CW: manipulation, horcruxes, PSTD, abusive families, chosen families

:FORTY-FOUR:

The two of them moped around for the first evening as empty-nesters once again. Though Remus and Sirius were happy to take on this burden so Harry wouldn't have to, it didn't mean that they wouldn't procrastinate doing it. At least for one evening.

Remus woke Sirius up early the next morning though, prompting him to dress especially nice and questioning him on how to best go about the interaction at Gringotts. They had decided to have Sirius go alone, as Remus might complicate things more. But it made Remus anxious, thinking of his partner going into that situation by himself.

"It will be okay," Sirius assured Remus for what felt like the hundredth time. "I've got a basilisk fang with me, so I won't even need to take anything out of the vault."

For the first and last time, Sirius was grateful for how closely related all of the Pureblood families were. He was also grateful that they'd had the foresight to ask for a couple basilisk fangs during their last meeting with Dumbledore. This way, they would be able to handle the horcruxes they found immediately instead of carrying them about until they could get to Hogwarts.

"I know," Remus fretted over his breakfast. "I'm just anxious. Maybe I'll feel better once I start researching. I dunno how helpful your home's libraries will be for Ravenclaw-related history, but it's at least a place to start."

The two men separated at the entrance to their flat, kissing each other before apparating to their separate destinations. Remus spent the whole morning organizing history books and making piles based on how likely they were to have helpful information. Without Sirius there, he was also able to better clean and organize all of their previous work. But he worried in the back of his mind until Sirius returned.

Sirius, on the other side of London, was bracing himself for the Gringotts visit. He hadn't used his 'Pureblood' mask in so long that he almost wondered if he'd be able to pull it off. But trauma didn't just vanish, and Sirius found himself sliding into the mask of the perfect son the minute his feet crossed the marble threshold.

He confidently walked up to the counter, where an older goblin was waiting to help their next client.

"Good morning," Sirius began, already internally cursing himself. Purebloods don't say 'good morning' to goblins, Sirius!

The goblin's eyes narrowed in suspicion, but he simply replied. "How may I help you?"

"I wish to enter my cousin's vault," Sirius said carefully. "Is there a more private location we may speak? I wish to be discreet."

The goblin inclined his head slightly to the right, then stepped down from the counter and led him to a private office. Only once the door was closed did the goblin ask.

"Whom am I speaking to, then?" The goblin questioned, taking a seat at their desk. "And whose vault do you wish to enter?"

"Sirius Orion Black." Sirius' mouth tasted bitter just saying his full name, but he crushed down his feelings and continued. "And I wish to enter Bellatrix Black-Lestrange's vault."

The goblin's eyes widened slightly at the request, but he simply slid over a piece of parchment and a small blade.

"I will need some blood to confirm your claim, Master Black." The goblin smiled politely. "You understand."

"Certainly." Sirius pricked one finger and carefully applied it to the parchment.

They both watched as his heritage appeared in the same shade as his blood, taking up most of the page in neat lines. Being a Black meant also having a claim to nearly all of the old money families, something that still turned Sirius' stomach. However, he was only interested in the one that appeared with Bellatrix's name on it. All of the vaults that were active and could not be touched by him were darker, but Bellatrix's, along with a few Black vaults, were bright.

"Very well." The goblin nodded. "This should suffice. Follow me, please."

They walked down to the carts, where the goblin took him on the massive roller-coaster ride down to the bottom of Gringotts. Sirius looked away as they used the clankers to get past the dragon, and then they were at the vault's entrance. The goblin used his hand to open up the door, then gestured for Sirius to follow him inside.

"Will you be requiring a satchel for your items?" The goblin inquired, seeming totally disinterested in the gold around himself.

"No," Sirius shook his head. "I don't wish to take anything out."

The goblin nodded, standing to the side. Sirius browsed, looking for the cup or the diadem Dumbledore described. Eventually, he saw it. The golden, nondescript-looking, cup just sitting up there on a shelf. He just stared at it for several minutes, trying to breathe. Sirius knew why he'd come there, knew that he'd wanted to find this horcrux so he could destroy it. But now that he was here...he was terrified.

I'm doing this for Harry.

Sirius straightened up, taking a deep breath, and walked over to the shelf with a confidence he didn't actually possess. He took the cup off of the shelf and turned back to the goblin. He didn't want to expose the goblin to the darkness inside the horcrux. Even knowing what was going to happen, Sirius had felt overwhelmed when they destroyed the last ones in the chamber.

"Would you mind giving me some privacy?" He asked. "I'll be out in a moment."

