The Unexpected Invitee
Five Months and Twelve Days since the Last Death (Nine Deaths)
When he woke up that morning, after a short nap following his morning training, what Subaru least expected was to find out that a rival of Anastasia's was about to arrive at the mansion; even less, that this rival was Emilia. Dizzy from the lack of sleep and the surprise, Subaru stared at the guard who had relayed that information to him.
"Emilia-sama, you say?" Subaru asked, seeking to corroborate the information he had just learned; he needed to make sure that fatigue was not causing him to hear things that were not real.
"That's correct, Subaru-sama. Boss Lady instructed me to notify ya 'bout it once ya awakened. She hopes that ya can accompany her durin' the reception of the lady candidate of the Royal Selection." The guard's words had been clear, there was no way he had misheard them.
"In that case I should probably head to the baths right away. If you'll excuse me..." With a wave of his hand, Subaru signaled to the guard that he would leave immediately.
"Of course, Subaru-sama! I'll convey yer reply to the young lady and then go guard the entrance ta the baths as soon as possible."
"Th-thank you..." Listlessly, Subaru thanked the guard, and then walked away from him. And it wasn't until he turned right at the end of the corridor, that Subaru dropped any facade and began to run down the long hallways of the mansion. He needed to get away, he needed to escape...
Only when he finally reached the baths was Subaru able to pause and take a breather. He had had so much on his mind lately, and now such a thing was happening. Considering that he had allied himself with Anastasia Hoshin, one of the candidates of the Royal Selection, Subaru had already contemplated the possibility of meeting with her; with the person who represented the true beginning of the painful path he was traveling.
Subaru knew that he would eventually be reunited with Emilia, the girl who reached out to him when no one else would. But he had always seen it as something distant, an event that would take place years in the future. However, it was easy to forget that it had already been more than a year since his arrival in that world.
"I can't breakdown now... I pledged not to keep on showing my weak side, my pathetic self." He whispered to himself, forcing himself to regain control over his emotions.
Since he had not inquired about it from the mercenary who was acting as his bodyguard, Subaru did not know Emilia's arrival time. It could be in the next hour, or at the end of the day. The truth was that it did not matter, since it was inconsequential to him. In any case, he needed to calm his mind by the time he left that bathroom, he must get his thoughts straight before he finally decided to leave that place that was functioning as his refuge.
When he reunited with Emilia, he would have to behave as if he had never met her before. That was the reality he was living in; that was the world that had arisen from his decision to disengage from whatever happened with her, Felt, Old Man Rom and Elsa. Emilia and Subaru had never met in that timeline, in that dimension, in that world; no matter which one it really was, nothing would change that, by rejecting his promise, he refused to meet her.
Once he had calmed down, he entered the bathtub filled with water heated by a Lagmite. He let himself be carried away by the sensation of the warm water soaking his body and the steam skimming his skin, while his mind, as well as the mist that was beginning to blanket the bath, slowly drifted away from his body. This is the path I chose; it's all he could think about as he washed his body, completely absent of his surroundings.
" I'm glad to see ya decided to join us." Anastasia said, greeting him with a warm smile; one that Subaru only managed to reciprocate with one of his own, which was feigned and looked more like a grimace of pain than a smile. "Don't look at me like that. If ya didn't wanna attend, ya didn't have ta. You've been complyin' with what I asked ya to do, so I thought this would be a good opportunity for ya... But ya really don't need to push yerself just because I asked ya ta. The contract we signed doesn't force ya to be part of my camp, after all."
"It isn't like that, Anastasia... I'm just tired, that's all." Shaking his head slightly, Subaru remarked Anastasia's hasty conclusion as erroneous; though she was not entirely wrong. He had failed to hide his weakness again, and now he had to make amends for this with his words lacking in conviction. "I've been making an effort to work less on my designs, but that won't change that I'm still having recurring nightmares..." So, to sound more convincing, he opted to employ a half-truth.
"Hmm... If ya aren't feelin' well, ya may leave." She instructed him, after a small lapse of time in silence.
"If so, I will, thanks." Therewith, Subaru stepped into the hall of the mansion, and as he did so he could smell a pleasant aroma that he couldn't recognize, though it wasn't the first time he had smelled it. After all, it was the scent that normally tended to waft about when Anastasia was preparing to receive visitors of great importance. Subaru had simply never bothered to ask what brought it about…
"Hey, Su-san! I haven't seen ya since we arrived from Kararagi." Subaru had not finished traversing the threshold leading to the foyer, when he was greeted by a cheerful demi-human dressed in a kimono even though they were not in Kararagi.
