After scrambling back to school, Ladybug slipped into the bathroom to detransform.
The school day might have ended, but the last few people were still lingering in the courtyard below.
Nibbling at her lip, Marinette ducked into the classroom. Adrien's bag was still there, but hers was missing.
Turning on her heel, she rushed out and headed down the steps.
She wasn't about to stick around. What she told Adrien was true. She needed some time to think. Something that was extremely hard for her to do with him nearby.
Once she was safely outside of the school, she pulled her phone from her purse.
"Hey, Alya?" she said, trying to keep her eyes from straying back up to the roofline. It would do a lot more to help her make it home in one piece. "Did you happen to pick up my bag?"
"Marinette?" The concern on Alya's face was clear just as soon as she opened the door. Dropping her bag on the floor, she pulled Marinette into a big hug. "Are you alright?"
She must have looked as weary as she felt. To be perfectly honest - which of course she couldn't - she still wasn't sure. Belatedly, she shrugged. "I think I was up too late studying."
"You got some rest in the nurse's office?"
"Some at least."
"Adrien never came back to class." The grin on Alya's face widened. "Did he stick around?"
Marinette shook her head. "I guess he must have. For a little while at least." She pursed her lips. "I didn't see him when I woke up."
"Maybe his Father pulled him out once the battle left the area?" Alya frowned. "Nino said Adrien's father definitely likes to keep him out of harm's way."
Plastering a smile on her face, Marinette turned away, reaching down to grab for her bag. "I hope so."
There was no way in the world she could tell Alya just how untrue that was. Lying on her own behalf was bad enough.
Alya smiled in return. "Want me to run you through the assignment from the last class of the day?"
"Sure," Marinette nodded. Right now, she could use all the help she could get.
Only an hour later, it was almost a welcome relief for her to head down for dinner when Alya needed to go back home.
In spite of all of Alya's help, she was barely able to focus.
On the homework, at least.
In the relative safety of her room, it really was just sinking in what incredible lengths Adrien must have gone to just to keep wearing Chat Noir's mask all long. When he had been little more than a face hidden behind the mask, she still worried and wondered. But she put it out of her mind to keep him safe.
Sitting down at the dinner table across from her parents with a genuine smile, she looked down at the plate before her. "Oh!" She beamed, looking down at a whole meal of her favorites. "Dinner looks great!"
Her mother had definitely heard from Alya.
"How was school today, sweetie?" Her mother smiled a little too widely, subtly pressing her to fill in the gaps.
"I made it through that crazy test." Marinette sighed, setting her napkin down on her lap. "Started to feel ill at the end and had to go lie down. That's why Alya brought my bag over."
Tom frowned, napkin to his lips. "Are you feeling better?"
"I think I just overdid it." She picked at the food on her plate. "If I go to bed a little early tonight, I'll be fine…"
Her eyes fell upon the open seat beside hers. The place where Chat Noir had ever so thoughtfully declined her feelings because he understood. But couldn't give up his feelings for her.
For her.
"Actually," Marinette whispered, forcing her eyes back up to her parents, "if it's okay, can I crash now?"
Collapsing onto her bed as soon as she cleared the ladder, Marinette rolled over. Hugging her giant cat pillow, she stared up at the skylight.
She half wished for him to appear, calling for her to come out and patrol.
As Chat Noir, he had spent a whole year throwing his feelings at her, but she'd let herself be so blinded to how wonderful he was without the mask that she hadn't seen him standing beside her.
She couldn't.
Feeling the ache welling at her temples, Marinette wanted to scream.
Of course, she just told her parents she was going to sleep.
Closing her eyes, her head sunk back against the pillow. Of course he wouldn't come.
He hadn't argued when she said she needed time. She had trusted him not to push, even before his mask had fallen..
"Tikki," she murmured. "I thought you kept saying this would all work out in the end."
Sighing, Tikki ruffled her bangs fondly. "We're not done yet, are we?"
Grumbling, Marinette forced herself to sit up. "It's just a lot, trying to process everything I know about him now." Hesitating, she frowned. "Everything I think I know anyways."
