Author's Notes: Just another quick batch of updates. I hope everyone is safe and well. Onto the story!

Disclaimer: Yep, you know it but I have to say it. Don't own Star Wars. Just play in their world.

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"I am forever caught between

saying too much and

not saying enough

with words

I have no balance

I drip

and I pour

leave you empty

or overflowing

my mind like a tide

either holding back

or all waves rolling

(was it my drought or my flood that sent you running?)"

-G.H.

Kylo Ren

Her eyes glance back and forth between the dagger and myself, her stance aggressive.

What is she thinking?

The bond is fractious, her emotions fluctuating so there is only chaos in my head.

She looks to me and there is no rage, only a hollow light that makes it hard to breathe. I thought I knew her but I feel as if I'm staring at a stranger.

"You said that we're a Dyad right? Two that are One?"

It sounds like a question but her inflection makes me feel as if I am being tested.

I can't fathom her mind or what is prompting her to be so cold towards me.

"That's right. Where are you going with this?"

I told her about being a Dyad so she would understand that it is sustained by both of us. It's not a manipulation or a deception.

It's real because we make each other stronger.

"So if you can access my memories, my feelings, then the reverse should also hold true."

She murmurs as if speaking to herself but her eyes are fixated on the dagger.

There is a prickling in my gut, a sense of unease as if I'm walking a knife's edge with her.

She lifts the dagger high enough that it covers her eyes. I can see the shape of her mouth moving but she isn't speaking.

My sense of unease returns twofold.

"Rey what are you doing?"

Slowly I move my hand, intending on snatching the dagger from her grip. It will enrage her but I would rather have her anger than this antipathy she is directing at me.

"Finding out why you're lying to me."

My concentration falters. I wasn't expecting that sort of answer. Just what am I suppose to have lied about this time?

"I never lied to you."

Yes, I've held back information but only because I'm trying to protect her. If this has something to do with her parents death...

The blade lowers by half an inch and I can see her eyes. No longer flat and devoid of emotion, my breath catches and thoughts of taking the dagger from her are lost.

She has that same look when she left me on Emphameira.

Bewildering loss. As if somehow I have failed her.

"Everyone lies Ren but I wanted you to be the exception."

Gentle words, a sigh of regret and I've lost my mental footing.

Why...why is she calling me Ren?

Why does it feel like she's saying...goodbye.

"Rey..."

Apologies crowding my tongue though I don't know what I'm apologizing for. All I know is that I'm losing her.

"Stop," I flinch to hear that razor's edge in her voice, clenching my fist in an effort to not do something that we will both regret, "I'm going to get answers whether you like it or not." She has a white-knuckled grip on that dagger, "So if you haven't been lying to me this entire time then you have nothing to fear when I read what is written."

I spent seven years being trained by Snoke, learning the dark side of the Force and even now there are gaps in my knowledge regarding the Sith. I can read Sith but only after grueling years of study and piecing together a forgotten language.

She expects to do the same in a matter of hours? Impossible.

"You cannot read Sith runes remember?" This is the flaw in her plan and I am quick to exploit it, "That's why you came to me."

It's what lead to her capture on Pasaana. She wanted information only I could give her.

She narrows her eyes, fractal amber turning to burning topaz and a hard, tight smile on her lips that promises me trouble of the worst kind.

"Yes and now that you've translated them, I can read them."

I blink at her rather obscure explanation until I feel the slightest brush of her thoughts against my own.

Sparks of light, a hazy warmth that leaves me unbalanced when I realize what she's doing.

So, that's what she meant.

She can't read Sith, that's impossible without training, but I have that training and she's tapping into my knowledge.

Using our bond as a conduit.

"The Emperor's wayfinder is sealed inside the imperial vault. At Delta 3-6, Transient bearing 3-2 on a moon in the Endor System. From the southern shore only this blade tells..."

I close my eyes when my theory is proven and she speaks the words that I translated hours ago.

Was it only hours? Feels more like years.

"From this southern shore only this blade tells..."

She repeats the last line and I sigh. It seems that I couldn't hide everything from her after all. I wanted to keep her from finding the wayfinder at any cost.

The dagger drops and there is righteous fury in her blazing eyes.