"Hal-san... How you been?" Insouciantly, Subaru greeted his ally, as he scanned the room with his gaze and walked into the room.
"You don't have to be so cold, Su-san. Didn't you miss me?" Feigning resentment, Halibel complained to Subaru for his lack of emotion in greeting him.
"I've been busy, so I haven't exactly had time for that kind of thing." Subaru replied, not looking at him.
Subaru was not mad at Halibel, neither was he disgusted by the presence of his ally. However, seeing him reminded him of those words he said to him when he asked to serve him in the shadows. " I really want to be alongside you when you change the world "; they were words of expectation. Subaru did not believe he lived up to those expectations, and it made him feel unworthy of Halibel's support.
If I'm going to change the world, it actually could be for the worse; he thought, remembering how his inventions were beginning to cause a stir in the markets of Lugunica. Halibel was indeed convinced that he would change the world, and that made him even more afraid that a bad decision would lead him down a really thorny path. Therefore, Subaru felt more comfortable thinking of him as a member of the Fang of Iron, and not as his ally...
Subaru had accepted Halibel's offer of support because of the Oni girl's recent attack, and after a couple of months for thinking about it, he had already begun to regret that decision. It was in that frame of mind that the reunion between Halibel and him took place. Ever since the Hoshin Company convoy crossed the border between Lugunica and Kararagi, Subaru had not stopped longing for the absence of his most powerful ally.
Without a doubt he would come to need him, Halibel's support could very well be a matter of life and death. But what Subaru really wanted was not a powerful bodyguard; Subaru wanted to stop depending on others. Ever since he had come to this world, he had been a parasite, and even before that. Subaru wanted to overcome his weaknesses, not hide them under the presence of Kararagi's mightiest warrior.
Subaru hoped that upon returning to Anastasia's mansion in Kyo, there would still be no word from Halibel; but fate, bastard as it was, had other plans for him. Halibel had found nothing in Zarestia's Bed; the place was desolate, only the corpses of those who dared to enter there and the terrible winds that ravaged it, served as a reminder that it was not just any cave.
Halibel, thereupon, left the jewel that the Oni girl had held and went out in search of information. Tia; that's all he got. An aggressive girl who was in search of something, a girl who fitted Zarestia's description, a girl who looked like the Oni girl had before she was doused in liquor.
Halibel tried to track down the girl named Tia, but, to his surprise, she was basically untraceable. After a month of searching, and having completely lost track of the girl, Halibel opted to leave things as they were. After all, he had not heard again of any attacks that could be related to Zarestia or the power of the jewel, and the name "Tia" had no longer been uttered.
The Shinobi warrior had finished his mission, and it had proved fruitless. "If something comes up again, I'll go back to check it out, but for now I don't think I'll be of much use here..."; is what Halibel had told Anastasia, Ricardo and Subaru, after reporting what had happened during his search for clues about the Oni's attack. And so, Halibel joined the Fang of Iron.
There was a presentation, one in which Ricardo spoke of the strength of his organization, one in which he gloated about the enormous influence of the Fang of Iron, one in which he promised that they would never fail again; one in which Subaru did not attend. It was all a farce, after all... After Halibel's introduction as a new member of the Fang of Iron, Anastasia expressed gratitude to Subaru, gratitude that Subaru did not want to receive, gratitude that he did not think he deserved... It was indeed nothing but a farce.
The relocation of part of the Hoshin Trading Company to Lugunica was an ideal excuse to avoid Halibel, he now had his responsibilities within the Fang of Iron, and although he was not directly under the chain of command of the organization, it did not change the fact that he was just another employee of Anastasia Hoshin. And Subaru, for his part, had his own responsibilities related to the company's design department.
Upon returning to Lugunica, the previous excuse morphed into the fact that now he almost never left his room; while in Kararagi his routine was similar, but due to the relocation, he had found it necessary to leave the mansion more often than usual. Even so, Halibel always seemed interested in approaching him whenever they crossed paths.
Had he perhaps had something important to convey to him? Subaru was sure that, if that was the case, it was not something important enough, as Halibel had never appeared particularly anxious about their lack of interactions. As long as Subaru was training, as long as he was getting closer to his goal, Halibel would not be needed. Subaru truly wished to never depend on the shinobi warrior, for if such a day were to come, it would mean that he would be involved in the worst of situations. And Subaru could not be sure that his mind would be able to deal with the trauma of living through another cycle of death...
"Hmm... You haven't been avoidin' me, have ya, Su-san?" Halibel, however, didn't seem willing to budge on the matter. Subaru had decided to distance himself from the shinobi, so as to escape the emotional burden of his presence alone, and now that had come back to bite him in the ass.