"He has always been kind and caring. Considering his Father - not to mention Chloe being his oldest friend - that has only been endearing."
Marinette tilted her head. "It's just nice to know he wasn't always alone all this time. Especially when his Father kept keeping him at home when Nino tried to arrange get-togethers."
"Plagg couldn't be in better hands," Tikki agreed.
Marinette snickered. "Adrien must keep him out of trouble. Mostly, anyways."
Absently, she pet the fake fur of the cat pillow.
"Does it change your mind?" Tikki asked quietly.
"Knowing who he is?" Marinette replied, nuzzling her nose into the pillow. "No. Understanding better what he risked everyday - for her, for Paris…" A choked sob slipped past her lips. "Tikki, I didn't think I could love him more."
Tikki smiled sadly. "That's not something that should make you unhappy."
She shook her head, pressing her forehead against the pillow. "I can't help it. I can't help but feel like I'm betraying Kagami, but I can't help but to love him. You know I've tried not to."
Worse, she knew that absolutely couldn't act on it. Neither of them could afford to.
The whole time, her mind kept spiralling back to one single point. To the one thought stuck in her head.
After all, their love was supposed to destroy the world, right?
"Marinette?"
Only, she hadn't had any idea at the time that she'd actually been in love with Chat Noir all along. She'd been in love with him the whole time and she had pushed him away. Right into Kagami's arms.
Even with Tikki helping, she had the absolute worst luck.
Her brows furrowed, as her eyes darted back over to her worried Kwami.
But that was impossible, wasn't it?
Eyes widening, she sat up in bed.
Maybe...
Maybe her awful luck in telling Adrien her feelings, hadn't actually been bad luck at all. Maybe it was the very thing that had been keeping them both safe.
Scanning her room, her eyes fell upon the Miraculous Box.
Impossible as it was, Marinette wished she could reach out to Bunnyx to find out. Of course, she had no way of knowing if she was meeting a Bunnyx who had even gone through that yet, or if she had disappeared altogether.
Smacking her cheeks as she paced the floor of her room, Marinette forced herself to refocus.
Because of the battle, Adrien had had to skip out on practice, and she knew Kagami was not happy. She had heard from the other girls that Kagami wasn't happy.
She didn't wish any unhappiness on anyone, but she knew what she had to tell Chat. Tell Adrien.
Somehow.
What she had to tell Adrien would only cause them to grow closer. He'd been worried enough when he'd asked her to share the burden.
He'd doubted so much what he meant to her. Then again, he had no idea what she'd been keeping from him.
She understood her feelings, but there was no way either she or Adrien could explain.
It was something she had dealt with Luka as well. He had helped her to understand herself. To say it better.
To understand and come to terms with her own feelings. Everything had always been easier with him, because her heart wasn't so involved.
But losing Chat Noir in New York? Losing him to Akumatization that she almost didn't defeat?
That had been devastating.
Now it was all painfully clear why. Even if her head hadn't known, her heart had always been sure.
"Marinette," Tikki hissed, tugging at one of her pigtails. "What has got you so riled up?"
"My feelings haven't changed," she inhaled, a slow smile spreading across her face.
Tikki nodded slowly. "Yes… did that surprise you?"
Marinette snorted. "That isn't the surprising part."
"What is?"
She shook her head, forcing herself to focus. "That everything is still okay. That it always has been."
Her eyes narrowed.
Hawkmoth had targeted everyone. Nearly every single person she knew and cared for.
If it wasn't their love that had ruined it, it had to be something else.
Their love hadn't changed. It just kept swinging back and forth, like the yin and yang Master Fu had always mentioned during her training sessions with him.
Marinette leaned into her purse, pulling out the tiny black kitten, beaming down at the tiny bell on its collar.
She couldn't dare to take the risk she might be wrong. Not with Chat. Not with Adrien.
Glancing at the mirror as she fixed her ribbons, Marinette blushed.
Even if she couldn't tell him how she felt, he needed to know there was a risk. She owed him that. Adrien needed to keep himself safe, even if she couldn't always be at his side.
