Author's Note: For the last time, I still don't own Zootopia. Rated M for violence, language, drugs and sex.

Chapter Thirteen: Partners for Life

Bunny Burrow, five months later

"Why the fuck did I agree to this," said Nick as he stood before the altar with Danny, Clawhouser and Finnick standing right behind him. "Well you did ask her," said Finnick, "you had your chance to opt out by dying and you blew it." "Way to make me feel better," quipped Nick. "How'd you get the rings anyways," asked Clawhouser with deep interest, "I could've given you a few pointers on that."

Happytown, four months beforehand

Nick walked into the abandoned factory where Finnick set up his workshop for the East Germammals, holding a very heavy object in his pocket. "Hey Nicky Boy," called out Finnick as he noticed his old friend walking in, "glad to see you again. Thanks for keeping my ass safe." "No problem buddy," said Nick, "that's just what we do at the ZPD." "You even sound like her now," taunted Finnick. "Do not," snapped back Nick.

"Whatever WIldeHopps," said Finnick, "so what brings you down here?" "I need your help," said Nick, "I gotta get Judy a ring and I just can't seem to afford a decent one." "What makes you think I know anything about jewelry," asked Finnick. "You still have that metalworking equipment," asked Nick, "right?" "Why don't you tell me what's in your pocket before anything else," said Finnick.

Nick sighed, then he walked up to a table in between the two of them, where he pulled the object out of his pocket and set it down as gently as he could. "Is that what I think that is," asked Finnick. "Look," said Nick, "the ZPD's done with this case. So can you do me a solid and help me get carrots a ring?" "Well," said Finnick as he looked at the goddamn Nazi gold bar, "the customer is always right. But you'll still have to tell her someday, and I'm not gonna be there when you do."

Bunny Burrow, present time

"Not one word Benji," snapped Nick. "Wow Nick," muttered Clawhouser, "I knew you were sorta ghetto, but damn!" "This is the most fucked up wedding I've ever been to," said Danny, "did you seriously use the gold from the case to make you and Judy your damn wedding rings? That is some messed up shit there." "Just don't talk about it," snapped Nick.

Just then, it was time for Judy to walk in, wearing her lavish, white gown, with Nick standing as still as he possibly could while panting nervously. Goddamnit carrots, thought Nick, just don't let me fuck this up.

Judy got into her place, noticing all the mammals standing behind Nick with weird looks on their faces. "What did you do to them," asked Judy concernedly. "Nothing," said Nick on autopilot. "Niiick!"

"Alright," said Nick, "so I told them one of my hustler stories." "One big time hustle too," added Finnick. "Shut the fuck up you cretin," snapped Nick. "This isn't some huge practical joke at my expense," asked Judy, "is it?" "What, huh," Nick lost his place, "oh, no. No it isn't." "Good," said Judy, "because I've still got that little recording on the pen."

"Do not," said Nick. "Do to," said Judy. "I pay my taxes now," said Nick defensively. "Who said anything about taxes," teased Judy. "You sly bunny," said Nick. "Dumb fox," said Judy.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bear witness to the union of," droned on the rabbit minister. "I like the ring by the way," whispered Judy, "where'd you get it?" "It's pawcrafted," replied Nick, "I got some help from my buddy Finnick." "That's so sweet," blushed Judy, "but wait a second? Where'd you get the gold?"

Oh shit, thought Nick. "While nobody's paying attention," said Judy, "I'm going to ask you very carefully, where did you get the gold? Don't you dare lie to me!" "I sorta, uh," Nick knew he was busted as he tried to think of a way to play it off, "I requisitioned it from the ZPD Evidence Room as it is no longer part of an active investigation, and," Nick nervously answered. "Cut the crap and tell me the truth," snapped Judy, "did this come from where I think it did?"

"Sorry fluff," said Nick, "I'm still at least a little ghetto." Judy did a facepalm at the realization that her wedding ring was made from smelted down Nazi gold. One thing she knew for certain was that she was in for a very awkward wedding night.

"Ahem," said the minister, "we got to the vows while you two were arguing over something idiotic." "Right," said Nick and Judy in unison awkwardly. "Get on with it," whispered Danny over Nick's shoulder, "there's supposed to be an open bar at the reception and I'm thirsty damnit!" "Don't rush them," said Clawhouser to Danny, "let's enjoy the moment here." "Can we just calm down and move on with it," pleaded Nick.

"I couldn't agree more," said the minister as he began reading off the vows, "do you, Judith Laverne Hopps agree to take this fox as your lawfully wedded husband. To honor, obey and love this fox in sickness and health 'till death does you part." Judy looked at Nick and forgot about the gold as she couldn't help but feel warm and fuzzy inside. She smiled and said "I do."