"Don't take it too personally, he does it ta all those around him!" Before Subaru found it necessary to excuse himself again, a thunderous voice chimed in, getting him out of his predicament.
"Do ya think so, Ricardo? Don't cha think the boy is bein' a little too ungrateful to me, who saved him from a critical situation?" With a tone that oscillated between sincere, sarcastic and teasing, Halibel faced the Fang of Iron captain, who had approached them.
"Nah! He struck the final blow in the end, so he can do whatever he wants!" Retorted Ricardo mockingly, as he gave Halibel a pat on the back. "By the way, boy, I thank ya once again for convincin' him to join us. Lately we've had to... get rid of some commercial enemies who were no longer willin' to abide by the trade treaties; and Halibel has been extremely helpful. Had it not been for him, it's probable that the job wouldn't have been as 'clean' as it turned out to be."
"I've already told ya umpteen times, I didn't do anything..." Subaru said, apathetically. And although Ricardo's only response to his words was a thunderous laugh, Subaru could perceive Halibel's piercing gaze on him; the Shinobi wasn't going to say it, but the truth was that what had come out of Subaru's mouth was nothing but a huge falsehood. This caused Subaru to turn to face Halibel and scowled at him.
"Ricardo, don't you think Su-san undervalues himself too much?" Halibel questioned his faux leader, after an uncomfortably long silence.
"That if I think so? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That's a fact! Would ya believe he insists he's a pain in the ass to the Little Miss? This kid has become a gold mine for her, and he keeps thinkin' he's useless. But hey, there's nothin' I can say that Julius hasn't already told him, so I won't bother him with it." Having finished his argument, Richard patted Subaru's head. "It looks like the lady is callin' me, so I'll take my leave!" Thus, the Fang of Iron captain left the, incognito, leader and follower alone once more.
"I told ya that you're gonna change the world, didn't I?" Halibel remarked, once the silence settled again.
"I don't wanna hear about it, Halibel." Subaru claimed, directing his gaze both exhausted and determined at the beast-man.
"'Cause you know it's true…" Halibel whispered, loud enough for Subaru to hear. "You really are someone peculiar, Subaru, and every time I see ya, you prove it back to me. Another person in your position would be wallowin' in a morass of vices, but here you are, strivin' to attain the one thing ya can't get."
"That's enough, Halibel!" The dark-haired youth shouted. Realizing that he had drawn too much attention from those in attendance, Subaru bowed his head apologetically and looked back at his unwanted ally. "You know naught me, Halibel. You think you know because of your foolish instincts, but you still have a long way to go before you truly get to know me. My goals, my objectives, are my business. You wanted to..." Subaru paused, to ensure that no one was still paying attention to them, and then continued in an even lower tone."... follow me, didn't you? This is the person I am, and I never hid it from you. If you so desire, I'll have no problem in terminating our ' agreement'."
"Ya don't need to be so dramatic, Su-san. That's not what I meant." Halibel said, seeking to soothe the enraged Subaru. "You'd know that rumors spread very easily. That's how I found out about Anastasia-sama askin' ya to stop workin' so hard. And I agree with her... But your work isn't the only thing that has you in such a deplorable state, is it, Su-san?" At the silence emphasized by Subaru's scowl, Halibel decided to continue. "I understand that you wanna train, especially after what happened in Kyo. But... Do ya really think it's worth tryin' so hard, when there's so little to gain?"
"If you knew I held so little potential, why on earth did you decide to ally yourself with me?" Subaru asked, more frustrated than angry.
"I never claimed to see fightin' potential in ya, Su-san..." Replied the demi-human, eliciting a deep sigh from Subaru. "Leadership potential, potential to change the world, potential to make my life more interesting... That's what I saw in you."
"Leadership potential? I think you took a hard whack on that big head of yours fighting the fake Zarestia, Halibel."
"Halibel this, Halibel that. Didn't you say you'd call me Hal-san?" Shaking his head from side to side, Halibel asked disappointedly.
"I'm in no mood for this." Subaru informed him, as he dragged his hand across his face in blatant frustration.
"Well then, in that case, I'll cut to the chase." It was with those words that Halibel regained Subaru's attention, who turned his haggard gaze to the beast-man. "Since you've been avoidin' me, I haven't been gettin' to do any of what I came to do here in Lugunica. So… When do ya plan to put my skills to use?"
At first, Subaru thought Halibel was joking, but a glance at his face revealed to him that such was not the case. "Hali... Hal-san, I didn't lie when I said that I'm a worthless ordinary employee. What I've done these past few months is the only thing I can do. What did you expect? There's nothing you can do for me, and fortunately, my life hasn't been in danger again." Another lie... "Don't expect to perform transcendental quests for me. If that's what you are after, you should just go back to Kararagi."
