A/N: The soundtrack for the first section is 'Do You Love Me' by Beta Play. The third section is 'Bookends' by Adam Agin. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 32
It was several hours after she met with the Elders before Alex could convince the others to give her some time alone. Angeal especially had not wanted her out of his sight, but she had convinced them that what she needed most was space. She had wandered around the shops for a bit but was currently making her way to the bonfire in the middle of town called the Cosmo Candle.
She had to admit that she was somewhat curious how they kept it burning all the time. There wasn't exactly a lot of wood in the canyons, so it must be magical. She allowed her curiosity to distract her from her troubled thoughts while she made her way over.
However, before she even made it halfway to the flame, she heard a familiar voice call out her name. For a moment, she thought about acting as though she had not heard Genesis. Instead, she sighed and turned to face him. This needed to happen, no matter how hard it was.
When he drew even, his eyes were less angry and more worried than she had expected, but his words were far from surprising. "Alexandra, we must speak. I am aware that many things have happened between us, but we cannot leave things as they are."
Alex took a deep breath before she nodded. "You're right. Do you want to go back inside?"
Genesis looked like he had not expected her answer, but it didn't last long. He shook his head as he said, "No. While this may not seem like an ideal location, it is more private than anywhere in those caverns."
Alex didn't disagree, so she nodded as she wrapped her arms around herself and asked, "Where do you want to start? There is a lot we need to go over."
Genesis didn't respond right away. Instead, he gently pulled on her arm until she released her hold on herself, and he took her hand. She frowned at the action but didn't pull away. He was more like he had been before things went to hell, and it caused an ache that she couldn't fully understand.
She let the issue go as he finally said, "Alexandra, this crack that has formed between us is as much my fault as it is yours."
For a moment, Alex wanted to be offended at that statement. He had hurt her badly, but she swallowed the impulse. She could not deny that there was some truth to what he said. Not that he gave her a chance to say anything. He had already continued. "However, when I heard the news that you are pregnant, it forced me to see how infantile I have been. I am aware that there is no way for us to continue as though nothing has happened between us, but I would like the chance to start over. Alexandra, I cannot turn a blind eye to how I feel, no matter how difficult it may be."
Alex sighed as she gently pulled her hand back and crossed her arms again. "Genesis, I understand that thinking I'm pregnant with your child may have made you reconsider, but this isn't your child. There is no need for you to stay beside me even if it was. I can take care of myself."
Instead of getting angry, Genesis shocked her when he softly said, "Does that matter? It well could have been, yet I find I don't care either way. I have already stated that my feelings for you have not changed. I do not wish to see you hurting. No matter what relation we may share, I cannot stop how I feel. I will admit that is why I have been so unreasonably angry."
Alex's eyes widened. She had not expected him to admit that. Still, he had every reason to be mad. She had lied to him. However, now was a good time to get it all out—at least the part about their relation. That didn't mean it was easy for her to talk about. She turned away slightly as she said, "I don't blame you. I know learning that we are related had to be hard to hear."
He turned her back to face him but didn't try to hold her as he said, "Yes. I will not lie and say it is was not disturbing, but I have had time to consider the situation. I know you. Had it been dangerous, you would have not decided to be intimate."
Alex felt a rush of guilt. She wasn't sure he was right, but the past could not be changed. She sighed as she said, "At least I can say that you're right. It wouldn't be dangerous. If it weren't for the Jenova cells we share, our relation is so small that it would have caused no more potential issues than most couples."
A flash of unease went through Genesis's eyes when she mentioned Jenova, but he did not let it last. He took both her hands in his as he said, "Alexandra, I will ask once again—can we start over? I love you. Can you honestly say you do not love me too?"
Alex felt her heart thump painfully in her chest. Those words were ones that both filled her heart to bursting and still managed to tear her to pieces at the same time. Too much had happened, and no matter how much she wished it, things could never go back to how they were. She pulled her hands away as she choked out her answer. "Genesis, yes, I still love you, and I probably always will, but—"
She cut off as she tried to swallow a sob. Genesis ignored the distance she had put between them and pulled her into an embrace. For once, Alex did not object or try to get away. She simply let him hold her as all the anxiety and worry she had been dealing with since she was captured broke from her. She clung to him while she cried.
Sephiroth had been as reluctant as the others to let Alex walk out without someone being near her. It wasn't just her emotional state, as he knew there was little he could do to help with that. However, he had seen her grimace several times when she tried to hide it. He also did not miss that she needed to sit more often. Even though she had been released from the infirmary, it was easy to tell that she was not fully recovered from her travel or the stressors that caused her ill health.
Once Alex had gone, Angeal headed back to the infirmary. He did not give a reason why, but he did say he would not be long. Peter also left to see more of the town now that things had calmed somewhat. Genesis had not been seen since that morning. That left Sephiroth alone in the room to sit and consider everything.