It appears I'm about to pay that cost for my slight deception.

"You lied to me."

She wants this fight, I can feel her anger grinding my bones.

No point in trying to reason or explain my actions. She won't listen, won't believe anything I say.

Her mind is made up and now I am the villain.

Looks like our path is going to be forged of thorns and blood.

Fine. If she wants to walk this path then I don't mind shedding a bit of blood in the process if that's what it will take to get her to listen.

"No I didn't."

I lean against the wall, crossing my arms.

Her eyes spark dangerously at my nonchalance that I definitely don't feel but it's keeping her guessing.

"Yes you did!" Her anger nearly tangible as she points the tip of the dagger at me, "you didn't tell me that my friends need this dagger in order to find the wayfinder!"

So that's where this anger is stemming from. Her friends. I might have guessed. Even when she's with me, she isn't with me.

"Why should that make a difference?"

I watch her take a step back, faltering when I don't rise to the bait of her anger, uncertainty waging war with her conviction.

She came to me. She left them behind and took my hand. The fact that she is still thinking about them, about that useless mission my mother inspired is stroking the embers of my temper.

"The only information you cared about was the coordinates." I stare her down and drop my arms. I'm tired of defending myself, of her constantly questioning my actions, "Did I lie about that?"

"No you didn't." Bitterness and something close to regret when she looks at me, "But you deliberately held back. I sent my friends on a mission that they have no hope of completing without this dagger."

True. I knew that the moment I deciphered those runes. I also knew if I told her the complete translation she would never have stayed.

She would have gone running back to them, believing that my mother's plan would win them the war.

The only thing the wayfinder will bring her is death.

That is not the future I planned for us.

She's closed her eyes and I can feel her weariness. She is as tired of this conflict, of these never ending battles as much as I am.

Maybe now she'll listen to reason with her defenses down.

"It was futile from the start." I know Rey adores my mother, the great General Organa, but that woman is just as fallible as the rest of us, "You should have realized that Rey."

She snaps her eyes open and stares at me with despair and it's time to put this behind us. Surely she can see by now that what I did...I did to protect her.

I never meant to hurt her but this is war. It's either her life or that of her friends. I'm choosing her.

The Resistance is done for. It's time she realized the galaxy is not always black and white.

I walk towards her a lift my hand to touch her skin, wanting to take away her despair. To reassure her that she has my undying loyalty and that she just needs to trust me.

She slaps my hand away, the sting of her rejection making me stumble back.

She...why is she rejecting me?

"No! You don't get to touch me!"

Rage and guilt breaks her voice and she has that look again.

The look of one who is beholding an enemy.

Her stance is aggressive, her foot sliding backwards and I sense the coiled tension inside of her.

But I can't think. My mind in chaos that she's rejecting me.

She took my hand. She stayed. So then why...

"What are you doing?"

Why is she turning against me? Doesn't she realize that everything I'm doing is for her? For us. So that we can live and finally be together.

But I see nothing close to understanding in her flinty gaze.

Only anger and resentment.

"Leaving."

A clipped word and she's already moving, racing for the door and too late I understand what she was planning.

"Rey!"

She's running for me.

Again.

No! I won't allow her to escape and I thrust out my hand, using the Force to bar her way but she's just as fast as I am.

Our combined power slams into the door and I hear the scream of metal as it buckles.

The door is nothing more than crushed metal and she slips between the cracks.

Her clothing catches but even that doesn't stop her and she out before I cross the hall.

I smell iron in the air, the scent of blood. I look down at a jagged edge and see it covered in a crimson stain.

Rey wounded herself when she forced her way through.

She was that desperate to get away.

The sight of her blood ignites my rage and I use the Force and pull the door from its mounting, shoving it behind me so I can pass through and go after Rey.

She's not leaving this ship.

I see the trail of blood she's left behind, tiny drops of red that look like rain. Officers and personnel picking themselves up from off the floor, dazed and confused.

Her anger is making her stronger, tapping into the dark side of the Force.

I have to stop and think. My emotions are clouding my judgment and I cannot go chasing after her blindly.

I need to think like Rey.

I tap the comm on the nearest wall.