"Hmm... Perhaps I asked too soon." Subaru was prepared to hear a parting shot; he wasn't prepared for that reply. "Su-san, I don't know if you wanna hear this. But you'll need me sooner than you might think... For now I'll give you your space, it's clear you're dealin' with a lot of stuff at the moment."
Silently, Subaru watched as the Shinobi warrior walked away and joined a group of demi-humans composed purely of Fang of Iron mercenaries. "I sincerely hope you're fucking wrong, Hal-san..." Failing to hide the chagrin that was overtaking him, Subaru whispered to himself.
Part of him wanted to call Halibel and order him to explain himself, while the other needed for him to ignore what he had just been told. His sanity depended on turning a deaf ear to such an ominous proclamation. Subaru had seen firsthand how accurate the instinct of the powerful Shinobi warrior could be, and therefore he was aware that Halibel, practically, had just recited an omen of death to him.
Was that what had prompted Halibel to constantly seek him out? Apparently the answer was yes, however, it was clear that Halibel was lacking most of the details regarding what was about to happen. Or was he withholding them from him? Subaru doubted that was the case, after all, Halibel's keen senses were not exactly capable of predicting the future...
"It seems as though you have just received notice of your own demise, Subaru-sama." As Subaru's mind was slowly crumbling, debating as to how to deal with Halibel's last words, a calm voice, but with a childish tone that remarked the lack of maturity of its emitter, reached his ears.
Straining to conceal his inner turmoil, Subaru glanced parsimoniously toward the person who had addressed him. It was a young man with purple mane of hair, combed in a ponytail, with a monocle perched in front of his left eye. His serious countenance and analytical gaze were slightly reminiscent of that of his own brother. It was Joshua Juukulius.
"It's not much different from that..." Subaru muttered, looking away from Joshua. The latter managed to partially hear him; however, he was unable to understand the intended meaning that these words bore. And he didn't have the chance to do so, as Subaru quickly proceeded to change the subject. "Glad to see you again, Joshua. It appears to me that, since we returned to Lugunica, you never came back to the mansion."
"Are you truly glad, Subaru-sama? You do not come across as particularly jubilant to me." Replied the young man, eyeing Subaru suspiciously.
"Inwardly I am, don't let my tiredness make you believe otherwise." Subaru joked, though his monotone tone of voice did not help the "humorousness" of his comment to be conveyed.
"As you say..." Joshua eventually said. "Though it's not true that I have not been coming, Subaru-sama. Merely that, due to your... peculiar working routine, we haven't coincided yet again. I usually come in the mornings, to attend the meetings pertaining to the Reinvention Project. Anastasia-sama kindly insisted that doing so would serve my education, so it is an honor for me to oblige with it, even if I have no say in them."
"Really? I've been attending this week's meetings, and I haven't seen you at any of them."
In answer to Subaru's inquiry, Joshua gently shook his head. "Father asked me to take care of several family matters that my brother couldn't handle due to lack of time, so I've been absent." The young man stated, referring to the once-uncle who had taken on the role of his father. "It is likely that we will concur during one of next week's meetings."
"Hmm... I see. So you're finally getting involved in matters related to the Reinvention Project." Subaru commented, looking at his Spirit Arts mentor's brother with a faint but genuine smile.
"I wouldn't quite put it that way. As I told you, I don't really have a say in the meetings; but I hope I can when I've already amassed enough knowledge about negotiating, trade, and politics." The boy replied, with a gaze that conveyed longing and determination; a gaze that did not take long to poignant the emotionally fragile Subaru.
"I-I'm sure you'll make it." Was all Subaru managed to reply, to which the polite boy responded with a small reverence.
"It's an honor to hear that from you, Subaru-sama." Joshua expressed his gratitude, looking at Subaru with genuine emotion. "I-I really admire you, Subaru-sama. My brother has told me a great deal about your accomplishments, also about your unrelenting determination to achieve your goals and your endeavors to train with him every day. That is why I wanted to apologize to you again for what happened on the day you first met with Anastasia-sama. My own stupidity and ignorance prevented me from appreciating your immense worth."
"Joshua..." Subaru, stunned, looked at the boy who had just admitted to admiring a worthless being like him.
Subaru had not gotten to interact extensively with Joshua Juukulius. Julius' brother did not live in Anastasia's mansion and did not invariably attend Anastasia's mansion. He worked as an errand boy for Anastasia's camp, he had begun at the bottom of the ladder and hoped to learn about politics and business under the tutelage of his brother's mistress. Subaru, who rarely left his room, had not come to concur with the boy on more than a couple of occasions.
