Prompt 14# Valentine's Day

No, I won't do it. You know I hate Valentine's Day, so no!

"But Uncle Daniel, you love telling stories! Please please please please?"

No. And that's final, Sophie! You too, Jean! Now don't go looking at me with your puppy-dog eyes! Just because Hope wanted a night out with your father doesn't mean I have to regale you with stories of love and romance. The whole holiday is a capitalist sham anyway.

"Please Uncle Daniel!"

No.

"Please?"

…fine. I'll tell you a story about something that happened on Valentine's Day in Narnia, even though Valentine's Day technically doesn't exist in Narnia and I resent the very name of this wretched day. Be warned – there will be no candy hearts or shopping centre discounts here!

So, Valentine's Day, Narnia, 952.

There was a lovely family of badgers. And Mrs Badger and Mr Badger loved each other very much.

They lived a happy life in endless winter, trusting in Aslan and aiding Archenlanders in trading to the Narnians for food, since endless winter means everyone would starve to death otherwise.

And then they were turned to stone by the White Witch. The end.
I was wrong, I can't do this. Go play some video games or something.

What? I got rid of all the video games because you lot were spending too much time on them? Well then, go watch a movie!

What? My tv is NOT broken…oh, actually it is. I need to get that repaired.

FINE. Put on the kettle. I'll tell you a story.


Dearest Susan,

I have been thinking of your beauty ever since you left Anvard last summer. Your lovely dark hair and your sparkling eyes have bedazzled my heart. I cannot look upon another female face without wishing it were yours. Your mere presence has enchanted me beyond belief, and it is my deepest wish to be by your side.

I have realised that I cannot continue to live without seeing you, and so I have decided to prepare to leave at once for Cair Paravel in hopes of glimpsing your face and of asking you if you would do me the honour of agreeing to marry me?

Your most ardent admirer,

Prince Corin of Archenland

"Oh dear," said Susan, placing the letter carefully on her desk.

She really hadn't known the Prince very long, and while she felt they'd quite enjoyed each other's company last summer, she certainly was not interested in marrying him. He was nine!

But how to refuse him? That was the question. She certainly did not want to cause an international incident and was unsure whether King Lune had approved his son's proposal. By rejecting Corin, Archenland might take such insult as might be grounds for war. Not that Susan supposed the good-natured King would take such a course of action, but it was hard to tell anything from the letter.

"Well," she said to herself, "I had better tell the others."

So, she picked up the letter and headed towards Peter's study, pausing to ask two young Squirrels if they could possibly find Queen Lucy and King Edmund so they could meet her there.

Reaching the threshold, she knocked politely to make sure Peter wasn't already busy with other business.

"Come in!"

She entered, closing the door behind her.

"Susan! What troubles thee?"

"A marriage proposal," she revealed with a sigh, "from the Prince of Archenland."

Peter raised his eyebrows, "I thought Corin aught but nine? Surely he is not old enough to marry!"

"Therein lies the problem, dear brother," Susan said dryly, "for customs differ from country to country, and while I would not marry a boy less than half my age, there is no telling what the custom is in Archenland, and I am ever wary of causing offence."

"I see." Peter put down his quill and moved the papers he had been working on to one side, giving Susan his full attention.

It was then that Lucy burst in forgetting, as usual, to knock.

"What is the matter?" She asked, looking from one sibling to another, "My good cousin Pinenut said you looked much disturbed, when she came to fetch me."

"The news is not so bad," Susan began, eager to reassure her sister, but didn't get to finish before Edmund slipped in through the open door.

"What news?" He asked, sinking into an armchair by the empty fireplace.

"Our dear sister has received a marriage proposal," Peter answered, looking ever so slightly amused, "and she is disinclined towards causing an international incident, despite her admirer's unrequited feelings."

Lucy and Edmund grinned, both relaxing now they knew it wasn't urgent.

Susan knew that in a moment, one or both of them would start teasing her, and she wasn't prepared to let them start.

"The prince is but nine years of age, and I cannot conceive of it. However, I know not the customs of Archenland, and so am usure if rejection on such grounds would be taken with grace." Susan held up the letter, offering it to her siblings.

"Well," Edmund said, waiting for Lucy to pass it to him, "as far as I know, Archenland's customs are much the same as in Narnia. We are sister nations, after all; Archanland was founded by Prince Col, the descendent of King Frank, the first king of Narnia."