Tiny kitten communicator in hand, Ladybug leaned back against the metal beam, red and black spotted hands keeping her solidly in place.
"Hey, Chaton."
His electric green eyes were wide and worried. "You called?"
She patted the beam beside her. "I just needed to relax."
Chuckling softly, the metal of his boots clinked against the beam as he sat down beside her. "And you needed me?"
Shrugging, she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I relax more when you are nearby."
They sat in silence for a few whole minutes, his arm gently wrapping around her.
"What have you worried about the most?"
"Hawkmoth." Ladybug whispered. "Our masks haven't ever fallen before. And he's tried to use us both against each other.
"That's right," Chat sat up, pulling away just enough to see her face, his arm falling to the small of her back. "He did try to Akumatize you, didn't he?"
She bit her lip, nodding. Trying to ignore the small touch. "Twice, actually. And Lila was behind both times."
He snorted, laughing hard. "No wonder Lila got you so mad. You knew exactly what that book was. And of course, you would know she took it." Chat shook his head. "I was still surprised Father ever budged on that."
"Adrien." Smiling ruefully, she sighed. "I had to take it back to him. Master Fu and I scanned the whole book, first. But it wasn't fair that he was keeping you out of school because of it."
"Why?" Mix of love and confusion and awe. "Why would you do that much? For me?"
"You're my friend." Squeezing his hand in hers. She couldn't look him in those kitten eyes. "It's been hard enough to see everyone else Akumatized. It really bothered me, especially with how unfair your Father can sometimes be."
"In hindsight, I'm really glad. I guess we've never done so well with fights when both of us aren't there."
He was quiet for a while, watching her. "You're right, you know?"
She snorted. "You're just realizing this now?"
His crooked grin was genuine. "I meant about the threat that Hawkmoth poses."
"Mmmhmm."
She grabbed his arm, before he headed away. "There's a threat. It's...well, it's hard to explain, especially as it might put you at risk. There was only one battle that I've ever had to fight without you. Bunnyx came for me."
"She didn't want my help?" He looked hurt, more than anything else.
"Chaton…" Ladybug murmured. "I don't think she had the time. I was pulled into her Burrow and shoved into the battle only a little while later." She shut her eyes, noticing how closely he was watching her. Now was not the time to test if her acting skills have gotten any better. "It all has me very leery. I don't have eyes in the back of my head. It's part of what is wearing me down. If this person was Akumatized once, they could be Akumatized again."
"Then what to do we need to do to stop the risk?"
Her fingers gripped the metal beam, giving her focus as she stared back at him. "We have to stop Hawkmoth. We get his Miraculous away; whatever it takes."
His gaze slipped away from hers first, staring off thoughtfully into the distance. "What if we shook up our planning for a bit?"
Ladybug tilted her head. "What did you have in mind?"
"Hawkmoth expects you to do the planning, right?" He smiled sweetly. "The complex, crazy ideas that get ahead of what he can predict."
"Sure."
"If that's what he's expecting, then we do it my way." His grin widened. "Simple and straightforward."
Ladybug chuckled, muscle memory sending her finger to tap at his bell before her head could catch up. "You always got straight to the heart of saying what you mean."
"Right." Flushing red, Chat sat up straighter. His lips pressed into a line. "You should still be running the battles. I can read your telegraphing pretty well now, and we really can't afford for him to get an edge."
"I can try to reach out to more of the Miraculous holders, but it still won't be safe to keep them in between." She sighed. "Unfortunately, Chloe made sure of that."
Chat nodded. "So you call in everyone, but separately. Don't tell everyone the plan. Not even me. Given everyone a specific task. You know who they are...what they might be good at."
"This is feeling a little less and less straightforward by the minute," Ladybug chuckled.
"I thought you might like that." Chat Noir grinned, leaving her heart to try to take a swan dive off the Tower without her.
"Besides, straightforward doesn't mean you can't also feint and dodge to get the point. The element of surprise is one of the few things we have still working in our favor. And there is one thing we haven't ever dared to do."
Her brows furrowed beneath the mask. "What's that?"
"This time, we go on the offensive."
