The day had been a chore, exhausting. It was awful to have such a joyous day be so trying. There could be no melancholy on Christmas and Nicholas' birthday. Those feelings had to remain tucked away and hidden from the children. She was sure it would have been impossible in Atlanta with so many memories of Bonnie and not nearly enough Christmases with her. Still though, Scarlett had been struck constantly with thoughts of their daughter, she imagined he had faced even more for he had actually seen her in the rooms that they had celebrated in.
He hid it all so well. It occurred to her constantly how much of Rhett she had overlooked. Her husband was a consummate actor, he was a man who felt things deeply, but a man who very seldomly showed that. She imagined she should have realized it with the war, with all of his many thoughts before, during and after. The fact that he'd felt the need to potentially sacrifice himself at the end. No, a man that spoke like Rhett was not a man who only experienced life on a superficial level only she had been too wrapped up in herself to see that. She had missed a great many things for so long. The world was larger now, so much larger.
She removed the cream and then removed herself from the chair she'd been seated at. Walking to her husband and then dropping herself in his lap. He needed her. It was such a simple thing to see once her eyes had been opened to it. The day had been trying, he was depleted, the wounds of Bonnie's loss fresh again. Their love was healing, fortifying. The balm she experienced after Nicky's birth, it wasn't a polite marriage, it was his presence, his non-caustic presence. It was all so simple now that she saw it, so clear.
It was amazing how instantly she felt better the moment she felt his warmth under her, the strength of his arm. It would never erase the pain, she knew now that nothing ever would, but it would be a balm against it. It would keep her strong despite how the pain would try to pull her down. The loss of Bonnie, the loss of so much would constantly be a drain, but their love would always be countering it.
They had returned to being intimate within a week after their declarations in the study. Oh how quickly that had returned once their skin was upon each other. Their bodies knew their partners, their other half.
Odd how even with the barrier Doctor Meade demanded they use after how depleting the last half a year had been on her body, she had never felt closer to her husband. Oh, he hadn't told her that he loved her, but he'd certainly not brought up divorce again since that awful half-hour in his study. He needed more time to heal and grow strong once more. He could have all the time he wanted, although she imagined he wouldn't be able to last long with how often she told him she loved him.
"That new doll your sister gave Ella reminded me of the one you got for Bonnie in New Orleans."
He smiled, "The one that shattered as we picked up Wade from school?"
"I believe Bonnie was trying to climb onto your head," she smiled.
"While I was also carrying Ella and holding the dog's lead," he dryly added.
Scarlett laughed.
"I believe Bonnie found it as amusing as you, until her doll broke," he smiled recalling the memory.
"We got Wade and went directly to the toy store."
"The afternoon turned out remarkably well for the children."
"We stopped at the bakery," she smiled, "it turned out remarkably well for me as well."
He laughed.
She loved how the feeling reverberated through her.
"Do you think Claire will sleep through the night again?" Rhett questioned, looking over at the cradle tucked in next to their bed.
"There's a good chance. I am fairly certain she frowned when Aunt 'Lalie picked her up and woke her from her nap."
"I do hope she keeps up sleeping through the night for the boat," he said still ponding their baby.
"I imagine so will the entire boat," Scarlett smiled.
He laughed again and pulled his wife in tighter.
"Do you still wish to take the children around town tomorrow when Beau arrives?"
"Yes, Scarlett, I will keep the children out of the house so you can organize everything for the trip."
"It's rather peculiar how originally Aunt 'Lalie deciding that she and her daughter accompanying us to London rather than trying to find governesses for the trip was so reassuring and now it fills me with dread."
He laughed.
"Paid help have to keep their judgments silent."
"Since when?" Rhett remarked dryly.
"Their judgments are certainly easier to handle knowing I can-"
"Yell and berate them?" He remarked.
"I don't know what you're talking about Rhett, I never do that."
He laughed lightly, "No of course, never."
"Should we go to bed? It's been a long day and I imagine the next two will be even longer."
He sighed, "I have no doubt you are correct."
She let out a small smile as she suddenly felt them moving and her husband was standing with her in his arms. Soon she was placed as gently in their bed as Claire was in her cradle. Looking up at him, taking in the lines on his face, the gray at his temples, the visible display that the last half a year would never truly leave them. She loved them all so. Every line, every hair. She was rather perplexed though just as she was about to say that she loved him, he kissed her on the forehead.
"Are you not coming to bed?" She asked as her husband straightened up.
"I still need to clean my teeth and change."
"You don't need to change."
He smiled as he began to undo his shirt, "But I do need to clean my teeth."
"I would prefer that," they did sleep rather close.
He laughed turning to go towards the pitcher and basin set up in their room. It wasn't long until he was turning back again, "I could have my teeth pulled and have a set made of the finest ivory."
"I would rather you didn't."
He chuckled undoing the fastenings on his pants, he'd shed all traces of his clothing before he climbed under the bedcovers with his wife and tugged her towards him.
She smiled smelling the clove in the toothpowder he'd used; he always used the one with cloves at night and peppermint in the morning. The smell of it now made her feel languid and warm.
Within seconds she wasn't thinking of anything but him at that moment.
He murmured, "I love you," in-between kisses and touches.
Oh, she could have so very many clever quips to retort to that, but not now, not tonight, so she simply answered, "I love you too," and continued to show him just how very much.
Thanks for reading!
PS- For those that want to know. There are like 2 epilogues left (Lol. There is the epilogue that I would have followed this chapter with only I deard ALL the complaints about the last fic needing a bit more) and then there is actually a "filler" chapter that I will post after the epilogues that is definitely not needed in the story, but it was in my mind and needed to be cleared from my mind.
