Separate

Living in harmony with others takes practice.
Sometimes, it's a matter of compromise,
of sharing space,
of being kind when anger shouts.
Other times, it's untenable.
Loneliness is the world's second worst fate,
But the worst
Is to hide yourself
So others will accept you.

The first apartment is a two bedroom, with ratty carpeting that doesn't quite cover the squeaking boards underneath it, but windows that show a clear view of Mount Nantai in the distance and within walking distance to work. Even now, though, Pearl can hear people talking through the walls.

The third apartment has three bedrooms, new carpeting, new plumbing. It's in the basement, the windows no wider than Pearl's hand, and Marina gets that twitchy look when she's down there looking with Pearl.

The eighth apartment is on the tenth floor of a building that gets narrower as it goes up, resulting in a studio that takes the entire top floor. No neighbors above or on either side to be bothered by any noise she makes, and the cool boards beneath her feet can be soundproofed with enough rugs. The attached bathroom isn't big enough for a tub of any size, and the shower stutters and gasps when she turns it on, but Pearl likes it anyway. She can section off her bed with curtains, if she wants, or a place for a couch and TV, but a piano will fit against that wall and she can put a drum kit next to it and...

And it's two doors down from Marina's building.

Pearl turns to Marina and the realtor, an urchin named Hydra. "When can I move in?

Hydra chuckles. "End of the month. One of the skylights is leaking, and we need to replace it. There's also a bit of paperwork for you to finish before we take that step, young lady."

Pearl nods and lets out a long breath. She looks around the room again. "And I can—I can paint the walls?"

"If you put nails in them, you'll have to fix the holes before moving out, or be charged a fee for us doing it," Hydra rattles off. "Walls have to be painted back to white before you leave. It's all covered in the rental agreement. If you wait two months, we'll be doing some plumbing work, you'll have to clear out for a couple days while we do that if you've already moved in."

Pearl glances sideways at Marina, who nods. Eight's been looking at getting an apartment, sharing it with Three or Four... Pearl doesn't know their real names, hasn't even met Four, they're trying so hard to take the whole 'secret agent' thing seriously when every week one of them grabs Eight to teach Eight what makes ice cream ice cream or exactly what 'fresh' means. "I'll have a place to stay when you do that," Pearl says.

"Right, then," Hydra says. "You can stay up here and look around some more, if you'd like; I'll head back to the office and get the paperwork ready." Hydra glances between them. "Will it be the both of you moving in?"

"Just Pearl," Marina says. "But she's never done this before."

Pearl helped Marina read the ads, but Marina insisted on doing it all herself both times. Marina doesn't get to help her with many things, outside of music and... scratch that. Marina doesn't feel like she gets to help Pearl with many stereotypical, normal aspects of Inkling life, like moving out. She's probably enjoying being the knowledgeable one.

But Hydra nods again and heads out the door, to the little landing that's just elevator and stairs and lock, and Pearl looks around again.

Marina puts a hand on Pearl's shoulder and squeezes. "I've gotta use the bathroom," she says, and goes inside, closes the door.

Pearl looks around. She walks to the far wall, away from the door, and puts her hand on it. Walks along the wall, letting her hand just... trail along it as she goes. She reaches the corner and turns, still walking along the wall.

She stops halfway through her second circuit of the room and pulls off her boots, and her socks. She puts her feet on the cool floor and wiggles her toes, feeling the smoothness, the coolness. She keeps walking. Some spots of roughness against the bottoms of her feet. A couple knot-holes. None of it would be allowed in her parent's house.

Pearl steps into the middle of the room and turns a slow circle, looking around. The faded, grungy paint. Above her, skylights. Almost the entire ceiling is made up of skylights; they don't have covers, Pearl will always be able to look up at the sun or the stars, and—and her parents would insist on covers, if there were skylights, if they weren't kitschy. If Pearl'd ever tried to install some they'd've gotten rid of them, but they're here already and they're hers.

In a few weeks, everything in this room will be hers. Sure, there are limits. She can't burn the building down. She has to be courteous of her neighbors. All things she would do anyway. If she weren't living with her parents.

Pearl lies down on the floor and spreads out her arms and legs, presses her palms and fingers to the ground (it's too solid she can't grab it but she'd like to) and spreads out her tentacles. Hers. No one knocking at her door in the middle of the night, bursting in and she's obliged to answer and be courteous and behave specific ways or be lectured and have things taken away she may have to replace. No disappointment because she's not—not existing in the proper way of the house. She lays there, something inside her stretching and uncurling that she didn't know was cramped, and breathes for the first time in... Pearl doesn't even know how long.

The sound of a flush. Marina comes out of the bathroom. She looks at Pearl, sits down next to her, pulls out a handkerchief, and wipes away the tears beneath Pearl's eyes. "You don't have to explain," Marina says. "I remember what it's like."

"It was different for you," Pearl says. "My life at home was never really bad, just..."

"Just you have to leave to be you," Marina says, "which means you were never really you before. I'll help you pack and say goodbye to Scale and Conch. Have you told your parents yet?"

Scale and Conch. Pearl doesn't know those names, but she bets she knows who they are: the driver who's been with her over two years and the butler Marina's interacted with regularly, the only person always in the house with Pearl. She can finally learn their names.

Pearl isn't ready to leave the floor yet. "Haven't told them yet. I'm considering not telling them. Just seeing how long it takes for them to realize I'm gone."

"You do that, they'll think they've been robbed," Marina points out. "Since you're not just taking your room, but most of the music studio."

Pearl sighs. "Can I just leave a note?"

"Absolutely," Marina says. "And I'll come with you, in case they read it before you get out of there."

That's good enough for Pearl. She sighs one more time, then peels herself off the floor. "All right," she says. "I'm ready."