"Good," said the minister, "now as for you," he turned to Nick, "do you, Nicholas Piberious Wilde take this rabbit as your lawfully wedded wife, blah blah blah, till death does you part?" "Is this a multiple choice question," asked Nick jokingly, only for Judy to shoot him a death glare. "Be serious for once," said Judy. "And you still haven't learned when to lighten up carrots," said Nick, "would've thought some of it would've rubbed off on you by now." "Do you agree or not," barked the minister, "Mister Wilde?" "Yeah," he then looked into Judy's eyes, this time sincerely, "I do more than anything."

"Good," said the minister as he slammed the bible shut, "then by the power invested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." "'bout time," said Nick as he grabbed Judy and kissed her.

"I oughta say Nick," said a drunk Stu Hopps, "when I first met you, I wanted to chop your smiling head off with a machete." "Thank you," said Nick nervously, "for not murdering me." "Dad, please," said Judy, "don't go there." "I also heard some rumor about Nick making the rings out of some nazi gold or some shit like that," continued Stu as he patted Nick on the shoulder, "at least I know that's not true because that's low for even a fox. Hahaha!" "Yes," muttered a wide eyed Nick, "low."

"Anyhow," added Bonnie, "now that we finally got to know you," she extended a paw to Nick, "we're glad to have you as a part of the family. Hope you treat our daughter well." "Because if you hurt her," added Stu, "I'll blow your fuckin head off with a shotgun." "Dad, stop," said Judy, "please don't scare him now." "It's just a friendly conversation," said Stu. "Right," agreed Nick nervously, "friendly." Save me carrots, said Nick's eyes.

"Anyhow," said Judy as she grabbed Nick and got up, "I'm just going to take my fox here and we're going to have to sign off on a couple things. It was nice talking to you though." "Don't have too much fun tonight," said Stu, "Jude the Dude."

"Thanks," said Nick as Judy dragged him away from the table, "you just saved my ass." "We're still not done talking about the gold," said Judy. "Does this mean no beddy-bye fun time tonight," asked Nick sarcastically. "Of course it doesn't," said Judy, "I'm young, in love and very horny tonight. I'm getting a piece of you." "So what's my punishment," asked Nick. "I'll think of something," said Judy.

A chubby fox stood behind one of the food tables, waiting for Nick and Judy. "Hey Gideon," said Judy, "thanks for helping out with the catering on such short notice." "Anything for an old friend," said Gideon Grey. "So is this the lucky guy," he looked at Nick. "You could say that," said Nick. "That explains why she's had that smell for the last year," said Gideon.

"You know him," asked Nick to Judy. "Well," said Judy, "we were childhood friends, of sorts." "The guy was an asshole growing up, wasn't he," interrupted Nick. "Ouch," said Gideon, "that was a little below the belt. Correct," he continued, "but below the belt." "How'd you know," asked Judy. "When you become an expert liar," said Nick, "you see right through bullshit."

"Okay," said Judy, "so Gideon Grey was my childhood bully. He clawed me once when I was nine." "Is that what you meant by, 'I've been clawed before'," asked Nick. "Yes," said Judy, "but we're all over it now." "These days I work with the Hopps's," said Gideon, "they're one of my principal suppliers for my bakery."

"So how did you two meet anyways," asked Gideon. "He scammed me," said Judy as she pointed at Nick. "I thought you were a cop," asked Gideon confusedly. "I am now," said Nick, "but beforehand, I was running a pawpsicle hustle with a buddy of mine," he then grabbed Judy by the shoulder and laughed, "you should have seen her, the adorable little idealist ate the whole thing up."

"But then the cute little bunny managed to take you hostage with this pen," said Judy as she took out the carrot pen. "Remember," taunted Judy, "it's called a hustle, sweetheart? Then I dragged you all over Zootopia to help solve a case." "Of course I remember," said Nick, "and we busted two mayors and our third one probably hates us by now. Probably because we're messy."

"So this is what true love looks like," said Gideon, "I'll be damned if I ever get that lucky, but you still need to sign the bill." "Fine," groaned Nick as he took the pen out of Judy's paws and held it over the invoice, "I'll sign the damn thing myself." He meant to click the pen open, but accidentally pressed the playback button.

"Then I want to tear you out of that dress, spank you, drive my dick up your fluffy ass then you can sit on my face."

Nick felt himself dying on the inside of embarrassment. (End Credits Song: More than a Feeling by Boston)

Author's Note: I hope you all enjoyed this story and are looking forward to the wrap up of this trilogy. In their next adventure, Nick and Judy Wilde must stop a new terrorist threat with shocking connections to Judy's past. See you soon and feel free to reach out to me in the PMs or comments, as I crave feedback and don't mind doing the occasional fan service.