Prompt your post internal affairs fic was so good! please could you do some more post ep fics? maybe like 8x15 and 7x07? i've always felt that the writers just glossed over what happened to kensi in these episodes and we never saw how she (and deeks) dealt with it?
A/N: Thank you, anon, I'm glad you liked it! This one's for "An Unlocked Mind". It doesn't immediately follow where the episode ends.
Please be aware that this content might be upsetting for some readers.
He was coming at her. She couldn't move, could barely make a sound and he was getting closer. She heard other voices, female voices. They sounded happy, seductive. Using all her will, she tried to move her hand and felt her finger twitch.
The man touched her arm. Any relief she felt instantly vanished as someone pressed their mouth to hers. She tried to slam her head up into their face, but she couldn't move again. She tried to scream, to fight, to stop the hands tugging at her clothes. They kept coming.
"No, no get off me!" Kensi shouted, shoving at the hands that held hers. She lashed out, making contact with warm, solid flesh. She hit and kicked frantically until the hands touching her grabbed her arms and held them in place.
She let out a shuddery gasp and shrank into the pillows.
"Baby, it's ok. It's just me. You're ok."
"Deeks," she whispered hoarsely, his voice suddenly breaking through the fear. She realized he was loosely, gently, holding her arms down. He let go of her to turn on a light and she shoved a shaking hand through her hair, breathing heavily.
"Are you ok?" Deeks asked worriedly as he turned back to her. She nodded immediately, even though it was completely untrue. He reached out to take her hand, but she saw him pull back slightly just before he made contact.
"You can touch me, I won't hit you again," she told him, taking in his appearance for the first time. His lip was bleeding and she felt a sharp pang of guilt.
Still hesitating, he gathered her hands in his, careful not to apply to much pressure. Kensi's heart still thundered in her chest and a small part of her wanted to shove him away. Instead, she scooted closer, lowering her head to Deeks' chest.
He made a surprised noise in the back of his throat and then belatedly wrapped both arms around her. She focused on the warmth of his skin, his scent, the way he automatically started a soothing rocking motion.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked a few minutes later.
"Not really." She shuddered at the memory of the nightmare. She never wanted to think about it again. But that's what she'd tried to do in the week since they'd gone undercover at The Church of the Unlocked Mind. Obviously that had worked out wonderfully.
She brushed a couple stray tears off her chin and started talking in a low voice. "I was in Ashman's bedroom again. Drugged. And he was touching me." She swallowed harshly, clinging to Deeks for support. His fingers bit into the soft skin of her upper arm and there was something comforting about the realness of it. "Only this time I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. Nothing. I couldn't stop him."
Deeks smoothed his hand over her hair, rocking her back and forth a little faster. He didn't ask for more details, which Kensi was grateful for. She didn't need to verbalize what Ashman did before she managed to wake up. Honestly, she wasn't entirely sure she could.
"I'm sorry I hit you," she murmured, pulling back and gesturing to his lip. He swiped at it, smearing blood across his chin and shook his head.
"You didn't mean to."
"I still feel bad about it." He shrugged, pulling her back against him.
"Do you want to try going back to sleep?" he asked.
"No," Kensi said adamantly, holding back another shudder. She was drained, but there was no chance she could sleep anymore tonight. Not with images of Lee Ashman haunting her. "Can you just hold me for a while?"
"Of course. I can hold you all night," Deeks said, kissing the side of her head, he shifted them back against the pillows and Kensi burrowed into his chest, seeking warmth and comfort.