"So, you don't believe our good friend and ally King Lune would take offence?" Susan confirmed hopefully, this time looking to Peter, since Edmund was reading the letter.

Peter was about to respond, but was interrupted by Edmund's snort of amusement, which he quickly tried to cover up with a fake-sounding cough.

"Do you find aught funny, dear brother?" Susan asked, innocent as a stalking cat, "Pray, please tell us so we may share in your amusement."

"I – erm," Edmund hesitated, glancing nervously at Susan, "I was merely recognising the author's keen observations about your visage; your 'sparkling eyes' certainly have 'bedazzled' many hearts."

Now it was Lucy's turn to hide a laugh, though for her, such a task proved impossible, and she burst into laughter, causing Edmund to also lose his composure.

Susan glared sternly at the both of them, definitely not amused.

"And – and" Lucy said between laughs, "your presence is, without a doubt, 'beyond belief'!"

They both became lost to laughter, and Susan glared harder. It was all very well of them to make sport of her, but how would they feel if they had to turn the Prince down?

Peter was reading the letter now, and was grinning openly, but thankfully didn't laugh at her.

"But dost it not say that the Prince is heading to Cair this very day?" Peter questioned seriously, ignoring their two younger siblings in the corner.

"It does," Susan agreed, "which is the reason I have asked for assistance this day. For, in case he would take offence, it would be preferred that we four all know about the matter so we can be delicate." She glared again, this time more pointedly, at Edmund and Lucy, who sobered a bit at the reminder. Someone's heart was on the line, after all.

"So, dost thou plan on rejecting the poor lad immediately after he arrives?" Edmund asked, only half joking.

"Perhaps it would be better to do so after dinner?" Susan considered, "He will have travelled far, and it is best not to deliver bad news on an empty stomach."

"You speak the truth, sister," Lucy smiled, "for it would hardly do to crush his 'deepest wish' and send him home unfulfilled!"

Edmund and Lucy burst into more laughter, and their mirth bubbled up and filled the room. It must have been infectious, because even Peter couldn't help but chuckle, though he quickly became serious when he caught Susan's eye.

"It sounds like we four are in agreement," Peter said, "after dinner we will leave the two lovebirds alone so he can stare into your 'sparkling eyes' and have his heart shattered."

And that set all three of them off again, so Susan was forced to leave, rolling her eyes with a sigh. It was easy for them to laugh. It's not as if they were going to be the one to "shatter" the young prince's heart.


In fact, Corin arrived that very afternoon, beaming from ear to ear in a way that told anyone who had known him for longer than a few days last summer (i.e. not Susan), that he was up to no good. No good at all.

During dinner, he asked some polite questions, generally commented on the deliciousness of the food, and excitedly regaled them with a tale of his latest adventure; facing down an old non-talking bear who lived in the mountains. Unfortunately (or rather, fortunately), the bear had been away from its den, but Corin had still emphasised the danger. For the bear might still have been in there, and he would never have known until it jumped out, killing him.

Finally, the moment arrived that Susan was dreading.

They were left alone on one of the balconies, looking out into the darkness in silence.
Susan was in the process of gathering her courage when Corin spoke first.

"So, did you get my letter?"

"I – uh, yes," Susan stammered, caught off guard.

Corin laughed, pointing at her face and doubling over.

"What?" She asked, wondering if there was food on her face, "Why are you laughing?"

"You should see your face!" Corin gasped, "It's priceless!"

Susan just looked at him.

After a good few minutes, he sobered up, but he was still grinning.
"So, tell me, what did you think when you got it?"

"I uh – I was surprised?" Susan said, confused as ever, "Corin, what's going on?"

"It was a perfect prank, wasn't it?"

Susan groaned, placing a hand over her face.
"It was a joke? Your intentions in visiting have nothing to do with matrimony?"

"Yes! And no, you're too old!"

Susan sighed, she knew Ed and Lu would split their sides laughing if they ever found out.
She would never live it down.

And thus, so ended another Valentine's Day, full of jokes and stinging laughter.
The end.

Now, look at the time! You guys need to go to bed now. Goodnight!


Author's Note:

So, our dear narrator really doesn't like Valentine's Day, but I finally managed to get him to give you at least something.
Hopefully it's half decent, but I'd appreciate any feedback you have :)

Trix