Chapter 32: Yumiko Miura #1


Yumiko Miura was an attractive girl with slightly wavy waist-length blonde hair that has bangs hanging over the left side of her face with curly chest-length tips at the bottom and olive green eyes. She had changed her hairstyle recently. Earlier she used to have bangs hanging over the right side of her face. In her honest opinion it made a world of difference. Unfortunately her boyfriend failed to notice the difference. It's been months now, since the start of the new semester and he hadn't said a thing to her. She had even tried a not so subtle approach, playing with the tips of her hair while engaged in one conversation or the other, but nothing. Honestly what's wrong with her, she wondered to herself.

"You look different."

Yumiko looked at the guy who had just said those words to her. It was none other than him. It made her temper boil a little bit. "Glad you noticed. But it took you nearly a month. Well, at least you beat Hayato at something, Hikio."

Hachiman Hikigaya whom she called Hikio smirked at her words. He was carrying a bunch of canned beverages, no doubt taking them all to the service club. Yumiko spotted Yui's favourite drink. There were three others. The Maxx Coffee was without a doubt his. The other two, well, well, it looks like, Yui finally got a few new club members. Or maybe they were for a client, Yumiko thought again.

"I would love to raise a toast in pleasure of beating your pseudo-boyfriend at something, but I have my hands full at the moment. So, if you could excuse me."

Yumiko Miura reacted fast. Living with temperamental roommates paid off it seems because before he had a chance to blink, Yumiko Miura had snatched a small box of strawberry milk from his loose hold. Hikio's rotten eyes were fast, but his movements were too slow. She didn't give him the time to swipe them back as she put some distance between them.

Now the two of them were at a standoff. Yumiko felt smug and held up the strawberry milk as ransom. Wait, was she being a villain in this scenario, she thought about her situation a second late.

"Really Miura, are we seriously doing this?" Hikio asked. "I mean this is the kind of things bullies in middle school do. I thought I suffered through all that already. And now I find a grown ass women doing this sorta stuff." He shook his head and looked at her with pity. "Are you even an adult, Miura?"

Miura felt really self-conscious. "I mean I'm an adult." She then remembered what Hayato sometimes said about him. Hikio had a way of getting into your head and manipulating you. You won't even realize it until he has what he wants from you. Right, Hikio is the villain here. Wait, how – Miura shook her head. This was turning out to be really confusing.

"Look, I just want to ask you something. You're in the service club right. That makes you duty bound to listen to my problem."

"Wait, you have problems?" Hikio asked.

"Was that sarcasm?" Yumiko asked. "I can't really get it sometimes."

"Huh, I thought, you would never admit it."

"I'm not admitting anything!" Miura blushed. "And, and, I am holding this pack of strawberry milk hostage until you hear what I have to say. Also, after I am done saying my bit, I want an honest response from you. None of those mental tricks and lies you usually use." She tried to intimidate him. It worked. She added the final touch. "Capeesh?"

"I didn't know you were Italian." Hikio said.

Miura binked. "I'm not."

"…Then Giorno Giovanna would like to have a word with you."

Yumiko Miura didn't get him. "Who?"

"Not that's The Doctor."

Yumiko Miura had enough. Her emerald eyes glared down at him with all the might of a python strike. Hikio visibly trembled and took a couple of steps back. It looked like he had forgotten what she could do to scum like him. He was weak before her might. She didn't even have to lift a finger to put him down a peg or two. A look would do it. But from the way he was speaking to her, he deserved more than a frightful look. He deserved her scorn.

"Are you done?"

"…With life?"

The box of strawberry milk got a bit squished in her hand. Hikio looked at it like he understood its pain. He had the most messed up priorities in life. Anyone in his place, standing before her, while she was angry at him would think about nothing else but his own situation. Even Hayato knew not to make her angry, even though she barely lost her temper with him. But Hikio, only Hikio would think about others. And in this case it was a stupid box of strawberry milk.

"Whose this for Hikio?" Yumiko Miura asked.

She gingerly held up the box of strawberry milk in between her finger and dangled it in front of his eyes. She forgot all about his rotten dead fish eyes. They were ugly as ever. But he looked a bit more handsome. A bit more edgy it seems. Of course, he wasn't her type.

"It's for Tomoko Kuroki." Hikio said. "She's a new member of the service club."

The name didn't ring a bell. Miura wanted to know more. "I don't know her. Is she pretty?"

Hikio shrugged. "Well beauty is subjective. Okay, okay, I will stop!" He held up a hand in plea. "Don't squish it like that. The strawberry milk inside will spill out. Then Kuroki will go insane and spout nonsense like I have a thing for flat-chested women."

Yumiko Miura blinked. "You like flat-chested women?" She looked at him like he was the vilest thing in the entire universe. "I didn't know you were a loli-con, Hikio. Ew! I, I, don't know what to say." And she wanted to hear his opinion on a personal matter.

Gross, she thought.

"I'm not into flat-chested women and I'm not a loli-con." He started to mumble to himself. "I knew a day would come when I would have to say this stuff out loud. Wow, feels great to have this weight off my chest. But I could have done better than Miura."

"What?" Miura glowered.

"Nothing!" Hikio started. "Kuroki drinks strawberry milk a lot. She thinks it will help make her breasts bigger." He didn't feel bad selling out his clubmate's secret. Yumiko Miura could have his head, it wasn't even funny. "Of course, I don't think it works and unfortunately, I made the mistake to share my own opinion with her. Now she thinks I don't want her breasts to grow bigger because I am a guy who's into small breasts, her breasts specifically."

Miura blushed out of second hand embarrassment. Talking to Hikio was always a bit of a roller-coaster ride. Or maybe it was more like going up and down a really old elevator without getting out on the floor you want. She really couldn't decide.