He had thought finding out about the circumstances of his birth had been disconcerting, but that was nothing compared to the confusion swirling in him at the moment. He had already begun to understand that he felt something for Alex. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before, but he could admit that he felt better when she was near, and he could verify she was safe and well.
He also could not deny a physical attraction. That had been something he had not wanted to acknowledge due to her other relationships, but it seemed to grow each day. He might not ever admit it aloud, but he could not continue to deny it was real.
None of that was what took up most of his thoughts. No, he was consumed with the possibilities of what may have happened to her while she had been held. What they recently found out only made it worse.
He had killed many men in the past. That was a byproduct of being a warrior. Yet, not once had he ever craved another man's death. That he did now disgusted him, as he had always prided himself on his objectivity. Yet, there was still a portion of his mind that could not let go of the idea.
He had endured much through his life, but that did not make it acceptable to think of Alex going through even a portion of that. It made it much easier for him to understand why Genesis lost his temper so often. He had never felt such an all-consuming rage.
When he had finally had enough of those thoughts, he decided to do something—anything to get his mind off his inability to sort those feelings. He paused with his hand on the door. Perhaps he could find Alex. She had said she needed some space, but he did know there was a possibility he could assist. He had a unique perspective on the situation, after all. He still had to remind himself that it would be best not to bring up anything else for the time being. That could wait until everything else was not as crazy.
Sephiroth was unsure where to find Alex, but he decided to look in the public parts of the village. It was unlikely she had a place to hide yet. However, he was brought up short as he turned to exit into the central part of the town. The voices he heard were unmistakable.
Typically, he would have turned as soon as he realized that Alex and Genesis were having a personal conversation. However, he was rooted to the spot when he heard Genesis's question. He found that he wanted to learn her answer, even if part of him wished nothing more than to walk away and pretend he did not have hearing good enough to pick up what should have been a private conversation.
Despite his resolve to remain objective, Sephiroth felt an unfamiliar burning pain in his chest when he heard Alex's answer. He was not surprised. Angeal had said before that she probably still loved the man, yet that did not keep the pain from twisting further when he looked around the doorway and saw the two of them standing together in an embrace.
The sight sent a new wave of unfamiliar feeling through him. Was he angry at Genesis? He had never wished to challenge the man as much as he did at that moment. He knew it made no sense, but that did not keep his fists from clenching at his side as he tried to get himself back under control. His interference would not be appreciated.
After nearly a minute, he was able to pull back on the urge to fight his friend. Nothing had changed, not really. He could accept this, but he needed time to fully internalize whatever these feelings were. It would not take long—he had plenty of experience—but being around others would not help. With that thought, he turned to go back to the room.
Alex wasn't sure how long she had stood there in the circle of Genesis's arms. Now that she had stopped crying, she realized just how difficult her position was and how conflicted it made her. It felt so right, so good, but just thinking that caused pain to ripple through her. It was an illusion that she could not hold onto—not if she wanted to maintain the last of her sanity.
She stood there several more moments while she gathered the courage to step back. When she did, Genesis cupped one of her cheeks. It took all she had to reach up and gently pull it off. The tenderness in his eyes twisted to confusion and anger when she released his hand and took a step back.
Before he could say anything, She caught his eye and said, "Genesis, just because I love you doesn't mean this will work."
He shocked her when he didn't blow up, though he didn't answer right away. Instead, he closed his eyes and took a few breaths before he opened them and said, "I am not asking for things to go back to how they were. I can see that would be impossible, yet that does not mean we cannot start over."
Alex was almost swayed. Part of her wanted that chance to try. It broke her heart to take another step away, but she did anyway. She felt tears welling up again, but she managed to blink them back as she said, "Genesis, I wish it were that easy, but you and I both know it isn't. Even if we did start over, I love you, but I don't trust you."
His eyes widened, and it looked as though he was about to say something scathing, but Alex held up a hand and continued. "That is only part of the problem. I know—I know there are reasons for you not to trust me too. I hate that it has come to this, but you can't deny it. If we were to start over, the first time we had a fight, it would come back, and we would both get hurt even worse."
Genesis ignored the distance as he tried to retake her hand. She didn't let him, but he still said, "Alexandra, I would never want to hurt you in such a way. I understand why you did what you did. I cannot claim I would not have done the same had our situations been reversed."
She shook her head as she said, "It easy to say that now, but I know you. I know me too. It would get brought up, or at least thought about. It would only cause a rift. Please, don't make this harder than it has to be. I—I want you to be happy."
His eyes narrowed as he said, "If you wish me to be happy, then say yes. That is all I require."
Alex felt a couple of tears fall. The part of her that wanted to give in and kiss Genesis senseless was growing, but it was still small compared to her doubt. She knew they would never work, plus there was a small portion in the back of her mind that told her she may no longer want it to, even if that truth did hurt.
