CHAPTER 45: Avengers: Age Of All The Memes
(Happy Valentine's Day! Have some memes.)
(FANDOMS: Avengers: Age Of Ultron, Spiderman.)
It was the perfect plan! Humanity couldn't take care of itself, this was inevitable. He was just expediting the process.
Once Ultron made it to a temporary base of operations, he decided to continue going through what the humans called the internet. The more he looked, the more he was set in his plan. If they had the will and brain, others would too, if they had seen things like 'r/awfuleverything' and 'r/gatchalifecringe'.
Then, he found the memes.
Everything from vines and getting rickrolled to stores that are everywhere. He found them.
He suddenly couldn't wait for it to be 2 am where he was, just so he could go on the hunt for BEANS.
And then it was 2 am, and he went out looking for BEANS. Sadly, he didn't have 'the boys' with him, unless you count the multiple bodies he was in control of.
Then, he came across a store that he had read about. Dollar General, the store that was everywhere. He couldn't resist the meme, no matter how mild.
When Ultron entered, his first action was to scan all the inhabitants. The sole occupant, the employee, wasn't human. Well, that was new. But, he had a goal already, and he'd double-cross that bridge when he burned it.
He found the BEANS and then proceeded to get all that the store had.
Going up to the front, he finally opened the can of worms that was the employee's biological makeup. Not literally as that would be impolite and he didn't want to be a Karen, his name was Ultron, unless he was making a dad joke.
"So," He started, "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
The employee looked at him with dead eyes. "African or European?"
Ultron smiled, "If you don't mind me asking, what type of creature are you? You're not human."
"Nunya." the employee stated as someone else entered the store.
"None of my business then? Then tell me, as I don't quite get this joke, mainly as I only heard part of it. Why does Johnny have 19 bottles of dish soap?"
"I don't know, why does Johnny have 19 bottles of dish soap?" The employee was having a really bad day.
"MIND YO BUSINESS DAVID!" A young voice yelled from a back aisle in the store.
Ultron looked as a young human male came from a back aisle to get in line.
"I would ask what's with the beans, but I think a better question would be where are the boys?"
"And you would be right to ask that, as it is 2 am. The answer is that only today have I come across this form of humor and no one I know understands it."
"Well, now you do, my name's Peter Parker." The man — boy, rather — extended his hand.
Ultron looked at the hand, then reached out to shake it, "I am called Ultron."
Peter smiled up at him, saying, "Hey, I have a computer. Why don't we go back to my place, and we can look at more memes! Aunt May can even bake us cookies!"
(Get your mind out of the gutter; Author-sama is already there.)
With plans hashed out, Ultron used Tony's credit card number to pay for the BEANS and Peter's purchases. As the two left, the employee's face met the counter.
"Did the plot just get derailed because of memes?"
! #$%^&*()
"Uh, guys?"
"Yes, Stark?"
"I found Ultron. He just bought $250 of beans at the Dollar General in Astoria."
(The Dollar General is that universe's version of the one in Chapter 30, the TMNT one. Yes, the plot goes on from here, but this is another one we'll leave up to you.)