"I want guards to Hanger J19 now. The scavenger is going for a ship. Stun her but do not harm her."

That hanger was the nearest docking station and since she has been rummaging around inside my head she has that information.

I need to head her off. If she gets to a ship...

No. She staying with me, I won't let her die on some desolate battlefield or fall into the emperor's hands.

He has a hidden agenda regarding Rey, I just haven't figured out all it entails.

Command K'Tath is at my side.

"Supreme Leader your orders?"

"Send troops to seal off Hangers K17 and I13. I will attend J19 myself. Go now."

There is a possibility that she might double back, go to one of the other hangers but I think not.

She's being blinded by her emotions regarding her friends. She'll take the most direct path.

Not again Rey. Not this time.

I'm close. I can feel her agitation, her rage burning in the back of my mind.

I'm reaching for her, trying to get her attention but she's ignoring me.

Fine. It looks like we're doing this the hard way.

I run for the hanger when I hear the sound of blaster bolts and bodies hitting walls.

Rey is already in a TIE fighter, the hatch closing around her.

The faint shimmer around the hull tells me she activated the shielding.

Damn it! The only way I'm going to get her now is by tearing that ship apart. I can but she is already hurt and I...I can't chance injuring her any further.

I look up at the cockpit and just for a second our eyes meet and I feel her emotions as if they are my own.

Guilt that quickly gives way to anger and beneath that, a wrenching loss that halts my pursuit.

She's running from me and yet I still sense her hesitation, as if there's a part of her that desperately wants to stay.

The TIE turns, guns pointed at the air lock and I know she's going to blow the doors. It's her only means of escape.

I can't speak openly to her, the roar of the engines would simply drown out my words.

But she and I have more than one way to communicate.

You're running again.

I don't bother to hide my anger, my disappointment. I thought we had moved past all of this.

Not running. Taking a stand. For the Resistance. For my friends.

Hollow words without any depth. Such pretty lies she tells herself.

Anger churns in my gut at her hypocrisy.

I motion for my troopers to fan out, she hasn't blown the doors yet.

You speak to me of lies and yet here you are, doing the same thing.

Her temper spiking, washing my vision red.

I never lied to you Kylo Ren.

Snarling protest, threads of desperation when she calls out that name just before the room explodes.

She's blown the hatch and my troops scramble to find a foothold as the pressure sends them flying.

The Force is my ally and I ground myself against the gale her blast created.

The TIE hasn't left and her hesitation tells me she is still listening to me.

I have one last chance to reach her. To stop her from making the same mistake over again.

You took my hand. You promised to stay by my side and where are you now?

We were suppose to walk this path together. Side by side. No longer familiar strangers or enemies.

She is the only light in my dark life.

So we both lied, you hurt me and I hurt you. Guess that makes us enemies again.

Such cold rage as I have only heard from her once, long ago and I recoil at the scorn ablaze in my mind.

The TIE roars and she is seconds from escaping.

Rey! This isn't over between us!

How long does she think she can run? This war is drawing to its conclusion, she will not be able to hide any longer.

If you follow me Ren, you better be prepared to kill me.

Bitter words I never thought I would be forced to hear and she has shattered something inside of me and I drop to one knee.

Kill her? This is the path she has chosen to walk?

Dappled sunlight in my veins, the single tendril of a midnight bloom flowing around my soul.

You are a Sith and I...I am a Jedi.

Her last words caressing my mind, I drown in her despair just before she slams her mental shields, thrusting me out.

The pain of our bond now blocked stabs needles into my brain and I bite down hard on my lip to stop the scream choking my throat.

I taste blood and look up to see the TIE disappear into the cold, rolling black of space.

She's gone.

I have no need to track her, I already know her destination.

The moon called Kef Bir in the Endor System.

I'm on my feet, using the Force to activate the force field and return pressure to the room.

"Lord Ren, a TIE has been spotted on the starboard side, do we pursue?"

"No," I wipe the blood from my nose, "let her go."

"But Sir-"

"I said let her go."

So I am a Sith to her now?

Very well. Show me just how much of the Jedi you have truly embraced.

I am not someone to be trifled with and by the time this war has ended she will understand why I am called the Jedi Killer.