The goblin nodded, taking a few steps back and out of the entrance. Sirius turned back to the horcrux, taking out the basilisk fang and kneeling down. He could feel the magic buzzing angrily inside the object, making his hand shake. But it had to be done - he had to do this for Harry and all of the other people Voldemort hurt.

Screwing up his face, Sirius brought the fang down on the cup, puncturing a hole through the center.

It was anticlimactic at first, but then the air seemed impossibly thick, like it had been turned into water. Sirius couldn't breathe, clawing his way back out of the open air and slamming the vault shut. He heard a low popping sound, followed by a rushing noise as the friction on the other side of the door released.

Sirius grinned, letting out a small hysterical giggle. He pocketed the basilisk fang and stood back up, brushing himself off. He turned to the goblin, unable to hide the grin on his face.

"Thank you," He said sincerely. "That was all I needed today. We can go back up now."

The goblin nodded, for all the world seeming totally unimpressed by what just happened. He just navigated them back up to the sunlight, waving Sirius off as just another client he had to deal with during the day.

Sirius continued to laugh, borderline hysterically, all the way to a cab. He didn't trust himself to apparate right then, so he took the long way to 12 Grimmauld Place. Not even one day since Harry had left and he was out killing horcruxes. Sirius shook his head in disbelief - that whole thing was just so easy - after all that planning and all that worrying. And of course, his heritage is what made it all so easy.

He felt a wash of memories run through his mind. How his family's money and heritage were constantly thrown in his face. It all got so much worse when he was sorted into Gryffindor, when it became even more obvious how much he didn't belong. But who takes pity on the rich boy with so many resources? How could he explain feeling like a black sheep in a home with some of the blackest souls Sirius had ever seen?

"We're here, sir." The cabman said in a gruff voice.

"Yeah," Sirius brushed away the tears that he hadn't realized were on his face, paying the cabman and getting out.

He entered 12 Grimmauld Place, trying desperately to keep himself under control. To ignore all of the memories that were coming up as he walked down the halls he grew up in. And, finally, he found Remus.

"Hullo, love." Remus said, his back turned to Sirius as he shuffled through books. "I've got quite a good start on these - I think this book on the Founders of Hogwarts will be perfect…"

His voice trailed off as he caught sight of Sirius. He gazed into Sirius' eyes, understanding flashing across his face.

"You found it, didn't you?" He murmured quietly.

Sirius just nodded, not knowing what to say. He was afraid of himself honestly, afraid that all of these memories he kept caged in were going to burst out. This house felt suffocating, like a cage he couldn't ever escape from because it was in his blood.

Remus crossed over to him, taking his hands and guiding him back out of the house.

"Where are we going, Remus?" Sirius questioned, following behind him even though he was confused.

"We're getting out of here." Remus replied firmly. "We're going home and we're not coming back for a while at least."

He apparated them back to the flat, leading Sirius inside and pushing him onto the couch.

"I'm going to make some tea." He said softly, kissing Sirius before he left the room.

Sirius just sat there, looking at the flat but not really seeing anything. He jerked in surprise when Remus returned, setting the tea on the coffee table and holding him close.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Remus whispered quietly.

"...I don't know." Sirius replied. "Remus…"

He pushed Remus away, looking him in the eyes.

"How can you love me, Remus?" Sirius' voice shook, not wanting to ask but needing to know. "My family are monsters, I feel like a monster, how can you love me?"

Remus' eyes filled with tears as he looked at the conviction on Sirius' face. He'd been afraid of this, of having Sirius use his heritage to get into Gringotts. Remus knew it was nearly impossible to break into Gringotts, but he would rather have done that than see how broken Sirius looked right now.

"I can love you, Sirius, and I do love you." Remus reached out, but didn't touch Sirius for fear he'd trigger his partner more. "I'm right here, and I'm never going to leave you."

He let out a watery laugh. "The whole world thinks I'm a monster, Sirius. But you don't. And that's all I'll ever need. Let me be enough too - let me be enough to prove that you are not the monster your family is and made you out to be."

Sirius held back a moment longer, then crashed into Remus' arms and sobbed. And Remus held him, listening to his partner and praying that he could take even some of the pain away. He listened as Sirius sobbed out the memories engraved in his mind, held him until the tears ran dry and then fell into an exhausted sleep.

It had been a hellish start, but they believed that, someday, it would get better. They had to.

Notes:

Not me crying because I made my characters cry. It will get better, my favorite family!

But anyway, I'm sorry I didn't write yesterday - I accidentally ate nuts and had a ~fun~ reaction so I had to sleep that off. I'm all good now though, so back to business.

Happy Reading!