She pushed all of that back as she responded, "You think that now, but we are not meant to be. I do want you to be happy, and even though this kills me to say, I believe you will be someday. You'll find someone that you can take all these lessons we've learned together and make her happy. I want nothing but the best for you, but it isn't me."
Her tears were flowing freely now, but she shocked him when she stepped forward and kissed his cheek as she whispered. "It may take a while, but the only thing I want is for you to be happy."
She stepped back and continued, "You were always my best friend. I don't know if we will ever get back there, and I regret that more than anything. Still, if you ever figure out how to forgive me, remember that."
Her voice choked as she stepped back again. When he didn't say anything in response, she turned and fled. She meant every word she said, but that didn't mean her heart wasn't broken all over again. Though this time, she could tell it was like a wound that had been cleaned. It would take time, but she would heal. If only everything else in her life would work out that way.
Sephiroth had headed back toward the room assigned to them, but he had not gone there directly. His attention was more on his scattered thoughts than his pace. However, when he did make it there, he was uncomfortable to see it was already occupied by Angeal. He hid it well, but the man was only a reminder of his conflicted thoughts and wished the man had not been there.
Before the door was closed, Angeal asked, "Sephiroth, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
The general paused as he closed the door and gave the man a curious look. He wasn't shocked that Angeal could tell there was a problem. Both siblings seemed to be far more intuitive than one would assume. He finally shook his head as he said, "No, there is nothing wrong."
Angeal did not look convinced. "I will not pry, but you know you don't have to keep everything hidden. I consider you a friend and would like to reassure you that as a friend, I make a great sounding board."
Sephiroth felt the edges of his lips turn up. The twins were more alike than he had assumed. That did not help his twisted thoughts. He had not planned on saying anything, but the comparison had him speaking before he thought better of it. "I am fine, but I did see something unexpected. I was simply considering how it might affect the rest of us while we are trying to figure out where to go from here."
Angeal frowned slightly as he gestured to a stool and said, "What was it? It must have been something important to make that look on your face."
Sephiroth nearly sighed as he took the seat. He did not want to talk about it, as that would not help him internalize these unwanted feelings. Still, he knew Angeal was not going to give up. Perhaps he could keep his thoughts out of it and only relay the events. "I had taken a walk. While I was out, I accidentally overheard part of a conversation. I did not eavesdrop, but what I did hear is significant."
Angeal raised a brow as he said, "You aren't one to pry into other people's business, so it must have been big."
Sephiroth could tell that Angeal was too polite to ask, but this would eventually affect them all. He nodded as he said, "I do not wish to step out of line, but I believe you should know that it seems as though Alex and Genesis have made up and are reconnecting."
Angeal's eyes turned sympathetic as he said, "Are you sure?"
Sephiroth's jaw clenched for a moment before he nodded. "Yes. I did not hear most of the conversation, but I did hear them declare their love for one another. I did not want to eavesdrop, so I left as soon as I realized they were having a private conversation."
Angeal sighed as he patted the general's shoulder. He didn't say anything, but he wouldn't have gotten a chance to anyway. Alex stormed into the room and stopped as soon as she saw both Sephiroth and her brother. She frowned but looked away from Sephiroth and focused on her brother.
Angeal was already taking her arm with a worried look. "Are you all right? You look pale. Have you been crying?"
Alex sighed as she scrubbed at her cheeks. Her voice sounded tired as she said, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just had a talk with Genesis."
Her words did not seem to help her brother as he said, "Is that why you were crying?"
Both men were shocked when a few tears escaped her closed eyes. Her voice was barely above a whisper when she said, "I'm sorry, Geal. I'll be okay. It's just that Genesis asked me for something that I can't give him. Things will go back to as normal as they can be, but I need a bit."
She then turned to Sephiroth with an uncomfortable look as she said, "I apologize for asking this, but would you mind giving Geal and me a few moments? I need to talk to my brother."
Sephiroth stood immediately. It did not show on his face, but his confused thoughts were only that much more crowded. Still, he managed a nod as he said, "Of course. Please do not feel that you are offending me."
He then left without another word. That did not keep his mind from whirring as he walked away from the room. Did her words mean what he thought? She had said she loved Genesis but declined his request anyway? He wasn't sure why that would have happened, but he could not deny that the thought of it caused that pain in his chest to ease. He almost wanted to smile. Though the idea of it made the furrow form between his brows.
Why did the idea that Alex had turned Genesis down ease his mind? None of it made sense to him, but his step was much lighter as he walked back out of the caverns.
A/N: I did say things are going to get more emotional. So what do you think of the interactions? Nothing is ever easy, that's for sure. At least we do see a glimmer from both Seph and Alex that things will smooth out eventually. There is something HUGE coming in the next chapter, so I hope you are excited to get there. I am 😁. Thanks for reading and cheers!