"Are you into smaller breasts, though?" Miura asked.

"No! I already answered that, I think." Hikio said.

"What about this Kuroki's breasts?"

Hikio blushed. "What about them?"

Yumiko didn't hesitate. "Are you into them?"

"Not really. I mean, I don't think I am. But then again…" Nothing with Hikio was ever simple. There were no yes or no answers with him, even if the questions were that simple, those of an elementary school level. Seriously, he needed to work on his communicating skills.

Yumiko Miura was not amused. "Then again, what?"

Hikio looked at her forlornly. "I'm a guy."

Right. Men had a thing for breasts, didn't matter the size. How could she ever forget this simple fact about life. Even Hayato, who was far better than your typical guy and way above Hikio in terms of, well, everything, even he sometimes looked at women, when he thought she wasn't looking.

Of course those kinds of moronic behaviours had stopped now because both of them were in a relationship. She wouldn't stand for it and Hayato wasn't that kind of guy. But sometimes she did wonder whether he was really into their relationship, like all in, fully committed, having the same level of feelings, the same depth of emotions and love.

Love.

This is what she wanted to talk to about with Hikio because he was someone who understood Hayato Hayama. Both of them were not friends, not by a long shot. Not even acquaintances. But she didn't know why, what kind of understanding they had, but the two of them really got each other.

Hayato admitted this to her one time. Even though Hikio didn't and neither would he ever. It was not in his character to disclose such kind of information.

But talking about this Tomoko Kuroki's breasts, well that seemed fair game.

"Strawberry milk doesn't help make your breasts grow bigger." Yumiko Miura said.

"And you would know that because?" Hikio asked.

The two of them stood there in the hallway in silence. A moment of clarity seemed to pass and this time around, Hikio had the honesty to turn his head to the side in defeat. It may or may not have something to do with the way Yumiko Miura crossed her arms over her breast.

Her rather large breast.

"Right," Hikio blushed. "Forget I said anything."

Yumiko Miura wouldn't admit it, but she felt rather smug in that entire situation. She might not be getting answers to her query about love and her relationship with Hayato, but she was having one hell of a time getting into Hikio's mind and messing him up. It looks like she was better at it than Hayato.

She felt rather proud about this fact. Maybe she would tell him about this interaction sometime later.

"As, I was saying," Yumiko Miura carried on. "Strawberry milk doesn't do squat. It only helps you grow taller."

"Well, Kuroki is on the shorter side."

"Stop talking Hikio!" Yumiko shouted. "Unless she's a midget and somewhere around 4 feet and 6 inches, I don't think she really gives a damn about her height."

"That's oddly specific."

Miura shrugged. "Victorique de Blois's her name. She's my roommate from hell. Now stop interrupting, Hikio!" Her emerald eyes had a playful glare to them when she said the next words. "What this Kuroki needs are nuts and seeds."

"…" Hikio stood there like an idiot for a couple of minutes.

"Then there's milk and other dairy products. Of course, like I mentioned, nuts. Walnuts, cashews, peanuts -"

"Oh, you meant…those."

Miura ignore him. "-Pecan. Green vegetables. Seafood. Prawns, oysters, shellfish and seaweed. Seeds. Sunflower, anise, pumpkin or flax seeds -"

"…You know, I won't even remember half of this, right?"

Yumiko Miura moved closer, quick on her feet and then smacked him in the shoulder.

"Ow!"

"I will send you a list. Give me your contact details."

"I don't think I would want that list." Hikio said. "You are better off having Kuroki's contact information."

Yumiko raised an eyebrow. "You would just give that out to anyone?"

Hikio looked at her. A lot of things were conveyed through that one look.

"You are not just anyone, Miura."

Yumiko Miura blushed. Dammit. Talking to him was the worst. Why was it that she never had moments like this with Hayato. He was her boyfriend for God's sake. But talking to Hikio like this, she never did feel guilty. He was just a normal guy. Well not really. There was nothing normal about him. He was a weirdo. A lovable weirdo though.

"You are lucky I know a lot of things about this subject. And I'm not too embarrassed to talk about it with a guy like you." Yumiko Miura tried to act smug. She was not blushing, no absolutely not. In fact, she was smirking, proud of her own killer body. "After all, I have nice, big breasts."

"Ehh, Akeno Himejima-san's are bigger."

Yumiko Miura blinked. Then,

"What!?"

He tried to act dumb.

"W-What?"

"What did you say, Hikio?"

Hachiman Hikigaya felt his entire life flash before his eyes. Fear of death makes one act really stupid, say moronic things. He was a mortal man. He was helpless before the woman who was the mighty and enraged Yumiko Miura.

So, Hachiman Hikigaya said the most dumbest thing that came to his mind as she stalked up to him and reached up to grab his shirt collar, ready to strike him with the poison of an emerald eyed python.

"You have fantastic tits, Miura!"


A/N: Okay, let's forget the last chapter ever happened. I was just trying out something. It didn't work out. It was too confusing. Never gonna do it again. From here on out it will be what I love to write and what you love to read.

However it will be a bit different. Also, a slight retcon: Hachiman knows all the cast of Oregairu characters including Saki Kawasaki.

Here are the options for the next chapter:

Option 1: Miura Yumiko #2

Option 2: Moka Akashiya – Rosario+Vampire.

Option 3: Kurumu Kurono – Rosario+Vampire.

Option 4: Shizuka Hiratsuka – Oregairu.

Option 5: Misaka Mikoto – A Certain Magical Index.

Please pick any of the above options or suggest a character in the review section.

You can also send a voter list.

Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter.

Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.

Won't betray your dreams.