After the incident that preceded his alliance with Anastasia, the one in which Joshua discriminated against both him and Leith, Subaru had not crossed paths with the polite young man again until his return from the first trip to Kararagi; by then, all traces of superiority towards Subaru had disappeared.
Subaru had not come to know Joshua too well; he had only gleaned information about him in the few times they had met and through Julius' spontaneous comments about his younger brother. However, Joshua, through his brother's constant anecdotes, had indeed gotten to know Subaru considerably; at least the version of Subaru that Anastasia's knight viewed.
Joshua was sickly, Joshua was feeble, Joshua was studious. Anyone who was questioned about the Valuable Knight's younger brother would describe him as a boy who would fit neatly into a huge library. Joshua admired his brother, and he knew it; Julius himself had even mentioned it to Subaru.
Subaru was unfamiliar with much of the story, yet from the fragments he had managed to piece together, he had come to understand that Julius, for some twisted reason, wanted Joshua to take him, Subaru, as an example. Joshua is like you; the knight had come to utter. I'm sure he wishes he could be stronger; he wishes he could become a knight; but his path can never lead him there...
Julius, he knew firsthand the thorny path of knighthood, the one he had decided to follow, in order to hide his painful origin, his unpleasant "self", his real "self"; an image that was hidden in his heart, and only he and no one else could witness it. Joshua did not have to go through the same tribulations as he did, Joshua did not have to live a life hiding his "real self" under a shell.
Julius acknowledged Subaru's limitations, but he trained him because he respected Subaru's determination, that determination that the knight refused to allow him to sully in Priestella. Julius wanted his brother to be happy, and so he wanted him to have a more realistic role model than himself. Someone honorable, someone with whom he shared enough traits.
"That jerk Julius..." Subaru whispered, mostly comprehending what had transpired. "There's no need to apologize, Joshua. You did apologize then, so doing it again would be redundant."
"But at the time I was not honest enough and..." Joshua seemed intent on pressing the issue further, so Subaru opted to interrupt him.
"I misbehaved back then too, so you could argue that we're even." Subaru alleged, to a null convinced Joshua. The young man seemed ready to retort when suddenly silence reigned in the lobby. Both were quick to cast about for the reason for this change in the atmosphere, an answer they were quick to find.
Crossing the threshold of the main entrance, there stood a girl whose beauty was capable of taking the breath away from everyone present; however, the reasons for this effect were very diverse depending on the individual. Some individuals lost their breath due to the fear deeply rooted in their hearts; the fear of the silver-haired half-elf. Others lost their breath because of the girl's innocently feminine unaltered beauty. Others because of the deep melancholy that peeked out of her unfathomable amethyst-like eyes.
Lastly, there was Subaru, whose breath had been taken away by the accumulation of emotions that welled up deep inside him, due to the mere image of the girl who had once reached out her hand to him in that dark alley. For the boy capable of outwitting death, what he had in front of him was no different from a mirage, a hallucination.
She, the girl who was known only by the name of Emilia, represented a corrupted past, a derailed present and a future that would never be. A part of him could only kneel before the beautiful figure upon which his unworthy eyes had dared to fall, while the other, a part of him that could only be defined as an alienated fragment of his being, was incapable of feeling naught but a burning hatred for her, the silver-haired half-elf.
Frozen, Subaru could do nothing but inspect the depths of his being, searching for an answer that would never come. Why was it that what had once been such a strong feeling that he had mistaken for love, had now been corrupted into a garbled hatred devoid of meaning? Subaru was broken, fragmented... What had once been one was now nothing more than the pieces left behind by tragedy.
And just as his heart, his spirit, his mind, his soul... just as his whole being had shattered into a thousand pieces, so had his feelings and his thoughts. Subaru had been enraptured by Emilia, the girl who was capable of reaching out her hand to anyone who needed it, without asking for anything in return and at the cost of her own well-being. Subaru admired the selfless heart of the misunderstood half-elf.
His heart had been moved as it had never been in a lifetime upon meeting her, the girl who had meant his salvation in this world. Subaru back then had felt a strong sentiment within his being; his heart, which had gone insane in the presence of the beautiful girl, had transmitted an emotion that he had not felt in a long time... And now it was totally tainted, defiled, corrupted.
"... Now this is Subaru Natsuki, a key employee of my company." Subaru was in the midst of scrutinizing his own heart when he was brought back to reality by the words of his boss. There, in front of him, was the reason for the change of atmosphere inside the foyer.
"It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Emilia... just Emilia." Where had that captivating aura of naïveté gone?
